by Cate Tiernan
"Just once," Cal said after a pause, and inside, I felt my heart cease its pumping and slowly clog shut with ice. "You know what Bree's like," he went on. "She won't take no for an answer. One night, before I really knew you, she jumped on me, and I let her. To me it was no big deal, but I guess she was hurt that I didn't want more." I was silent, my eyes locked on his, seeing in their reflection all my dreams exploding, all my hopes for our future, all shattering like glass. Page
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"The only powers she had were reflections coming from you," he said, the barest trace of disdain in his voice. "Once I realized you were the one, Bree was just... unimportant"
"Realized I was the one what?" My voice sounded tight, raspy, and I coughed and spoke again. "The one Woodbane around? The Woodbane princess of Belwicket?" I pushed him away. "Why do you keep lying to me?" I cried in anguish. "Why can't you just tell me who you are and what you want?" I was practically screaming, and Cal winced and held up his hands. "You don't love me," I accused him, still pathetically hoping he would prove me wrong. "I could be anyone, young or old, pretty or ugly, smart or stupid, as long as I was Woodbane."
Cal flinched and shook his head. "That isn't true, Morgan," he said, a note of desperation in his voice. "That isn't true at all." "Then what is true?" I asked. "Is anything you've told me true?" "Yes!" he said strongly, raising his head. "It's true that I love you!" I managed a credible snort.
"Morgan," he began, then stopped, looking at the ground. His hands on his hips, he went on. "This is the truth. You're right. I was supposed to find a Woodbane, and I did."
I almost gasped with pain.
"I was supposed to get close to her, and I did." How could I still be standing, I wondered in a daze. "I was supposed to make her love me," he said quietly. "And I did." Oh, Goddess, oh, Goddess, oh, Goddess.
He raised his head and looked at me, my eyes huge and horrified. "And you were the Woodbane, and you didn't even know it And then you turned out to be from the Belwicket line, and it was like we'd hit gold. You were the one."
Oh, Goddess, help me. Help me, please, I beg you. "So I got close to you and made you love me, right?" I had no answer. My throat was closed.
Cal gave a laugh laced with bitterness. "The thing is," he said, "no one said I had to love you back. No one expected me to, including me. But I do, Morgan. No one said I had to fall for you, but I did. No one said I had to desire you, enjoy your company, admire you, take pride in your strength, but I do, dammit! I do." His voice had been rising, and he stepped closer to me. "Morgan, however it started, it isn't like that now. I feel like I've always loved you, always known you, always wanted a future with you." He put his hand on my shoulder, gently kneading and squeezing, and I tried to back pp. "You're my muirn beatha dan," he said softly. "I love you. I want you. I want us to be together."
"What about Selene?" My voice sounded like a croak. "Selene has her own plans, but they don't have to include us," he said, stepping closer still. "You have to understand how hard it is to be her son, her only son. She depends on me—I'm the heir to the throne. But I can have my own life, too, with you, and it doesn't have to include her. It's just— first I have to help her finish some things she's been working on. If you help us, too, it will all go so much faster. And then we can be free of her." I looked at him, feeling a cold, deadly calm replacing the panic and wretchedness inside me. I knew what I had seen in my vision, and I knew Cal was either lying or kidding himself about Selene's plans. They didn't include letting him—or me—be free.
"I'm free of her now," I said. "I know that Selene needs me for something. She's counting on you to sign me up. But I'm not going to, Cal. I'm not going to be part of it."
His expression looked like he had just watched me get hit by a car. "Morgan," he choked out, "you don't understand. Remember our future, our plans, our little apartment Remember? Please just help us with this one thing, and then we can work out all the
details later. Trust me on this. Please." My heart was bleeding. I said, "No. Selene can't have me. I won't do what she wants. I won't go with you. It's all over, Cal. I'm leaving the coven. And I'm leaving you."
His head snapped up as if I had hit him, and he stared at me. "You don't know what you're saying." "I do," I said, trying to make my voice strong, though I really wanted only to crumple in misery on the ground. "It's over. I won't be with you anymore." Each word scarred my
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throat, etching its pain in acid.
"But you love me!"
I looked at him, unable to deny it even after all this. "I love you," he said. "Please, Morgan. Don't—don't force my hand, just come with me, let Selene explain everything herself. She can make you understand better than I can."
"No."
"Morgan! I'm asking you, if you love me, come with me now. You don't have to do anything you don't want to. Just [come and tell Selene herself that you won't be part of her coven. That's all you need to do. Just tell her to her face. I'll back you up."
"You tell her."
His eyes narrowed with anger, then it was gone. "Don't be unreasonable. Please don't make me do anything I don't want to do." Fear shot through me. "What are you talking about?" His face had a strange look, a look of desperation. I was suddenly terrified. The next second I whirled, broke into a run, and was digging my car keys out of my pocket. I ripped open the car door, hearing Cal right behind me, then he yanked the door open, hard, and shoved me in. “Ow!" I cried as my head hit the door frame. “Get in!" he roared, pushing against me. "Get in!" Goddess, help me, I prayed as I scrambled to let myself out the other side. But when I grabbed the door handle, Cal put his hand on my neck and squeezed, muttering words that I didn't understand, words that sounded ancient and dark and ugly.
I tried to counter with my Gaelic chant, but my tongue frozen my mouth and a paralyzing numbness swept over me, I couldn't move, couldn't look away from him, couldn't scream. He had put a binding spell on me. Again. I'm so stupid, I thought ridiculously as he started Das Boot with my keys.
17. The Seomar
February I did it. I put a witch under the braigh. The fellow in Cornwell was mad, there is no question of that. When I came to question him he first tried to evade me, then when he saw that I would not give up, he flew into a frenzy. He gibbered about how he would curse me and my whole family, that he was one of the Cwn Annwyn, the hounds of Hell. He began to shout out a spell and I had to wrestle him to the ground and put the braigh on him. Then he began to weep and plead. He told me how it burned him, and begged me to let him go. At last his eyes rolled back in his head and he lost consciousness.
I put him in the car, and Athar drover us to London. I left him with Kennet Muir. Kennet told me I'd done well; the man might be mad but he also had true power and was therefore dangerous. He said my task was done, and now it was the seven elders' job to determine the man's future. I left, and then Ather and I went to a pub and got very drunk. Later, she held me while I wept.
-Giomanach
"You just don't get it, do you?" Cal said angrily, taking a corner too fast. I slumped against the car door helplessly. Inside, my mind was whirring like a tornado, a thousand thoughts spinning out of control, but the binding spell he had put on me weighted my limbs as thoroughly as if I were encased in cement. "Slow down," I managed to whisper. "Shut up!" he shouted. "I can't believe you're making me do this! I love you! Why can't you listen to me? All I need is for you to come talk to Selene. But no. You can't even do that for me. The one thing I ask you to do, you won't. And now I have to do this. I don't want to do this." slanted my eyes sideways and looked at Cal, at his Strong profile, his hands gripping Das Boot's steering wheel. This was a nightmare, like other magickal nightmares I'd had before, and soon I would wake up, panting, in my own Page
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bed at home. I just needed to wake up. Wake up, I told myself. Wake up. You'll be late for school.
r /> "Morgan," Cal said, his voice calmer. "Just think this through. We've been working with witchcraft for years. You've only been doing it a couple of months. At some point you'll just have to trust us with what we're doing. You're only resisting because you don't understand. If you would calm down and listen to me, it would all make sense."
Since I was in essence deadweight right now, his telling me to calm down seemed particularly ironic. Cal kept on talking, but my brain drifted away from his monologue.
Focus, I thought Focus. Get it together. Make a plan. "I thought you would be loyal to me always," Cal said. My eyes were just above the window ledge, and I saw that we were just entering Widow's Vale. Were we going to Cal's house? It was so secluded—once he got me there, I'd never get out I thought about my parents wondering where I was and wanted to cry. Focus, dammit! Think your way out of this. You're the most powerful witch they've ever seen; surely there must be something you can do. Think! Cal flew through a red light at the edge of town, and involuntarily I flinched as I heard the squeal of brakes and an angry horn. I realized he hadn't even put my seat belt on me, and in my present helpless state I couldn't do it myself. Fresh, cold fear trickled down my spine when I pictured what would happen to me in an accident.
Think. Focus. Concentrate.
"You should have just trusted me," Cal was saying. "I know so much more than you do. My mother is so much more powerful than you. You're a student—why didn't you just trust me?"
My door was locked. If I could open it, I could maybe tumble out somehow. And get crushed beneath the wheels since I probably couldn't leap out of the way. Could I unroll my window and shout for help? Would anyone in town recognize my car and wonder why I wasn't driving it? I tried to clench my right hand and saw with dismay that I could barely curl up my first knuckle.
The night of my birthday, when Cal had put the binding spells on me, I had somehow managed to break free. I had— pushed, with my mind, like tearing through plastic, and then I had been able to move. Could I do that now? We raced through downtown Widow's Vale, the three stoplights, the lit storefronts, the cars on their way home. I peered up over my window, hoping someone, anyone, would see me. Would Cal get stopped for speeding? I almost cried as a moment later we passed through downtown and were on the less traveled road that led toward Cal's house. Panic threatened to overtake me again, and I stamped it down.
Bree's face floated suddenly into my mind. I seized on it Bree, Bree, I thought, closing my eyes and concentrating. Bree, I need your help. Cal has me. He's taking me to Selene. Please come help me. Get Hunter, get Sky. I'm in my car. Cal is desperate. He's going to take me to Selene. Bree? Robbie? Hunter, please help, Hunter, Sky, anyone, can you hear me? Working this hard mentally was exhausting, and my breath was coming in shallow pants.
"You don't understand," Cal went on. "Do you have any idea what they'd do to me if I showed up without you?" He gave a short barking laugh. "Goddess, what Hunter did to me that night was child's play compared to what they would do." He looked at me then, his eyes glittering eerily. He looked belovedly familiar and yet horribly different "You don't want them to hurt me, do you? You don't know what they could do to me...." I closed my eyes again, trying to shut him out. Cal had always been so in control. To see him this way was sickening, and a cold sweat broke out on my forehead. I swallowed and tried to go deep inside myself, deep to where the power was. Bree, please, I'm sorry, I thought. Help. Help me. Save me. Selene is going to kill me.
"Stop that!" Cal suddenly shouted, leaning over and shaking my shoulder hard.
I gasped, opening my eyes. He glared at me in fury. "Stop that! You don't contact anyone! Anyone! Do you hear me?" His angry voice swelled in the car's interior, filling my ears and making my head hurt. One hand shook me until my teeth rattled, and I clenched my jaws together. I felt the car making big swerves on the road and prayed to the Goddess to protect me. "Don't you wreck this car," I said, unclenching my lips enough to speak. Abruptly he let go of me, and I saw the glare of headlights coming at us Page
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and then the long, low blare of a truck horn blowing. It swept past us as I drew in a frightened breath.
"Shit!" Cal said, jerking the steering wheel to the right. Another horn blared as a black car screeched to a halt just before ramming my side. I started to shake, slumped against my door, so afraid, I could hardly think. You, afraid? part of me scoffed. You're the Woodbane princess of Belwicket. You could crush Cal with the power in your little finger. You have the Riordan strength, the Belwicket history. Now, save yourself. Do it! Okay, I could do this, I told myself. I was a kick-ass power conduit Letting my eyes float closed again, trying not to think about the chaos raging around me, I let the music come to me, the timeless music that magick sent. An di allaigh an di algh, I thought hearing the tune come to me as if borne on a breeze across clover-covered hills.
An di allaigh an di ne ullah. Was that my voice, singing in a pure ribbon of glorious sound that only I could hear? My fingers tingled, as if coming awake. An di ullah be nith rah. I drew in a deep, shuddering breath, feeling my muscles twitch, my toes curl. I am breaking this binding spell, I thought. I am smashing it. I am tearing it like wet tissue. Cair di na ulla nith rah, Cair feal ti theo nith rah, An di allaigh an di aigh. I was myself. I had done it. I stayed exactly where I was, opening my eyes and gazing around. With a flare of alarm I recognized the tall hedges that surrounded Cal's property. He swung Das Boot into a side road, skidding a bit, and we began to crunch on icy gravel.
Bree, Sky, Hunter, Robbie, anyone, I thought, feeling my radiating power. Alyce, David, any witch, can you hear me? The side road to Cal's driveway was long, with tall, overhanging trees. It was pitch-black except where moonlight glistened off snow. The dashboard clock said six-thirty. My family was sitting down to eat. At the thought I felt a surge of anger so strong it was hard for me to hide it I couldn't accept the possibility that I might never see them again, Mom, Dad, Mary K., Dagda. I would escape. I would get out of this. I was very powerful. "Cal, you're right" I said, making my voice sound weak. I couldn't even feel the effects of the binding spell anymore, and a surge of hope flamed in my chest "I'm sorry," I said. "I didn't realize how important this was to you. Of course I'll go talk to your mom."
He turned the wheel and paused, reaching out his left hand and pointing it ahead of him. I heard the metallic rumbling of heavy gates, heard them swing on hinges and clunk open with a bang.
Then, as if he had finally heard me, Cal looked over. "What?" He stepped on the gas, and we rolled through the gate. Ahead of me was a dark roofline, and I realized we were in the backyard, and the building in front of me was the little pool house. Where Cal had his seomar. "I said, I'm sorry," I repeated. "You're right. You're my muirn beatha dan, and I should trust you. I do trust you. I just—felt unsure. Everyone keeps telling me something different, and I got confused. I'm sorry." Das Boot rolled slowly to a halt, ten feet from the pool house. It was dark, with the car's one headlight shining sadly on the dead brown ivy covering the building.
Cal turned off the engine, leaving the keys in the ignition. He kept his eyes on me, where I leaned awkwardly against the door. It was all I could do to keep my hand from grasping the door handle, popping the door, and running with all my might. What spell could I put on Cal to slow him down? I didn't know any. Suddenly I remembered how his pentacle had burned at my throat when I used Maeve's tools. I'd felt better without it on. Was it spelled? Had I been wearing a spell charm all this time? I wouldn't doubt it at this point. With agonizingly slow movement, I slipped my right hand down into my pocket and pulled out Cal's pentacle. He hadn't noticed I wasn't wearing it yet and I let it slip from my fingers to the floor of the car. As soon as it left my hand, my head felt clearer, sharper, and I had more energy. Oh, Goddess, I was right The pentacle had been spelled all this time. "What are you saying?" Cal said, and I blinked. "I'm sorry," I repeated, making my voice a little stronger. "This is all new to me.
It's all confusing. But I've been thinking about what you said, and you're right. I should trust you."
His eyes narrowed, and he took hold of my hand. "Come on," he said, opening his door. His grip on my hand was crushing, and I dismissed the possibility that I could slip out suddenly and run. Instead he pulled me out the driver's side door and helped me stand. I pretended to be weaker than I was and Page
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leaned against him.
"Oh, Cal," I breathed. "How did we get into such a fight? I don't want to fight with you." I made my voice soft and sweet, the way Bree did when she talked to guys, and I leaned against Cal's chest Seeing the mixture of hope and suspicion cross his face was painful. Suddenly I pushed hard against him, shoving with every bit of strength in my arms, and he staggered backward. I raised my right hand and shot a spitting, crackling bolt of blue witch fire at him, and this time I didn't hold anything back. It blasted Cal right in the chest and he cried out and sank to his knees. I was already running, my boots pounding heavily toward the metal gates that were swinging closed. The next thing I knew my knees had crumpled and I was falling in slow motion to land heavily, facefirst, on the icy gravel. The breath left my lungs in a painful whoosh, and then Cal stood over me, cradling one arm against his chest, his face a mask of rage.
I tried to roll quickly to shoot witch fire again, the only defensive weapon I knew, but he put his boot on my side and pressed down, pinning me to the cold ground. Then he grabbed one of my arms, hauled me to my feet, and squeezed the back of my neck, muttering another spell. I screamed. "Help! Help! Someone help me!" but of course no one came. Then I sagged, a deadweight. "An di allaigh," I began in a choking voice as Cal hauled me toward the pool house. I knew where we were going, and I absolutely did not want to go there.