“Copy that.” Click.
I resume my position on the bed watching TV when I hear a knock at the door. As I look down at my sleep shorts and tank top, I don’t bother covering up for who I assume is Savvy on the other side. When I get to the front door I open it up and slam it shut all in the same motion. What the hell?
“Ashlyn, please open the door.” Josh pleads.
“Go away Josh!”
“I’m not going anywhere until you talk to me. Please, just give me ten minutes.”
I stand there and weigh the decision in my head. Josh won’t go away until he sees me. If I let him in it will get me back to my bed faster, decision made. I open the door and gesture for him to come inside.
“You have two minutes, I’m watching something important on TV.” I walk over to the couch and sit down, realizing he hasn’t followed me. When I turn around and look at him I get uncomfortable. He’s looking me over with an intense hunger in his eyes. Damn it, I should have covered up.
I clear my throat, crossing my arms over my chest. “I’m pretty sure you came in to talk, not ogle me.”
“Right, you’re right.” He shakes his head slightly and walks over and sits facing me, much too close. “Ash…I don’t even know where to start.”
“The beginning always works.” I snap.
“Okay. Last night Marybeth moved out, we’re done.”
Well, I wasn’t expecting that bombshell. I’m intrigued and I hate myself for it. It shouldn’t matter that he’s done with her. I told him if he left I wouldn’t be here to fall back on.
“And this has what to do with me?”
“This has everything to do with you Ashlyn.” He gets up and starts pacing. “I’ve regretted walking away from you every single day. I want another chance.”
“Please, explain to me why you broke up with Marybeth. Not that it’ll change anything.”
He lets out a frustrated sigh and rubs his hands down his face before looking me in the eye.
“She manipulated me, there was never a baby. Her plan was to convince me she was pregnant, then try to get me to knock her up while we were back together.”
“That’s awful and I’m truly sorry, but your breakup has nothing to do with me…I’m still your second choice.” I look down at my hands, unable to look him in the eye. “I’d like you to leave.”
“No Ash, I love you. I want to be with you, please, give me another chance.” He pleads with me and I can’t take anymore.
“Please. Leave. Now.”
“Alright, I’ll leave but I’m not going away Hellcat.” I close my eyes and cringe when I hear that name come out of his mouth. He used to call me that all the time because I’m feisty and don’t have a filter. “I’ll prove to you that I’m worthy of your love and fight with everything I am to show you that you’re the only woman for me. You’re all I’ve ever wanted.” Josh leans over and places a gentle kiss on my forehead before walking to the front door, closing it behind him.
As I hear his car make its way down the driveway, tears cascade down my cheeks. Part of me feels hopeful. We could be a family and be happy, have a real shot at the white picket fence thing. Then the other part of me remembers what I went through with all the other guys I’ve been with. They all ended in heartache for me and Josh being the worst. If he broke my heart a second time I don’t think I could come back from that.
I hear my phone chime and head down the hall to my bedroom after locking the front door. My phone lights up on my bureau.
Josh: I will do whatever it takes.
Part of me hopes its true.
CHAPTER 4
Ashlyn
As I’m driving down the street I see the familiar sign of a diner I eat at frequently. I’m here to meet my Gran, we try to meet up once a week for breakfast so we can catch up. I grew up most of my life without my parents, my Gran swooped in and took over when their addictions became more important than their own daughter. It sucks that they chose drugs over me, but what can you do? I had plenty of support from my grandmother who loved me enough for the both of them.
I look around the parking lot and spot her cherry red Mustang convertible. She may be an old lady, but she’s the coolest person I know. Butterflies take flight in my belly thinking about what I’m about to do. I know she’ll support me, but telling her that I’m knocked up isn’t the ideal situation. Nobody wants to be a disappointment to someone they love.
When I walk through the door I say a quick hello to the waitress and head towards the back. We always sit in the same booth and when I see her I can’t help but smile. She’s sitting in the booth wearing her Sally Jessy Raphael glasses trying to read the newspaper. She looks up as I approach with a smile on her face. Her smile is infectious causing one to form on my face. I lean into the booth and wrap my arms around her and squeeze. She always makes me feel at home.
“Hey Gran, how’re you feeling?”
“Grateful. I woke up this morning, didn’t I? Mr. Jeffries was in bed with me, but all the same.” She waves her hand through the air throwing a wink my way.
“Go get it Gran. Is it sad that you have a better sex life than I do?”
“Are you not shaving again? When did that hippy phase even start Ash? No guy wants to go down on you when they have to fight through a jungle.”
Almost spitting out my water I grab my napkin and wipe the little dribble of water that escaped my mouth. “I never went through a freaking hippy phase Gran! I’m always neat and tidy, thank you very much.”
She looks at me doubtfully as the waitress drops the food off at our table in record time. We’ve been coming here for years and the waitresses put in our order the second they see us come through the doors. It’s nice, familiar.
“I actually have something important to tell you.”
“Out with it young lady so I can enjoy my eggs benedict.”
I take a deep breath and try to calm myself. “You see…I’m pregnant.” I shovel a heaping forkful of French toast into my mouth as I nervously wait for her response.
“It’s about time! The good lord knows I’m only going to be around this earth so much longer and I need to see my great grandchildren before my time is up.”
“Don’t be silly, you’re going to be around forever.”
“I wish sweetheart. Tell me more, you can’t drop a bomb like that with no details.”
“The father is Zander’s brother Josh. Before you ask, no we aren’t together.” I sit back and give her the non-gory details of our tryst while she sits quietly listening.
“You’re saying that this ass clown left my baby the morning after you fornicated, for another woman, no less. If I ever see that dickhead I’m going to give him a piece of my mind.”
I love my Gran so much. She’s the type to act now and ask questions later. I continue on with my story telling her about last night when Josh showed up at my house.
“Okay I know I just called him an ass clown, but this sounds just like a romance novel! Sweetie, you need to see how this plays out. Don’t completely push aside the idea of getting back together with him. He’s the baby’s father after all and he sounds like one hell of a lay.”
“Gran, I made no mention of his sexual skills. Why would you even think that?”
“Listen to you all hoity toity. He knocked you up in one go, that’s how I know he was a good lover.” I cringe at the word because it brings me back to when I was younger. Gran and Aunt Cheryl used to go out for girl’s nights all the time. It’s a wonder neither of them ever got married. They always said they didn’t need a man holding them back when they wanted to sample all the fine cuisine. At the time, I thought they were really talking about food.
“I want to meet this young man, and soon Ashlyn. Set him straight and get a look at his character. You know I’m a great judge of character, remember Todd?” When she says his name my stomach starts to turn.
Todd was an ex-boyfriend of mine. I was with him for eight miserable months and became a statistic
when he started slapping me around. I tried to get out, but he kept threatening my loved ones. He used to say he’d sneak into Savvy’s room in the middle of the night if I didn’t do as he said. To do what? I don’t even want to think about what he was capable of. It finally ended when Mr. Jenks came over one day to surprise us with lunch and found me sprawled out on the floor. Todd got mad that I wore what he considered an inappropriate shirt to work the night before when he found it in the laundry. As I remember him smacking me upside the head with the side table lamp, a chill creeps through my body. I haven’t thought about him in quite some time.
“You can meet him when we get back from Vegas. I’d like to figure this whole situation out before you guys meet. Why do I feel like you’re gonna push for me to get back with him? What happened to not needing a man, that there are too many out there to settle down with just one?”
“I became an 80-year-old woman who lives alone with her four cats, that’s what happened. I’m the real life crazy cat lady and I hate it. Sure, I’ve got bed mates from time to time, but having someone to come home to everyday would be nice at my age.”
Her admission makes my heart hurt. Gran deserves to be happy, she is one of the best people I know.
“It’s not too late you know. I see all the guys eyeing you at the senior center. You should give one a chance, he might surprise you.”
“Yeah, yeah. On to the next subject please.”
We laugh our way through breakfast as we usually do. I need to make a point to get out to visit her more often. She doesn’t come into the bar as much as she used to because she hates driving at night. Savvy and I try to convince her to come in during the day, but she always replies saying only losers hit the bars during the day. Go figure.
I bring my fork to my mouth and pause when a shadow descends upon me. When I turn my head to look at our visitor I swear under my breath. Of course Josh would be here, why not?
“Well, what do we have here?” Gran asks as she fluffs her perfectly set hair.
“Gran, this is Josh.” Her eyes widen for a split second before she trains her expression.
“The Josh?” she not so quietly whispers.
Josh raises his eyebrow. “Good to know I’m being talked about.”
“Well of course she’s talking about you, she’s pre-” I kick Gran under the table making her yelp, but it gets her to shut up before she reveals my secret.
“As you can see I’m enjoying breakfast with my Gran. Can we talk another time?” I try to put some sass in my voice so he takes the hint and leaves us alone.
“I don’t want to keep you ladies. We saw you over here and I wanted to take the opportunity to come say hi.” Shoving his hands in his pockets, he looks a little devastated.
“It was nice to meet you mam. I hope to see you again soon.” Josh turns his head looking at me. “Ash, I’ll be seeing you around.”
When he gets back to who I now see is Jayden, I look over to Gran and laugh. She is fanning herself with the dessert menu and her cheeks are flushed.
“I haven’t been this aroused since I accidentally bought the warming KY jelly on accident.”
Ugh, I smack my hand to my forehead with that mental picture and try to clear my mind.
“What? When you get older, things aren’t as…moist. Friction is not our friend sweetie.”
“Please tell me more. I didn’t really want my breakfast or anything.” I dive back into my French toast. Not even talk of an old lady using KY can ruin my appetite, this French toast is heavenly.
We finish up and pay the bill. As we’re leaving, Gran takes the long way to the exit conveniently going by Josh’s table. I think we’re in the clear until she stops in front of Josh and gives him her hand with an expectant look. A confused Josh looks over to me before picking it up and bringing it to his lips, kissing her hand gently.
“Sweetie, you just gave me spank bank material for a year. Bless you.” She scurries off for the exit leaving me standing there with my mouth wide open.
“Carry on,” I mutter trying to hold in the laugh that’s threatening to expel out of my mouth. As I’m walking away I hear they guys burst out laughing and Jay says something about having a thing for cougars. I can’t hold it in anymore as I exit the diner and double over in a fit of laughter. By the time I gain back my composure, Gran’s burning rubber out of the parking lot. #LifeGoals I think in my head.
One can only hope they can be as cool as Gran in their older years. It’s a given that I’ll be hot stuff in my 80’s, just look at the evidence.
CHAPTER 5
Ashlyn
I grab my suitcase from the conveyor belt and my nerves start to get the better of me. It was easy enough avoiding Josh by pretending to nap on the plane, but now that we’re in Vegas it’s a whole different story.
“Let me grab that for you.” Josh says in my ear, making me shiver from his gravely tone.
“I can handle it myself asshole.” I walk towards the group wheeling my suitcase behind me.
“Hold up Ash!”
I spin around and pin Josh with a glare. Just looking at him takes me back to that night and I can’t keep the thoughts from invading my mind.
“Where do you see us in five years?” I question feeling slightly unsure if I even want to hear his answer. Most guys I’ve dated have answered, “Why don’t we just focus on today? Why worry about the future when nobody knows what tomorrow will bring?”
“Well,” he brings my hand to his mouth and kisses my knuckles. “I see us just like this Hellcat. You and me always. And the spankings, always the spankings.” He gets that wicked gleam in his eyes that causes goosebumps to rise up my spine.
My heart melts at his words. For the first time in a long time I can see the future, I’m not planning my life day by day anymore. Josh is my forever. Finally, I found a man that treats me right that I can’t get enough of.
I angrily shake my head. Who the heck does he think he is bringing all these old feelings and memories up inside of me? Just because shit was messed up with his ex, he expects me to take him back just like that? As if all those months of hurt, pain and the obvious fact that he didn’t choose me will just be forgotten?
“What do you want Josh? I think I said everything that needed to be said back home. Just forget I’m even here.” I look down at the ground hoping to come off annoyed instead of upset.
“Listen Ash…”
“Come on bitch you can ride with us to the hotel.” Savvy exclaims while she links our arms together. As we walk away I lean my head on her shoulder and take a deep breath.
“Thank you.” I whisper.
“You know I always have your back. You also know that I think you should tell him about the baby. The longer you keep it a secret, the bigger chance it will blow up in your face. Plus, he’s going to start noticing.”
I know Savvy’s right but I can’t bring myself to tell him. Before I could justify it in my head that he was with the woman he chose and their baby, but now I don’t have an excuse. The longer I wait the guiltier I feel. I plan on telling him when we get back home after the charity event, I just need to figure out how.
As we make our way out to the SUV’s I glance towards Josh. When our eyes meet I immediately look away. He doesn’t need any mixed signals from me and I need to get out of this funk.
The drive to the hotel doesn’t take long. When we get into the lobby Zander hands us our room keys and pulls a giggling Savvy towards the elevators. Guess I don’t have my buffer anymore. I make the decision to put my big girl panties on and make my way over to Josh.
“Hey after you settle in can we talk?”
He looks at me with wide eyes and nods his head yes. Clearly, I caught him off guard.
“Yeah of course. I think our rooms are next to each other. Why don’t I come to yours in a half hour?”
“Sounds peachy…” I mutter as we get on the elevator.
He wasn’t lying, our rooms are right next to each other. Thanks a lot Za
nder. I know this was his doing.
I unlock my door and walk inside, finally able to take a deep breath. I can do this, we can be cordial.
I’m putting my last items from my suitcase away when I hear a knock at the door. My heart starts beating erratically and I try taking a few calming breaths before I answer. Those people that promote meditation… what a crock.
I open the door to find a shy looking Josh on the other side standing with his hands in the pockets of his jeans. As he looks downwards it gives me a chance to look him over for the first time today. He’s such a Texas boy as I glance at his cowboy boots and continue my path upwards towards his thighs in jeans that fit him to perfection. I know what those thighs can do, I’ve experienced them first hand. Under that tee shirt his body is like a dream. The ink that swirls around his arms makes my mouth water, they’re truly beautiful and I remember licking every inch of them. As I meet his eyes, he’s watching me intently. Damnit!
“Come on in…”
He walks in and props himself up against the TV stand. Why does he have to look at me like he still cares about me? He makes it so hard to hate him.
“Don’t look at me like that… I’d rather you close your eyes.”
“Look at you like what Ash? Like I care for you…like I love you? If you’re telling me to look at you another way I can’t. I said it back home and I’ll say it again. I’m going to prove myself to you and win you back. You give my life meaning and I refuse to give up hope of a second chance.”
“Oh, isn’t that grand? You drop me like a bad habit for some other woman but now…now you can’t live without me? What kind of shit is that?”
“That choice was the biggest mistake of my life and I’ve regretted it every second after I walked away from you.”
“What the fuck ever. I don’t want to talk about this. I invited you over so that we can call a truce. Because whether I like it or not, your brother is my best friends husband. We were friends once and I think we can be again.”
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