by A. E. Radley
“Your room is down the corridor, at the end on the right,” Selina said. “There’s a bathroom next door, which you can use exclusively. The master has an en suite.” She kicked off her heels and put them away in a hallway closet which was the size of Kate’s bedroom at Abigail’s house.
It was becoming clear that the Porsche Selina drove and the designer suits she wore were not for show. Selina really was extremely wealthy.
And that made Kate unreasonably angry.
She knew in her heart that Selina was not to blame for what had happened, but she couldn’t forget that Selina had set her on the path. If she hadn’t wanted to move Kate on from the car park, she never would have got her the job at Edge. If she hadn’t been working at Edge when Selina’s sister came in, she wouldn’t have ended up working for her. She wouldn’t have ended up trapped in a small utility room with a man she—
Most of all, she wouldn’t have lost her place on the council waiting list for housing. Being a live-in nanny meant she’d happily removed her name. Now she’d be back to the end of the list, a list which kept changing on a daily basis as it was.
“Tea? Coffee?” Selina asked. “Have you eaten?”
Kate watched her walk into the apartment while she remained in the hallway, attempting to control her breathing. In a few short hours, her life had been turned upside down. It brought back bitter memories of a time she was desperate to forget.
Selina reappeared in the hallway, a look of confusion on her face. “Are you deaf?”
Any other day, Kate would have ignored Selina’s rude comment, but today wasn’t any other day. Today, Kate was angry and getting angrier by the second. Adrenaline pumped through her blood. Michael’s behaviour and then Abigail’s reaction played over and over again in her head.
“This is just another way for you to extract a thank you from me, isn’t it? To play… what did you call yourself?” Kate furrowed her brow in thought, trying to recall how Selina had arrogantly introduced herself a few weeks previous. “Oh, yes, my guardian angel.”
Selina interlocked her fingers in front of her and looked passively at Kate.
“It’s all some game for you, isn’t it?” she continued. “Living in your high-rise palace, looking down at the little people. Now and then you’ll throw one of us a coin and expect us to bow down to you with gratitude. Does it kill you that I won’t do that? Is that why you keep raising the bar? A coffee, a job, a home for the night? Just waiting for me to finally crack and tell you how wonderful you are?”
Selina waited for Kate to stop her rant before she gestured into the apartment.
“The kitchen is through there. Feel free to help yourself to anything in the fridge. The freezer is a little sparse, but you’re welcome to anything you may find in there. Cupboards, too. Tea and coffee are in the cabinet above the kettle. You should be able to find anything without too much hassle. There’s a utility area if you wish to wash or tumble dry anything.”
Selina picked up her handbag from the table she’d placed it on. “Obviously, feel free to enjoy the television in the living room. You should have everything you need in the bathroom, but if you can’t find something, then let me know. My room is through that hallway.” She pointed. “I’m suddenly very tired, so I’ll probably read in bed. I’ll say good night now.”
Selina turned and quickly moved towards the hallway she’d indicated.
Kate winced. She’d lashed out at someone who didn’t deserve it. Or maybe Selina did deserve it. She couldn’t tell anymore. She lifted up her two bags and walked towards the guest room.
The apartment was tastefully decorated, not ostentatious as Kate had expected. Dark blues and light greys complimented each other to make the open-plan space cosy and welcoming. She looked longingly at the long corner sofa, two comfortable-looking tub chairs, a large flat-screen television, and shelves and shelves of books that filled the living area. If she had the money, this would be her dream room to relax in.
She pulled her gaze away and focused on finding the guestroom. The carpet of the hallway was thick and plush, and she felt like she was walking on marshmallow.
At the end of the hallway, she walked through the only doorway. She dumped her bags on the floor of the guestroom and looked around in awe. It looked like a luxury hotel suite, the kind she’d only ever seen before in photographs.
The king-size bed was beautiful in creams and browns, its pillows and scatter cushions piled perfectly. Two cabinets bookended the sumptuous bed, both with designer lamps and one with an iPod dock and clock. Original artwork adorned the walls, tasteful and modern.
The carpet in the guestroom was springier than the hallway, if that was possible. Kate wanted to kick off her shoes and socks and dig her toes into the fibres. She didn’t, though; she didn’t feel comfortable or safe to do so. Her heart was still thundering in her chest, and her fight-or-flight response was on red alert.
She looked out of the window and blew out a long breath.
She was angry at Selina, but it was misplaced anger. She was furious that Selina had succeeded, had a good job, a wonderful home, and a family who loved her. Kate would have been happy with one of those, but Selina had them all, and seemingly didn’t appreciate a single one of them.
That’s not fair, she chided herself. You don’t know her. Not really.
She noticed something move out of the corner of her eye. She jumped, nearly letting out a scream, but she managed to stay silent when realisation hit her.
“Hi there!” Kate bent down and held out her hand to the cat who had appeared from behind the curtain.
The cat ignored her and continued its slow walk across the room.
Kate remained crouching, hand outstretched. “Here, kitty… come here, little kitty…”
The giant ball of fluff continued to meander away, completely ignoring her.
“About as rude as your owner, aren’t you, little kitty?” Kate sighed.
“Her name is Missy.”
Kate leapt to her feet, not having noticed Selina standing in the doorway.
“She’s not rude, she’s eighteen. Sadly, she’s blind and deaf.” Selina took a couple of steps into the room and picked up Missy. “I have no such excuse, I’m just rude. I just remembered that this is Missy’s favourite place to hang out when I’m not in and thought I’d come and remove her. Good night.”
She turned around to leave.
“Selina, wait.”
She paused but kept her back to Kate.
“I’m sorry,” Kate began. “I shouldn’t have said that, and I shouldn’t have said what I said before. It’s just been a very, very hard evening.”
“I imagine it has been. No offence taken; I’ve heard worse. Good night.”
“Wait,” Kate asked again.
Selina turned. She was holding Missy, and the giant fluff ball was leaning into her happily.
“I mean it. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said what I did. You’re… you’re just an easy target,” she admitted. “And I know you’re strong enough to take it. But that doesn’t mean it’s right. So, I’m sorry. Really.”
Selina regarded her for a few moments before giving a small incline of her head. “Apology accepted.”
“Maybe we could have some coffee together?” Kate glanced at the clock on the bedside table. “Or some tea, as it’s late. You can tell me all about Missy.”
Selina looked like she was considering it. Kate hoped that she’d agree. She felt bad for sending her misdirected anger in Selina’s direction. She wanted to ensure that her apology had been accepted, and to take her mind off the events of the evening. Sharing a hot drink and talking about an eighteen-year-old blind and deaf cat seemed as good a way as any to achieve that.
“Very well,” Selina agreed. “Just don’t get upset when I tell you that she was a stray I took in.”
Kate laughed. “I see you have a type.”
“Don’t kid yourself. You don’t look eighteen,” Selina joked before leaving the room.
“I take it back, you are rude,” Kate said as she followed her.
“Never said I wasn’t,” Selina replied.
Letting Her Go
The exhaustion helped Selina to sleep like a log. But at five o’clock she snapped wide awake, with questions and half-formed plans swimming around in her head.
Last night, she and Kate had spoken for nearly an hour. Kate had steered the conversation into easy topics: the cat, the weather, even the state of politics in the country. Everything but the topics Selina wanted to discuss.
Selina hadn’t pushed, which had surprised her. It wasn’t common for her to leave questions unanswered, but there was something in Kate’s mannerisms that told her that it wasn’t the right time.
She also knew there was an invisible clock ticking over her head. Kate had reluctantly agreed to stay, but she was fairly sure that agreement wouldn’t extend beyond one evening. And so, Selina was in a battle against time to fix things. Or attempt to, at least.
For some reason, it had become her number one priority to ensure that Kate was safe in a situation where she could get back on her feet and eventually flourish. Kate hadn’t asked for her help. In fact, she’d actively tried to push Selina away, but she felt a pull towards righting wrongs.
Not that she knew exactly what those wrongs were, but she had some idea.
Regardless of her sister’s denial, Selina knew that Michael was having affairs all the time. The young, attractive live-in nanny would be just his kind of conquest and was probably the reason Abi could never keep a nanny or an au pair in the house for more than a few months.
Whatever had happened between Kate and Michael had touched a nerve with Kate in a big way. Her usual confidence had slipped. During their late-night conversation, she seemed nervous, uncertain, and quick to anger. She’d lashed out at Selina before Selina had truly had the opportunity to say or do anything wrong.
She’d not known Kate for long, but this behaviour seemed very out of character.
She suspected she knew the reason; Kate had possibly been attacked in the past. Possibly in an abusive relationship. She knew not to make wild assumptions about things she didn’t know, but she had a good nose for these things and was rarely wrong.
The thought left her feeling helpless and angry.
It was none of her business, but somehow their lives had intertwined enough times for Selina to feel like she couldn’t ignore the matter.
She wasn’t naïve enough to think that she could solve all of Kate’s problems, but maybe she could help Kate get her life back together.
Which was why, at five-oh-seven, Selina had immediately got out of bed, showered, and started putting her plan into action.
By the time Kate came out of the guestroom at half past seven, Selina was feeling quietly pleased with herself.
“Good morning,” she greeted her guest.
“Morning,” Kate replied. “I’ll be out of your hair shortly.”
“Nonsense. Sit and have some breakfast. I’d like to talk to you.”
Kate eyed Selina suspiciously. Her hair was casually tucked behind her ears, and she looked well-rested but tense. Selina hoped that she’d be able to convince Kate of her ideas, but that tension worried her. She sat up straight on the breakfast barstool and met Kate’s gaze.
“Why do I get a strange sinking feeling?” Kate asked, pulling a mug out of the cupboard.
“Because you’re a naturally pessimistic personality?”
“You’re one to talk!” Kate laughed.
“I never said I was an optimist.” Selina looked at her laptop and clicked open the email from her HR manager. As she suspected, everything was falling nicely into place.
“So, what do you want to talk about?” Kate asked after pouring herself a mug of coffee.
“Have some toast. Or cereal,” Selina ordered. Kate seemed to be in a listening mood, and Selina wanted to ensure she got some food inside her before the potential backlash emerged. Kate wasn’t one to accept help lightly, and Selina knew herself well enough to know she wasn’t good at offering it in a sensitive manner.
Kate rolled her eyes and started to pour some cereal into a bowl. She splashed some milk on top before making a show of eating a spoonful.
“I’ve secured you a job,” Selina said, taking advantage of a full mouth to not get any reply.
Kate’s eyes widened.
“At my company,” Selina continued.
Her eyes widened impossibly further. She chewed faster in order to be able to speak, most likely in disagreement.
“Not working for me,” Selina reassured.
“Who’d you bribe this time?” Kate asked a split second after swallowing.
“No one. I looked at the list of vacant positions and found one that you could do, which needed to be filled. You’re doing the company a favour by taking the role without us having to hire an agency to fill the gap.”
Kate looked unsure. “What job?”
“A role in the post room. Sending out letters, delivering post to the various departments in the building. It’s not glamorous, but it’s safe, secure, and pays better than Abi ever would.”
Selina turned her laptop around and gestured for Kate to look at the screen. “This is the email from the HR manager; the job is yours if you want it. You’ll have a contract; the salary is listed. And I didn’t have to fire anyone, I promise,” she reassured her. “In fact, you don’t have to see me at all. You can hand my post to my assistant. Our paths need never cross, if that’s what you wish.”
“Isn’t she on maternity leave soon?” Kate asked while reading the email.
“Oh, yes.” She’d forgotten about the rather large problem directly in her future. Something to think about. “But whoever ends up taking the role—”
“Not me.”
“No, not you,” Selina said. “You can leave the post with them if you don’t want to see me.”
“It’s not that I don’t want to see you,” Kate explained. “I just don’t want to be beholden to you. I don’t want you to feel like you own me, or for me to feel like I owe you. Although, I do feel like I owe you already.”
“Well, you don’t.”
Kate turned to look at her. “But I do. Saying that I shouldn’t won’t make me change the way I feel.”
Selina shrugged. “Fine, feel however you wish. But you don’t owe me anything.” She stood up and took her empty coffee mug to the dishwasher. “Of course, you’re welcome to stay here until you get a place of your own.”
“No, I can’t do that.”
Selina paused as she put her mug on the rack. She’d worried that would be Kate’s answer. She’d agonised about the best way to help keep her safe. Her knee-jerk reaction was to give her all the money she needed, rent an apartment on her behalf, or force the woman to live with her, but she knew that Kate would react badly to any of those suggestions.
It was time to tread lightly.
“I’ll take the job, and I’ll stay at the shelter for now. Once I save enough money, I’ll get a place of my own,” Kate said.
Selina kept her back to her, pretending to rearrange the three items in the dishwasher. She didn’t want Kate to see the disappointment on her face.
The evening before had been a shock for Selina. She’d somehow gone from wanting Kate gone from her business car park at any cost, to being horrified at the thought of the woman out on the cold streets at night.
Last night she’d hovered on the edge of panic, knowing full well that she would have searched every square inch of Parbrook until she’d located Kate. Even if it had taken her all night.
“I appreciate your offer, it’s very kind of you,” Kate added, obviously assuming Selina’s silence was steeped in anger.
She stood up and faced Kate, plastering a smile onto her face as she did. “Of course, I understand. The offer is there, but you have to do what you feel is right for you.” She looked at her watch. “I’m planning to do some work from home and then go
into the office late. If you want to shower and get ready, we can go in together at, say, eleven?”
“Are you sure you didn’t bribe someone to get me the job?” Kate joked.
“Don’t ask questions you won’t like the answer to.” Selina winked. She turned and started to walk towards her bedroom.
“Selina?!” Kate shouted.
“Of course I didn’t. I learn from my mistakes!” Selina called back. She entered her bedroom and closed the door behind her.
Selina wasn’t skilled in this kind of situation. Her job involved her identifying a problem and putting all possible resources into fixing that problem as quickly as possible. That simply wasn’t possible with Kate. Kate was fiercely independent and strong-willed. Maddeningly so.
She’d tossed a variety of ideas over in her mind all morning. She kept coming back to the same thing: in order to help Kate, she needed to allow her the freedom to grow and develop on her own.
Selina needed to respect that.
Even if she hated it.
A Casual Lifeline
“How are you with computers?”
“I’m good with them,” Kate replied.
Ivor Robinson’s face beamed at the news. He was the manager of the post room of Nicholas Addington and Sons and was well over retirement age. If Kate were to guess, the tiny man in front of her was undoubtedly in his seventies.
He wore a suit and a tie, despite the other six members of the post room staff all wearing casual clothes. His thinning grey hair was slicked back, and he wore thick glasses. He looked like a kindly grandfather figure, and everyone she’d met so far in the post room seemed to like and respect him.
She’d driven in with Selina that morning and was quickly introduced to the HR manager who took her through some standard paperwork. Within an hour she was in the post room being introduced to her new work colleagues.
It was a bit disorientating considering just six hours ago she had lain awake in bed thinking that she would soon be back on the streets with no prospects.
Now, suddenly, she was working in an office. She’d wanted to decline Selina’s offer, but it was too good an opportunity to pass up. Kate wanted to be in control of her own destiny, but she recognised when it was time to accept a little assistance. Even if it did come from Selina.