by A. E. Radley
“Of course, why wouldn’t it be?” Selina frowned.
“It’s a chain restaurant,” she whispered. She said the word “chain” in much the same way someone might say the word “sewer,” presumably thinking Selina was above such things.
Selina looked over her own menu at Kate and smiled. It had taken Kate fifteen minutes to decide on a restaurant. Selina had eaten at most of them multiple times and had no preference at all in where they ate. All she wanted was for Kate to be comfortable.
After she’d gotten together the courage to ask her on a date the night before, she’d spent twenty-four hours fretting about it. Taking the leap and letting her feelings be displayed was terrifying. It was also an eye-opening experience for her.
Securing a date confirmed that Kate was interested in her, something that Selina hadn’t truly allowed herself to consider before. Now that she’d passed that first tricky hurdle, she allowed herself to realise how invested she was in the date going well.
“Being a chain presumably means they are doing something right,” Selina replied. “Don’t worry, I have eaten in chain restaurants before. I’ve even eaten fast food.”
“You’ve never had McNuggets,” Kate said matter-of-factly.
“I did once. In Tenerife, so I’m not sure if that counts.”
“You went to McDonald’s in Tenerife?” Kate laughed.
“Well, I didn’t go there for the McDonald’s. But, yes. I was starving, it was the middle of the day, so the locals were snoozing their life away. But I’m more likely to have a burger than chicken when it comes to fast food.”
Kate looked pleasantly surprised. “There’s a lot I don’t know about you, isn’t there?”
“Fifty-two years’ worth,” Selina mumbled, returning her attention to her menu.
Kate’s outstretched hand lowered her menu a couple of inches. Selina looked up and met her eyes.
“Hey, I don’t care about the age thing,” Kate said. “If you do, then you need to tell me now or get over it.”
Selina didn’t want the date to be over before it began. She knew they needed to have this conversation. Kate was right. They needed to talk about it now and get it out of the way. If they could.
“I’m twice your age.” Selina lowered her menu to the table.
Kate put her own menu down. “Okay.”
“Okay? Is that all you have to say?”
Kate sipped at her drink, a non-alcoholic cocktail which Selina had convinced her to order when her eyes had lit up at the flavour combination and a frown had emerged at the cost.
“I suppose I just don’t get your issue with it,” Kate explained. “Do you think I’m too young or that you’re too old?”
Selina stumbled on that point for a moment. She hadn’t really thought about it. She just knew she was more than twice Kate’s age, which seemed horrendous, though she couldn’t quite pinpoint why.
“I… don’t know.”
“Do you think I’m immature?” Kate asked.
“No, absolutely not.”
“Do you think you’re ancient?” A ghost of a grin at the deliberate poke.
“No,” Selina said through a smile.
“Are you interested in me?” Kate asked.
Selina swallowed. It was time to go all in and be honest. She’d been holding back, afraid of getting hurt. Now wasn’t the time to be afraid. She’d had time to consider her actions and reactions toward Kate over the last six months. She knew the truth, even if she’d only recently admitted them to herself.
“Very,” she confessed.
“Do you think that I’m not interested in you? Maybe because of your age?” Kate fished.
Selina’s mouth felt suddenly dry, and she reached for her wine glass. Kate had cut right through to the core of her issue, an issue she hadn’t even realised herself. But now she knew that was at least one of her concerns about the large age gap between them.
Her delayed response was all Kate needed. She reached over the table and took Selina’s free hand in hers, holding it softly and rubbing her thumb across the back of it.
“You’re my type,” Kate reassured. “I like mature women. I’ve drooled over them in movies and magazines my whole life, even when I wasn’t sure what gay meant. I’m not your typical twenty-five-year-old, I’m more mature in my outlook. If I’m honest with myself, you impressed me right away. Even when I thought you were a bitch, I thought you were a hot bitch.”
Selina laughed. “Thank you, I think.”
“You’re welcome.” Kate winked. She took a deep breath before continuing. “The point is, you’re insanely attractive to me, Selina Hale. If your only concerns about us are our difference in age and whether or not I’m attracted to you, then you need to put those worries to one side.” Kate swallowed and retracted her hand. “That was very difficult for me to confess to, so please don’t say anything mean just now.”
Selina’s heart raced. She hadn’t expected Kate to be so honest. So far, their conversation had been light-hearted, but suddenly things had turned very serious. She didn’t want to mess things up. The thought of hurting Kate making her feel physically sick.
“I…” She trailed off. Her desire to smooth things out as efficiently as possible had led her to speaking before she found the right words to say. She closed her mouth and took a couple more moments to order her thoughts.
“I never thought of you in that way,” Selina admitted. “At first I was too busy getting you out of my car park. After that I just wanted to see you safe. You went from being a problem to being someone I cared about without me really noticing or understanding why. I didn’t allow myself to view you as a potential partner as I did believe we were mismatched, mainly because of my age.”
She cleared her throat. She wasn’t used to explaining herself or placing her heart on her sleeve.
“You’re beautiful, Kate. Only a fool wouldn’t see that. But beyond that, you’re intelligent, kind, generous, and some strange people might even say you’re funny.”
Kate chuckled, a hint of a blush still on her cheeks from the previous compliments.
“And you don’t take any of my nonsense, which I enjoy,” Selina admitted. “And… I think I’m out of things to say without resorting to sarcasm,” she finished, feeling strangely shy and exposed.
“You did well,” Kate said. She picked up her menu. “I’m having pizza.”
Selina let out a breath of relief. They’d traversed the awkward part of the evening, and Kate was steering them to safer topics. “I’m having a salad,” she said. She picked up her own menu and looked at the offerings.
“A salad?” Kate groaned. “I can’t sit here with a greasy pizza if you’re going to have a salad.”
Selina gestured to her figure. “This demands a salad. At around thirty-five your body will decide to keep fifty percent of the calories you consume and install them in your stomach, thighs, and chin. I recommend you eat the pizza while you can.”
Kate grinned. “Will you have a bite of pizza? Just a small one?”
Selina made a show of considering it for a few seconds. In actual fact the idea of a bite of pizza was heavenly. She never ordered one and had no one to steal a mouthful from, so the idea of tasting the deliciously fattening food sent her heart soaring.
“I suppose, if it makes you happy.”
“Nice try, I saw your eyes light up like a Christmas tree,” Kate said.
Selina gestured to the waiter that they were ready to order, not wanting to give Kate the opportunity to gloat anymore. She had to confess; it was nice to be with someone who could see right through her.
“How’s work?” she asked Kate as the waiter took their menus away.
“It’s good. Really good. Passed my probation, put a lot of new initiatives in place.”
“You enjoy it?”
Kate nodded. “I really do. Thank you for convincing me to take it. Even though it meant I was working for your ex… which must be really weird for you?”
> The conversation had quickly pivoted to something Selina didn’t want to discuss, but she knew it was best to address the issue.
“A little,” she admitted. “But only because I didn’t want anything to do with Carrie at the time. I knew it would be a good role for you, a good career move.”
Kate leaned a little closer, about to ask a question that had clearly been eating at her for a while. “Why do you talk about Carrie like she’s a monster? She’s one of the nicest people I know. I don’t think she could have kept an act like that going for this long.”
Selina rolled her eyes. She took another sip of wine, wishing she had something stronger.
“She is a nice person,” she admitted. “It’s just a lot easier to talk about your breakup if the person you broke up with is a demon. When you split up with someone, everyone wants to talk about it all the time. People give you advice, recommend strategies, talk about counselling or solicitors depending on their personal preferences. It’s all rather exhausting. It makes life a lot easier if you hate the person you’ve split from.”
“Ah.”
“Sounds childish, I suppose?”
“Not really,” Kate said. “Still, I’m glad you told me to talk to her about the job. It changed my life.”
Selina appreciated the neat pivot. “You’re welcome. I’m glad things are working out for you.”
“They are. It’s taken a while, and I still struggle to believe and accept it, but I have my life back. I owe that to you.”
“No, you did it all. I just pushed you in the right direction.” Selina wasn’t about to take credit for all of Kate’s hard work. If she had her way and if Kate had been a little easier to handle, she would have given the young woman a large payout to help her rebuild her life. But Kate was too proud for that. She’d worked hard to get to where she was, and she deserved every piece of praise for it.
“You did more than that,” Kate said.
“You did all the hard work,” Selina argued. “Don’t diminish what you’ve achieved. You had opportunities handed to you, but you were the one who shaped them and got where you are today.”
Kate shrugged half-heartedly. “In council accommodation. I don’t even have a full-length mirror.”
“Six months ago, you had no job and no home. Today you’re a senior operator, earning a salary, paying a subsidised amount to live in council accommodation, and presumably saving towards your own place?”
Kate nodded.
“You’ve come a long way. You worked hard, and you’ve gotten back on your feet in an extraordinary way. I’m proud of you. You should be, too.”
Kate’s eyes widened. “You’re proud of me?”
“Extremely,” Selina confessed.
Kate smiled. “You have no idea how happy that makes me.”
Selina felt a sarcastic comment bubble up her throat. She swallowed it down again. Her reaction to anything too sentimental was to make a joke, often destroying the moment in the process. It was something she needed to work on, something she was willing to work on for Kate.
“I…” Kate closed her eyes tightly for a second. Something deeply troubling seemed to be on her lips and Selina waited as patiently as she could. Her eyes flew open. “I’m still married.”
Selina let out a small sigh of relief, having expected something much worse. “I’d assumed as much. Your husband didn’t exactly go through usual channels, and the fact you’ve been living… as you have. Well, I’d put two and two together.”
“You’re okay with that?”
“I haven’t received the official paperwork from the court yet, so technically I’m still married, too.” Selina shrugged. “It is what it is. Life is rarely simple. I can help you with the paperwork if you’d like?”
“I’ve heard that completing paperwork on time isn’t a strong suit of yours,” Kate quipped.
“It is when I have the right motivation,” Selina said, her voice low as her eyes bore into Kate’s.
“Do I motivate you?” Kate asked.
“God, yes,” Selina whispered.
After the meal, Selina hadn’t been ready for the evening to end. She didn’t want to pressure Kate by inviting her back to hers or requesting an invite to Kate’s apartment. She wanted to do this right, to take things slowly and see how they progressed.
Her interest in Kate was quickly ratcheting up. Every drop of information about Kate’s past, every new insight into her preferences, every joke spilling from her lips was adding to Selina’s fascination.
She’d suggested a walk in the park. It was a warm evening, and she didn’t want to say good night just yet. Thankfully, Kate seemed to feel the same way, so they strolled around Parbrook Gardens as the sun beat out its last intense rays.
“Hey, is that the thirteenth floor of Addington’s?” Kate asked cheekily, pointing to the tall building across the road.
“Who?” Selina replied.
“Addington’s. Some shitty company,” Kate explained.
Selina gently nudged her with her shoulder. “Not ringing any bells.”
“That’s the spirit,” Kate said. “Do you know what you’ll do next?”
“I have a few ideas. I’ve had some phone calls now that news of my departure has gotten out. A couple of offers.”
“That’s great news,” Kate enthused.
“I’m not so sure,” she admitted.
“No?”
“No. I’ve come to realise that I might not be the right kind of person for that environment. I’m good at my job, but it consumes me. I feel it might be time for a change, maybe consider consultancy. Do what I’m good at, but not be buried in the firm I’m working for. Have the ability to go home at the end of the day and not worry about what the boss thinks.”
“Because you’ll be the boss,” Kate surmised. “That sounds like a great idea.”
“I’m thinking it over. Might be a nice change of pace, give me more time for other things.”
“Taking up skydiving, eh?” Kate asked.
“No, something far more thrilling. I’ve started dating again.”
“Sounds intriguing, what’s she like?”
Selina chuckled. “She’s beautiful, inside and out. Too good for me, but I’m on my best behaviour to try to convince her to give me a chance, despite the obvious flaws in my personality.”
“Sounds like you’re serious about her,” Kate said softly.
“I am.” Selina stood in front of her, stopping their meandering around the flowerbeds. “May I kiss you?”
Kate blinked in surprise.
Selina wanted to kick herself. “I’m sorry, it’s too soon. Forget I said that.”
“No! No, I just… I’ve never been asked for permission before. It surprised me.”
“Consent is important,” Selina said.
“Asking for consent is hot as hell,” Kate corrected. “And my answer is yes, you may.”
Selina took a step closer and softly cupped Kate’s cheek. She lowered her lips to Kate’s and tenderly placed a kiss on them. It was gentle, a caress of the lips, a promise of more to come but a signal that slow was not only acceptable, also welcomed.
Thoughts of the thirteenth floor were obliterated from her brain. Her single-mindedness had a new goal, to live a happy and fulfilled life. Hopefully, it would be one that included the incredible woman she was lucky enough to have found.
THE END
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