by Sandi Lynn
“Fuck.”
I was torn up inside. I honestly didn’t think this would go on this long. I headed over to Rudy’s and sat down at the bar. Just as Hanna set down my drink, I received a text message from my mother.
“You need to come to the townhouse now. We need to have a family meeting.”
“I’m on my way.”
I downed my drink and threw some cash on the bar.
“That’s all you’re having?” Hanna asked.
“Gotta run. My mother has summoned me.”
“Good luck!” She smiled.
I walked up the steps to the townhouse just as Nathan pulled up in a cab.
“Bro, wait,” he called out.
I stopped and looked at him.
“What do you think is going on?” he asked.
“I don’t know, but I’m worried. Something is obviously wrong and to be honest, I can’t take anything else right now.”
“I’m sure everything is okay. It’s probably just Mom overreacting about something.” He hooked his arm around me.
When we opened the door, we saw my mother and Elijah in the living room.
“Hello, boys. I have your drinks ready for you.” She held up two glasses of scotch.
I looked at Elijah as he sat on the couch with his drink in his hand.
“Mom, what is going on?” I asked.
Sit down. Both of you.
She took in a deep breath, and I could tell she was scared about something.
“Someone is here to see you and I want all of you to remain calm.”
“Who is it, Mom?” Nathan asked.
“It’s me, son,” I heard a familiar voice from behind.
The three of us turned around and I couldn’t believe my eyes.
“Jack? Oh my God, I’ve been looking for you,” I said.
“Boys, this is Jack Dawson—”
“Our father,” Elijah spoke through gritted teeth.
“What?!” Both Nathan and I exclaimed at the same time.
“Boys.” Jack put his hands up. “I know how this must seem.”
“Are you fucking kidding me?!” I shouted as I stood up.
“Mason, sit down and let him explain,” my mother spoke.
“Let him explain?” Nathan scowled. “Explain what? We don’t owe this asshole anything, let alone our time.”
“He’s right. Let’s get the fuck out of here,” Elijah said as he stood up. “I can’t believe you,” he shook his head at our mother.
“I said to sit your asses down!” she screamed. It was a scream and a tone I’d never heard come from her before. “I am your mother and you will do as I say, regardless of your age! Do you understand me!”
Shit. I thought she was going to pull out a wire hanger. That was exactly how she sounded. The three of us looked at her in shock and slowly sat back down. Jack walked over and took a seat in the chair across from us.
“First, I know this is a tremendous shock to you, and I wasn’t planning on doing this. Confronting you, that is. But, after talking to Sara, she made a lot of sense.”
“Sara? What the fuck does she have to do with this?” I scowled.
“I came into her ER last week because I’m sick. She admitted me and we talked.”
I was pissed as hell she lied to me.
“What’s wrong with you?” Nathan asked.
“Who the fuck cares,” Elijah spoke as he finished his drink. When he went up to get another, my mother told him to sit down, and she brought the bottle of scotch to him.
“I’m dying. I don’t want your sympathy and I don’t want your pity.”
“Don’t worry. You’re not getting any of it from us,” I said.
“I know you hate me, and I don’t blame you. I hate me.”
“I doubt that very much,” Elijah spoke.
“What are you dying from?” Nathan asked.
“I was diagnosed with stage three pancreatic cancer. I had surgery and then went through a few rounds of chemo, but it didn’t stop the spreading into one of my lymph nodes. They gave me about six months to live. Now, I’m in stage four and the cancer has spread to my liver, stomach and lungs. I have about three months tops.”
“Is that why you came here?” Elijah asked. “Because you’re dying and you’re looking for something from us?”
“I want nothing from you, Elijah. All I wanted was to see how well you all were doing.”
“Now you’ve seen, so you can get the hell out of here!” Elijah spewed.
Chapter 36
Mason
I felt betrayed. Betrayed again by the man I despised the most. I befriended him, helped him, and this whole time, he never told me who he really was.
“Elijah’s right. You can get the hell out of here now,” I said.
“Boys, that’s enough,” my mother spoke.
“Really, Mom?” I narrowed my eye at her. “Have you forgotten what he did to you, to us? The pain he caused you for so many years. Your views on relationships which trickled down to us and the way we lived our lives.”
“No. I haven’t forgotten. But he is dying, and everyone is entitled to a dying wish, and his wish was to see how his sons grew into wonderful young men.”
“How do we even know he’s telling the truth?” Elijah said. “He could be lying because he wants something.”
“I understand your lack of belief, son.”
“Do not call me that!” Elijah shouted.
“You can ask Dr. Davis anything you want. She has all my medical records. And before you go off and get all pissy with her, Mason, I threatened her if she told you about who I was and what was wrong. She couldn’t tell you anything because of doctor patient confidentiality. Ask your mother and your brother. There’s something else. I have another condition and it’s been a real struggle and something I’ve had to fight against the past thirty years. I have bi-polar disorder. That is the reason I walked out on you. I left you boys and your mother, because I loved you. Leaving you was the best thing I could do, and I don’t regret it at all.”
“You’re a sick bastard if you think what you did was right,” Elijah spoke through gritted teeth. “Leaving your family and causing all kinds of pain.”
“The pain you felt was nothing compared to what you would have felt if I had stayed.”
“Did you know about this, Mother?” I asked.
“No.” She shook her head. “He never told me he was sick.”
“You must have had a clue at some point.” Nathan yelled.
“Knowing what I do now, the things that happened and his behavior make more sense.”
“The day I left, I went to Alaska, found a doctor there and got the help I needed. But it was hard to control, and it took many years before I could feel normal again. Your lives would have been ruined if I stayed, and that wasn’t a chance I was willing to take. I knew your mother would take great care of you and make sure you were raised the right way. That was something I couldn’t have promised.”
“I’m not sitting here and listening to anymore of this,” Elijah said as he stood up.
“Elijah,” my mother spoke.
“No, Mother.” He pointed his finger at her. “I’ve had enough. I remember that day you found his note. I remember it as if it were yesterday.” He grabbed his suit coat and left.
“The last thing I wanted to do was cause you more pain,” Jack spoke as he stared at me and Nathan.
“It’s a little too late for that, don’t you think?” Nathan spoke as he got up from the couch and walked over to our mother. “I love you, Mom, but I’m leaving,” he spoke as he kissed her on the cheek.
“I guess I better get going too,” Jack said as he rose from his chair. “I’ve done enough damage to this family. Thank you, Caitlin, for giving me this chance to talk to them. Mason, you are one hell of a fine young man and I’m proud of you. I’m real happy I got the chance to know you.” He gave me a slight nod and walked out the door.
I stared at my mother as she sigh
ed, took a seat next to me and grabbed my hand.
“He needed to set himself free. Maybe we need to do the same.”
I kissed her cheek and headed home. Stepping into the apartment, I headed straight to Sara’s room. She was the one person I needed the most right now. Lightly knocking on her door, I slowly opened it to find she wasn’t there. She should have been home by now. I went over to the hospital and asked Kylie, a nurse I’ve known for years, if Sara was still there.
“She’s sleeping in the on-call room.”
“Isn’t her shift over?” I asked.
“Yeah. She said she’s staying tonight because she has to be back here at six a.m.”
“Thanks, Kylie.”
Placing my hands in my pockets, I walked out of the ER. Since we’d been living together, she had never spent the night at the hospital. I guess she was doing anything she could to stay as far away from me as possible.
I could barely get out of bed. Between Jack and Sara, I felt as if my life was spinning out of control and I didn’t know how to stop it. I didn’t have to be back to work until tomorrow, so I got dressed and headed over to the hotel to talk to Jack. Taking the elevator up to his room, I knocked on the door. There was no answer, so I went down to the lobby.
“May I help you?” the girl behind the desk asked.
“I’m looking for Jack Dawson. I just went up to his room, and he didn’t answer.”
“Mr. Dawson checked out early this morning. Are you Mason Wolfe?” she asked.
“Yes.”
“Mr. Dawson left this for you in case you came by.”
She handed me a white envelope with all of our names on it.
“Thank you.”
I walked out of the hotel and down the street, holding the envelope in my hand. I didn’t know what to do. Did I open it now or did I wait until I was with Nathan and Elijah? I grabbed a coffee and went to Central Park. As I sat on the bench with my coffee in one hand, I stared at the envelope in my other. Fuck it. I opened the envelope and took out the cream-colored folded paper.
Dear Sons,
I hope this letter finds its way to you, and if it does, that means I’ll be gone when you’re reading this. I know nothing I can say will erase the past and the hurt and betrayal that I’ve caused you boys and your mother. I told you why I had to leave all those years ago and I know you will never be able to understand. Being in the same room with the three of you last night was truly a dream come true for me. You have no idea how much I wanted to do that over the years but never had to the courage to face you after what I’d done. All I wanted was to see my boys fully grown as men, and I never intended to disrupt your lives. I hope that one day, you can find it in your hearts to forgive me. Not because I deserve to be forgiven, but for your own peace. I’ve lived the past thirty years unable to forgive myself for abandoning you, but after seeing you all and how you’ve grown into such fine young successful men, I can finally forgive myself for making the right decision, whether you believe it was the wrong one. I don’t know where I’m going when I leave here, but wherever I end up, I know I will finally be at peace. I hope you will do the same to find peace in your hearts and put the past and me to rest. Whether you believe me or not, I love each and every one of you, just like I have since the day you were born. Take care of yourselves, your family and most of all, take care of your mother.
Love,
Jack
I sighed as I folded the paper and tears filled my eyes. Pulling out my phone, I sent a text message to Nathan.
“What time are you going to be home tonight?”
“My last flight gets in around six, so I should be home around eight. Why?”
“We need to meet at Mom’s. Just head there after work.”
“Why? We were just there last night.”
“Jack is gone, and he left a letter. Just be there.”
“Fine. I’ll see you later.”
I sent a text message to Elijah.
“Meet at Mom’s tonight at eight o’clock.”
“Why?”
“Jack is gone, and he left a letter.”
“Good, and I don’t care.”
“For fuck’s sakes, bro. Just fucking be there. I’ll let Mom know we’re coming.”
“I’ll see if I can be there. I’m not making any promises.”
I sat there and shook my head as I dialed my mother.
“Hello, darling.”
“Mom, we’re all meeting at your house tonight at eight. Jack is gone, and he left a letter.”
“I know.” She sighed. “I’ll see you then.”
Chapter 37
Sara
I was sitting in the cafeteria having lunch when I looked up and saw Mason standing there.
“What are you doing here?” I asked with a sigh.
“I need to talk to you about Jack.”
“Mason, I—”
“I know about him, Sara. I know he’s my father and I know he’s dying. He was at my mother’s house last night and so were me and my brothers. I wanted to talk to you last night, but Kylie said you were sleeping in the on-call room and I didn’t want to wake you.”
“Sit down.” I motioned.
“He told us everything. Now he’s left town and left this letter for us.” I slid the paper across the table.
She picked it up and read it.
“Why are you showing me this?”
“Because I think if it wasn’t for you, he never would have revealed himself and he would have left town and we never would have known. And I want you to know that I’m not mad at you for not telling me. I understand why you couldn’t.”
“Really? Aw, that makes me feel better,” she spoke with sarcasm. “I’m happy he told you. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to get back down to the ER.”
“How long are you going to stay pissed at me?” he asked.
“I’m not pissed at you, Mason. I’m hurt. Instead of telling me how you felt, you just out of the blue said I’m done with you.” I got up from the table and walked away.
“I’m sorry about that. Maybe I did it the wrong way. Hell, is there even a right way? Because either way, I still would have hurt you.”
“And that’s on me,” I said as I pushed the button to the elevator. “I let my guard down and I trusted you.”
He grabbed hold of my arm, pulled me into one of the empty rooms and shut the door.
“What the hell are you doing?”
“I was up front with you from the start. In fact, we were both up front with each other. Then you told me you loved me, and it freaked me the fuck out. Not to mention that you fucking told my family about us and our arrangement.”
“I didn’t have a choice,” I spoke through gritted teeth. “Your mother and sisters are all lawyers and they tricked me. When did I tell you I loved you?”
“That night after I brought you home.”
“When I was drunk?” I laughed. “And you actually believed me?”
“People tend to tell the truth when alcohol is involved.”
“Okay. So what? My bad. I thought we had something special, something different. But I was stupid to believe you could ever love me back.”
“Sara, you’re not stupid. You’re one of the smartest people I know. It’s just—” he rubbed the back of his neck.
“Don’t Mason. Don’t humiliate me than you already have.”
I opened the door and walked out as I could feel the tears stinging my eyes.
“Sara, wait!” I heard him yell.
After my shift was over, I didn’t want to go home, so I texted Aspen and asked her if I could come over. She told me to come and that she’d have the wine and cookie dough ready for when I got there.
“Hey, how are you?” She gave me a hug when I stepped off the elevator.
“I’m okay.”
“Your face tells me otherwise.” She smirked as she led me into the kitchen.
“Hey, Sara,” Elijah spoke.
“Hi, Elijah.”
“I’m glad you’re here. I have a question for you. Jack said that you have all his medical records. Everything he said was true?”
“Unfortunately.”
“So aside from his terminal cancer, he is bi-polar?”
“Yes. When he left New York and went to Alaska, he checked himself into a psychiatric facility for almost a year. He’s been on a range of medication ever since.”
“Thanks.” He kissed my cheek. “I have to run. Apparently, he left town and a letter that I need to go read with my brothers.”
“Mason stopped by the hospital today and showed me the letter. I’m sorry, Elijah. Maybe I shouldn’t have talked him into telling you boys.”
“You’re a good person and you did the right thing. Is everything cool now between you and my brother?”
“No. Not at all.”
He placed his hand on my shoulder. “He’s battling his own demons just like me and Nathan did. Give him some time.”
I gave him a small smile and a nod while he kissed Aspen goodbye and stepped onto the elevator.
“Come on, let’s sit down. I was going to have us bake cookies, but I think maybe we should just eat the dough, have some wine and girl talk.” Aspen smiled.
“Sounds like a plan,” I spoke as I sat down.
Chapter 38
One Week Later
Mason
The night we all met at our mother’s and read the letter, was the night that we put our past to rest. Jack was gone and there was nothing we could do. Elijah had the hardest time coming to terms that he had walked back in our lives for a brief time, but he accepted it and we all agreed to move on. I thought the person who would take it the hardest would be my mother, but she was fine. She had Tommy to get her through it, Elijah had Aspen, and Nathan had Allison. I was left to deal with it alone, and I had no one to blame but myself. I was too scared to tell Sara how I felt about her, so instead, I pushed her away. It’s what I’d always done. The only time I ever felt brave in life was when I was inside a burning building. But it was time for me to grow up and make things right between us. I missed her. I missed our relationship, her smile, the sex, and the way she’d steal my potato chips and lie about it after I’d find the empty bag in her room. I was in love with her and it was time I told her. I had realized I could no longer allow my past to control my future.