It’s like I don’t even exist in my child’s eyes when Luke’s here. My son craves male one-on-one time and Luke seems more than willing to fulfil that obligation.
I lean against the door frame and watch the two of them making ‘vroom vroom’ noises with toy cars and laughing together gleefully.
My heart is so full in this moment, that I instantly feel guilty for not missing Troy.
I do my best to push the feeling back down deep. This feeling of contentment isn’t for me – it’s for Joe. He’s the one with a full life.
He doesn’t even know that he’s missing out on anything, and if that’s the only thing I can give him as a parent, then I’ll be happy.
***
I glance over at the handsome man sitting at my kitchen table.
Joe has been down for about half an hour, after two bed time stories and three cuddles from Luke, so now it’s just the two of us.
I’ve known Luke for a long time now, but there are still so many things about him that I don’t understand at all.
One of which is why he’s here when he could be out having a life. A real life where he meets people and has adventures. A life where I’m not holding him back.
“What?” he asks me curiously as I stare at him.
He’s gorgeous, he really is, and he’s kind, sweet and genuine… any woman would be mad not to snap him up.
“Why don’t you date? I’ve seen the way those single mums eye you up when you mow the lawns at school. You’ve been back two years and I don’t think I’ve ever seen you with a woman.”
He shrugs and takes a sip of the one and only beer he’ll drink tonight. “I guess I’m not really interested.”
I resist the urge to roll my eyes. “Why not?”
He’s a heterosexual male. Of course he’s interested in women.
I want him to find someone to share his life with, I do, but I’m not stupid enough to think that we could still have him the same way if he were to get married and have his own children.
I’m not sure I’m ready to give him up just yet. I might never be if I’m being honest.
I know Joe certainly isn’t willing to let him go.
He sits down his bottle and gives me a look that makes me feel uncomfortable. It’s got an edge of intensity to it that I’m not accustomed to seeing in his eyes. It’s like he’s seeing me – really seeing me.
“I’ve got everything I need already,” he answers simply.
I shuffle my weight from foot to foot. I feel off kilter and I don’t know why. Luke is the only person I feel one hundred percent comfortable with these days.
I laugh nervously. “You don’t want to be alone forever, Luke.”
He leans forward and rests his elbows on the table. “Neither do you, Mia.”
I restlessly wring the tea towel I’m holding in my hands.
I’m stuck for words. There’s something in the air I can’t place. He’s looking at me differently than he normally does.
“And besides…” he says after a few beats of awkward silence. “I’m not alone, I’ve got you and Joe.”
I can feel the thumping of my heart in my chest, but I have no idea why the rate of it is increasing.
This is Luke.
Sure, he’s gorgeous, smart, funny and kind. But he’s Luke.
My Luke.
The thought crosses my mind and it’s not until it has that I realise I do think of him as mine. I’ve claimed him these past two years, but not in the way he deserves a woman to.
He deserves so much more than being babysitter to his best friend’s widow and their son. He deserves real love and someone to share his life with.
I know I should step back from his life, and let him free to live it, but I can’t seem to make my mouth say the words.
Instead, I duck my gaze and quietly reply. “And we’ve got you too.”
I hear him push his chair out and get to his feet.
“You wash, I’ll dry,” he says, taking the towel from my hands.
I peek up at him and he’s back to the Luke I know. I breathe out a breath of relief and nod at him.
I scrub the dishes and hand them to him in silence. We work alongside each other like an old married couple.
“What are you doing this weekend?” he asks when we’re nearly done.
I huff out a breath and brace myself for what I’ve been avoiding telling him. “I forgot to tell you... Robert and Everly are coming to visit.”
He groans. “Did you tell them to book a hotel this time?”
I scrunch up my nose and shake my head at him.
“Mia,” he moans. “You can’t keep doing this to yourself.”
“I know. But I couldn’t say no. You know how they are.”
“I know exactly how they are, and that’s why I don’t want them coming in here and upsetting you.”
“It’s only two nights this time,” I reply quietly. Not that that’ll make a difference. Two nights with Troy’s parents is two nights too many as far as I’m concerned.
I’m such a complete sucker.
I know they’ve been through a lot – no parent should have to bury their child – but it’s no excuse for the way they behave towards me now, over two years on.
I don’t know what goes through Everly’s head, but whatever it is, it’s not pleasant.
She seems to resent me for being here when her son isn’t. It’s messed up.
Every visit from the two of them results in me crying on Luke’s shoulder long after they’ve gone, so I understand his frustration at my weakness. It can’t be easy for him to pick up the pieces, over and over again.
I just don’t know how to tell my in-laws that they’re not welcome in their own son’s house.
“When do they arrive?”
“Saturday morning.”
“I’ll come over to act as a buffer,” he says with a sigh.
I’m so grateful for his offer. I know he’s about as fond of the two of them as I am – perhaps even less. Where they seem to resent me, they appear to blame Luke for their son’s death.
I know I should say no, tell him that I’ll be fine – but I know I won’t. Every minute that he’s here is a minute I don’t have to spend alone with the ice queen and her loyal lap dog. But even if they weren’t totally awful, I’m not sure I’d ever turn down more time with Luke.
“Thank you,” I whisper.
“Anytime, Mia,” he replies.
CHAPTER FOUR
Luke
I wake to the sound of my phone ringing loudly.
I reach blindly for my cell and swipe at the screen to answer it.
“Hello?” I say groggily. The ringing doesn’t stop. I look at the screen of the phone. That’s because this is not what’s ringing.
I scrub at my face and flick on the light.
It’s my landline ringing.
I glance at the clock. It’s two in the freaking morning.
I blink against the harsh light in confusion.
No one calls me on my landline.
No one except Mia.
I reach for the phone at lightning speed. I’m suddenly wide awake and filled with fear.
“Mia?” I answer even though I’ve got no proof it’s her – I just know.
“Luke, it’s me,” she replies in a hushed tone.
She’s scared – terrified even. I can tell just from those three words.
“What is it, sweetheart?” My words come out in a panicked rush.
I reach for my jeans and start pulling them on. I can’t explain it, but I know she needs me – urgently.
Ice slides through my veins as she replies in a whisper. “I think there’s someone trying to get into the house.”
“Have you got your cell?” I demand.
“I’m on it now.”
“Can you get to Joe?”
“I’m already in his room,” she whispers.
“Push his dresser in front of the door and don’t open it until you hear my voice, you g
ot it, Mia?”
“Okay,” she whispers, and I can hear the tremble in her voice.
“Do it now, Mia, okay? I’m coming, sweetheart. I’ll be right there.”
I’m already halfway out the door – my portable land line still in my hand.
“The phone is going to cut off, okay, I’ve got my cell.”
“Luke,” she pleads, and it damn near breaks my heart.
“I’m comin–”
The line goes dead, and I slam the door shut on my truck and back down the drive faster than I ever have before.
Mia only lives a block and a half away, but right now it seems like too far.
If something happens to her or Joe, I’ll never forgive myself.
I fly down the street, ignoring every speed and road rule as I do.
I stop a few houses down from Mia’s and slip out the door, closing it as quietly as I can behind me. If there’s someone there, the last thing I want is for them to get away.
Whoever it is, they’re going to pay for messing with the wrong woman – my woman.
Because she’s mine to protect now, and I know damn well that I’d kill for Mia Vander if I had to.
I creep down the street in the darkness, my ears on high alert for anything out of place.
The front of the house is clear, but I’m not surprised; if I was going to break into a place, I sure as shit wouldn’t go in through the front.
I stick to the fence line, lurking in the shadows.
I nearly reach the back of the house when I hear the noise that must have woken Mia. It’s an awful noise, the sound of metal rubbing against metal.
I peek around the side of the house.
I can’t make out anything other than the shape of two bodies in the moonlight.
They’re murmuring to one another, but I can’t hear what they’re saying. They aren’t big guys – at a guess I’d say they were only young men, maybe even teenagers.
“Got it,” I think I hear one of them say.
Not today, Satan.
I take a deep breath and I’m about to charge in there like a bull in a china shop when my phone rings, loud and shrill from my pocket.
It’s Mia. I know that already. She’s panicking.
“Run!” one of the assholes yells to the other.
I fly around the side of the house, my phone still ringing.
I can see where they’re heading, over the back fence.
I’m chasing after them, when the loud ringing reminds me of the terrified woman in the house who needs me far more than I need to satisfy my urge of beating the shit out of those guys.
I stop in my tracks and I pull my phone out, which has stopped ringing now, and dial for the police – I give them the essential details and hang up.
These lowlifes have got the window wide open back here and for all I know, there wasn’t just the two of them – there could be someone inside too.
I unlock the back door with my key and slip inside the house, doing my best to be quiet.
I creep through the hallway, checking each room as I go.
I can’t hear or see anything at all out of place.
I’ve nearly decided that it’s all clear when I hear the sound of feet on the staircase.
I push forward in the darkness, Mia and Joe are up there, and I’ll be cold and dead before I let something happen to either of them.
I linger at the bottom, hiding in the shadows. Whoever I can hear, they’re coming down.
I crouch low to the ground, ready to hurl myself at the invader.
They reach the bottom of the stairs and just stand there, unmoving.
I leap out and grab the person from behind, pinning their hands to their sides.
I was right. These are nothing but kids. This dude is tiny.
A loud sob rips through the air at the same time as the familiar smell wafts past my nose.
“Mia?” I whisper.
“Oh my god, Luke,” she chokes out.
I can feel her heart hammering against my chest.
“What the hell are you doing down here, Mia? For Christ’s sake, I could have hurt you. I told you to stay put.”
She’s still in my arms, pinned against me. Her back to my front.
“I heard your phone ringing outside... I knew you’d keep me safe,” she replies quickly.
“Fucking hell, Mia,” I growl.
The mere thought of her putting herself in harm’s way has my blood boiling.
“You’re squeezing me,” she whispers.
I know I am, but I need her close. Safe.
I reluctantly release her and feel around for the light switch on the wall.
The light comes on in the living room, throwing a soft glow out into the hallway and onto us.
I look her up and down, looking for any sign that she’s hurt.
I find no sign of injury, instead what I see is the sexiest sight I’ve ever laid eyes on.
She’s wearing this tiny pair of white boy-short underwear, and a tight black singlet top – no bra.
Her hair is all wild and unruly and her cheeks are flushed.
“Jesus, Mia,” I say, and this time it has nothing to do with her putting herself in danger.
My eyes rake greedily over her body and there’s nothing I can do to stop myself.
“Where’s Joe?” I choke out.
The only thing on my mind other than her tight little body, is her son, who I need to know is safe and well.
“He’s in bed. He’s fine. He didn’t even wake,” she reassures me.
“Wait here,” I demand as I reluctantly pull my eyes from her. “I mean it this time, Mia. Stay. Here.”
She nods quickly, her head making short, jerky motions.
I rush up the stairs and check every room, seeing for myself that Joe is in fact still sleeping soundly, before going back to the staircase.
She’s standing exactly where I left her at the bottom.
“It’s all clear,” I tell her.
She nods again. “Someone was here though, weren’t they?” There’s a tremble in her voice again that hurts me.
I hate seeing her scared.
I walk down the stairs until I’m standing right in front of her.
I nod. I could lie to make her feel safer, but I wouldn’t do that. I could never lie to Mia.
“I saw two. My phone rang, and they got spooked.”
Her eyes are as wide as saucers and I see the exact moment that she freaks out.
She sways, but I catch her before she can fall. I’ll always be there to catch her before she falls.
“Shhhh,” I tell her as I tug her against my body. “It’s okay, I’m here, you’re safe. Joe is fine.”
Her hands snake around my waist and fist my shirt. “Luke.” She sobs.
“Shhhh.”
I rub slow circles on her back and stroke her hair gently.
I feel her take a deep, steadying breath and I kiss the top of her blonde hair.
She sniffs, once, twice and then looks up at me, but doesn’t let go.
“I’m sorry.”
“There’s nothing to be sorry for,” I say, because it’s true. There’s nothing for her to apologise for.
“I can’t keep using you like this, Luke.”
“You’re not using me,” I reassure her.
There’s a stray strand of hair that’s found its way across her forehead, and I run my hand up her face and brush it off.
The movement is slow, sensual and deliberate.
I know I’m teetering on the edge of dangerous territory right now.
I’ve got a half-dressed Mia – the woman I’ve fallen head over heels in love with when I shouldn’t have – in my arms, and I’m touching her face.
“You shouldn’t have to keep saving me,” she whispers.
Her voice sounds hoarse, and I let myself believe for a moment that maybe she feels this thing between us too. That it’s not just all in my mind.
I run my thumb over her cheekbone, ou
r eyes still locked in a heated standoff.
“I’d save you every single day for the rest of my life if you needed me to, Mia,” I answer gruffly.
I tilt my head down, just a fraction, bringing our faces that tiny bit closer together.
I want to kiss her so badly it hurts, but I can’t. She’s my best friend’s wife, and even though he’s not here anymore, Mia doesn’t feel that way about me.
I’m her protector, not her lover. I couldn’t possibly be…
She runs her tongue along her bottom lip and breathes my name. “Luke.”
Her eyes are full of so much in this moment… fear, anxiousness, worry, maybe even desire…
“Mia,” I reply as my thumb drags over her full lip.
She pushes up on her tip toes, slowly, her green eyes never leaving my blue ones.
She pauses for a moment before pressing her lips to mine.
I’m so shocked I just stand there as she kisses me.
It’s the middle of the night and Mia is kissing me.
I feel like I’m in a dream – this can’t really be happening.
A knock at the front door breaks the spell cast over us and Mia pulls away abruptly.
“Oh my god, I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have—”
“Don’t,” I interrupt her. “Don’t do that. Don’t you dare apologise for that.”
She’s freaking out. I’ve gotten the closest to her that I ever have and she’s trying to take it all back – I can’t let that happen.
“But I kissed you,” she whispers, her cheeks bright red and her eyes wide.
She lets go of my shirt and steps back against the wall like she can’t get away fast enough.
“I should be the one apologising,” I growl at her as I step forward so my body is flush against hers again. “Because I didn’t kiss you first.”
I don’t give her a chance to argue again. My lips are on hers before she has time to think – time to decide that this is a bad idea.
Her hands grip my arms, and mine her jaw, as she gives in to the kiss entirely.
Our mouths move together like they’ve been doing it for years.
The knock at the door sounds again and I pull away reluctantly with a sigh against her lips.
Mr. March: A Friends to Lovers Romance (Calendar Boys Book 3) Page 2