CHAPTER TEN
Luke
I take a deep breath in through my nose and blow it out through my mouth.
I count to thirty, giving Mia plenty of time to get Joe sorted out, before storming back into the bedroom.
I’m honestly surprised Everly didn’t follow us out here, but when I lay eyes on her, it seems as though she hasn’t even realised we’ve left.
She’s screeching a string of curse words, none of which I’m about to sit back and listen to.
I’ve never, ever wanted to hit a woman before, and I know I won’t do it now either, but this one really needs a slap.
“Shut the hell up!” I roar at her.
She stops dead in her tracks and spins around to face me.
I guess she heard that.
She opens her mouth to speak, but I cut her off. She’s said enough already.
“Get out.” I point at the door. “Pack all your shit and get the fuck out of this house.”
“So you can live happily ever after with that skank? I don’t think so,” she spits back at me.
“I’m not fucking asking,” I growl in a menacing tone I didn’t even know I possessed. “You are going to pack up and get the hell out, and you won’t be coming back here – not ever again.”
“This is my son’s house,” she cries. “You can’t throw me out.”
“Not anymore it’s not,” I hiss. “Troy is gone, Everly. He’s gone. And I know that you lost a son, but are you really so blind that you can’t see what she lost? What we all lost?”
She glares at me, her face bright red from all her yelling. “It doesn’t look like she had too much trouble replacing him.”
I chuckle darkly. “It’s been over two years. What do you want from her? For her to be miserable forever like you? For her to push away anyone that cares about her like you have? Is that what you want?”
He mouth opens and closes like a fish as she tries to decide how to respond.
Robert chooses that moment to enter the room, and I mutter a curse under my breath.
“What on earth is happening in here?” He looks between his wife and me for answers.
“The two of them,” Everly sneers. “I caught them in bed together.”
I could explain that I was only in here to avoid the couch, or tell them that Mia and I haven’t slept together, but frankly, it’s none of their god damn business. They can think what they like; it’s no concern of mine.
The only thing I care about is protecting Mia and Joe.
I cross my arms across my chest and wait for him to throw in his two cents worth.
He doesn’t – he just stands there staring like the pansy he is.
“I want you gone within the hour,” I tell them both.
“You can’t kick us out of here. Who do you think you are?” Everly cries.
“I can, and I will. I’m doing this for Mia and Joe. I’m responsible for them now and I’m telling you that it’s time to go.”
“Oh, you’re responsible for them now, are you?”
I nod at her, one hard tip of my head.
“Is that what you call sleeping with your best friend’s wife?”
I know she’s trying to crack me with that, and on the inside, I feel it, but I’m not about to let her see. Instead, I smirk at her, which only angers her further.
“You two deserve each other. You’re both trash. She was never good enough for him anyway.”
“Mia didn’t kill him, Everly, so stop making her feel like it’s all her fault.”
Robert tries to take Everly’s arm, but she shakes him off. “Everly, let’s just go,” he suggests.
“You really think that’s what Troy would have wanted?” She turns her rage onto her husband, and I almost feel sorry for him… almost.
I laugh darkly. “What Troy would have wanted? Are you kidding me? You think for a second that Troy would have let you talk to Mia like this? That he wouldn’t have done exactly what I’m going to do, and thrown you out?”
She tries to cut me off but I’m not having it.
“Troy would have told you to take a flying leap, Everly. He was a good man and he loved Mia more than anything else in the world. He wouldn’t stand to see her disrespected and neither will I. He loved her, and I’ve grown to love her the same way. Now get the hell out before I decide to call the police.”
“You wouldn’t.” She gasps.
“Oh, believe me, I would.”
Robert tugs on her arm and this time she lets herself be led.
I follow them with my eyes until they’re out the door, and that’s when I see her.
Mia is sitting on the floor, just inside the door.
“How much of that did you hear?”
“Pretty much all of it,” she whispers.
“I’m sorry if I overstepped the mark. I probably shouldn’t have spoken on your behalf.”
She’s hurting, I can see that in her eyes, but she still manages a beautiful little smile, one just for me. “No – you were perfect… I couldn’t have said it better myself… thank you, Luke, you’ve always got my back.”
I nod, but deep down I don’t deserve thanking. I should have never let it get to this point. I should have intervened earlier. Everly has been looking for a reason to blow for a long time now, and I just handed her one on a platter.
“Get dressed, okay? I’ll go down and sit with Joe.”
She nods and gets to her feet.
I watch her walk slowly towards me before pushing up to her tip toes and kissing me on the cheek.
I’ve got one hell of an urge to grab her and kiss her the way I wanted to this morning before we got interrupted, but I know this isn’t the time or the place.
This was a complicated situation before, but a whole new spanner has just been thrown in the works.
I already know this is going to do no favours for the two of us. Mia is a highly emotional creature, and this will hit her hard.
She wanders over to her drawers and starts pulling out clothes.
“Mia?” I say.
She turns back to look at me.
“You’re not all of those things she called you. You’re just Mia. And you’re doing the best you can – which is amazing, Mia, you are amazing.”
She looks like she might cry, and I’m about to apologise when she smiles and whispers, “Thank you.”
***
I’m holding Joe near the door when Everly and Robert finally come downstairs, carrying their own bags this time.
“Say bye to Pop and Nan,” I tell him.
He leans his little head into my neck and offers them a small wave by way of goodbye.
Mia is right next to me, and I’m holding her hand tightly in mine – I’m worried she’ll run away if I don’t.
She’s shaking like a leaf now that Everly is back in sight, and I realise that letting Mia get away from her is exactly what I should be doing. I don’t want to let them see that they’ve rattled her.
“You want to take Joe out back? I’ll be there in a minute,” I ask her.
She nods gratefully and takes him from my arms, carrying him outside without so much as a backwards glance.
I’m so damn proud of her for being the bigger person here.
She’s too good to stoop to their level.
I open the front door and wave them through with my hand.
I wait until they’re out on the front porch until I speak again.
“This is how this is going to work from now on. If you want to come to town, you check with Mia first, and you book a hotel. You will see Joe if and when it suits Mia, and if you come into her home, you will show her the respect she deserves. You understand?” I don’t give them time to answer. “Failure to follow these rules will result in you not seeing your grandson for a very long time. Are we clear?”
I wait this time, my arms crossed across my chest and my brow raised.
Everly huffs out a breath and hisses, “Yes.”
Robert nods sadly
.
“Good,” I reply before I slam the door shut in their faces.
I’ve got nothing more to say to either of them.
I catch sight of a framed picture of Troy on the wall as I turn around. “I’m sorry, man,” I mutter. “I know they’re your folks… but it had to be done.”
I know kissing his wife is something that didn’t have to be done, but I push it out of my mind. I’m tired for feeling guilty over something that I shouldn’t.
It’s like I told his parents – he’s not coming back.
For whatever reason, he was taken from us and it’s final. It’s permanent. That’s all there is to that story.
I’m here, and so is Mia, and I can’t feel in the wrong for that any longer.
I don’t want to feel bad for living and loving anymore.
I won’t – and neither will she if I have anything to do with it.
I stride out back to find Mia and Joe.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Mia
Luke is pushing Joe in his swing, and while he’s doting on him entirely, his eyes keep seeking me out, searching for me, and watching me with an intensity I can feel all the way down to my toes.
“More!” Joe yells over and over, laughing as Luke swings him higher and higher.
I’m trying to busy myself in the garden, but I can’t focus. Luke is too distracting.
I know he wants to talk about what happened.
I also know I’m using Joe as a barrier. I’m scared. I don’t know what to do or what to say.
There was so much truth in what Everly said, and Luke and I, we’re not even a thing… not yet anyway.
I know I should end it now, before it goes even more wrong, but just the thought of the small part of him I’ve been given this past week being taken from me, threatens to break me all over again.
I’ve already lost so much, I’m not sure I can handle anything more being ripped away from me.
I hate the universe for this – for taking my husband away and then dangling his best friend in front of me like some type of carrot with a six pack.
“Mia?” His voice comes from right behind me and I jump.
“You scared me,” I murmur as I turn to face him.
I glance around and find Joe playing in the small sandpit that Luke built him last summer.
“Can we talk? I’ve let you avoid me for over an hour now.”
I smile sheepishly. “Am I that easy to read?”
“You’re like a book I’ve read a thousand times,” he replies hoarsely, and I don’t know why, but it makes me shiver.
“Come sit.” He sits himself down on the swing seat in the sun, his long legs sprawled out in front of him, and pats the tiny space left next to him.
I sigh and tug off the gloves I’ve been using to garden.
I know I can’t avoid him and this conversation forever.
I squeeze in next to him and he rests his arm around my shoulders, his thumb trailing lazily up and down my bare arm.
“I’m really sorry she talked to you like that, Luke,” I say before he has a chance to speak.
“Don’t be.” He winks at me. “It’s like water off a duck’s back.”
“Not for me,” I admit. “I just wish she’d leave us alone, you know? It’s like her sole purpose in life now is to hurt me.”
“She won’t hurt you again, sweetheart, I promise you that. I took care of it. You won’t have to deal with anything like that from them ever again.”
“I doubt she’ll just give up… she gets too much pleasure from making me miserable.”
“She can try,” he says, “But she’ll have to get through me first.”
I breathe a sigh of relief that regardless of what happens, Luke is on my team.
This is yet another thing he has taken care of for me – the list is so impossibly long now that I’ve stopped attempting to count all the things on it.
“She’s wrong, you know?” he says after a beat.
He uses his foot to push us back and forth gently on the swing seat.
“About what?”
“About all of it,” he says simply. “This is your life, Mia, and you can live it anyway you see fit. Troy would have wanted you to live… don’t let some stupid old woman stand in your way of having anything you want.”
“And what exactly is it that I want?” I whisper. The minute the words leave my lips, I’m already afraid of the answer.
“Me,” he says in a voice that is so pure and true, I’ve got no reason to doubt it.
“I wish it were that simple...” I sigh, Everly’s awful yelling still ringing in my ears.
“People fall in love, Mia. I don’t think anyone expects you to be on your own for the rest of your life.”
I haven’t been on my own though, that’s the thing – I’m not sure I can even picture my life without Luke anymore. He’s been here for everything that matters since Troy passed away. But that doesn’t make me feel any better about the idea of changing the rules of our relationship.
“I know they don’t expect me to be alone forever, but I also don’t think that anyone expects me to shack up with you either, Luke.”
“You know whose opinion I care about?” he says, utter conviction in his voice.
I bite down on my lip and wait for him to tell me.
“Yours, Mia… only yours and the few people that are welcome inside this house. That’s it – no one else matters to me, they can think whatever they like as far as I’m concerned.”
He’s right. I know deep down he is, but I’m so torn.
“It’s so hard, Luke. I feel unbelievably guilty.”
“I do too. Every single day… but nothing worth having comes easy. And you are worth having. I know that for certain. The rest will figure itself out.”
“Am I though? What if Emily hates me? What about Caleb?” I can feel my heart rate rising rapidly just thinking about what they’ll say.
“You don’t need to concern yourself with my sister, and Caleb won’t hate you, Mia. He loves you and Joe.”
“What if he hates you then?” I ask as I look up at him, knowing already that that scenario would be far worse. I couldn’t live with myself if Luke lost or gave up friends or family for me. He’s already given up more than enough.
He looks back down at me and reaches for my face, cupping my cheek in his big hand.
“It’d be worth it if I had you.” He says the words in a voice so tender it fuses little pieces of my broken heart back together again.
“You are the best thing that has ever been mine, Mia. I know we’re not together like that, but you and Joe… you’re mine. I hate that the reason is because he had to go, but that’s life, isn’t it? It’s hard. It’s tough sometimes, but right here with you… it’s worth struggling through it all.”
My heart warms, because I do feel like I’m his. We are his and he’s ours. It’s the three of us against the world.
“You’re so good to Joe and me. You do so much for us that’s not expected,” I whisper.
“I told you at Troy’s funeral – I made him a promise.”
“Is that the reason you’re here now?”
I’m asking the question even though I already know the answer. He’s not here out of obligation in the slightest – maybe he was in the beginning, but not anymore.
He shakes his head. “I’m here because I fell in love with you, Mia. I love you and Joe. I’m here because it’s up to me now to show you that you’re wanted and cared for.”
I swallow deeply, trying to push down the lump in my throat, his words are too much. He’s too much.
He makes me stronger and weaker all in the same moment.
He builds me up so I feel like I can take on the world, and then leaves me vulnerable in the very next breath.
“You are wanted, Mia. I want you like nothing else – I’ll never let you forget it.” It’s a promise coming from his lips, I feel it.
“Luke…” I whisper.
He
takes my hand in his and intertwines his fingers with mine.
“I know I’m not him, and I’m never going to be quite good enough for you, but dammit, I want you anyway. I want you to be mine in every sense of the word, even though I don’t deserve you.”
He’s laying it all out on the table, being completely honest with me – not matter how ridiculous his truths might be.
Just the thought of Luke not being good enough for me is ludicrous.
If anything, he’s too good. He’s certainly too good for me… Luke is too good for anyone.
There’s no one in the world good enough to deserve a man like Luke.
“You’re more than enough for me,” I tell him, and he smiles. He looks so handsome it literally takes my breath away.
“Tell me, Mia. Tell me what you’re caught up on and I’ll do my best to fix it.”
I love him for saying that, but the reality is, there’s some things even he can’t fix.
“Troy,” I answer with a quiver in my voice.
It’s time to share my truths with him now. It’s the least I owe him after everything he’s done for me.
“It feels like I’m replacing all the memories I have of Troy with thoughts of you, Luke. My head is so full of you that I’m scared I won’t have any space left in there for him.” I can feel my bottom lip trembling, and I know it’s not fair – what I’m saying to him – it can’t be easy for him to hear, but that’s the reality of my life, none of it is easy anymore.
“That’s not what I want to happen,” he tells me softly. “I don’t want to replace Troy, and I never could. No one can take those memories from you, Mia, not even me.”
“I just feel so confused. It’s only ever been Troy since I was seventeen years old, and now there’s you… and I don’t know what to do with that.”
Somewhere during this conversation I’ve broken eye contact and ducked my head in an attempt to hide from him. He’s still rocking us slowly, and his hand is resting on my cheek.
He presses gently, tipping my face up so I’m forced to look at him.
“I’m here, Mia, me. I can’t compete with a ghost, okay? But I can share with one… I want you to know that. I don’t want to forget Troy any more than you do. He’s a part of me too. I don’t want that to change.”
Mr. March: A Friends to Lovers Romance (Calendar Boys Book 3) Page 6