Not long after my fingers circle her clit again, her pussy pulses, making my motions a little harder, but definitely welcome as I empty myself into the condom.
She relaxes and in the aftermath of our orgasms, with our skin damp and our breaths ragged, I pull out and move to lay beside her.
A feeling of calm takes over my body as I turn my head and look at her.
That was amazing and terrifying at the same time.
And I’m not sure which was better.
The sex was unlike any sex that I’ve had in years, even while at the club. This was sensual and full of a feeling that I cannot explain.
Chapter Ten
Two weeks after our first date, we have continued to go on more dates. We have spent time at the diner, the bar and at our respective houses. She met my brother and I went to her sex toy warehouse. We’ve gotten to know one another on a deeper level and while it’s different than I’m used to, it’s good.
We’ve fucked on every surface of her house and since I live with my brother currently, have spent a lot of time in my bedroom as well.
Our sex has been amazing, but it frightens me with how much that I am enjoying vanilla relationship sex.
Carol and I have seen one another every day and even though my personal life is very preoccupied, my work feels renewed and I am no longer distracted.
But there is a small part of me that is worried that I’m changing for the benefit of another person. That man, my ego is getting lost.
Carol has a convention that she will be out of town for tonight and tomorrow night, so, I feel that this is the most opportune time for me to make sure that I’m not losing myself in a relationship. Even though I am doing something that I shouldn’t.
My car pulls into a parking space in the underground parking lot and I sit in the driver’s seat with my hands on the steering wheel. I’m looking out the windshield to the clubs reserved parking sign that is on the wall in front of the car.
One deep breath in and out, and I remove myself from the car.
I’m greeted at the front door by the hostess. I type in my information, indicate my preference for the evening and am granted entrance immediately with a smile, my boutonnière, and a nod from her. I walk through the velvet covered walls with low light, my hand trailing along until I reach the great room. I feel at home here, but a part of me feels guilty for being here and against the wishes of the verbal agreement between Carol and myself. I shake off the feeling, put it behind me and walk to the bar to put myself at ease of my guilt. I need to figure out if my relationship with Carol isn’t changing the man that I am.
The scene happening in the center of the room, is a mixture of pleasure and conversations. There are people seated around the room watching a scene and it looks like they are in deep discussions about every move that the couple in front of them are doing as if they are critiquing the performance.
I take my drink over to the end of the bar and sit on a barstool. Not long after sitting in the barstool with my back to the bar, I observe a tall leggy brunette wearing white walking directly to me. I bring my drink to my lips and take a small sip.
“Hey there, handsome, I haven’t seen you around here. Are you new to the club?” she asks playing with a string of her hair.
“No, I just haven’t been here much lately,” I say.
“Are you looking for some fun?”
I give her a look over.
While she is attractive and falls under my type of woman, she doesn’t spark any excitement in me as she trails her nail down my arm from my shoulder to the crease of my elbow. I watched her finger move silently, then look up at her with a small smile.
“While that sounds like it would be great, I’m only here tonight to get my mind straight.”
“Well, I can certainly help with that, in any way that you would like.”
“Not tonight,” I say nicely.
“Maybe some other night. I’m here every Wednesday night, names Wanda. Ask the hostess for me and I’ll make all your dreams come true.”
“Thank you, Wanda. It was a pleasure to meet you.”
I stand up and move around her, towards the back hallway which leads to the private and public screening rooms. I move past the room I usually reserve for my nights here, pause and listen as several different sounds of pleasure are echoing from behind the closed door.
I continue walking through the hallway and slow to observe the screening room scenes behind the privacy glass. I take a seat in front of the glass of a room with a threesome. Two men are penetrating a young woman standing up who looks like she is immensely enjoying herself. The men are slow with her, and you can tell that she’s thankful. She flicks out her tongue and licks the column of the man’s neck in front of her as he pistons his hips up and into her in conjunction with the man behind her who puts his hand in her hair and pulls her head back to a kiss. The scene is sexy, it’s hot and it’s generally what I use to get off when I’m at home. But it’s doing nothing for me right now. I just want to feel like I’m not becoming a boring man in a relationship and that I’ve still got my wild ways, but nothing that I’m seeing is thrilling me.
I move to the next window, which has a woman on all fours, a spotlight on her in an otherwise dark room with a cat of nine tails being run across her back from ass to neck by a man wearing leather pants, a mask and gloves.
This does nothing for me.
Never has, never will.
I prefer light flogging if anything in scenes that I’ve partaken in or have watched.
The next room has three women, taking turns on a very well-endowed man. I stop for a moment longer and watch as each woman is giving him the attention as well as themselves with their hands between their legs or one of the other women.
Still nothing.
I take a deep breath and turn around to return back to the great room. I return to the bar and ask for a water. After finishing it off, I head to the entrance to leave.
My drive back to Mercy, I’m still conflicted.
Why did nothing excite me tonight?
Is it because I’m in a relationship?
Or is it because I was simply not turned on?
Perhaps it was the night, maybe tonight wasn’t a good night at the club. It was a night that I normally wouldn’t be at the club.
I’ll have to give it another try tomorrow, to see.
Chapter Eleven
Another night in the city, two nights in a row and I still feel like nothing is doing anything for me.
I’ve observed each of the rooms and nothing has interested me. I wanted to remain silent and observe all night, so I refused participation in scenes and publicly wore the boutonnière that disclosed that I was a voyeur only tonight and didn’t want to be approached. The past few times that I’ve been here at the club, that’s been my status and then it hit me.
I was pining for Carol, before I even knew her name. Before I knew her as a person rather than just in an intimate way.
My mind begins reeling about this revelation.
I began to have feelings for her over time, and I wasn’t even aware of it.
That’s why I cannot take on another partner, that’s why nothing that I’ve come across has interested me. It’s because I’ve wanted her and only her.
Thinking back over the past several months, I was excited to come to the club on our scheduled nights. The one time that she did have to cancel, I wasn’t pleased and didn’t come to the club that night. And the fact that I was not my normal self after our last night together at the club, despite how much I wanted to move on from my arrangement with her, I couldn’t bring myself to do so. It was because of her.
My sexual appetite has never been a normal one. I’ve loved the thrill of coming to the club and having the anonymity that I have here. Creating a world where I am more than just a bar manager in a small town. Fucking beautiful women, who don’t need to know the basics or want a relationship like most women do. I like to be watched, I like to please
, and I like fucking in public at times as a reward to the women that I take. I like to role play, but I like and want it all with her, with Carol.
But the thought of doing all of those things with someone other than Carol disgusts me. I want to do all those things with her and only her.
There is nothing wrong with the life that she and I have been living back in Mercy as an actual couple. We’re in a relationship and maybe we just need to switch things up a bit.
I’m sitting at the bar eating my sun-dried burger from the kitchen at The Neighborhood when Carol takes the stool beside me. She sets her purse on top of the bar, turns towards me and kisses me on the cheek.
I finish chewing, wipe my mouth, then turn to her with a smile.
“Hey, I thought you would be gone until late tonight?” I ask her.
“I finished the last seminar early this morning and didn’t feel like sticking around to rub elbows with a bunch of chauvinist pricks,” she smiles holding up her hand to signal Noah.
“Ah, do I finally get to meet her?” Noah stands in front of us.
“Me?” Carol points at herself.
“You must be the woman that has got my buddy here all twisted up,” he jokes leaning in toward her on his forearm.
He couldn’t be more right.
Carol looks at me with a smile. “Twisted up, really? No, not me.”
“I call B.S. I’ve known this guy for years, and I do not recall once that he has dated someone,” Noah responds, “or, better yet, yearns for her.”
“Okay, let’s just change the subject here,” I say getting embarrassed.
“He also doesn’t like to be the subject of conversation. He’s more of a behind the scenes kind of man,” Noah says with a laugh.
I laugh and so does Carol as we both know when my alter ego takes over, that I don’t mind being front and center.
“Why are you two laughing?” Noah looks confused.
“Oh right, right. Sorry, I’m so used to, well you know no one else knowing about, well you know?” Noah looks back and forth between us.
“I thought you said that no one knew here?” Carol asks.
“Well, Noah is one of my best friends. He kinda saw me leaving the club one night and I wasn’t going to lie to him.”
“Oh. Well, then.” Carol nods.
“So, you too?” Noah asks as I glare at him.
“That’s where we met, well before I happened to move in next door to him.”
“Ah, it’s like fate!” Noah says happily.
I put my head in my hands and shake it while Noah and Carol talk excitedly. Noah finally goes back to work and we’re left alone.
“I tried calling you last night,” she says.
“Yeah? I didn’t see any missed calls.”
“It went straight to voicemail,” she replies. “I forgot what I was going to say though, so it didn’t matter too much.”
I take another bite out of my burger.
“What time are you out of here tonight?” she asks.
“I’ll be done here around five,” I respond carefully still chewing my food.
“Dinner tonight? My house?” she asks.
I nod my head while she stands up, places her hand on my arm and squeezes then leaves as Noah says bye to her and then comes back to me.
“Why do you look like you’ve seen a ghost?” Noah asks once Carol has left the bar.
“I wasn’t expecting her to come back early, that’s all,” I shrug.
“You sure? You were all stiff and quiet.”
“I’m always stiff and silent,” I protest.
“Spill it,” he demands.
“Spill what?”
“I know you and you are hiding something. Are you just not that into her? Is that it?”
“No, that’s not it at all. But I need to get back to work,” I grab my plate and scrape the remaining scraps into the trash then head into the kitchen with Noah calling after me.
I return to the office and get to work on some of the vendor bills that are due this month and sigh. I have at least four hours to prepare exactly how I will tell Carol that I went back to the club, that I broke our verbal agreement, and how I want to go back to the club as a couple.
Chapter Twelve
I’ve ran through a speech that I was preparing to give to Carol about everything. I feel guilty and I want to get that off my chest right away, hoping that dinner won’t be ruined.
I walk into her house after knocking and I find her in the kitchen. She’s standing over the stove stirring a pot and scrolling on her phone.
I move up behind her and kiss the space behind her ear in greeting.
“You shouldn’t scare a woman who is standing at the stove,” she warns, placing her phone down and turning around in my arms, wrapping them around my neck.
“You seemed off earlier, everything okay at the bar?” she asks.
“Yeah, I was just in the middle of the day, and had some stuff on my mind, that’s all.” I reply, leaning in and kissing her lips gently. “Something that I wanted to talk to you about actually.”
She drops her arms and her face visibly looks worried. I step back and lean against her fridge and cross my arms.
“Is this something that we should be sitting down for?” she asks.
“I’m not sure. I just had a few revelations that I went through while you were gone.”
“Revelations? Did you suddenly join a cult?”
“Call your dad,” I joke, referring to one of my favorite podcasts.
She shakes her head and lowers the temperature on the burner, then moves to the counter and pulls herself up to sit on it.
“Alright, shoot,” she says uneasily.
I clear my throat, “So, like Noah mentioned at the bar, I haven’t really been in any relationships and you know that no one here in town knows about my previous activities in Hollybrooke. I moved here right after college and Noah and I became fast friends. So Noah, he knows about my life as Mic, he’s known for years. Anyways, I haven’t had your standard kind of relationships, as you now know. What I guess I’m trying to say is that I haven’t had your standard kind of relationship since before I was an adult,” I start with saying my words cautiously to not warrant her to freak out.
“I’m not sure where this is all going,” she shakes her head.
“I’m giving you a little bit more background on me,” I reply. “Anyways, so you are the first relationship in a while that I’ve had. I got scared. I haven’t gone as long as I had without going to the club.”
“Had?” she catches.
I hold up my hand for her to wait as I continue. “As you can imagine someone with the kind of life that I’ve led for over ten years, I go from one hundred to zero. Our relationship has been wonderful and I’m happy, I truly am. I just wanted to know if I was losing it mentally.”
“What happened, Micah?” her tone is stern with her arms crossed.
“I went to the club.” I say looking at her straight in the eyes. “But nothing happened, I didn’t go there intentionally with that in mind. I went to see if any feelings stirred up.” I let the information sink in and watch her closely. “I’ve always felt a thrill being at the club, and I noticed that thrill was no longer present.”
She’s tense and expressionless. I can see the clenching of her teeth by her defined straight jaw. Her eyes are burning into me, and if looks could kill, I’d be sliced right open.
“You know how you are so big on agreements? What would have happened if our agreement, the written one that we previously had, was broken?” she asks, her voice even and measured.
“We would have ended our relationship as it was.” I reply matter-of-factly.
“So, we had a verbal agreement and in that agreement, I asked that there was no club. That it was just you and me. So, now I’m at a loss here of what we should do.”
“Just listen to me though, I understand that this is problematic. I am sorry that I went to the club, especially as if it was
behind your back. But I promise you, nothing happened.”
“Then why go?” she asks, showing the first sign of emotion with her voice cracking.
“I was afraid that I was changing because of you. I was afraid that I was conforming.”
“Sometimes, people change,” she says.
“I know. People grow in relationships, but I was thinking of it as in negative way.”
“Okay,” she says slowly.
“So, I went to the club. I wore the voyeur boutonnière and kept to myself. I ordered one drink and drank water otherwise. I walked from screening room to screening room and nothing interested me. I thought it was because of the night, it was a different night that I have attended club nights. So, I went the following night, which was one of our regular nights there.”
“You went twice?” she asks throwing her hands up in anger.
“Same thing as the first night. Nothing occurred, but that’s when I realized something.”
She looks annoyed as I continue. “I started to have feelings for you, long before you moved here. I looked forward to the nights that we had planned to meet, I was upset when we couldn’t. And after our last night together, I couldn’t bring myself to take another partner. Before, I didn’t waste time and I got a new partner right away. I planned that as usual, but I couldn’t. It’s all because I have had feelings for you, and they stem from sometime during our time at the club.”
Your Neighborhood Manager: The Neighborhood #8 Page 4