by T Swanepoel
Chapter 3 – Counterglow
Definition of the word counterglow/gegenschein: a faint, elliptical patch of light in the night sky that appears opposite the sun, being a reflection of sunlight by meteoric material in space.
I only got the chance to thank Alex about a week later. The dining hall was somewhat busy and I had chosen a table far away from the rest in an attempt to avoid a possible incident with a senior.
Truth be told, I was profoundly relieved to be around normal people. I felt safe around the dorm and campus. To me, the only danger was far away in a hospital on the other side of town, so I decided to be friends with my neighbours, Jennifer and Lisa.
Jennifer had burst through Lisa’s door the day that I had gone to apologize to her. Dark-haired and pale-skinned, the loud extrovert Jennifer didn’t bother with introductions.
“It’s our duty to be friends seeing that we’re neighbours!” she announced loudly. She dragged us along for dinner and we’ve been having dinner together every evening since. It’s impossible not to like her as she literally bounces all over the hallway from person to person, laughing and bubbling and enjoying herself thoroughly.
Lisa was the girl who had tried to talk to me on the stairs the day that I walked back from hospital. I felt guilty afterwards and looked her up. Lisa was a serious, nerdy, academic type – but familiar in a sense. I couldn’t tell her what had really happened and I didn’t want to lie, so I apologized without explaining. She accepted my apology with a stiff nod and our conversation struggled thereafter.
“Why are you studying maths?” I asked in desperation. Her eyes came alight. I understood from the animated narration that followed that Lisa had a passion for this world, for the majestic nature on earth, for the forcefulness of the heavens above, for the mysteriousness of life and the secrets of being alive. She argued that mathematics and photography was the best way on earth to describe it. We had a connection suddenly, and I was now in favour with this girl.
Somehow I was not surprised to find that gorgeous Alex was Lisa’s boyfriend – she herself was beautiful, with long golden hair, green eyes and tanned skin. And apparently Alex was studying engineering, so they were probably a good match.
Jennifer was on and on about some big party the following evening that I didn’t care much about. She wanted me and Lisa to go with her, but Lisa didn’t want to either as she had studying and heaps of laundry to do. Lisa’s phone rang and she excused herself.
In typical Jennifer spirit, she completely lost her drift when Lisa returned hand in hand with Alex, and she didn’t even try to hide it.
Alex was flawless. He looked like Matthew McConaughey’s sexy baby brother even though he was only wearing a tracksuit and running shoes.
“Oh… my! Hi theeeere,” Jennifer drooled. I stepped on her toe and her jaw closed, but she didn’t stop staring. Remembering my first meeting with him, I couldn’t blame her – at least this time the attention was on her and my own stare was concealed.
Alex just grinned but Lisa cleared her throat at Jennifer.
“This is Alex,” she announced in formal fashion and turned to him, “and these are my neighbours, Valerie and Jennifer. You’ve already met Valerie.”
He nodded his head at Jennifer and then frowned at me.
“You owe me big time, girl. I saved your car from fish paste and graffiti paint and then waited ages for you…” he looked apologetically at Lisa and then continued, “at your car. Not to mention the trip to the hospital.”
This time I was prepared for him, as I had expected to bump into him at some time or another. Lisa had told me earlier he had driven me to hospital after she found me delirious and feverish on my bed. She had also phoned ‘HOME’ on my mobile phone and told my mom what had happened.
“Thank you Alex, Lisa. I really appreciate that you guys helped me.” My answer came out steady and calm; after all I was sincerely grateful.
I didn’t know what he had expected to hear, but he didn’t answer with the customary ‘Pleasure’ or even a ‘No Problem’. He smiled faintly and then turned back to Lisa. I had the feeling something had been left unsaid and decided that it was a personal matter between Lisa and Alex, possibly insecurity or jealousy for Alex’s attention, although I hadn’t summed her up as a jealous person. I made a mental note to avoid Alex for Lisa’s sake.
She noticed my awkwardness and directed the attention back to Jennifer.
“Jen, I wanted to study for the algebra test tomorrow evening and do my laundry, but since you’ve asked so nicely I guess I’ll do everything tonight instead and go with you. Besides, Alex will be going as well.”
Jennifer’s expression said it all.
“Great!! You, Val?” she asked with a big smile. She was so excited that it was contagious.
“Sure. Sounds like fun.” I couldn’t help but smile back.
“Yiiiiihaaa!” Jennifer gave her trademark heartfelt cowboy cry, not holding back on the volume. A few heads popped up and stared in our direction, but Jennifer didn’t notice. Not wanting to offend her, I swallowed my nervous giggle and pretended immense interest in my almost empty plate.
Lisa changed the subject at once, probably in an attempt to tone Jennifer down a bit. “I’m off to the library after dinner to make copies of old exams. Any of you coming?” she asked angelically.
Her question dried out the zeal of the conversation at once. The slap back to reality was clearly visible on everyone’s face, a reminder of the academic pressure of varsity, something the general student was not so keen about.
Alex declined her offer with a very polite “No thank you.” Both Jennifer and I followed his example. To sound more assertive, I added that I still had to finish an assignment. We all sat there for a few tongue-tied moments before it got too much for Jennifer and she excused herself without finishing her dinner.
I felt awkward with the lovebirds after Jennifer left, so I finished the last two bites and excused myself as well. I headed for my room, taking the stairs two at a time. It had occurred to me that Alex must have carried me down the stairs – I strongly doubt that it was Lisa as she was too tiny.
The thought bothered me so much that I gave up on the first question of the assignment an hour later and climbed into bed.
My glow was by now completely blue again after the whitening from touching my luggage the other day. The glow in my room had also faded away. It looked normal again, the way I liked it.
The room was small and cosy, and the colour theme harmonized with the hallway. The curtains and carpet were chocolate brown, and the white of the bed balanced out dark and light perfectly. My favourite part though was the green bits – my desk looked out through a large window onto the garden below. The only other piece of furniture was a closet that was too big for my limited wardrobe, even after I tried this way and that to space my clothes out to fill it better.
There wasn’t much in the way of outfits to choose from so I settled for my trusty old jeans and boots for the party. A t-shirt didn’t feel exactly right, so I decided on my only half-suitable white blouse, a sleeveless, halter neck type of cut. It was a bit out of fashion, but it accentuated my tanned skin and brown hair. And anyway, I didn’t have another choice.
I left my hair hanging loose as always and didn’t bother with make-up.
“Finally!” Jennifer exclaimed teasingly when she opened her door for me.
She had gone all out: make-up, hair, clothes. She had on designer jeans with a pair of black high-heel boots, a beautiful but revealing rose-pink top and a black leather jacket.
“Wow! You really dressed up,” I told her feeling a little out of place against her stylish look.
“Thanks. That’s in case Alex has a good friend or two,” she winked. “If you’re ready, we can go. The two lovebirds have gone already.”
She locked the door behind her and dragged me away from the big main stairway. When I frowned, she explained.
“You missed the first initiation session that we had
. We’ll draw the wrong type of attention from seniors if we walk out the front door like this,” she explained. “Not that I care much, but they’ll keep us busy and I want to get there! We’ll use the fire-escape.”
The fire escape stairway was at the back of the building, slightly hidden amongst tall oak trees, with no lighting at all. The few top stairs that were visible from the open door were in a condition that would have given a professional daredevil nightmares. The steps were rusted so badly that they had holes in them. I didn’t like it one bit. Not that I was an overly cautious person, but I didn’t believe in testing fate to the limit. The tree looked like a safer option to me.
“At least we’re sure that no one will catch us on these,” I squeaked.
“Oh, come on. It’s not that bad. I’ve used it before. This isn’t the first party I’m going to, you know?” she said and continued forward without hesitation, taking the stairs with impressive speed, high heels and all. Fortunately, we only had one storey to climb, so I followed carefully behind her.
“Hey, Gran! You okay there?” she teased from below.
When I finally reached the bottom, I vowed not to test the emergency stairs again.
“We can take my van if you want?” I offered.
“No way dear, we walk; they’re watching the parking lot for sure. The senior rooms look down onto the parking lot, you know,” she explained.
I didn’t mind walking and after the stair antics, the mile-long walk to the guys’ dormitory was bliss. And with Jennifer’s uninterrupted babble, it didn’t take long at all.
As always, it was refreshing outside, but the red shine about the full moon had a gloomy effect on me. Even Jennifer noticed it. ‘I see a bad moon rising’ she sang. She went quiet afterwards, for a few seconds at least, before she continued her chatter.
As we approached the men’s dorms, much the same as our own dorm with the dining hall looking out onto the garden, the booming of the music got louder. Jennifer was in her element, dancing and swaying her hips. The place was swarming with people, both inside and out. Jennifer didn’t bother to find Lisa and Alex; she joined the dancing masses in the entrance hall right away, dragging me along. I shook my head, lifted my hand as if raising a glass, and made my way through to the punchbowl on the other side of the room. I needed a bit of courage to start dancing and swaying about.
It was a struggle as the place was overcrowded. I had almost reached the punch table when I heard chanting above the music. A few metres ahead of me, a crowd of about twenty was going mad. I couldn’t see past them at first but quickly made out the name they were chanting – they were cheering Alex on. The circle opened up a little and I could see his head and shoulders. He threw his arms up in the air, surrendering with a big smile and made his way to the stage.
The music stopped. The room went wild with whistles and cheers, even the band cheered. They cleared the stage to make space for him. Alex picked up the electric guitar and tested a few notes before he looked up with a sparkle in his eyes and hit the first notes of ACDC’s Thunderstruck.
The hair on my arms stood up. The rhythm was quick and the song built in momentum, filling the air and invoking a slowly growing vibe of excitement.
I was hypnotized.
He was a picture of masculinity, young and sturdy, his white t-shirt accentuating the strong, broad chest underneath it. The lighting was extremely flattering as his fingers ran fast and fluently over the strings, showing off a play of muscles.
Alex finished the entire song without missing a single note, smiling from ear to ear. The cheers and whistles exploded, even louder than before, calls for ‘encore’ resounding. He just shook his head and put the guitar down.
I envied Lisa as I turned back to the punchbowl. Only after about the third glass did my brain register the taste. It was better than expected and not strong at all. So I filled a second glass for myself and a third for Jennifer.
It was bound to happen – three glasses in two hands making an erratic way through swaying bodies ended up being three broken glasses on the floor and a red punch-stained blouse. I sighed. No one cared and the dancing continued undisturbed. I picked up the biggest pieces of glass and went to the ladies’ loo next to the stairway.
Inside I grabbed a handful of paper towels to absorb the worst of the wetness but the stain only smeared worse and worse with all the wiping. The blood on my fingers didn’t help either. Occupied with the stain, it took a while to recognize the force on me. It was a magnetic pull, just like the sensation that I had the day with Duncan. It tugged me in the direction of the garden outside and a moment later, a sneering laugh came from the same direction.
Curious as always, I climbed on top of the toilet seat and peeked out the small window. It was dark outside and I could barely make out the group of four in a small circle on the open lawn, a girl and three guys. Three of them had glows similar to mine, all of them bright white, but the girl had a slightly yellow shine to hers and one guy had a slightly red shine to his. What really caught my attention though, was what was happening in the centre.
What looked like a massive beam of black lightning circled between the four figures in a doughnut shape, about a metre above the ground.
I was still trying to interpret what I was seeing and what was so familiar about the figures when the whole image in front of me changed. The lightning beam froze, then exploded with a loud cracking sound. A bright flash of light turned night into day for a split second. Even my own glow turned white.
Then all four turned and looked directly at me.
Startled, I ducked down below the windowsill. For a very brief moment, I saw their faces and recognized Duncan. The fleeting impression that I got was that he was on the receiving side of a sound paddywack.
And if Duncan was in danger, then so was I.
Once alerted, the empty ladies’ loo suddenly seemed like a very scary place. That group didn’t seem very friendly and I didn’t want to upset them: they were too busy with funny stuff for my own good. And I definitely didn’t want them to find me alone.
I shot out of the loo, to find Alex, Lisa and Jennifer waiting for me outside the door.
“You okay?” Jennifer screamed above the music.
All three looked at me with questions on their faces and I remembered the punch-stain on my blouse. Jennifer must have noticed the accident.
I stared from the one to the other. They were on planet Sophisticated and I was on planet What-a-Mess. Earlier I had thought Jennifer was stylish, but Lisa was more than that – she was super-sophisticated in a fashionable little soft-violet and silver dress.
Embarrassment completely evaporated the fright of a moment ago and turned my cheeks to a lively red that almost matched the stain.
I was the odd one out, and I stood out like a mole. Displeased with myself for the stupid unnecessary accident and for blushing about it, I lowered my eyes. I resented myself for not tagging a jersey along.
“Fine. Just messed up,” I screamed back, pointing at the humungous stain.
Jennifer nodded.
“We’ll take you back with Alex’s car if you want?” Lisa offered.
“Okay, thanks,” I accepted the offer, grateful for the getaway.
I waited for Alex and Lisa in front while they went to get his car. I couldn’t help but roll my eyes when I saw it– a fancy white Lexus. It was so typical that a popular guy with looks and brains and talent and a personality and a wonderful girlfriend would have money and taste as well.
The trip back took forever. Lisa and Alex talked about the band that had played. I sat quietly in the back of his car. They must have noticed my detachment, as they didn’t try to draw me into their conversation although at one stage, Lisa turned towards me, but Alex pulled her hand closer to him.
I didn’t care about seniors right then, and took the big stairway. I went to bed immediately, switched off the light and spent the rest of the night staring bemusedly through the window at the moon.
My emotions were out of control. They oscillated between fear, awe, embarrassment, appreciation and possibly infatuation - I wasn’t sure. The evening ran in cameo scenes over and over again in my head.
The nagging feeling that it was Alex and Lisa standing outside with Duncan earlier stayed with me until sunrise.
***