My jaw dropped open.
“Yeah.” He made a low sound as if to confirm something I hadn’t said aloud. “I know a bit. And I see. I observe. You want to be strong, but you lean far too much on Fanny. Stop doing it. Let her live her life. You’re old enough to take care of your own shit.”
Diesel was right. I had it in my mind that I was going to distance myself from her—for her benefit, sure. But it was also for me. I needed to grow up, and I never would if I was always turning to her at the first sign of trouble.
“You don’t have to thank me.”
“I wasn’t going to.” My lips twitched in amusement, despite all the heavier emotions sloshing around inside me.
“What do you see when you look at the ocean?”
The sudden switch of topic caught me off guard. “Grandeur. Danger. Perspective. A canvas to process my thoughts.” The words tumbled out as if he were giving me an inkblot test.
“Yeah.” He pulled in a deep breath, his chest expanding before he exhaled.
“You?” I shifted to more fully face him, my brows dipped as I studied him.
“Those things, sure, but also a challenge, something to carve up with my board, something intriguing to master and tame.” He shifted too. His arms reaching out, he captured me and drew me closer by my waist.
Caught off guard by him again, mesmerized by the intensity in his gaze, I let myself be reeled in. A fish on the line, the lure not Diesel’s looks, though he was undeniably handsome with the breeze tossing his curls around his face. But more than all that was the puzzle he represented. I didn’t get him, but he seemed to get me in a way that was uncannily accurate.
“When the waves are firing perfectly, coming at me one after another, they remind me of you. When you’re not hiding. When you stand up to me, when you give it back to me as hard as I give it to you, you’re fucking phenomenal.”
He lifted his other hand and grasped a lock of my hair. Once he’d tucked it behind my ear, he left his hand on my face to frame it.
“What are you doing?” I shivered beneath his touch.
“I’m going to kiss you.”
“No,” I whispered.
“Yes.” He walked me backward toward the wall.
Hardly able to breathe, I shook my head. “I don’t want you to.”
“You do. You want it as badly as I do. I can see it in your eyes. They’re full of fire that needs releasing. Like there’s moonlight trapped inside you.”
I held my breath as he lowered his head toward mine. Diesel was right . . . I did want him to kiss me. I did want to see how hot we could be together. I wanted it more than I wanted to breathe, but he was crowding me.
“Wait.” My heart started to race as dark memories surfaced.
“Lift your chin,” he said, placing his palms against the wall on either side of my head, his body pressing mine harder into the boards behind me.
“Stop.” I put my hands on his chest. The muscle beneath his cotton shirt was rock hard, and his heart raced within the cage of his chest just like mine did, but we were no longer in sync.
“The lady said stop!”
The unexpected boom of a familiar voice made my heart leap over its next beat and then start up again even faster. My hand went to my throat, my eyes widening as Diesel turned and Max stepped forward into the light.
My bodyguard was back.
“Max,” I said, sliding away from the wall and moving toward him, even though he looked furious.
“Hollie.” Diesel grabbed my hand.
Snagged, I turned, dropping my gaze to stare down at his fingers gripping mine.
“Let her go.” Max’s voice was barely a whisper over the wind, but it was enough, the promise of violence in his tone unmistakable.
Lifting my head, I glanced back and forth between the two men.
Max wore a white oxford, the sleeves rolled up, his forearms exposed, his hands curled into fists. Diesel’s biceps bulged outside his tank top. Both men had slits for eyes and mouths that were slashes of malice.
Tension vibrated in the air, but I wasn’t frightened.
Why?
Before I could analyze it, Diesel spoke, his focus on me.
“Her choice if she wants to go.” His grip remained firm, his dark gaze burning holes through my reason.
No longer certain of my destination, I wavered between the two men.
“Go away.” Diesel flashed his attention to my bodyguard. “She doesn’t need your protection. This is a private conversation. It doesn’t concern you.”
“I’m not here as her bodyguard,” Max said. “I was invited as a friend.” Blue eyes like the ocean met mine and tugged as if he were the tide and I were a sandy shoreline.
“What’s going on out here?” Ash stepped outside, Ramon and Linc flanking him.
“Nothing,” I said, and Diesel dropped my hand.
“Doesn’t look like nothing.” Ash raised his brows.
I wanted to ask him where Fanny was and if she was okay, but I bit my tongue. I could lower the tension or increase it. This is my opportunity to distance myself from Fanny without raising her suspicion.
“Diesel made a pass at me.” I forced tears into my eyes, and fear into my voice I no longer felt. “I told him to back off, but he wouldn’t. Max arrived just in time.”
I threw myself at my bodyguard, the rogue wave returning to the safety of the shore. After only a moment’s hesitation, Max wrapped his strong arms around me, and I sighed with relief.
“Holy shit, Le.” Ramon shook his head. “What the fuck is your problem?”
“Got no problem,” Diesel said softly, his jaw flexing. “She does, though.” Moving closer to Max and me, he narrowed his eyes at both of us and scoffed. “Daddy issues. Obviously.”
“Now, wait a minute.” Max’s warning rumbled against the cheek I had pressed to his chest.
“Wasted enough time with her. This one’s yours to sort out. I’ve got a woman waiting for me. I’m not interested in a child.”
At the door, the bassist stopped and lifted his chin. He stood tall and lean like a whip, a stark contrast to my bodyguard’s massive bulk, like a battering ram.
“Step aside, Ash. Let me pass.”
“Diesel—”
“Do not give me shit.” The whip had quite a recoil. “Don’t want to fight you. Not over a fucking lie.”
Looking worried, the drummer glanced from me, then back to his bassist and shifted. When Diesel stepped past, Ash returned his attention to me. “Hollie—”
“I’m leaving. I need to. I don’t want to go over it all again. Maybe it was just a misunderstanding, but he makes me extremely uncomfortable. I just want to go home and forget this ever happened.”
“All right.” Ash exhaled heavily. “I’ll get Fanny so you can say good-bye.”
“No need.” I’d lose my nerve face-to-face with her. If I could even fool her.
Ash’s lips thinned. “There is every need. You upset her. She went to a lot of trouble for you.”
“I know that.” I shrank into Max, trembling for real. A guy as big as a Viking growling at me was intense.
“Ash.” Linc elbowed him while staring at me. “Don’t be so hard on her. She’s young.”
“Not so young.” The incensed drummer shook his head.
“Everyone’s tired. It’s been a long day.” Ramon gestured over his shoulder. “Let’s go back inside. Say good-bye. Call it a night. It won’t seem like such a big deal tomorrow after we all get some rest.”
The guitarist turned first, then Linc and Ash followed him.
“Hold up.” Max snagged my hand, and I glanced down. His large hand engulfed my fingers just like Diesel’s had, though the two couldn’t have been more different in appearance and temperament. “I want to talk to you a moment.”
“What is it?” I searched his eyes, the warmth in them reminding me, as if I could forget, why I’d gotten so addicted to him so fast.
“Only this.” He captured bo
th my hands, brought them up to his neck, then abandoned them to frame my face. “I missed you. Almost missed your birthday too.”
“I missed you too. So much.”
“What were you doing out here, alone with Diesel?” His brow dipped.
“Not with him. I was upset. I came outside. He followed me.”
“Did he hurt you?” The crease between Max’s eyes deepened.
“Not him. Fanny. Well, not really her, but . . .” I sighed and lifted my hands to his, peeling them away from my skin. “Can we not do this here? I’d rather talk to you alone. In private.”
After a moment, he nodded, shifting me under his arm, and we went through the doorway together.
Fanny was right inside. Ash stood behind her, both his hands on her shoulders. She lifted a hand to touch his, then left him to come straight to me.
Her eyes swollen and cheeks blotchy, she choked out, “I’m sorry.”
I made my sister cry. My heart twisted at the thought.
An automatic apology was on my tongue, but I bit down on it.
Hard.
“You don’t think.” Tears filling my eyes from self-inflicted pain, I lashed out at her, channeling my fear for her into this performance. There was no telling what Samuel might do to her if I failed to push her away from me.
Max frowned at me. “Hollie.”
“No, Max.” Without taking my eyes off my sister, I shook my head. “You weren’t here. You don’t know what happened. Stay out of it.” My body a tight ball of tension, I curled my fingers into fists, the enemy not Fanny, but the weakness I had for her. “You do things without my permission, then you tell me what to do. I’ve had enough of you bossing me around.”
“I don’t understand why you’re acting like this.” Fanny’s hands fluttered uselessly in front of her, something she did when she was upset. “It’s not like you.”
“You’re used to ordering me around like a parent.” I hardened my heart to her distress. “Well, you’re not, and I’m tired of it. Tired of you smothering me. I need you to back off and give me some space.”
“How much space?” Her red-rimmed eyes filled. “I barely see you anymore as it is.”
“Don’t call me.” My stomach cramped with nausea. “Don’t come see me. If . . . if Samuel calls you again, tell him you don’t know what’s going on with me. Don’t presume to speak on my behalf anymore. Refer him to my attorney.”
“So, do you want to explain exactly what just happened in there?” Max asked as we stepped outside.
I did not. I wasn’t ready to process it. Hurting Fanny, no matter how noble the reason, made my soul feel like it had slashed by a thousand cuts that would likely never heal.
Narrowing my eyes, I snapped at him when all I really wanted was him to hold me close. “Do you want to tell me where you’ve been for the past several days, and why you didn’t return my calls?”
His hand on my lower back curled into a ball. “Hollie, I can ex—”
“Holliewood!” someone shouted.
“Hollie!”
“Hey, Hollie, look here!”
We were inundated by a wave of photographers as soon as we stepped onto the sidewalk outside the Deck Bar.
“There wasn’t anyone here earlier,” he muttered.
“They were here. You just didn’t notice them because they weren’t interested in you.”
“Do you want to stop and take pictures?”
“No. Please, no.” I ducked my face into Max’s side, breathing in his clean, soapy, masculine scent, and wrapped my arms around him as shutters clicked and light flashed all around us.
“My truck’s nearby.” His arm slung over my shoulder, he steered us through the throng.
We stepped off a curb together and then scooted sideways between a huge blue Ford pickup truck with oversized wheels and a sedan. After opening the door to the behemoth truck, he grabbed me by the waist and lifted me into it.
“Is this yours?” I asked, staring down at him from the passenger seat.
“Yes. I dropped by to get it after my plane landed. I’m going around. Lock it after I shut it.” He closed the door before I could manage a nod.
The photographers left him alone, swarming to my side and taking photos of me through the glass. The flashes continued going off, even though I shielded my face with my hand and dropped my chin.
“I’d forgotten how crazy it is,” he said as he swung into the driver’s side.
Was he already regretting coming back? Was he back? Or had he returned only to celebrate my birthday?
Gnawing my lip, I speculated as he slammed his door, cranked the key, and gunned the engine. The photographers moved out of the way as he slowly inched out of the parking spot.
“I’m sorry about all of that,” I said, hooking a thumb over my shoulder.
“It’s not your fault.” He gave me a quick side glance. “I’m sorry they found you and intruded on your birthday.” Frowning, he returned his attention to driving, flicking on his blinker and turning left at the light.
“They have no boundaries. It is what it is.” I twisted my hands together. “Is all that why you left?”
“No.”
“Oh, I thought because of the photos of us in New York and then Cedric right after, that you were mad.”
“I was mad. It’s frustrating. But it’s not why I left.”
“Why did you?” I swallowed as Max stopped the truck at a red light and turned toward me. He looked so sad, I stiffened. “You’re not staying, are you?”
“Can we talk about it when I get you home?” he asked as he accelerated for the green light.
“I’d rather know now.”
“I called Security You Can Trust and resigned. I can’t be objective with you, Hollie. You need to get someone else to protect you.” He didn’t glance at me as he pulled into the far left lane and took the entry ramp onto the freeway.
“I don’t want anyone else,” I whispered.
He let out an exasperated breath.
“I won’t be comfortable around someone else. I can’t deal with someone else.” I clenched my fingers into fists. I had so little control of anything in my life. I was going to have control of this.
“You need protection.” He hit me with a firm look.
“I’ve done fine these past few days.” I turned away, stubbornly lifting my chin while the hope I’d felt at seeing him again died inside me.
“Fine isn’t a word I’d use to describe the last several days. It’s been hell being apart from you. If only . . .”
A text alert dinged from his phone where it lay on the center console between us. He reached for it, flipped it over without looking at the message, flicked off the sound, and returned it to its original position, display side down, before continuing.
“I’ve been worried sick about something bad happening to you.”
“So stay.”
“I can’t. I wish I could. But I can’t.”
“Why can’t you? I can pay you more than anyone else.” Yet even as I made the statement, heat hit my cheeks. Did I want him to stay for the money? No. But he was going to leave, and I would be alone. I felt desperate.
“It’s not about the money. Not anymore. It’s about you and me, and doing what’s best.”
“I’m eighteen now.”
“I know. Believe me, I know.”
“I’m a legal adult.”
“You are.”
“I want you in my life, Max,” I said firmly, and he glanced at me again, his expression softer. “Tell me how I can make that happen, and I’ll do it.”
“Hollie, don’t—”
“Don’t try to salvage us? The beginning of something that feels so good when you’re beside me, but so wrong when you’re gone?”
“You don’t know—”
“Don’t tell me I’m too young. Don’t quote bodyguard protocol. Don’t give me reasons why we can’t be together. Tell me you want to be with me, and we’ll work through the rest.”
“You’re so beautiful.” Max gave me a fierce look, his blue eyes glittering like the sun on the ocean. “So brave. So determined.” He reached across the center console and our hands met in the middle. A flicker of hope came to life inside me as he laced our fingers together.
“So, you want to be with me?” I needed the words. I’d been in my head so much while he’d been gone that I needed audible confirmation to sweep away the cobwebs of doubt.
“Yes. Absolutely yes.” He nodded, his golden hair falling forward into his eyes. “I’ve wanted that from the moment I first met you. Every day with you. Every conversation. Every glimpse you give me into that sensitive heart of yours makes me more certain that there’s no one more perfect for me, no one I want more.”
“I’ve been hoping you would see me as a woman you could be interested in.”
“Interested is too mild a description of the feelings I have for you. I’ve been fighting a battle I can’t win not to fall for you since you tumbled from that riser into my arms.”
“Oh, Max—”
“There are problems. Serious obstacles.” He released my hand, returned his to the steering wheel, and gripped the leather so tightly it creaked. “I need to make some phone calls when we get back. Then I need to tell you some stuff you don’t know about me. Just because we both want to be together doesn’t make it a sure thing.”
My phone rang as soon as we entered the condo. “It’s Olivia,” I told Max before putting my cell to my ear.
“Interesting photos of you and Diesel Le on the internet.”
“Hello to you too.”
“When were you going to tell me you and the Dirt Dogs’ bassist had something going on?”
“There’s nothing going on.”
“It looks—”
“Max is back. He’s here with me now.”
“Oh. Should I call back?”
“I’ll leave you to talk to her.” Max ran the back of his hand down my cheek, appearing equal parts troubled and resigned, basically how he’d looked since we both expressed our feelings. “I’ll go make my calls.”
“This will only take a minute.” I covered the receiver with my hand.
High Tide Page 17