“Watch me.” Shooting him one last hard, cutting look, she snatched up her purse, turned her back and strode out of the room. Her echoing footsteps sounded on the concrete floor as she retreated, moving farther and farther away by the second.
Alone in the room, he rested his elbows on the table and dropped his head in his hands.
Sixteen
Stretched out on the sofa in sweatpants and an old tee, Eden flipped absently through the pages of one of her fashion magazines. The flat-screen television, tuned to one of those home renovations shows, provided little more than background noise. And while the house was quiet for now, she knew Cooper and Ainsley were due home soon from his baseball practice.
It was Wednesday evening, the middle of what seemed like the longest week of her life. This time last week she’d been on a high. She and Blaine had been making sweet love and creating music together, and Naiya’s project had been on the cusp of wrapping up.
Now everything had crashed down around her. I always sucked at Jenga. Always pulling the wrong block, or not keeping my hand steady enough. Now my life is scattered just like those wooden blocks.
She let her head drop back against the cushion, staring at the ceiling. She knew how cliché it was for her to be lying here like this, pining over a man who’d shown himself to be unreliable on more than one occasion. Yet she couldn’t shake the feeling. Because there was more to him. There was a sweet, loving side to him...a man who held doors and pulled out chairs, whose smile lit up a room, who made love to her like a champion. And knowing all the goodness inside him only made this situation harder to take. All she wanted to do was lie there, like a bump on a pickle, kicking herself for getting involved with Blaine in the first place.
She heard the front door open and turned her head.
Ainsley entered, her arms laden with grocery bags. Cooper came in right behind her.
“Hey, Auntie,” he shouted as he shut the door behind them.
“Hey, Coop.” She sat up on the couch, righting her disheveled clothing a bit. “How was practice?”
“Good. I got to work on pitching today.” He jogged past her, setting a paper grocery bag on the counter in the kitchen before returning. “Coach says I’ve got a pretty good arm.”
“Of course, you do.” She flexed her biceps. “It’s in your genes, kiddo.”
He laughed. “Auntie.” Shaking his head, he disappeared up the stairs.
Ainsley, who’d muscled her bags into the kitchen, stood in the doorway, shaking her head. “You two. Meanwhile, why don’t you get up and help me put these groceries away? Obviously, Cooper has a more pressing engagement with Minecraft.”
Eden frowned. “I guess I should. I’ve probably been vegging on the couch way too long.” She stood, stretching her arms above her head.
Ainsley cocked a brow. “Girl, what’s going on with you? You didn’t come home from the studio yesterday, then I come home today and find you here, leaving an Eden-sized divot in the sofa. This ain’t like you, E.”
She shook her head as she entered the kitchen. “You’re telling me.” As she and Ainsley plucked items from the bags sitting on the counter and the island, tucking them into their designated spots, she related the story of what had happened during yesterday’s meeting at Against the Grain.
“But where’d you go after that?” Ainsley hung a bunch of bananas on the little silver hook stand she kept on the counter solely for that purpose. “Why didn’t you come home last night?”
She shrugged. “I just... I don’t know. My emotions were high, and I wanted to be alone. So, when I left the studio, I called Naiya to apologize to her. Even though it’s not my fault, I know what she’s going through, and I sympathize.”
Ainsley nodded.
“Then I headed down to the park. Sat on the dock by the lake for hours, then checked into a hotel when it started to get dark. I couldn’t come home. I couldn’t face you and Cooper knowing how angry and hurt I was. I would never want to take it out on the two of you, my only real family.”
Ainsley made a face. “Oh, damn. I’m sorry, girl.”
“Yeah. I feel like hell. No appetite, can’t sleep.” She dropped her gaze. “That’s on top of feeling like Boo Boo the Fool.”
“No, I mean, I’m sorry you felt you couldn’t come home.” She placed her hand atop Eden’s. “We love you no matter what. We love you at your best and at your worst. I’m just upset you suffered alone.”
Eden felt the smile creep over her face, despite her mood. “Thank you, Ainsley. I really appreciate that.”
“And if you want me to go over there and kick Blaine’s ass, just let me know.” She balled up her fists and positioned herself in a fighting stance. “I’ve got a clean record; I probably won’t get in too much trouble for putting him in traction.”
She giggled. “You’re the best.”
Ainsley chuckled, too. “Guess what I brought home from the store, cousin?”
“What?”
“Triple fudge brownie ice cream. Nuts. Whipped cream.” She extracted each item from a bag as she called them out. “You down for a sundae?”
“Do you really have to ask?”
A few minutes later, they were both on the couch with their bowls and spoons.
“So, what are you going to do about Blaine?”
She shrugged. “Go back to what I was doing before, I guess. Pretend he doesn’t exist.”
“What about Naiya’s album?”
“I held up my end of the deal. I wrote ten solid songs, based on her own words and feelings. I got paid for my work.”
Ainsley scoffed. “Yeah, yeah. We both know you ain’t gonna leave that girl hanging. She could have been me back in the day. Or you.” She gave her a pointed look.
She sighed. “You’re right. I definitely see my younger, more idealistic self in her. I’d hate for her to give up or change herself to try to fit into the industry.” She scratched her chin. “I’ll reach out to her in a few days, see what she wants to do moving forward.”
“Fair enough.” Ainsley set her empty bowl on the coffee table. “Now, about Blaine...”
She shook her head. “No. I don’t want to talk about him.”
“Eden, you’re not going to be able to forget him or pretend he doesn’t exist, and you know I’m right.” She touched her shoulder. ”You’re just not that kind of person. You’re going to care about him no matter what.”
The last spoonful of ice cream lost some of its chocolaty flavor when she heard those words. “Damn it, Ainsley. Stop telling me the truth and tell me what will make me feel better.”
“Girl, stop whining. You know I’m all about keeping it one hundred.” Settling back against the cushion, she tossed one leg over the other. “Here’s what’s real. You love him. And even though you’re mad at him, and rightfully so, that’s not gonna negate your feelings for him. You are gonna have to figure out a way to make it work.”
“Ugh.” She ran a hand through her messy hair. “That was physically painful to hear.”
“Like our queen, Lizzo, said, truth hurts.” Ainsley shrugged. “So are you gonna call him or what? Odds are he’s just as miserable as you are.”
She shook her head. “No way. After what he did, he’ll have to call me.” She wasn’t about to let him off easy, not after he’d given her a repeat performance of his self-centered ways. As badly as she wanted to call him, if only to hear his voice, she knew she couldn’t do it. She’d simply have to set her intense longing for him aside...as best she could, anyway.
“All right, I guess that’ll do.” Ainsley wrinkled her nose, the way she did when in deep thought. “I know he’s gonna call you. It might take him some time to get his head out of his ass, though.”
“Whatever.” Eden yawned. “I’m tired of talking about him.”
Grabbing the remote, Ainsley searched through
the on-screen guide. “Looks like Idlewild is coming on.”
Eden chuckled, then settled in for her fiftieth viewing of her cousin’s favorite film.
* * *
Thursday night, Blaine reclined in the engineer’s chair in the soundboard suite of his studio. The room, darkened except for the electronic glow emitted by the controls, matched his mood. His very soul felt shrouded in black, and the few points of light he could see all pointed back to one thing.
Eden.
No one had been in the studio since Monday, as no one had booked studio time this week. He’d asked his receptionist to leave the schedule open, just in case work on Naiya’s album took longer than expected. He only had one studio in his building, though he dreamed of one day building a state-of-the-art facility with at least three recording suites.
For now, though, all the dreams he held dear faded into the background, overshadowed by the immense pain of Eden’s absence from his life. He’d tried calling and texting her all day and into the night Tuesday; she’d ignored every attempt. By Wednesday morning, he’d given up on getting back into her good graces. Then he’d trudged here, to his big empty workplace, come into the studio and plugged in his headphones to hear the one sound he craved more than any other.
Blaine had not left the studio last night; he’d only left the room to go to the bathroom or grab the occasional beverage. His appetite was nonexistent, and he hadn’t eaten a substantial meal in the last thirty-six hours. Still, he didn’t want to leave, didn’t want to set his headphones aside.
I want to be here, where she was. I need to be near where this began, where I can still feel her energy.
He leaned the chair back as far as it would go without unplugging his headphones. Stretched his stiff legs out in front of him. Focused only on the sweet, sweet sound filling his ears. Music always salved the wounds of his soul...this time was no different.
The door of the soundboard suite swung open, and the motion in his periphery made him jerk his head in that direction. He could make out a figure in the dim light but couldn’t yet see the man’s face. He rubbed his tired eyes, but that didn’t help. Straightening up in the chair, he called out, “Who’s there?”
The lights flickered on, and he closed his eyes against the brightness. He looked again, seeing his brother through his bleary eyes. Gage’s mouth was moving, but he couldn’t make out the words over the sound playing in his headphones.
Gage stalked closer, his expression decidedly annoyed. “Can’t you hear me?” He shouted the question.
“Yeah, how could I not when you’re yelling.”
Shaking his head, Gage demanded, “Take off those damn headphones so I can talk to you!”
He simply shook his head. Whatever Gage wants to talk about, it can’t possibly sound better to me than what I’m listening to.
Gage narrowed his eyes, and after a few moments of searching for the jack, he snatched the headphone cord out of place. “There. Since you wanna be a stubborn ass.” He paused, his gaze shifting to the soundboard as the sounds poured into the room. “What are you listening to?” He frowned, tapping his chin with his index finger for a few seconds. “Wait. Isn’t this Eden singing?”
He nodded slowly. “I just...needed to hear her voice.”
“Wow. You’re mighty pitiful right now, bro.”
“You’re right, and I’m aware of it.” He resisted the urge to shush his brother, whose idle chatter was interrupting his listening to the sweet sounds of Eden’s melodic crooning.
“This is that Lauryn Hill song.” He shifted his weight from one foot to the other. “‘The Sweetest Thing.’”
“Yep. It’s one of her favorite songs, and she recorded this as a warm-up before she started recording studio demos for Naiya to use.”
He gazed off to the side, the way he always did when trying to remember something. “I remember this...it was on that soundtrack to that Black nineties chick flick...what was it? The Inkwell? Jason’s Lyric?”
“Love Jones.” He swallowed the lump of pain in his throat. “Don’t make me have to revoke your Black card.”
Shaking his head, Gage stepped closer to him before stopping and wrinkling his nose. “When’s the last time you went home to...you know, shower?”
He shrugged. “Tuesday.”
Moving over to the soundboard, Gage shut off the playback. “Nope. That’s not going to be acceptable, buddy.” He grabbed his brother’s hand and pulled him from the chair. “Get up. We’re going to your house.”
He felt his pulse quicken, the absence of Eden’s angelic voice already starting to affect him. Listening to her isolated vocals while picturing her beautiful smile was the only thing that gave him comfort as of late. “I don’t want to leave.”
“I get that. But if you ever want another shot at someone as classy as Eden, you’re gonna have to get off your ass.” With one strong tug, Gage moved him toward the door. “Let’s go.”
“She’s not going to talk to me. I tried calling, texting.” He felt the pain in his chest, the same pain he felt every time he remembered the look of hurt on her face. “She just ignored me.”
“I would, too. What are we, twelve? Grown-ass adults settle their disputes face-to-face.” Gage wrinkled his nose again. “You’ll see her in person. After you bathe, because you funky as hell.”
“Stop roasting me, Gage. I’m already in pain.”
He dropped his hand. “Whatever. Do you love her or not? And don’t even think about lying to me, bruh. Mama already hipped me to the game.”
He sighed. “Yes, Gage. I love her.” Before she reentered his life, he’d resolved that love wasn’t for him. It was simply a youthful feeling, something he’d grown too old and too business-minded to entertain. Now he knew better. Because there was no way he could deny her ownership of his heart and soul.
Gage clapped his hands together. “Sho’ you right. Now, man up, get your shit together and go get your woman!”
He didn’t put up a fight. He knew his brother was right, though he’d never say it aloud. But how would he convince her to let him back into her heart, when she wouldn’t even answer his calls?
What will I have to do to get her to see me?
Whatever it was, he’d have to figure it out. Because the past few days had taught him something, an undeniable truth.
He didn’t want to live this life without her in it.
Seventeen
Friday afternoon, Eden and Ainsley sat at the dining room table, enjoying burgers from the Slutty Vegan, Atlanta’s premiere vegan burger joint. The silence in the room was broken when Eden’s phone started ringing.
“Whew.” Eden swiped her mouth with a napkin. “I need a time-out.”
Sliding the button on her screen, she answered the call from the 212-area code. “Hello?”
“Hi, I’m looking for Eden Voss?” The female voice on the other line seemed hesitant.
“That’s me. What can I do for you?”
“Oh, good. Hi, Ms. Voss. My name is Chanel Titus—but most people call me...”
Eden’s eyes widened as she completed her sentence. “Chanel The Titan?”
Chanel giggled. “Yes. Apparently, you’re familiar with my work.”
“I am. You’ve worked with some of the biggest names in hip-hop and R & B. Monica. Sevyn. Riri...the list goes on.”
“I’m flattered that you follow my career.” Chanel cleared her throat. “Listen, the reason I’m contacting you is that I was in the Hamilton House offices here in New York last week for a meeting. While I was there, I overheard a voice singing on a demo reel. I was so taken aback by the talent that I inquired, and as it turns out, the voice I heard was yours.”
Eden felt the rush of exhilaration as the heat rose into her cheeks. “Wow. Oh, wow. Thank you so much.”
“I looked you up online, and realized I’d already
heard some of the songs you’ve written. But you haven’t put out any music of your own. Why is that?”
She clutched the phone, her eyes darting to Ainsley, who could hear the whole conversation.
“Tell her,” Ainsley insisted.
So, she gave Chanel the short version of her only attempt at a singing career. “I’ve just sort of settled into the behind-the-scenes work of songwriting, which I love.”
“Well, honey, you can keep writing songs if you like. But you’re wasting your vocal talents by not using them.” She paused. “Listen, I’ll level with you. I’d love to work with you on an album. You’ve got the kind of voice R & B is missing right now.”
“An album?” She blinked several times. “I...just...wow, my own album?”
“If you’d rather start with just a single, to see how things go, I’m open to that.” Chanel said something to someone in the background, her speech muffled as if she’d placed her hand over the microphone. “Okay, honey. I’ve got another meeting. You have my number now, so if you decide to give it a shot, just give me a call.”
“Sure thing. Thanks so much.” Ending the call, she laid her phone face down on the table.
Ainsley squealed. “Giiirlll! Chanel the Titan wants to work with you!”
She took a deep breath, blowing it out through her lips. “I know. This is wild.”
“It gets wilder if you think about it.”
She frowned. “What do you mean?”
“In a roundabout way, Blaine helped you get Chanel’s attention.”
Her frown deepened.
“No, listen. If you hadn’t agreed to work with him, what are the odds you’d have recorded that particular demo, which ended up in the Hamilton House office, at that particular time, for Chanel to hear it?”
She felt her face relax. “I guess...if you look at it that way, Blaine played a small part in this.”
“No ma’am. Blaine played a big part in this. Give that man his credit.” Ainsley went back to devouring her burger.
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