We were about ten minutes away when the explosion lit up the sky and shook the ground. Not earthquake big, but noticeable in the quiet no-man’s-land. Thorn flipped on the lights and drove on. We’d started the war now, and I hoped we could get out of this whole.
Chapter 16: Glory
After a long day on the road, we stopped somewhere off the highway at a motel. It had seen better days and that was how I felt. My body hurt from sitting too long. I was beyond stiff, and I didn’t look forward to moving. I’d thought I was more recovered, but eight hours in a car without the ability to stretch had done a number on my battered body.
Zero ran into the office and was back in a couple of minutes. “We’re in 116 and 117, around back.” He hopped in the passenger seat and Mark drove to the rear of the place.
Mark helped me out from the back seat of the vehicle, and I would’ve protested but I’d have fallen without his help. He frowned and guided me into room 117, and the inside was far seedier than the outside. The room sported two beds and an avocado color scheme that even the seventies couldn’t have loved. The owner must have bought it all at an ugly décor sale because while outdated they didn’t look forty years old.
The door I’d assumed was a closet opened and Zero walked inside. “Where you all sleeping?” He wiggled his brows. “You two down for the horizontal kind of catchup?”
Shit. I didn’t know what Mark was thinking, but that wasn’t even possible. However, I didn’t feel like telling them about my bruised and swollen sex.
“Fuck off back to the other room,” Mark growled.
Zero held up hands and backed up. “I’ll order pizza while you sort shit out.”
“Close the door,” Mark barked.
The door swung closed with a snick of finality.
Before that confrontation would have flustered Mark, now he stared at me with those steady nutmeg eyes. “Want a shower before we talk?”
I swallowed and shook my head. We needed to figure out this crap as soon as possible. Delta’s icy eyes flashed in my mind, and I felt like the worst kind of traitor. To Mark? To Delta?
It should be to neither because I didn’t want anything to do with the Jericho Brotherhood.
“So?” I stuffed hands in the band of my yoga pants.
“So.” He patted the bed next to him.
“Um, okay.” I sat beside him. When had he become the take-charge kind of guy? The four years we’d been apart was like a decade, a lifetime.
“So, Glory.” He met my gaze. “I spent the ride here thinking about us—about this minute.”
I hadn’t given him much thought at all. Who was a jerk? Me. “And I haven’t.”
“You’ve had a few things going on.” He grinned at me. “And part of me wants to scoop you up, comfort you, and keep you close—but that depends on you.”
“What do you want? If it’s me in Barden, well, I ain’t staying there.”
“Then you aren’t for me.”
That stung. Not that I’d expected any different—it was why we’d fizzled out before. It was the reason we weren’t meant to be. That and his devotion to his club.
“Haven’t we had this conversation...like a thousand times?”
He sighed. “Yeah. But this time we have it before we fall into bed together and you twist me up inside.”
“Are you trying to be an asshole?”
He smirked. “Not really, but I am protecting myself, this time.”
Ouch. How bad had I hurt him? “I never meant—”
He put a finger to my lips. “Neither of us ever meant to hurt the other, we just inflicted the pain without trying. But that’s done.”
“I didn’t...you chose them,” I sputtered trying to find the words I needed.
“I did.” He didn’t even have a glimmer of guilt. “And I would again. But we also get tangled faster than my earbuds, so I want us to be straight with each other.”
Shit, he had grown up. Maybe more than I had. “Okay.”
He gave me a sad smile. “Then we stay friends ’cause I’m done riding the Glory-go-round.”
“Friends it is then.” I struggled to keep my voice clear.
I’d lost him five years ago. There was a time I’d been sure he was my white knight. Maybe some girls just didn’t get one.
“Ah, baby don’t cry.” There was the old Mark, the one who’d taken my virginity in the bed of his truck on an air mattress he’d bought just for the occasion.
I wasn’t crying because of Mark—that had been inevitable. I was crying because I was still alone, and I was tired of being the strong woman alone. Tomorrow I’d be strong again, but tonight the world weighed me down.
“Stay there.” I held out a hand. “You chose and I chose.” I sucked in a steadying breath and tried to reassemble my armor.
“Bullshit.” He strode over and folded me into his arms. “You’re still my best friend,” he whispered in my ear.
I fell apart. Being brave was too hard. I cried and it wasn’t delicate or ladylike. Huge wails and heaving hiccups sounded in the room as I let out all the pain I’d held in. My bruises pulsed in pain, my body ached, and my soul was torn. No one tells you how much a hole in your psyche hurts—it was so much worse than all the physical pain combined. But I cried most because I’d lost the confidence I’d had before they’d hurt me. Now I was broken, wounded, and might always jump at shadows. Frankie and DeLuca bore most of the responsibility, but my willfulness and confidence had landed me in the situation. A situation others had tried to protect me from, but I was spoiled, protected, and hadn’t expected life to treat me badly. A fool at best and a willing partner in my own downfall at worst.
“I did this.” That’s what I was repeating.
Mark soothed my hair. “Nah, girl you didn’t do this.”
“Fucking idiot.” I sobbed and couldn’t stop the tears or the freight train of memories of how I’d ended up in that room trapped.
I shuddered in Mark’s arms. Then another person held me from behind.
“We got you, girl.” Zero’s deeper voice sounded from behind me.
What had I done to deserve men like this? Nothing. Truth was that I didn’t deserve it.
I eventually cried myself out and opened my eyes to find myself sitting sandwiched between Mark and Zero, each holding on to me. What should have been hella awkward was only comforting.
I wiped my nose on my sleeve and sniffed, trying to get my shit together again. “Thanks.” I cleared my throat. “I don’t deserve this kindness.”
“Yeah, ya do.” Zero’s certainty was deep and something in his voice dared me to question him.
“I changed jobs, right into that den of shit—thinking I knew everything, I didn’t check them out with anyone or even consider life was like this for people like me.”
Zero grinned. “I like that about you. You expect the world to bend to you.”
“Well, I ended up laid out flat—so forgive me if I don’t agree.” Tears escaped and I wiped them away. “I am such a brat. Why do you even care?”
“You’re our brat, Glory. And we protect what’s ours.” Mark rubbed my back in slow circles.
“You know what Delta calls you?” Zero gave me that playful half smile that probably got him laid every single night.
“Who knows? He and I bump egos on a minute by minute basis.” As much as I appreciated his protection, that man irritated the hell out of me. “I can’t be in the same room for two minutes without fighting with him.”
“Well, just unzip his jeans—” Zero stopped speaking when I leveled my death glare at him.
Mark smacked the back of his head. “He calls you Queen.”
Oh yeah. “I hate the name.”
“It fits you.” Zero grinned. “And queens rule—just like you do, babe.”
Mark lifted and turned my ch
in until I met his gaze. “This wasn’t your fault. You have every right to expect people to be decent, or at least not be evil.”
I laughed but it was hollow and cold. “Is that what life has taught you two?”
They both turned away, looking everywhere but at me. I didn’t know Zero’s story, but I’d bet he’d had more than a few hard knocks along the way.
“So we agree I fucked up.” Guilt gnawed at me. All the feminists of the world could tell me I wasn’t to blame but I was, and I hated stupidity, especially my own.
“We’ll pay them back a hundredfold.” Mark’s dark anger surprised me.
“What? Why do you care?”
“I love you, G.”
“Shit, am I interrupting—” Zero scooted back.
“We might not be the ones for each other, but I love you just as much as Avery or any of my brothers—you get me?”
Tears fell again.
Zero smacked Mark. “Way to turn on the waterworks again.” He pulled me into his arms. “It’s all right, Queenie, you got us even if you don’t always want us.” He held me. “Hell, I’d cry too if that idiot told me he loved me.”
I let out a warbly, watery snort.
“Go shower and fix that makeup.” Mark patted my shoulder.
I needed to regroup, and a shower sounded like heaven.
“We’ll head out early tomorrow.”
“Can we stop more tomorrow?” My body hurt. Only pride kept me from limping and moaning about the shooting bolts of pain that dogged each step.
“Sweets, I’ll tell you in the morning. It depends on the news from Vegas.” Zero sent a dark look to Mark.
Worry for Delta pierced me. “Will he be okay?” I bit my thumb. “What will they do?”
“Can’t talk about it, but Delta is as badass as they come—he’ll be fine.” Zero grinned. “You’re looking mighty raccoon-like with all those dark mascara marks.”
They wanted me gone, so I did what I was told. I went into the bathroom and turned on the shower, but then I leaned against the door with one of the glass cups they had in there. I wanted to know more than they were prepared to tell me.
“You didn’t claim her?” Zero’s baritone was distinct.
“I told you my deal, and she wants Vegas.” Mark’s voice was muffled.
His choice—my choice—both still bothered me. I wanted to be the most important thing in someone’s world, and I had been once in Mark’s world, but I’d been too young—we’d been too young and now that was over.
“Fuck—this shit will get complicated.” Zero kicked something. “Delta is sniffing around but that won’t save her—she has old lady written all over her—someone’s going to want to claim that.”
“And that’s not even the trouble that might come from Vegas.” Mark’s boots made scuffing noises on the carpet. He was pacing—a sign he was worrying. “How can we send her back there alone? Someone could claim retribution even if Delta wipes out the DeLuca organization.”
I couldn’t breathe. Delta was doing what? I slid down the door to the floor. What the hell had my stupidity caused? Guilt pressed me down, but I couldn’t get much lower. A good man would have blood on his hands because of me. Why hadn’t I just stayed at the Starlord like a sensible woman?
I didn’t even know how to pay back this kind of debt. I took in a big breath, then another and another until finally I forced myself to stand up. I stripped off my clothes and stood under the scalding shower. One word was burned on my brain—retribution. As the water washed away some of the shock of what I’d heard, another question surfaced.
Was I selfish enough to go back to Las Vegas where I might not be safe?
I could have a good life with someone. Mark was the past—we both realized that now. But according to Zero, I was in demand. Did Delta want me? A shimmer of liquid pleasure washed through me and suddenly I wished he did. However, that wasn’t reality. He’d shipped me away as quick as he could. No, Delta wasn’t an answer to my problems—he’d already sacrificed too much for my mistakes.
I stayed in the shower until it ran cold, trying to delay the reality facing me. I dried off and each pat on one of the bruised areas reminded me of the beating I’d received. I needed a do-over, but just how far back would I have to go to make my life right? All the way to the beginning most likely, so there was no point in wishing away what couldn’t be changed. Instead I needed to own my mistakes and not compound my trouble with more.
I slipped into the shorts and tank that Delta had bought me. They fit perfectly and that made me question just how many women he’d shopped for. Jealousy reared its ugly head, so I stuck a tongue out at myself in the mirror. “Stop being a brat,” I told my reflection.
The bruises looked worse in the fluorescent light of the bathroom. Of course it could also be because I was paper pale—the day had drained me and all my color. The marks on my face and arms were dark contrasts to the rest of me. While I didn’t ache as bad, my ribs protested every time I moved, and on my inner thighs a network of bruises ached from the ride. With the makeup gone, I looked like someone had used me as a punching bag. And the deep purple and green bruises on my thighs peeked out of my shorts. Maybe I should put the yoga pants back on. I couldn’t hide—not my stupidity, my injuries, or anything else. It was better to face it head-on.
I opened the bathroom door to the smell of pizza. My stomach grumbled. The guys were sitting on the bed with their back to me, phones in hand. I hurried toward the food and grabbed a big slice with the works on it—just how I loved it. The guys turned and stared at me.
“What?” I said around a mouthful of pizza. Mark dropped his slice on top of the box and prowled around the bed toward me—his gaze never left me.
“Why aren’t you still in the hospital?” Zero growled, his own pizza left on the bed.
“I’d be out now anyway,” I protested. Wouldn’t I? “And it wasn’t safe.” How had my life changed so much in so short a time?
“Did you even get any meds?” Mark demanded.
“Yeah, but I don’t need them anymore.” Although maybe I’d take one tonight to help me sleep.
“Lift your shirt.” Zero’s dark gaze wasn’t something I was used to. He always had a smile on his face and a funny quip. But that guy was gone and in his place was a biker every bit as dangerous-looking as Delta.
“I am not—”
Zero tugged it up so quick I didn’t have a chance of preventing him.
“Fuck, Glory!” Mark shouted. “Those bastards.” He whirled around and hit the motel wall. His fist went through the cheap wall, leaving a hole behind.
I jumped back at the violence.
Mark spun to face me with anger creating hard lines on his face. “We drove eight straight hours here with you in this condition. Why didn’t you say anything?” He dragged fingers through his strawberry blond hair. His gaze zeroed in on my shorts. “What the fuck happened to you?”
I stepped back and back until I stood with the wall to my back. I couldn’t get my breath, and the harder I tried the more faint I felt. Flashes of Frankie’s fist coming to my face repeated over and over. Spots floated in my vision.
“Shit.” Zero hurried toward me. “Come on, hon, sit down, bend down and breathe in slowly.” He rubbed my back. “Breathe in, one two three, now hold it for three. Now breathe out for three.”
I made myself do what he said although it felt like I’d pass out from the lack of oxygen. Heart pounding loud, I fought to control each breath until finally I started to recover. Eyes pressed shut, I calmed and forced the image of the fist from my mind.
I glanced up to see Mark, head bowed, standing where he’d been when I freaked out. My first full panic attack—another first I didn’t want.
“I’m better now.”
Mark didn’t look up.
“I said I am better, but the do
c said I could have these weird reactions for a while.” I forced a smile. “No way for you to know.”
Zero shook his head and shot a hard look at Mark. “We knew because Delta told us and sent a link and everything. Sharpie just lost his shit.”
Delta had sent a link and told them? “But not that I was bruised?”
“Seeing it is a lot different than knowing it. We shouldn’t have pushed you so hard today.” Zero looked away.
“I am fine.”
Neither looked at me.
So I shouted it. “I. Am. Fine!”
Both whipped their heads toward me.
“Stop with all this guilt. You didn’t beat me up. I am a lot better and will be totally fine real soon.”
Mark and I stared each other down—neither wanting to give in.
Zero strode forward and put a light hand on my shoulder and another on Mark’s shoulder. “You heard the lady—let it go.”
I clamped my mouth shut to keep from screaming.
“No wonder Delta is on the warpath.” Zero shook his head. “None of us like women being marked, but he takes that shit personal.”
“Why?” I desperately wanted to know more about him.
Zero’s face went blank. “Ask him.”
Stupid men and their codes—it wasn’t like I’d asked for his darkest secret, or maybe I had. I was tired and sore and ready to rest. “Get out of my room.” I made shooing motions. “I want to sleep.”
“No, we need—” Mark still had that pity in his eyes.
“Leave the door open and get out.” I couldn’t stand another minute of their hangdog looks and grim anger. I knew I’d screwed up, and seeing it reflected on their faces didn’t help a damn bit. At least Delta hadn’t pitied me. He’d given me revenge and respect.
Mark booked it out, but Zero grabbed one of the pizza boxes before following Mark back to the other room. I lay down on the board-hard bed and stared up at the dirty white ceiling that had seen better days. We were both tattered, but a fresh coat of paint wasn’t fixing me. I’d put on a brave face for the guys but their reaction had laid open the wound created by those thugs.
Get Away Page 14