by R. E. Bond
“You’ve always been too good for us, baby. I’m just sorry,” then he turned and took off before I could say anything.
My anxiety was officially through the fucking roof.
The fuck was that shit even about?
I gathered my things after another hour of running to try and ease my anxiety, but when I reached the parking lot, all the guys were gone, a frown tugging at my lips.
One of them always stuck around to take me home, so it seemed weird for them to have all left me.
I tried to call Caden, but his phone was off.
So was Jensen’s.
Tyler’s rang, but he didn’t answer, so I trudged to the bus stop and headed home the old-fashioned way.
No one was home, and by the time I went to sleep that night, I was still the only person in the fucking house.
Jensen messaged me, the text tone making me sit up instantly to read it.
Jensen: I’m sorry.
I frowned as I typed my reply.
Rory: What for?
When he didn’t answer, I tried to call him but his phone was off again, and he didn’t turn it back on for the rest of the night.
Lukas
I felt fucking sick.
I glared at Caden as I flipped through the pages of Rory’s diary, hating him for getting me to steal it in the first place, but hating myself even more for allowing him to push me around.
I should have told him to fuck off, but I didn’t.
The diary was full of sadness and anger, but her recent pages were full of hope and happiness.
I wished it were all true, but it was all a big fucking lie.
We were going to destroy what was left of her, and I’d never get her back.
“Caden, this is stupid. I say we just leave her the fuck alone. She’s been through enough shit,” I said firmly, watching him roll his eyes, but I could see the hesitation on his face.
That was until he got his hands on the fucking diary and read all the cute shit she’d written about Jensen.
I didn’t blame her, he was great, but it seemed to cement Caden’s plan of fucking revenge.
Jensen sat quietly as he listened to Caden read everything out to us, and every time I glanced at him, he looked even more fucking miserable.
Jensen wasn’t used to people not thinking of him as a fuck up, so hearing how important he was to her was ripping him apart.
He’d fallen for her, and Caden was being a fucking asshole to him, all because she was falling for him right back.
Caden didn’t want to admit he wanted her, but no one else could have her either.
Tyler looked torn between keeping his best friend happy and shutting him up to keep the rest of us happy, but as usual, he took Caden’s side.
It was how it always went, so I’d expected it.
It wasn’t until I snatched the diary back and had another quick flip through, that I found a hidden pocket in the back.
I pulled a photo out and a shiver ran through me, chilling me to the bone.
She really kept a fucking picture of him?
Caden glanced over my shoulder, suddenly snatching it with a scowl.
“What the fuck does she have that for?”
I shrugged, the sick feeling getting worse inside me.
“Probably to fucking punish herself.”
He paused, giving me a strange look.
“What does that fucking mean?”
“That’s the piece of shit who raped her,” I said flatly, but confusion took over when his eyes went wide.
He didn’t say anything, so I sighed. “What? You know him?”
He turned the photo around towards Tyler and Jensen, watching as Jensen somehow looked even more fucking broken, but Tyler’s jaw almost hit the ground as he met Caden’s eye. “Holy fucking shit, dude.”
That didn’t sound fucking good.
Rory
I walked into school alone the next morning like a zombie, scrolling through Facebook and smirking at some of the pictures that the guys had tagged me in over the weekend.
I walked towards my locker and noticed a crowd of students lingering around it, instantly making me fucking nervous.
What now?
As I approached, my heart sank as my eyes met Tyler’s as he lazily leaned against my locker, Claire curled up to him with a nasty smirk on her face.
I instantly knew something was wrong, and I held down the panic as Claire spoke with amusement in her voice.
“I told you it was all joke’s on you, Aurora. You lose.”
I kept my eyes on Tyler, who refused to look at me, making me snort in disbelief.
“Cowards way out? Nice touch, Johnson.”
He winced.
It wasn’t obvious to anyone else, but I knew him well enough to know I’d hit a nerve.
When he finally looked up, I could see the regret in his eyes, but I forced a smile and kept my voice strong.
“Joke’s on you, because I’m used to losing people. You think I’ll miss you and cry myself to sleep every fucking night? Don’t count on it.”
Fuck this shit.
I turned to walk off, but I almost ran into Caden who had a smirk on his face that I recognized all too well, managing to hide the hurt as it washed through me.
He was about to throw everything in my face and squash me like a fucking bug.
Claire was right, I’d been nothing more than a fucking game to them, and I’d let them play me.
My heart ached as he threw his arms out wide, cruel torment in his voice that matched his smirk.
“Bout time you got here, Aurora. Party just fucking started!”
“Fuck off, Holloway,” I bit out, but I was sure he heard the uncertainty in my voice.
“Now, now, don’t be like that. Thought you loved me?” he tsked, giving me a look of confusion when I forced out a laugh, before he masked it again as I spoke.
“Was that your game plan? Make the poor girl fall in love with you, then break her heart? I don’t even love my own fucking father, so why the fuck would I love you, Caden Holloway?”
He backed me into the lockers and grinned down at me, reaching for straws in his confused state.
He hadn’t expected me to stand my ground, but he should know I wasn’t the type to lay down and take it.
I’d always bite back.
“You’ve mumbled it while I’ve been inside you before, but I get it, you were just talking to my dick, right? I’ll take my comment back. Lukas stole your diary, you know? All those little secrets that you hold deep in your heart. Who you hate, who you want to hurt, who you think you fucking love.”
He spat out the last one, making me flinch.
My eyes met Jensen’s as he stood back in silence with a lost look in his gaze, but he kept his mouth shut and looked away from me, instantly dismissing me.
I looked back at Caden and sneered, sounding braver than what I was.
Then again, these boys had taught me to be stronger, so maybe I was actually being brave for once.
“Who gives a fucking shit? You don’t know anything that could hurt me, Caden. Fuck off and stop wasting my time.”
He laughed, but I could hear how fake it was as he tossed a picture to me, the image feeling like it burned my fucking hands as I saw who it was, causing me to drop it.
My eyes flashed up to his and my voice trembled without permission.
“Where did you get this?”
He got in my face, his kind hands becoming cruel as he yanked my hair back in his fist to keep my eyes on his.
“You believed we cared about you? You even wrote it in your little diary that we were your everything and you finally fit in somewhere. The page about how you could fall in love with Jensen because there isn’t a mean bone in his body? Well, guess what? He laughed when we found this picture in the back hidden pocket of your diary, along with the old suicide note you wrote and obviously pussied out of doing. That man in the photo is Tristan Holloway. The man who ruined your fuc
king life is my father. Checkmate.”
What the fuck? No, no, no!
I scrambled backwards as my breath became heavy in my lungs, everyone breaking out into laughter.
They didn’t even know what they were fucking laughing at, but they didn’t care.
Caden Holloway ruled the school, so if he laughed, so did they.
Jensen looked frustrated as he went to reach for me, but I punched him right in the eye, my body shaking as the emotional train wreaked havoc on me.
“Don’t fucking touch me, Jensen Gilbert. This is why you were fucking sorry yesterday? Why you wanted to spend just one last hour alone with me in the gym? Because you knew this was the plan? You fucking knew and went through with it, even after I confided in you? I don’t give a fuck if you’re sorry. I don’t give a single fuck about you.”
He watched me carefully, ignoring the burning in his eye socket from my hit as he spoke softly.
“I told you not to trust anyone. I told you why I couldn’t touch you. I…”
“Oh, fuck you,” I retorted, shoving past him and running out of the school yard before I could completely lose it in front of an audience.
I ignored my phone when Lukas rang.
I ignored the hundreds of calls and texts from Jensen.
I headed straight to Caden’s Challenger and stabbed two of his tires on my way past, jamming my pocketknife back into my pocket before making my way to the bus stop and jumping on the next bus that arrived, not climbing off until my old neighbourhood came into view.
I had a cigarette on the front steps of my old home before deciding to make my way to the shed at the end of the road, nodding a thanks to the guy at the door who let me in after checking my I.D.
I hadn’t had a cage fight in a long time, and I was well overdue to draw some blood.
I wished I’d never stopped fighting, but my anxiety became too bad to deal with, and Max was getting suspicious on my absence.
I couldn’t have him snooping around there.
I knocked out my first opponent, tormented the second until they were tired, then I splattered their nose into a bloody mess.
I was on top of the fourth fighter for the night, hitting them again and again even after they were knocked out cold, when I was yanked off them suddenly and pushed back.
I spun around and went to swing at my attacker, but my eyes met Skeeter’s sharp light green ones a second before he pinned me firmly against the side of the cage with his tattooed arm, his voice low so only I could hear him.
I was surprised I could hear anything over the loud beating of my own fucking heart.
My adrenaline was pumping so hard that I wasn’t even freaked out about being contained by a man I hardly knew.
“Enough,” he demanded calmly, his voice stern.
He pressed his body against me to keep me pinned there as he noticed my eyes narrow with every intention to fight him on it.
“Fuck off, Skeeter. You don’t fucking…,” I started to fight against him, but he held firm and glared at me.
“Calm the fuck down, or Slash will throw you the fuck out. We like a good bloody fight, but we don’t like burying bodies if we don’t have to. Got it?”
I was still fired up and fighting mad, but I nodded, his body instantly moving back to let go of his hold on me, jerking a thumb behind him towards the middle of the cage.
“All of what just happened? You’re gonna talk to me about it right fucking now. Follow me.”
For fuck’s sake.
I went to argue but decided against it, following him through the crowd of cheering people until we reached an office out the back that I’d never been allowed in before.
I’d been well known at the shed a few years ago, but I’d never seen Skeeter before, which confused me since everyone seemed to know who he and his crew were.
It hadn’t been that long ago since I’d drawn blood, had it?
“Sit,” he demanded sharply, pointing to a chair in the corner near a desk, grabbing a bottle of whisky and some glasses from the cupboard.
He sat down at the desk and poured me a glass, pushing it towards me before looking at me seriously.
“Now, what the fuck was that? I heard a few people talking, and apparently you were a regular teen fighter a few years back before the Psychos took it over. You sounded popular.”
I downed the whisky, ignoring the sting it left on the cut on my lip from the fight.
I felt alive, and I thrived on the pain it gave me.
“I grew up just down the road. Mom took off when I was eight, Dad’s always beaten me and treated me like shit, and I never really had many friends besides Lukas growing up. So, when Lukas and I stopped being friends and he went to a different high school than me, I started fighting as a way to deal with my pent-up rage.”
He handed me the bottle and watched me pour another drink, dumping his cigarettes on the table with a lighter before pushing the ashtray towards me.
“Why the fuck are you here tonight, kicking the shit out of our best fighters, instead of cozied up in that big fucking mansion of yours? It’s common knowledge around here that Aurora Donovan is on Caden Holloway’s dick and living in his fancy fucking mansion. So, tell me your bullshit excuse why he’d let you come here alone. He’d never allow you to be here, and we all know it.”
Allow me?
I angrily lit a cigarette and glared at him with either bravery or stupidity, I wasn’t too sure which one.
“You gonna let me fight again if I talk about it? Because I’m gonna get fucking angry again.”
“We’ll see,” he muttered, waiting for me to speak as he watched be intensely.
I took a drag and glared at the glass in front of me, not wanting to talk about my day, but also knowing he’d throw me out if I didn’t.
“I went straight to my old place from school, then I came here, after Caden and his boys put on a nice little show about how they played me. I was a joke to them, Skeeter. They went through my diary, they fucked around with me to make me trust them. Jensen even knew that the man my dad lent me to as a fucking rape gift to pay off his debts, was none other than Tristan fucking Holloway, and I had no fucking clue. So, excuse me if I’m bleeding out your money makers, but I’m beyond fucking angry and this is the only place I knew I could go to burn some anger without going to fucking jail.”
His eyes narrowed, something changing in him as he sat back with a thoughtful expression on his face as he tongued one of his lip rings.
“That’s why Jensen told me not to touch you when I went to shake your hand, right? Because you literally don’t like being touched?”
“Yep.”
He watched me angrily finish my cigarette and down another glass of whisky before he stood, letting out a sigh.
“Not gonna lie to you, babe. Holloway’s one of my boys, but even I know he’s full of shit if he thinks you don’t mean shit to them. Jensen’s soft with you, when he’s usually the hard ass out of all of them. Tyler doesn’t share his coke with any girl either, and apparently he and Slash got you pretty fucked up over the weekend. Lukas wasn’t there today, was he?”
When I shook my head, he snorted, “Because he was too pussy to tell you the truth about what was going down, but too much of a pussy to be part of it too. They’re stupid, and they fucked up. I’ll let you fight, but don’t kill anyone, for fuck’s sake. I mean, everyone knows nothing turns me on more than a chick with a criminal record, but I don’t wanna add to mine. Okay?”
I nodded, standing and following him towards the door, but he stopped, glancing at me with a small smile.
“Slash’s offer still stands. You need us, just holler, okay? I don’t give a fuck about what game Holloway played. They wouldn’t have bet on the fact that you’d still have someone on your side. Want me to threaten him with my gun? For shits and giggles?”
I smiled slightly, some of my heartache fading.
“Nah, I slashed two of the tires on the Challenger on my way out of the
school, despite hating myself for damaging such a nice car. He wasn’t that good in bed anyways, so who’s really missing out, right?”
He burst out laughing, a real smile finally hitting his lips.
“I like you, Donovan. You want a good fuck, you come find me. Damn girl.”
Once back in the cage, people started cheering, and I knew I was in for a long night of inflicting pain, even if it wasn’t on the people who deserved it.
Chapter eight
Rory
I changed my number two days later.
Jensen had messaged and called me hundreds of times in a panic as if I’d fucking killed myself, since I hadn’t been seen since I’d taken off from school.
I had one text from Caden about his tires, telling me I was dead when he got his hands around my throat, and I had one missed call from Tyler.
I knew from the photos online that he’d been tagged in the previous night that he’d just been drunk.
Drunk apologies didn’t mean shit, not that I’d fucking forgive him anyways.
Lukas hadn’t even tried to contact me once, but he also knew it would have been pointless.
I climbed out of the spare bed at Skeeter’s house early to use his treadmill for a few hours until my legs hurt, then I had a hot shower and did a line of cocaine, plonking down next to Skeeter on the couch.
He’d become a good friend over the past few days, and he didn’t seem so intimidating anymore.
The cocaine helped, because I wasn’t thinking straight.
He was a murdering machine, and I knew he’d kill me if I gave him a reason to.
He looked up from his laptop and raised an eyebrow at me with fake annoyance.
“Can I help you, hot stuff?”
I smirked as Or Nah by The Weeknd and Ty Dolla $ign blasted from the stereo in the corner, my body aching to dance and move along to it.
“Yeah, how long are you going to be doing manly gang stuff?”
He chuckled with amusement, leaning back on the couch to watch me.
“I’ve got a few things to do today. Also, not a gang, it’s a crew. Why?”