by J. L. Beck
“I’m on the shot, and got one just before I came here,” she tells me, and I feel the boulder of fear rise up off my chest. Still after knowing all the girls I’ve been with, she shouldn’t have trusted me so easily. Then again, she probably knows damn well I would never put her in a situation that would harm her, doesn’t matter though, I want to clear the air and make certain that she knows I’m clean.
“I never had sex without a condom before and I’ve always been careful and I know I’m clean,” I say, all while still buried deep inside of her.
“It’s okay, I trust you.” Her words have my chest swelling with emotions, her trust means so much to me. She leans into me. Wrapping her arms around me tightly while claiming my lips with her own, kissing me so deeply and passionately that my mind goes blank.
With her in my arms, I don’t care about anything else, I don’t care about the past or even the future, all that matters is us, right now in this moment… a moment I wish to never end.
From the moment I woke up the next morning, the happiness I felt last night has been corrupted by a dark thought I can’t get rid of. It’s been festering all day long. Sitting in the back of my mind, nagging at me, growing like cancer.
I know Emerson doesn’t want to talk about this anymore, and I’m not going to subject her to reliving that moment, but I need to do something. I can’t let that sick fuck get away with what he’s done. He needs to pay, one way or the other. If I have to be the one to do it, then I will, but something is going to be done.
Walking into my father’s office, I bypass his secretary without a second glance. She greets me quietly but doesn’t stop me from walking in unannounced. Not that it would stop me anyway.
The door swings open and my father’s head snaps up, his mouth pops open, probably to yell at the person walking in unannounced but when he sees that it’s me, his annoyed expression turns curious with a hint of worry.
I haven’t come to his office in a long time and the times I did come, it was at my father’s request. Today though, it’s in honor of the one woman I love.
“Clark,” he greets me, clearly surprised by my presence. “Is everything okay?”
“No.” I close the door behind me and drop down into a seat at the desk, across from him.
“Dad, this is going to seem like a strange request, but I need you to tell me everything you know about Rick Paulson.”
“Rick? What do you have going on with him?” His dismissive tone has the already heated blood boiling in my veins.
“It doesn’t matter, I just need to know about him.”
“Clark, what is this? What did you get yourself into? I’ll help you however I can, but I don’t want you getting involved with him.”
“Dad!” I yell, slamming my fist down onto the mahogany table, making everything sitting on the surface shake. “I need you, okay? I really need you on this. I’ve never asked you for anything, not even after Mom died. I just need you to do this one thing for me, it’s important.” Even I don’t miss the desperation in my voice.
My father’s face falls, his expression sobers as if his constant mask of strength and mightiness is faltered by the desperation of my words. I don’t remember ever telling my dad that I need him. I’ve been too busy hating him and pushing him away, blaming him for everything in my life. Admitting that I need my dad, catapults us both into a new territory. It makes us both vulnerable.
“I need you to tell me about this guy,” I say after a pause. “It’s important and you know I wouldn’t ask you for anything if it wasn’t.”
“All right,” he sighs and scrubs a hand down his face. “He used to be my business partner, we had a small law firm together back then. Rick, myself and Larry, Emerson’s father. We split after a few years, deciding to go our own ways and up until recently, I haven’t talked to him. He moved here a couple weeks ago and reached out to me, just to catch up.”
That piece of fucking shit. He must have followed her.
“Is there anything shady about this guy? Anything you know about him that I could use against him?” Anything that I don’t already know, I should say.
His brows pinch together, and he frowns at me. “Clark, I wanna help you, but I need you to tell me what the hell is going on. How do you know Rick? Are you in trouble?” For once in my father’s life, he sounds concerned about someone else besides himself.
“No, I’m not in trouble, not yet at least.”
“What do you mean not yet?”
“I mean… I know about him hurting someone. He raped someone and covered it up, and I’m going to make sure retribution is served.” I can feel the rage inside me intensifying.
“You mean Amber?”
I stare at him dumbfounded. “Amber? Who the fuck is Amber?”
“Our intern, well, she was our intern at the firm. She accused him of assaulting her. He denied it, swore he never raped her, even came up with emails of her asking him for money. It looked like she had set him up. Trying to blackmail him after sleeping with him.”
“So what happened? People didn’t believe her?”
“There was no proof against him, everything looked like she was the one lying. A few days later, Amber was gone, moved out of town. I even wrote her a recommendation letter for a different firm.”
That son of a bitch… it wasn’t his first time and to think maybe none of this would’ve happened to Emerson had they believed this Amber chick when she told them. I’m so angry I wanna punch something, destroy something, hurt someone.
“Wait… you still wrote her a letter of recommendation? So you didn’t think she lied?”
“Honestly, I just felt like there was something fishy about the whole thing. Soon after, we all parted ways. I think Larry and he ended up working together on a few cases a couple years back.”
There’s a long pause and I clench my fist so tightly the veins in my arm bulge.
“Why? Is everything okay? Who does this have to do with?”
I stare him straight in the eyes wondering if I can trust him, if I should even tell him. If I don’t, then he won’t help me, so my options are pretty slim, but I also don’t want to tell him a story that isn’t mine to tell.
Leaning forward with my forearms against his desk, I grit out, “He hurt someone else, you need to help me put this guy behind bars. Promise me you’ll put this guy away for a long time.”
Frustration mars his face. “Son, I’ll do what I can, but I’m going to need all the details before I can promise you anything.”
Shit. Of course I’m going to have to tell him. I shake my head, torn in two, between wanting this guy behind bars and keeping Em’s secret. What the fuck am I supposed to do here? What’s the right thing to do?
“Clark, listen… whatever you tell me is going to stay between us. Tell me what you know, and I can give you an idea of what we can do about it.”
Deep breaths. You’re doing this for her.
“It’s Emerson, he abused her when she was fifteen. He got her pregnant. She never told anybody besides me. Not even her dad knows.”
“Christ… that sick bastard,” my dad says, disgust dripping from each word and I know he believes me, so I tell him the rest, everything that I know, hoping to God that I’m not making the biggest mistake of my life by sharing this with him. My father listens intently to every single word. Once I’m done, he leans back in his leather office chair, looking out the window with his gaze trained on some spot in the sky. “I’m going to be honest with you, Clark. This is going to be a tough one in court.”
Fuck. This is exactly what I didn’t want to hear. “But you believe me? You have to believe Emerson, she’s not lying. I know it. Remember how she reacted to you when you came home? How scared she was?”
“Yes, I remember, and I know she isn’t. But in a court of law, it doesn’t matter what you know, what matters is what you can prove and from what you’ve told me there is no proof. Don’t get me wrong. You have a case, she can press charges right now and I�
��ll be happy to represent her, but the reality is that the chances of getting him convicted are slim. Also, Emerson would have to give a detailed statement and I doubt that’s something that she wants to go through.”
And just like that, I’m back to feeling defeated, like a balloon that’s lost all its air.
“So there’s nothing we can do?”
“I didn’t say that. There have been two girls that we know of. I can guarantee you that there are more. Let me do some digging. I’ll have a private investigator look into Rick, if we can find some more recent victims and they all want to come forward, then we have an actual shot.”
Finally some good news. “But for now, you won’t tell anyone about Emerson. She doesn’t know I’m here. She’s scared and she wants to forget about the past, which I get, but I can’t just let this son of a bitch live his life knowing what he did to her, and who knows to how many other women. She deserves this, to find peace, they all do after all he has done.”
For the first time since I can remember, my father’s gaze softens, and I see something that resembles love. “I get it. Don’t worry, I won’t say anything to anyone about Emerson, you have my word.”
“Thank you. This means a lot to me.”
“You love her, don’t you?”
“More than I can put into words or even understand. I’d do anything for her.”
He chuckles. “I would say so, you’re in my office right now without me ordering you to be here. She must be something special to you if you’re willing to walk into the lion’s den.” The moment feels lighthearted and I can’t help but smile. I move from my chair and stand, stretching my long legs.
“Thanks, Dad,” I mumble and turn to leave but stop at the sound of my name.
“Clark,” he calls, and I twist around to face him.
“Yeah?”
“I know you don’t think I loved your mother, but I did. I loved her very much and losing her hurt me too. I tried to save her, but I couldn’t. I just wanted you to know that.”
Pain lances across my abdomen. It feels like someone kicked me in the stomach. I want to believe him I really do, but I can’t.
I watched my mother die, every single day, and at no point did he ever make an effort to help her. So well, maybe he loved her at one point and time, but he didn’t love her enough for it to really matter. Otherwise she would be here right now.
“If you loved her, then she would still be here. You don’t let people you love down…” I say, walking out of his office, and closing the door softly behind me.
On the way out to my car, I pray that he doesn’t let me down, that he can help me, because one way or another, I will end this guy… make him pay for all that he’s done.
64
Emerson
Weeks have passed since the night I faced all my demons and came out on the other side stronger. I’ve never been so happy, all smiles, and excited. Clark and I have been spending every free minute we have together, going on dates and having sex like a normal couple. It’s everything I never thought I would have or get to experience. I’m a normal college student, with a boyfriend and a future. An actual future. I’m momentarily pulled from my thoughts when I feel Ava’s eyes burning a hole into me.
“You realize you’re smiling at nothing, right?” Ava giggles next to me as we are walking to the coffee shop.
“I can’t help it. I’m just so happy.” I shrug. Nothing could pop my bubble of happiness, not now, not ever.
“I can see that and I’m ecstatic to see you and Clark so happy, and finally together, you both deserve this, and are a great pairing. Though I will say when I first met you, I couldn’t help but think ‘wow she is Clark’s complete opposite.’ It made it hard to believe Clark when he said you guys were dating.”
Now that we’re together I often wonder what I was so afraid of, why I thought Clark would reject me if he ever found out the truth. His actions never led me to believe otherwise, but that was back when I let the fear of everything control me.
“Thank you for saying that and thank you for being such a great friend.”
Two steps later, Ava stops abruptly, her hands patting against her jean pockets, also causing me to stop mid-step. “Oh shit, I forgot my phone in the car. I’m gonna run back and get it really quick.”
“You want me to come with you?”
“No, it’s okay. I’m sure everybody is already waiting. Go ahead, and I’ll just meet you at the coffee shop.”
“Oh, okay,” I say when Ava spins around and takes off jogging back to the parking lot.
With a smile still on my lips, I walk around the corner of the building, the coffee shop comes into view, and the thought of seeing Clark in a few minutes has the butterflies in my belly fluttering around like crazy. Going to classes have been torturous, but logically, I know I can’t spend every single minute with him.
“Emmy…”
The smile I thought I would never lose falls from my face. The fine hairs on the back of my neck stand on end and a shiver of fear ripples down my spine, the butterflies in my stomach turning to a ten-pound boulder in an instant.
“I was hoping I would run into you. I was terribly disappointed when you disappeared with that Jefferson kid.”
“No…” The word slips past my lips and I know I have to do whatever I can to get away from him. He shouldn’t be here, he shouldn’t be this close to me. Digging deep inside myself, I find the strength to speak just as his meaty hand wraps around my upper arm. “Let me go or I’ll scream.” I glance over to the coffee shop that’s only a few hundred feet away from us. If I can get away, if I can run….
“You’ve grown a backbone, I see,” Rick growls, his hold tightening enough to make me whimper. He leans forward, pinching my chin between two of his fingers, hard enough to leave a bruise. “I can’t wait to get you alone and snap it in two.”
“I said no!” The strength in my voice isn’t wavering. I can do this. He wouldn’t dare try and hurt me in public, he knows better. Twisting my neck, I break the hold he has on my chin, and dig my feet into the ground, as darkness cloaks his features. His grip tightens, and I know there will be bruises where he’s holding me. He snarls and takes a step back, trying to pull me back down the sidewalk.
“Let’s go, bitch, we both know you want me. There’s no need to try and hide it now.”
“No!” I scream and try and tug my arm away.
“Shut the fuck up!” The evilness that only I have seen, paints his features and he rears his fist back to punch me, but stops mid-air as the sound of heavy footfalls thunders against the pavement behind us.
“I will kill you.” Clark’s voice pierces the air, and relief floods my veins.
Rick releases his hold on me and takes a step back. I swear I see a trickle of fear flicker in his eyes before the mask he always wears falls back into place. “We were just talking…” is all he manages to get out before Clark is on him, smashing his fist into Rick’s face with a ferocity that has me cringing. Rick doesn’t get a single punch in before he falls to the ground like a ragdoll, but that doesn’t stop Clark from continuing his assault. No, I can see it in his body language, feel it in the air, the anger is rancid, and clogs my throat as I suck in a ragged breath.
“Clark stop, you’re going to kill him,” Remington’s voice cuts through the air, the authority of it is almost frightening. He appears in my line of vision the next moment, pulling Clark off a motionless Rick.
I’m so numb from all of this, that I don’t see or feel Vance’s hand coming to rest on my shoulder at first. Only when he starts talking, do I notice his hand moving from my shoulder to circle my forearm tugging me away from the scene carefully.
“Are you okay? Where is Ava?” His voice sounds a bit frantic and I know he is worried about her.
“She… she just went back to get her phone,” I tell him, looking back in the direction of the parking lot.
“I’ll find her. Clark, get your shit together, Emerson needs you,�
� Vance yells over to Clark, who is still hovering over Rick, looking every bit like a predator that’s ready to attack again. His lips curled and his body visibly shudders, the darkness in his honey-colored eyes terrifies me. I can hardly breathe… How did this happen?
As if something tells him to look at me, he pulls his gaze away from the ground and his eyes find mine. As soon as he looks at me, his expression softens, but it’s too late, I’ve already caught a glimpse of the darkness that resides inside of him. I didn't think it was possible for Clark to hold this kind of anger in his heart. Jules, Remington’s girlfriend, appears at my side, her brows pinched together in confusion as she takes in the scene before her.
“What happened? Are you okay?” she asks, her eyes darting between me and Rick, her voice concerned but also comforting. Her small hand rests against my back, rubbing gentle circles against it.
“He grabbed me. I told him to go… but he wouldn’t,” I say quietly and notice my lips aren’t trembling. You’re strong. The words resonate inside of me.
Clark, who looks more composed now, comes to stand next to me, extending out his hand. I take it, letting the warmth soothe my fears away.
“We need to call the police.” She turns to Remington and all but shouts. Remington looks conflicted as he glances to me, then Clark, and finally to Rick.
“No! No, please, no police,” I almost yell. “I just want to go home.” When no one says anything, I start to panic. “This guy is a lawyer, he’s going to spin this whole thing around. I promise you, if we call the cops right now, it’s going to turn into us all being questioned.”
Remington’s gaze hardens and he looks to Clark.
“She’s not lying, this bastard will weave a web that will get all of us in trouble,” Clark spits the words with rage.
Jules shakes her head, and I can barely look at her. I can’t imagine what she thinks of me right now. How weak she must assume I am.
“We can’t let him get away with this. We need to call Sebastian, Remmy.”