by J E Reed
The thought of moving on was something she both looked forward to and dreaded. She needed to find Elite, among others, but that meant leaving Kikyo and Elliott behind. Once she escaped, that was it. There was no coming back. They’d never have a resting place in the real world.
Kiuno twirled the bracelets around her wrist. She’d never taken them off. It was a reminder of their sacrifice. She liked to think that maybe Elliott died for her. That perhaps he’d seen the shots coming and placed himself in harm’s way. Then again, maybe not. Maybe that line of thinking was just a comfort to ease her own mind.
Six months…it was hard to grasp just how fast time flew. The last three were spent with Vincent as he helped her process the grief. He asked the villagers about her husband, but once again there wasn’t any news. She couldn’t imagine how far ahead they might be by now.
Vincent returned late that afternoon and wasted no time. He grabbed a staff and gestured her outside. Liam gave her a shrug, and both followed. She thought he might like to rest after a long day.
Standing before him, she twirled the staff in hand and stretched her shoulders. Her reflexes had improved and after all their practice Kiuno was sure she’d be able to outpace almost anyone.
Liam sat on a stump in the corner and folded his legs to watch. She gave him a quick smile and turned to Vincent to do the same.
He didn’t return the greeting.
“We’re going to do things differently today.” He shifted back into a stance, and she mirrored him. “You’re going to use your magic.”
“You know I can’t, I haven’t been able to in months.” Why was he suddenly so interested?
“You’ll be able to, you just need to get past what’s holding you back.”
“That’s the problem, I don’t know what that is.”
“The emotions you draw on are what dictate the response. You need to figure out what the correct trigger is.”
“Don’t you think I’ve been trying?”
“Not hard enough.”
Her mouth fell open, speechless. Tears of frustration threatened as she asked herself for the hundredth time what the secret might be. If she knew, they wouldn’t have died, and if she figured it out then it might not satisfy the reason she couldn’t save Kikyo.
She tried to think of what might help. Anger wasn’t the answer, and the adrenaline while they sparred didn’t seem to help either. Did Vincent know something she didn’t?
He was already in mid swing when she looked up, just blocking his unannounced attack. The sound of wooden staffs cracking against one another filled the area and she moved to keep up with him. This wasn’t Vincent. He never came at her like this. His goal all winter had been to center her and allow her time to find herself.
Why was he doing this?
Brute strength beat her back until she twisted to the side and shoved him forward. “What the hell?” she exclaimed.
He turned without speaking, rushing her again. Liam sat forward, confusion written across his face.
“Focus Kiuno!” Vincent caught her ribs. Hard. She rolled to the ground wincing and barely pulled the staff up to block a downward strike. The impact stung her hands and she ground her teeth.
“Are you trying to kill me?”
“If that were the case, you’d already be dead. You are your worst enemy. You’re the one preventing the magic.”
“What are you talking about?” She shoved him, and his staff came up, just missing her chin. She took a few steps back, trying to catch her breath.
“I’ve waited, hoping you’d figure it out on your own. Spring is here, and I can’t allow you to leave until I know you can defend yourself to your fullest potential. What happens if you need that magic and it doesn’t work a second time? What if you can’t protect someone else?”
Her heart dropped, the sinking fear settling in her gut like rotten garbage. She didn’t need her nightmares voiced. “Stop it.”
What was he doing? After all the time he’d spent building her up, why try to tear her down? Why remind her of that pain, like pouring salt on a wound?
“Why do you fight?”
She looked up as he ran to her again and struggled to block the movements. His speed increased as her mind slowed. It was a question that should have been easy to answer, yet—
His staff collided hard with the other side of her ribs, and she jumped back, dodging a second swing before their weapons collided again. “You can do better than that, why do you fight?”
Fear. Doubt. It all lingered, buzzing in her mind like an angry swarm. She fell on her back and threw him over when he sought to pin her. He didn’t hesitate, charging her again and again. Her vision blurred as she was shoved back, hit, shoved back and hit again. Was she not strong enough? Had he been toying with her all along?
“Why do you fight Kiuno?”
“I don’t know!” she screamed. How was she supposed to figure out the reason when he was pounding her into the ground? How could she think when so much threatened to break in her mind?
Vincent paused, the pair breathless as they stared at one another. “Then Elliott and Kikyo died for nothing.”
Her breath hitched, and she finally felt the wall she’d been building crumble to tiny pieces. “How dare you.”
Who was he to insinuate anything? She thought he understood, that he cared. Her doubt shifted to rage, the fear to a burning hatred. They were everything to her. Why would he defile the only thing she had left?
Kiuno rushed forward, anger flaring. Her staff hit his side, and she swept his legs out from under him. She watched him struggle to defend against her onslaught and relished in the pain she inflicted.
“Vincent!” Liam jumped to his feet and ran toward them.
“Stay there,” Vincent commanded. Liam stopped, fear covering his face, but she wouldn’t let up, not until she was satisfied Vincent understood the depth of her loss. She locked eyes with him again, and his strained smirk made her hatred boil.
“You find this funny?” she spat in disgust.
“No, but it worked.”
She was about to retort when a flicker caught her eye. Flames danced around her as they once had, a familiar heat circling her body where she’d previously been cold. Kiuno took a few staggering steps back and let her eyes fall as she watched the shadows. “Is this what you wanted?” Her voice shook. That he’d go that far.
“I didn’t want to hurt you. You’ve always wondered why the flames never responded and grew to believe that anger and fear are what make you strong, but that isn’t true. It’s the desire to protect that drives the magic in you. You carry regret for not being able to save them, but you’ll protect their memories.”
“Then why couldn’t I save him?” she yelled, feeling the guilt crash down.
“You were injured, and magic is complicated. He could use the wind, and perhaps some part of your subconscious believed he could protect himself. When that didn’t happen—”
The staff clattered to the ground, and she sank to her knees, letting the flames die. Was that the secret? After all this time, it was something so simple?
She thought back to the arrow pointed at Kikyo and the man that threatened Elliott. She thought the flames were an instinct to breaking away from Tyler, but her real concern had been for her friends.
When the feline attacked Kikyo, it wasn’t the fear of him being mauled, but her desire to protect him that caused the flames to spark and spiral down her arm. With the slaves, she’d wanted to protect them and feared people she knew might have been captured as well.
Then there was the cabin—despite all the blood, she’d hoped it wasn’t too late, that the cut hadn’t been deep enough, and she still had time…
Vincent knelt in front of her with Liam close behind. “I’m sorry. It wasn’t my intention to dishonor them, but it was the only thing you still have a desire to defend. I hope you can forgive me.” She tried to hide her face. “They died protecting someone they loved, there’s no greater sacri
fice.”
Gathering her courage, Kiuno looked into his eyes. Sympathy. He was the same man she’d spent all those nights crying beside, but still—
Kiuno punched him square in the face.
He fell back, grabbing his nose, the blood already dripping down his chin. “I deserved that.”
She smirked through the tears, knowing he’d be able to heal himself. Looking at her palm, she pulled on the flames, the energy rushing through her body as though a veil had lifted. The fire ignited and spiraled around her hand.
He was right, no one she cared for would die again.
REALM: 4
DAY: 197
Kiuno sighed in frustration. Despite a week of constant practice, she was no closer to controlling the magic. Conjuring it forth was no longer an issue, sending it in a general direction was even easier, but dictating where the flames went thereafter was uncertain at best.
After hours, she collapsed with sweat rolling down her neck. “It’s just not meant to be.” Kiuno looked up at Vincent who was supervising her progress.
He rubbed his chin. “You’ll get it with time.”
No, she knew the real reason, Eldridge told her before. It was uncontrollable and now she understood. Once it left her fingertips, she had no tie to it.
“So, what do I do?” she asked.
“Maintain distance. We both know you’re more than capable of defending yourself by other means.”
Vincent helped her up, and they made their way to his cottage. Due to the nature of fire itself, she trained away from the village, but it didn’t stop a crowd from forming.
Liam jumped from the wall, to a roof and down to join them. “Any luck?”
She shook her head. “Same as always.” The boy pouted.
They gathered by the warm fire that night to share in a final dinner. This would be the last time, at least for a while. Vincent’s group decided to wait before moving forward. It would ensure they wouldn’t get caught in a late snow and that someone would be available to guide anyone left behind.
“I want you to take Liam.”
She stopped eating but wasn’t surprised. The only thing Liam talked about was leaving, getting closer to the front. She suspected he was talking to Vincent behind her back. She looked at the boy and his hopeful expression, the fire glinting in his eyes, and something wrenched in her gut.
“What if I can’t protect him?”
“I can protect myself,” he said. “You’ve been training with me, you know I can. I don’t have magic or anything, but I can still fight, and I promise not to get in the way.”
Kiuno smiled gently. He thought he could defend himself, but it wasn’t people she feared…or maybe it was. There were those that had gone insane and wouldn’t care if a child were their victim.
“Considering your nightmares, it might be wise to take someone who understands,” Vincent added.
She turned to the fire. She still woke screaming on occasion. He’d be able to wake her before the worst of it hit. It wouldn’t do any good to alert an enemy in the middle of the night.
Kiuno sighed and turned back to Liam. “Only if you promise to do exactly as I tell you.”
“I will!” He beamed.
“All right, now that things are settled, go home, pack and get some rest, we’ll see you in the morning,” Vincent said. The boy practically danced out the door, but her smile faded as it shut. There were things she had yet to encounter, monsters she had yet to see.
“Will I be able to take care of him?” He was so young. Maybe she should sneak out before morning. It might hurt him, but at least he would be safe.
“He’d follow you.”
“Reading my mind?”
“I’ve come to know a thing or two. You’ll be fine, in fact I was going to ask if you’d like to travel with a small group.”
She leaned forward. “I didn’t think anyone was leaving.”
“There’s a few ready to move on, they have family and friends just like you that are still missing. They’ll stay in the next town a few days and then move toward the fifth realm. I’m sure they’d be happy to have you along.”
“How far is the next town?”
“Only a day or so depending on how fast you move.”
“I’d be happy to go.” It’d be safer for Liam.
“I’ll let them know in the morning.”
“You’re determined to stay then?” She’d been hoping she could convince him to come along.
“I have an obligation to the people here. We’ll meet again, of that I’m certain.”
“How do you know?”
“Because you won’t be able to stay out of trouble.”
She laughed, and a comfortable silence settled around them.
MORNING CAME too fast, and Kiuno woke before dawn. There was something she needed to do before leaving this realm behind.
It was too early for Liam to join, but that’s how she planned it. This was a trip she had to make alone.
Kiuno stood before the cabin’s burnt remains as the sun peaked over the horizon. The snow had melted, revealing the charred remnants of their memorial.
This was goodbye.
She wouldn’t be able to run past and greet them every morning as she’d been doing all these months. If she were going to tell them anything, now was the time.
So many memories surfaced. So many things left undone. Guilt bubbled in her gut, like something sour that didn’t quite settle. Vincent told her she needed to come to terms if she were to move forward. She needed to accept it, forgiveness would come with time. She just needed something…
“I’ll live,” she finally said. “I’ll do the things you weren’t able.”
She knelt and placed a gentle hand on the wood, silent tears falling as she bid them farewell. She’d imagine the place full of flowers, alive and sweet, like the memories she’d always cherish. She’d imagine them together and tell the world about two men who helped mold her into who she’d become.
I’ll live for you…
LIAM PACED by the gate and looked surprised when she ran down the trail.
“I thought you left.” He crossed his arms and pouted.
“Just had something to take care of.”
His expression softened. “You all right?”
“Yeah, does Vincent have breakfast going?” He nodded and led the way, but not before casting her a backward glance.
They ate the leftovers from last night’s dinner, then collected their things. Kiuno was given a bow and a side pack that contained dried food and various medicinal herbs.
Spring was all around them. The air fresh. Vegetation littered the ground in green clusters, and animals were beginning to emerge from their winter dens.
It was a new beginning.
“Kiuno,” Vincent called. “I have a gift for you.” He disappeared in the cabin for a moment, and she exchanged a glance with Liam. He came back holding a staff like she’d never seen.
“I had someone make it.” She took the weighted weapon, running her hand down the smooth surface.
“How?” She didn’t remember a forger being around, or anyone possessing the skill.
“We have someone who’s capable.” The staff was made of steel. It was cold and heavier than she was accustomed, but nothing she couldn’t acclimate to.
“It’s amazing.” She walked forward and hugged him.
“First embrace I get is the one where I have to tell you goodbye?”
“It’s not too late to come with us.”
He shook his head. “An old man like me would just slow you down. I’ll travel with the slower lot.”
“Don’t wait too long, we’ll need you.”
He nodded, and they walked to the gate and said their final goodbyes. There were about thirty people packed and ready to go with three carts of supplies. She didn’t know what they were carrying, but with all the hunting through winter, animal hides were in abundance.
Horses pawed the ground in anticipation, excit
ed to stretch their legs in the field. They set off. Liam tried to keep Vincent in his sight for as long as possible. Without a father, she wondered if he viewed Vincent as a surrogate.
“You’re welcome to go back,” she offered.
“No way.” He shook his head and she tried to give him a warm smile, but his vision was drawn to the fading town. “He’ll be all right, won’t he?” Liam asked.
“He’s free of your constant pestering, might even be able to get some work done now.” Liam made a face and she laughed. They’d both miss him, but he had promises to keep. This wasn’t the last time they’d see Vincent.
Kiuno used the staff as a walking stick, and they found themselves in the middle of the fields, following a thinning tree line. Before them, the sky met the ground in endless blue. It was nice to see something beyond dreary gray. A gentle breeze swept through the barren area, and she imagined it grazing the grassy tops that were sure to come in summer.
The journey was calm, and the wagons moved faster than she’d predicted. The horses played, shaking their manes and kept their heads high as they enjoyed the warmer weather.
The bumpy road made items shift and she helped with adjustments. Small groups chatted about the fifth realm and what surprises it might hold. Some of their predictions were a little too hopeful, but she could appreciate their optimism.
As the sun started to fall, she jumped into the back of a cart, leaning her head against a soft bundle. The jarring made it difficult to relax, but basking in the sun lulled her into a light sleep, at least until Liam shook her.
“Look,” he whispered, and she followed his finger to the tree line. Concentrating on the barren trunks, she was about to question him when movement caught her eye. Kiuno leaned forward, grabbing her staff before jumping to the ground.
Whatever they were, they were quick and scurried along the ground in clusters. It wasn’t until they were almost upon them that she heard the clicking and it sent her hair on end.