by Zane Menzy
In delicate motion, he had rolled away from Damon’s arms, got dressed back into his running gear, left a note for him and went home. As soon as he was in his car Matt played the radio as loud as it could go, blaring some cheesy pop track. Even once he got home happy songs jingled in his head like a juke box.
Matt sat down at the table with his hot cup of coffee and contemplated how to spend what was left of his Saturday. He figured he should probably go see Jason and go over some of the stuff on his wish list for the wedding. As he sat sipping away, rowdy footsteps burst into the room and he looked up to find Keegan and Garth appear in the kitchen wearing togs and towels draped over their wet shoulders.
“Good to see you had enough energy to go for a swim today,” Matt said pointing at them. “I thought you’d both spend the day with your heads in a bucket.”
“Nar, Dad. We didn’t get that hammered.”
“Yes we did,” Garth blurted. “But we had a wicked breakfast to cure any hangover.”
“I can see that,” Matt murmured.
“Sorry, we’ll clean the mess up.” Keegan glared at his friend, accusingly.
“Sorry, Mr Andrews, I’ll do that now,” Garth said like he was following the orders of Keegan’s disapproving frown.
“You don’t have to do it right this instant,” Matt said. “I am sure the mess isn’t going to kill anyone.”
“Cheers, Mr Andrews,” Garth replied.
Matt grinned. “I’ve told you Garth, you can just call me Matt.”
“Sorry… Matt.” Garth smiled.
“Would you mind if we go out again tonight?” Keegan asked.
“No worries. You can come and go as you please.” He wished secretly Keegan would stay in more but he didn’t want to be that parent. He knew that at eighteen you lived for nights out, not spending an evening in to get to know your father better. Just as both the boys went to leave to get changed, Matt called out, “Keegan, is it okay if I speak with you for a moment?”
Keegan stopped in his tracks. “Yeah.” He looked at Garth, nodding to his friend to go on without him.
“Take a seat,” Matt said. He waited for the sound of Garth’s footsteps upstairs before he started. “I have been wanting to tell you something for a while now.” Matt took a deep breath, forcing himself to continue. He had been wanting to come clean for years but only now did it feel right. “I know you must wonder why I never came and saw you as much as I could have.”
“Oh no, you’re about to have the conversation, aren’t you?”
“What do you mean the conversation?” Matt asked.
“The one where you tell me why you never came to visit and how sorry you are.”
Matt gulped. “Umm.”
Keegan buried his face with his hands. “It’s okay, Dad, we really don’t need to have that conversation.”
“But I feel like I owe you an explanation… an apology.”
Keegan lowered is hands to the table. “I really don’t need one. It’s okay.”
“I don’t think it is okay,” Matt said
“Dad, I don’t need a heart to heart just so you can make yourself feel better.”
The words stung Matt like a bee.
Keegan’s eyes widened like he hadn’t meant to say what he did. “Sorry I didn’t mean—”
“No. don’t apologise. Maybe it is selfish of me to apologise for being selfish.” Matt sighed. “I just wanted you to know that it wasn’t because I didn’t care about you or anything like that it was just…”
The room drifted into silence. “Just?” Keegan asked reluctantly.
Matt scratched at his chest, taking his time to answer, thinking of the answer. “When I left your mum, we weren’t happy. We really weren’t.” Matt laughed to himself thinking about Marie and how they had gone from loved-up to loathing in a heartbeat. “Your mum couldn’t stand me. Nothing I did was ever right—which is probably true cos I didn’t have a clue how to raise a baby.”
“I don’t think she did either but she did a good job,” Keegan said, defending Marie.
“I know she did. She has done an awesome job.” Matt smiled at his son, hoping to fend off any more angst. “Look I was young and stupid. Stupid and selfish. Selfish and… I thought I had things to prove to other people. That I had unfinished business back here. I don’t know why, but I felt like I had to come back and study, work hard and make something of myself.”
“It looks like you did,” Keegan said coolly.
“Yeah, but I regret not doing it while being closer with you. I should have tried harder.”
“Maybe,” Keegan mumbled. “Why didn’t you come down once you had made something of yourself.” The words came out laced in snotty sarcasm. This was the closest to angry Keegan was probably going to get. In a way, Matt wished Keegan would scream at him, throw a punch, do something that would help clear the debt of eighteen years of neglect.
“I don’t know,” Matt answered. “I think I was scared. I always seemed too busy to make the time those early years and by the time you were at school, I was too embarrassed to come down and show my face. Then I moved overseas and spent even more time away… farther away. By then, I was worried what your mum and grandparents would say to me. And they would have been entitled to say anything.”
“Yep. They have plenty to say. Mum not so much but definitely Nana and Pop.” Keegan nodded. “They really don’t like you.”
“I can imagine.” Matt flicked his eyes down at the floor and chuckled. “They weren’t big fans of me even when I was with your mum.”
“How come?”
“They thought your mum could do better.” Matt stared back at Keegan. “Between you and me I tend to agree with them.”
“Yeah, Mum says she was out of your league.”
“She still is, I bet.”
Keegan’s young face gave into a smile and small laughter that made Matt feel better.
“Anyway, Keegan, I want you to know I am sorry for the past. I regret not giving you my time and you missing out on having a father around.”
Keegan bit down on his lip like he was contemplating what he was about to say. “I don’t mean to be rude, Dad, but I don’t feel like I missed out on anything by you not being around.”
Matt wasn’t sure to be hurt or relieved. “You don’t?”
Keegan shook his head. “Like you said, Mum did an awesome job.”
Matt rolled his eyes over Keegan. The boy looked so much like Marie it wasn’t funny but underneath the golden locks and handsome features was a quieter personality, one that reminded Matt of himself. He kept staring, lost in the moment of seeing a piece of himself in his son.
“You’re looking at me weird,” Keegan said.
“Sorry. I’m just so happy you’re here.” Matt rubbed his eyes, trying to hold back his happiness that threatened to leak down his face.
“All good,” Keegan mumbled, breaking the intense gaze.
“I was just so worried that you’d be angry with me and—”
“Dad, lets drop it. This heart to heart is bordering on child abuse,” Keegan joked.
Matt smiled. He stood up from his chair and walked around to where Keegan was sitting. “Stand up,” he asked.
“Why?”
“So I can inflict one last bit of child abuse with a hug.”
Keegan grimaced. “Do we really have to?”
Matt hitched his eyebrows up.
“Fine,” Keegan groaned with a heave of his shoulders, slowly getting to his feet.
Matt wrapped his arms around his son. “I love you.” As he said it, Matt realised he had never told his son this.
Keegan was stiff in the embrace at first before capitulating and hugging back. “I love you too, Dad.”
Hearing those words was like a shot of adrenalin, Matt squeezed Keegan tighter. “Thank you.” He closed his eyes and kept hugging, reluctant to let go.
“Uh, you can let go now, Dad,” Keegan whispered, patting his father’s back.
&n
bsp; Matt let him go and stepped backwards, smiling. Keegan’s face returned an awkward grin. He quickly darted out of the room, disappearing upstairs to get changed. Matt sat back down with his coffee. He didn’t think he could be any happier after his night at Damon’s but here he was, feeling even better than before. Nothing was going to break this wave of happiness.
Absolutely nothing.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
The chat with his father was cringeworthy. The kind of mush that should be kept to the confines of cheesy sitcoms. Keegan had worried his father would pounce on the opportunity to have this sort of talk. He raced out of the kitchen leaving the cringeworthy moment and his smiling father behind. Keegan wasted no time in hauling his arse upstairs to use the ensuite attached to his bedroom and wash off the stubborn sand still clinging to his body.
As Keegan let the warm water pour over him, he let his mind mull over the day spent with Garth at the beach. Their dunk in the sea had cooled their bodies of heat but also cooled the connection that had burned between them in the bedroom. After being snapped by Keegan’s grandfather, Garth had gone downstairs and made them both a delicious breakfast. Together they had sat on the bed, devouring the tonne of food on their plates. Garth dropped sprinklings of compliments Keegan’s way throughout the meal, constantly telling him how sexy he looked.
Secretly, Keegan wanted his pal to continue pumping his ego up the rest of the day—saying sweet complimentary things—but as soon as they’d finished breakfast and got dressed for a day out at the beach, Garth changed. The cocky laid back dude was still confident and laidback, but he didn’t mention a thing about what had happened in the bedroom. Not one bloody thing. If anything, Garth had gone out of his way to reinforce his hetero side by perving at every bikini-clad babe who happened to pass them on the beach.
It pissed Keegan off that the compliments dried up, but he refused to say anything. If Garth knew it bothered Keegan then that would feel like he wasn’t in control. Keegan needed control.
He lathered up some body wash, scrubbing his armpits and between his legs. Touching his dick made him think of Garth’s mouth sucking him. A familiar horny ripple splashed Keegan’s loins. He looked down at his skinny feet, grazing his eyes up his dripping legs till he focused on his drenched, stiffening cock. He laced his fingers around his tool and began to pull, closing his eyes as he imagined having his wicked way with Garth. It didn’t take long for him to get fully erect, he placed a hand against the wall and bowed his head, grunting as he tugged at a furious pace. Keegan was about to gasp and shoot his load when the squeak of the door opening made him loose his focus, he let go of himself and spun ‘round to see Garth walk inside the bathroom.
“You gave me a fucking heart attack,” Keegan panted, holding his chest.
“Are you sure it was me and not playing with your cock that did that?” Garth smirked.
“I wasn’t playing with my cock… I was washing myself,” Keegan lied.
Garth leant against the bathroom wall. He pointed towards Keegan’s crotch, which was visible through the glass shower door. “Really? So it just got big and hard from the feel of the water, did it?”
“Whatever,” Keegan muttered, dropping his hands to try and cover his erection.
“Settle down, blondie, we all play with ourselves.”
“Yeah but we don’t all like being busted while we do it.”
“I know what you mean. My parents busted me all the time growing up. I was never too wise at listening out for footsteps.” Garth laughed. “The worst time was when Mum busted me on my bed trying to bend down and suck my own cock.”
“Why doesn’t that story surprise me.”
“Oh, come on. Don’t tell me you never tried.” Garth hitched his eyebrows up. “I bet with a dick as big as yours you probably could suck yourself.
Well not suck but I can lick the tip. Keegan wasn’t going to share that detail though. “As much as I’d love to stand here naked and talk to you about your wanking history, I’d appreciate it if I could finish having a shower in peace.”
“Why are you worried about me seeing you naked?”
“Because I am naked.”
“Considering I sucked your cock last night I thought I’d maybe earnt shower watching privileges.”
Hearing Garth say that was weirdly flattering. “Watching me shower is a privilege?”
“It sure is.” Garth scratched the back of his neck then lowered his voice, “I wouldn’t mind if you wanted to keep jacking off.”
“I didn’t think you’d be interested.”
“Why wouldn’t I be?”
Keegan shrugged. “Dunno. Just thought you’d be too busy fantasising about all the chicks you raped with your eyes at the beach today.” As soon as Keegan said it he knew how jealous he sounded. “Not that I care.”
“Aww, I think somebody does care just a little bit,” Garth said in a cutesy voice. He stepped forward ‘till he was standing right at the shower door. “Did someone get an incy wincy bit jealous?”
“No,” Keegan scoffed, looking away.
Garth tapped on the glass, trying to get Keegan’s attention. “Tell me the truth and I’ll tell you something true in return.”
Keegan flicked his eyes back to Garth. “What’s something true that you’ll tell me?”
“Nope. You tell me first—honestly—did you get jealous when I was looking at the girls down at the beach?”
Keegan bit down on his lip. Don’t tell him.
“You’re hesitating,” Garth said, smiling.
“Fine. I confess. I was jealous. Shoot me.” Keegan let out a shy laugh. “Happy now?”
Garth’s smile was immediate. “I am. Very happy. I knew one night with me and you’d be hooked.” He raised his shirt, rubbing his tummy. “You just can’t get enough of this hotness.”
Keegan rolled his eyes. “What were you going to tell me in return?”
“Okay so my truth is...” Garth dropped his shirt back down, pausing like he waited for a drum roll. “I may have been perving at all those chicks on purpose. Like a couple of them were hot, but I was only doing it to see if you’d react.” He grinned, looking pleased with himself. “And looks like it worked.”
“What worked? How is making me jealous a good thing?”
“Because, blondie, it means that you like me. Like Really like me.” Garth pressed his face to the glass door and licked his tongue up it.
Keegan laughed at the ridiculous manoeuvre and splashed water against the door. “So you think I really like you?”
“Yep. People only get jealous if they have feelings for the person.”
Keegan looked down at Garth’s pants and a bulge that was beginning to grow. “Is it safe for me to assume that he likes me too.”
Garth groped himself and nodded. “This fella really likes you.”
“Okay then. What about you?” Keegan pointed at Garth’s face.
“I think you’re a bit of alright,” Garth downplayed. “I tend to agree with my cock on most things. He’s the one with all the brains.”
Keegan snorted. “You’re such a dork.”
“But I’m your dork.”
Keegan smiled and continued to scrub his body. The room went quiet. The only noise came from the rushing water of the shower. It drowned out anything too serious lurking between them in the misty space.
Garth finally said, “Why didn’t you say anything at the beach if you were getting annoyed.”
“I wasn’t getting annoyed.”
Garth shot him a condescending look. “Sorry. Let me rephrase it then; why didn’t you say anything if you were feeling jealous. You could have said something and I would have stopped.”
“You’re not my boyfriend. You’re free to do what you like.”
“I am your pretend boyfriend though,” Garth said. “That gives you some rights.”
“Does it now?”
Garth narrowed his eyes in an approving glare.
“So I could have mad
e a big scene and packed a wobbly in front of other people and outed you?” Keegan laughed.
“What do you mean outed?” Garth said derisively. “Out. In. Fuck that shit. If I like someone, I like someone.”
Keegan decided to test Garth’s beliefs. “You’d hold hands with a guy in public?”
“Yep,” Garth fired back. “Especially if it was you.”
“Bullshit,” Keegan scoffed. “You’d be too scared.”
“Scared of what?”
“Reactions. What people say or do when they saw us?”
“No I wouldn’t. I told you this morning. I’d never be ashamed to be seen with someone like you,” Garth’s words danced around the room, romancing the hell out of Keegan. “I kissed you in the bar, remember?”
“Yeah. A gay bar. Not a straight bar.”
“I’d kiss you in a straight bar too.”
“You would?” Keegan spluttered.
“I’d kiss you in front of anyone, anywhere. No fucks would take flight and no shits would be given.”
“Bullshit.”
“Do you not believe me?”
“I didn’t say that.”
“I’ll prove it tonight. You tell me when and where and I’ll grab your face and shove my tongue down your sexy throat.” Garth’s eyes widened, egging Keegan on. “We can go down and do it in front of your dad right now if you like?”
“Nope. It’s quite alright.” Keegan cringed at the scenario of making out with Garth in front of his father. “I’ll take your word for it.”
Garth sniggered. “Chicken.”
“You just want an excuse to kiss me again.”
“And what?” Garth wasn’t denying anything. “I like kissing you and I like to do things I like.”
Keegan admired the way his pretend boyfriend stood so relaxed, he focused on Garth’s lips. “So if I say, ‘kiss me,’ you’ll kiss me wherever?”