by Laura Pavlov
I reached for his dress shirt, unbuttoning each button, and he tugged it off, tossing it to the floor. He stood there, completely naked, and I couldn’t look away. He was so beautiful. Sculpted muscles, tan skin, tall and lean. Sure, I’d seen him before. We’d bathed together. I’d slept naked in his arms. Yet, it was like the earth was shifting beneath us. We were taking this to the next level. And I was so ready. Ready for everything that came with it. If it bit me in the ass, so be it. It would still be worth it. I couldn’t stop this freight train if I wanted to.
He leaned down and unzipped my dress before pulling me to my feet. “Too many clothes. I want you naked. Now.”
I giggled as my dress puddled at my feet. He had my bra and panties off in seconds. I stepped back until the backs of my knees hit the bed, and I fell onto the mattress. He propped himself above me.
“You sure you’re ready for this?” he asked, his voice gruff.
“I’m positive. Condom?”
He chuckled. His lips pressed to my neck. “Slow down there, baby. I’ve never waited so long for someone. I’m going to take my time.”
I laughed. “You’ve been touching me for weeks.”
“But I didn’t know it was going to end with me buried inside you. That changes everything.” Oh my god. This was happening. His lips moved down my neck, tasting and torturing every inch of me.
He buried his face between my thighs, and I was lost in this man. I writhed beneath him. Needing more. Needing everything. The orgasm so powerful, I screamed out his name as tears streaked down my face. He moved up and propped himself above me, swiping at the liquid running down my cheek.
“You okay, Little Bird?”
“Yes,” I said, surprised as my voice cracked and my words broke on a sob. “This is just—intense.”
“What is?”
“These feelings that I have for you. I haven’t had them before. It’s foreign to me,” I admitted before he pulled me on his chest and wrapped his arms around me.
“It’s new for me too, baby.”
I swiped at my face and wiped away the last of the tears. “Well, this is sexy, huh? I’m blubbering about my feelings before we even have sex.”
“It’s the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen.” His voice was raw. Honest. “Telling me you feel the same way I do. It was worth the wait.”
He kissed me hard, and I reached down between us, gripping his throbbing erection. “No more waiting.”
He flipped me on my back and reached over to his nightstand and grabbed a condom. He pushed up to sit on his heels while he covered himself. I watched in absolute amazement. This big, beautiful man wanted me as much as I wanted him. I’d never wanted anyone like this. Never felt anything close to what I felt for Jack.
I tried to push those thoughts away. My instinct was to run—to protect my heart because feeling this way was terrifying. But I wasn’t going anywhere. I was going to enjoy every moment, for as long as he stuck around.
He chuckled as he leaned forward, settling between my legs. He moved slowly, as if he were savoring every moment, as he filled me, inch by glorious inch.
“Fucking perfect, Blue Jay.” His eyes were closed, and he groaned his words.
I gripped the sheets in my fists as I savored the most erotic feeling of my life. It was both pleasure and pain. Too much and not enough. And I wanted more. I wanted everything.
He moved slowly, allowing my body to adjust to his size. The pain dissipated as we started to move in sync, and oh my god—nothing had ever felt so good.
“Jesus, baby. You were made for me,” he said, rolling us over so that he was on his back and I was on top.
His hands gripped my hips as he guided me at first, before I took control. The feeling so overwhelming, my body moved of its own volition. Faster and faster. His hands found mine and our fingers intertwined as I rode him into oblivion.
I yelled out my release, and he went right over the edge along with me, calling out my name as my body fell limp on top of him.
“Holy shit,” he grumbled against my neck.
I couldn’t speak as I lay on top of him gasping for air. He wrapped his arms around me and held me tight.
Once I came down to Earth, he tipped me on my back and pulled out slowly, tugging the condom off and walking to the bathroom to dispose of it. He came back to bed and pulled me on his chest once again.
“You okay?”
“I’m great.” I pushed up to meet his whiskey-colored gaze. “You?”
“Never fucking better.”
My head fell back in laughter. A part of me had worried that maybe I wouldn’t be enough for him. He was more experienced than me, no doubt about it, but we just fit. In and out of the bedroom. And maybe that was the most surprising thing about it.
“What are you thinking?” I asked as he studied me intently.
“That I want to do that again.”
I chuckled, reaching for the clasp on my locket and setting it on his nightstand. “Well, you are the boss. So, if you think we’ve got time, who am I to argue?”
With those words, he tipped me on my back and buried his face in my neck. I arched into him, needing him in a way I couldn’t put into words.
I should be terrified. But the only thing I felt was—happy.
“Hey, Dad,” I said as he stood and pulled out a chair for me. My father and I met every other Friday for lunch. Just the two of us. Even when I was in college, he’d meet me near campus. It was the only time I got to see him without Thelma because she had a standing nail appointment every Friday.
Praise the Lord for small miracles.
Miles was meeting us today as he was in town for a meeting.
“Hi, sweetheart. You look good, kiddo.” He kissed my cheek before pushing my chair in. “Miles is running late, so he sent me his order because I know you need to get back to work.”
The popular restaurant buzzed with chatter and laughter. Servers hurried from table to table, but we were seated in the back corner per my father’s request, so it was a bit quieter here. A few people gaped at him when we first walked in. I was used to it. He handled it with such grace, taking his time to greet people and sign autographs when they requested it. But sitting in the back definitely meant that we could have a conversation without being disrupted.
“Thanks,” I said, shaking off the thought of the kiss Jack had sent me off with. It had been a few days since the first time we’d had sex, and to say we’d been making up for lost time was an understatement. I was floating on a cloud twenty-four hours a day. I’d never felt like this.
“What’s going on with you? You look different,” my father said before we paused to place our order.
“Just happy, I guess. Work’s going great.”
“Good, honey. You know your mom would be so proud of you if she could see you now.”
His words took my breath away. We didn’t speak about my mother often. It just seemed to make everyone sad, so it was always the elephant in the room. The topic we avoided.
“Thank you. That means a lot to me.”
“She was driven, just like you. So damn focused. You get your work ethic from her. You know me and Miles prefer to enjoy life a bit more.” He laughed and I sipped my iced tea as I watched him. His face lit up when he spoke about my mom.
“Tell me about how you met her. We’ve never talked about it. I mean, I know you met her in college, but I don’t know the details.”
He nodded. “Have I never told you this?” I shook my head no and he continued. “Well okay, your mom was something. The most beautiful girl I’d ever seen. Still is today, aside from you.” He winked. “You’re the spitting image of her. Catches me by surprise sometimes. And she wanted nothing to do with me. I had a bit of a reputation on campus, you know, I thought I was hot shit back then.”
My parents had both attended UCL
A and my father was the star quarterback. My brother attended the rival school and played for USC and they loved to razz one another about it.
“Go on.” I giggled. I loved hearing this.
“I wore her down, because I swear to God, from the moment I laid eyes on her, I didn’t want anyone else. It was always her. She was apprehensive, but over time she came to trust me. I had to show her I was serious, but it eventually happened. And that was it for me. She was it for me.”
I nodded. It was sweet to hear him talk about her. He dated such different women since she passed that it confused me. “You haven’t felt that way about your other, er, wives?”
His head tipped back, and he chuckled. “No, sweetheart. I think there are different types of love. She was my one great love. My soulmate. I never believed in that shit before your mom. She gave me you and Miles, which kept me going after I lost her. And sure, I’m not a man who likes to be alone, so I’ve found partners that are with me for the same reasons I’m with them.”
I tilted my head to look at him. “Which is?”
“Companionship. That’s all I’m really looking for these days. Until I’m reunited with your mother.”
My jaw fell open. He’d never been so open. How had we never discussed this?
“Wow. I had no idea. I always wondered why you dated the women that you did, to be honest.” I shrugged. “I mean, the way you described Mom made her sound so—different.”
“There’s no replacing the other half of your heart, honey. That’s why I didn’t care much for that herb kid you dated all those years. There was nothing there. I want you to have what I shared with your mother. You’ll know it when you find it.”
My stomach dipped at his words.
“How did you know she was the one?”
“Because I missed her when we were apart for just minutes. She made me a better man. Loved me more than I loved myself. I couldn’t get enough of her, even after all the years we’d been together. I’m guessing you didn’t feel any of that with what’s-his-face.” He laughed and I rolled my eyes.
“No. I think I settled with Thyme. He was safe because our feelings didn’t run all that deep. I figured he couldn’t hurt me, although I learned that even if it wasn’t an amazing relationship it still hurt to be cheated on. But I’m not much of a dater, so I think I just liked having someone to call my significant other, even if it wasn’t magical. It was easy.”
“Well, of course it hurt, sweetheart. Betrayal by anyone is painful. But it didn’t gut you—it hurt your ego. That’s different. You’ll know when it’s special because you’ll be questioning the way you feel every single step of the way. It’ll be foreign and scary but wonderful at the same time. Trust me. You’ll find it.” He just summed up my feelings for Jack in a nutshell. My heart raced at the thought. I didn’t want to go there, allow myself to think I could have those things with him, and end up disappointed. As if he could read my thoughts, he continued. “Whatever happened with Jack Montgomery? I’ve always liked him. Thelma told me you two broke up?”
I didn’t want to lie to my father. I’d already allowed him to think the relationship was real when it was fake, and now I didn’t know what it was. And it terrified me.
“Sorry I’m late. Did you order?” Miles interrupted and I was grateful.
“Hey,” Dad and I said in unison.
Miles patted Dad on the shoulder and kissed the top of my head before taking his seat.
“What did I miss? Catch me up.” Miles reached for a roll from the bread-basket, and chugged half of his beer while he waited for a response.
Dad chuckled. “Guess someone’s hungry. Well, we were actually just chatting about your mom.”
Miles narrowed his gaze. “Good. We don’t talk about her enough.”
“And I was telling Monroe that her ridiculous ex wasn’t good enough for her,” Dad said, with a wink as the waiter set our plates down.
“Herb boy? Couldn’t stand the dude. You can do so much better. He was boring as hell.” My brother shrugged before picking up his burger and taking an enormous bite.
“Yeah, agreed. I was just asking her about Montgomery. I was surprised that you were on board with them dating, but I think he’s a great guy.”
Miles choked on his food and I patted his back and laughed. He took a long pull from his beer. “Jesus. Did we never clear that up with you? We made that shit up, Dad. Sorry, but your overzealous wife was being a bit relentless to Monroe about coming to her birthday dinner alone. So, they both agreed to go along with it. But then she posted that shit all over social media and Mon and Jack had to play along for a few weeks. It was fake. That’s why I was okay with it. I’d kick his ass if he touched her otherwise.”
Now it was my turn to cough. First off, he’d just outed us to my father who I’d never lied to before. Second, I actually was sleeping with his best friend, and seeing how angry he got at just the thought made me cringe.
“Sorry, Dad,” I winced. “It was Miles’ fault. Please don’t tell Thelma, it’s a bit humiliating that I had to make up having a boyfriend.”
“I won’t say a word, sweetheart. But you should never feel like you have to pretend to have a boyfriend to come home. But I actually thought you and Jack seemed happy together. Your fake relationship was a hell of a lot better than your real relationship.”
Wasn’t that the truth.
Miles chuckled. “Jack’s my best friend. But if he ever hurt Mon, he’d be dead to me. Be thankful it was fake. The dude is a heartbreaker.”
I sucked in a long breath at his words. My phone vibrated on the table and I glanced down to see a text.
Jack ~ Longest lunch ever. Miss you, Blue Jay.
I sucked in a long breath and dropped my phone in my purse. It had been forty minutes since I’d seen him, and I missed him too. What was I doing letting myself fall for him?
I was playing with fire.
And if you played with fire you were going to get burned.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Jack
We arrived in Lake Tahoe a few days before Thanksgiving, and I was happy that Monroe had agreed to come. The slopes were covered in fresh snow, the sun was out, and the air was crisp. It was a perfect day to ski.
“Jesus, Blue Jay, slow your ass down,” I shouted from behind her.
The girl gave me a run for my money on the slopes, and it shocked the shit out of me. Her hot little ass swooshed from side to side in her white ski outfit as she moved at mac speed down the hill.
She made a sharp turn at the bottom, spraying snow up behind her as she came to an abrupt stop. She raised her goggles and burst out in laughter. “Are you winded, old man?”
I unclipped my skis and yanked her against me. “Not at all. Just worried about you getting hurt.”
She tipped her head back and kissed me before she fell back in the snow and I braced our fall with my hands. I wanted to take her right there. Now that I’d had her, I wanted more. I couldn’t get enough of this girl.
“Get a room,” Ford barked as he made a hard turn and stopped inches from us, shooting snow all over the back of my head.
Asshole.
“Don’t need one.” I pushed to my feet and helped Monroe to hers. Her skis had come loose, and she reached over to grab them.
“Where’s Harley?” she asked. Monroe, Harley, and Laney Mae had been spending a lot of time together since we arrived earlier in the week, and I was glad to see how well the three of them got along. Like they’d known one another for years.
Monroe Buckley just fit well everywhere. My sisters-in-law loved her, my brothers adored her, and my mother and her had formed a friendship over the past few days as I found them sipping coffee alone every morning out by the fire. They were the first ones up, and Monroe said she looked forward to that time with my mom. I had to remind myself several times when I’d
pouted because she was gone from our bed in the morning, that she’d grown up without a mother, and she craved that maternal connection. And my mom was the rock star of all mothers, so who better to share her with.
“She’s coming. No one can keep up with you two. It’s ridiculous,” Ford said, looking up at the hill for his wife.
“Oh my,” Monroe said as she spotted Harley making her way down, snowplowing the entire way. Harley was new to the sport, still nursing two babies, and she did not appear to be enjoying this at all. We all chuckled as she came to a rolling stop. She didn’t have enough speed to need to put in much effort to halt her forward movement.
“I hate this. I’m cold. I’m hungry. And my breasts are engorged because those two humans you put in me won’t stop eating,” she hissed when she yanked off her goggles and we all burst out in laughter.
“Baby, you’ll get the hang of it. Let’s try one more time,” Ford said.
“Baby, if you ever want to have sex with me again, you need to cut me loose. I love you, but I hate this. And Monroe, what the actual hell? How did you learn to ski like that?”
“My father and brother tortured me most of my life dragging me out on the slopes on vacation and forcing me to keep up with them. I’ve been skiing since I was a little girl, so I’ve had years of practice.”
Always so humble.
Ford stepped out of his skis and moved toward Harley, wrapping his arms around her middle. “How about lunch, guys?”
“Yeah, Harrison just texted me to meet them in the lodge,” I said.
“Lunch I can handle. And then I’ll get back to the house and relieve your mom from baby duty,” Harley said, moving beside Monroe and leading us to the restaurant.
Laney Mae and Harrison waved us over and we joined them. Monroe was dressed for the arctic and she pulled off her white beanie with the pompom and her ski coat. I wrapped an arm around her, rubbing my hand against her sweater-covered shoulder to warm her up.
“How was it? Laney and I are going to make a few runs this afternoon. Doubt we’ll get out tomorrow at all.” Harrison set his menu down and we all paused to place our order.