Maybe I was.
Sometime later, I was dressed for the day in a color I hadn’t worn since I was last on Fae Islands: navy blue. The king thought his people should all wear similar colors to show unity, but I had always thought it was more about seeing just how far he could control everyone.
From what I remembered, only those on West Island, or visiting fae, wore the bland color. So, if I wanted to blend in, then that was what I needed to do as well. I wasn’t ready for King Zephyr to know I’d arrived. He needed to suffer beyond comprehension before that happened.
Neva arrived with two trunks. “This should be most of it. I can go back for more if you’re looking for something more particular.”
“I’m not sure what I’d do without you,” I said honestly.
She grinned. “You’d make a mess of things and have to kill a lot more people.”
She wasn’t wrong. It had been my life before stumbling upon her.
“Where is Mr. Finn?” she asked, glancing around the living room.
Neither him, Ivy, nor Maddox had returned, but I didn’t mind. Some time apart for all of us was probably a good idea.
“Last I heard, he was cleaning up fae guts from his bunker,” I replied.
She shook her head and sighed.
“What?” I asked, knowing I shouldn’t.
“Nothing.” She bent toward one of the trunks, but I walked to her and kicked it away.
“You’re not a slave, Neva. Say your piece.”
She nodded curtly and met my gaze for a moment before stepping back and taking a seat on the couch. I did the same, but across the room in my comfy chair.
“So, what has you disappointed in me this hour?” I inquired.
“I’m assuming you’d like me to be frank?” I nodded and she continued, “Well, it’s not disappointment. It’s frustration.”
I chuckled. “How do I frustrate you, little elf?”
“Over the last couple of weeks, even before Finn arrived, you’ve been changing. You’re not happy, and when you find something that could change that, I can see how much you want it, but instead of taking the chance, you attempt to destroy it. Even the little things like the flower stand you nearly destroyed after a happy couple stood beside you gushing about their engagement. That sort of reaction isn’t normal.”
I wanted to laugh and snarl at the same time. She had no idea what she was talking about.
“It’s very normal for me. I’m a dark fae. The warm and fuzzies won’t ever be something that makes me happy. Destroying, taking justice no matter the cost, and having no remorse for my actions is who I had to be to survive my life under the king’s roof. While he doesn’t control me any longer, I can’t change who I became because of my time spent there, and neither can you.”
She smiled softly. “I know I can’t, and I didn’t stay with you so I could. I stayed with you, because I can see the war you fight within yourself and I want to be there when the winner is chosen. Because if I’m right, no matter how bad it gets before it’s over, the hell you’ll go through will be worth it.”
I laughed again, more like cackled. “Oh, Neva. How I wish I could live in your fantasy land. Regardless of why you made your choice, I will admit, I’m glad you stayed.”
She didn’t smile or laugh with me. She didn’t even shake her head like normal. The elf merely stared at me in disappointment.
“What?” I bit out when she didn’t look away.
“Maybe I’m wrong, but I really hope I’m not.”
Her words lit a fire within me, and my ire rose. I stood and stalked toward her while magic spilled from my pores, and my wings extended as the hold on my control diminished.
“I’m done, Neva. I’ve been nice because I care for you, but if you try to guilt me into being something I’m not, you won’t like who I become.”
By that time, I was in her face, but she didn’t even flinch. Instead, she lifted her eyes, challenging me. “I’m not sure you would, either.”
Before I said something that I couldn’t take back, I turned on my heel, pulled my wings closer, and stormed out the door. My anger was at an all-time high, but I ignored who it was really directed at. If I dug too hard into the emotions I didn’t really understand, then I would be forced to face the things I’d put off for so long.
Neva had a way of trying to make me see things in a different light, but now was not the time. I couldn’t afford to break down my very core of who I’d been for years right when I was supposed to rely on myself to kill the king.
Even if I wanted to change, even if I thought it wasn’t the worst idea to explore whatever had been going on inside me lately, I couldn’t do that and complete the task before me.
Once outside, I threw my hands in the air and let the rumble in my chest build into a snarl before considering a long healthy scream. I paced the yard, then made my way toward the orchards. I needed to be alone and clear my head.
I’d agreed to help, and I was a fae of my word. Out of all the bad I’d done in my life, I’d never once backed out of a commitment, but damn if I didn’t want to right then.
Fly away and don’t turn back. It’s not too late. We will regroup and come back to the finish without distraction.
Gods, I wanted to murder that voice. It had always been lingering, but it had gotten more demanding lately. Nothing like having an inner voice that drove me batshit crazy.
My wings were still out and twitched with the need to soar in the sky, but I knew that if I did that, I’d end up listening to that voice. I’d never come back.
I had enough demons on these islands to smother; I didn’t need to create more by giving up when things got complicated.
That was all this was, a complicated situation I just needed to simplify. No more friends. No more playing nice. No more pushing that sexy fae to his breaking point. I’d come here for a job, and that was what I needed to focus on. Nothing more, nothing less.
Just as I’d begun to calm down, leaves crunched from behind me. I shot a stream of magic out of my hand as I turned around, uncaring who might be in my path. If they were stupid enough to approach without making themselves known, they deserved to be zapped.
My teal magic arced around Finn as my eyes took him in. His shirt was off, and he had blood smeared above his arched brow. His eyes glowed around the edges, and I lost myself in the depth of charcoal for a moment until he stalked toward me, his intent becoming clear.
“What are you doing, Finn?” I asked.
He grunted and mumbled, but I didn’t understand a word. With every step, the gap between us closed. After my revelation just literal seconds before, I knew I should back away. Finn wasn’t angry with me. He had a hunger in his eyes I’d certainly seen before, though never like this with him. This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. I was going to leave the sexy fae alone. I was going to do my job and get the hell away from these people who made me feel.
Then, Finn’s strong hands wrapped around my upper arms, and he tugged me against him. “I’m done letting you have the upper hand.”
Chapter 14
While I’d been aware Finn was sexy as hell, I hadn’t known how deliciously sinful he could be until he took real control. His fingers grasped my jaw, his palm pressing just above my neck, and his eyes turned black a split second before his lips captured mine.
Without waiting for permission, his tongue demanded entry, and I eagerly reciprocated while his other hand tangled in my iridescent hair, angling my head to deepen the kiss. Though there were small parts of me that screamed to pull away, I wasn’t missing this.
My wings relaxed, and I pressed closer, enjoying the heat our combined bodies created and the feel of his slicked skin under my palms as I explored him with abandon. My right hand moved around to grab his ass while the other held on to his shoulder. My back ended up pressed against a fruit tree as Finn took what he wanted from me.
Once he was done exploring the depths of my mouth, his lips replaced his fingers as he ventured
across my jaw. Light stubble along his face scratched against mine while his hand stayed around my neck, keeping me in place with just enough pressure that I didn’t feel threatened, only aroused.
As he continued his journey, Finn’s teeth nipped at my shoulders, causing bumps to rise along my exposed skin. Then, he gazed hungrily back up at me. His eyes were still black, and I realized that wasn’t a good thing. Not even for someone like me.
That knowledge was like a bucket of ice water being thrown on us, and my senses returned to normal. Whatever darkness was inside him had taken over and, while I preferred this side of Finn, it couldn’t be controlled from the outside.
I raised my hand to smack reality back into him, but he’d seen the move coming and caught my wrist. “I don’t think so, Lucy. Aren’t you having fun?”
“That I am, but you’re done.” If I couldn’t hit him, I’d zap him. With my right hand still on his ass, I sent a stream of power right through his jeans, scorching him until he backed away.
“What the hell, Lucinda?” he roared, then glared at me with the silver back in his eyes where it belonged.
“I was just thinking the same thing. Care to tell me what happened just now?”
He glanced around, and then down at himself. He was shirtless and rocking an impressive hard-on. “What did you do to me?” he snarled.
I waggled my finger at him. “I was out here minding my own business when you came to me. You either let the dark magic in you take over, or your beaver-basher has more control over you than your brain does.”
His head tilted up toward the sky, and he closed his eyes while pacing for several feet. “What happened?”
“Like I said, I was out here minding my own business. You found me, then kissed me like your life depended on it, and I zapped you once I realized you weren’t fully in control. But let’s be honest, even if you weren’t fully aware, you’ve obviously been wanting to do so.” My eyes darted toward his junk, and he adjusted himself so the hard-on wasn’t as noticeable.
“How did you know I wasn’t in control?” he asked.
“Your eyes. They were black instead of charcoal like they normally are when you’re all riled up, but they’re not anymore. More silver than anything. You’re going to have to keep your shit together, or you’re going to get someone killed. Or possibly laid, but that’s not actually a bad thing.”
Okay, I was lying to him and myself. The latter was a bad thing. It made things complicated, and I needed to focus on the task of killing King Zephyr and nothing else.
Not even lickable fae.
Damn, he really needed to put a shirt on.
“Listen, Lucy. We can’t do this. It’s not a good idea.”
He’d used my preferred name, and he wasn’t speaking down to me. It was a rare instance, but I had to agree with him.
“You’re right.”
His eyes widened. “Seriously?”
“Don’t be so shocked. Like I’ve said several times, I’m not a monster. I know how to be reasonable, and before you accosted me, I’d already decided the same thing. Though, unlike you, when a sexy fae wants to show me a good time, I don’t usually say no.”
He sighed, my comment clearly reminding him just who I was. “I’m going to go get cleaned up.”
As he retreated, I watched the muscles of his back, finding myself glancing lower and enjoying the view of his ass cheek where I’d burned through his pants with my magic. “You might want to throw those pants away, too, unless you enjoy a little breeze.”
He stopped, shifted ever so subtly, then his shoulders curved in defeat before he began walking as fast as he could go without running. I chuckled at his response and straightened my own clothes. Since everyone else was busy, maybe it was time for me to act.
If I was going to follow through on my word, it was time to put my plans into motion. The first step required stealth, meaning I didn’t need Finn or anyone else joining me. It was nearing lunch time, and I needed to hurry if I wanted the effects of step one to happen before dinner.
A piece of my hair whipped across my face, reminding me that I wasn’t exactly one to blend in to a crowd with my unique hair color. Unfortunately for me, I wasn’t born with the ability to change my physical features. I could draw out inner beauty like I did with Neva and magic clothes, but transforming body parts was beyond my capabilities.
I was going to need help.
As I headed back to the house, I saw Ivy and Maddox heading in. I wasn’t in the mood to deal with their lovefest, so I held back, thinking about the items Neva brought back and if there was anything in there that would help me.
Another few minutes passed, and I still had no ideas on how I was going to walk through West Island without being recognized. Then, Maddox exited the house and spotted me. I’d hoped since he didn’t really know me, he’d just keep walking, but no such luck.
“Can you really save her?” he asked gruffly.
“No, but if any of you realized there is another whole world just beyond this realm, you’d know it is filled with supernaturals who probably can. Like I told Ivy and Finn, spells aren’t my thing, but I can, and will, kill the king.”
He stared me down. “Even if it kills Ivy?”
“Haven’t you heard? I’m an uncaring monster,” I said sarcastically, even though part of me wanted it to be true. Caring left room for vulnerabilities that could hurt me. “Whatever consequences come from the king’s death don’t matter to me. Ivy apparently doesn’t care either. I was asked to kill the king, and that’s what I’ll do.” And that was the truth I needed to keep at the forefront of my mind as I moved forward.
“Speaking of,” I continued. “I need to do something, but I don’t want anyone to recognize me. You don’t happen to know a fae trustworthy and capable of giving me a bit of a make-under?”
Maddox frowned. “Make-under?”
I moved my hand down my body. “Obviously I don’t need a make-over. I need to be bland and blend in. This face isn’t forgettable.” I’d learned that several times over since I’d hit maturity eight years ago. Sometimes it was a good thing, and others, not so much.
He nodded. “I see. Well, you’re in luck. I can actually help with that. I’m not the best at it, but my mother was, and I inherited the trait from her.”
No, he didn’t have… Oh, he really did. My surprise was clear. He seemed so similar to Finn that I’d expected leather wings to sprout, but that was not at all what I caught sight of.
An interesting mix of blue and green gossamer wings spread from his back, and he held his hand up, fingers wiggling as magic arced around them. “Want me to give it a try?”
I nodded, taking in the thin wings that looked weak, but I knew were nothing of the sort.
As he inched closer, his hand still swirling with magic, he paused. “You swear to kill the king, no matter the consequence, if I help you?”
I eyed him. There was something about the fae I wasn’t liking. He said nothing of his betrothed. His only concern was for the king’s death. That was more than interesting to me. For now, I’d let it slide, but there would be no trusting Maddox beyond the use of abilities. Even that was risky, but I didn’t really have a choice at that moment.
“Of course. I’m a fae of my word,” I replied easily. That was one thing I could never doubt.
He closed the gap between us and placed his palm over my forehead. My eyes shut as soothing magic overtook me, and I wanted nothing more in that ten seconds than to take a nap under the sun.
When Maddox pulled away, he grinned. “That should do the trick.”
I didn’t have a mirror, but I pulled my hair forward. It was the same length, but more of a mousey brown color with no shine. My hands felt my face, yet nothing about it felt different. “What did you do?”
“It’s not a physical change, Lucinda. It’s a glamor. You’re still you. The eyes are just tricked into seeing something that’s not really there. Go find a mirror if you don’t believe me.”
“And you won’t tell them I’m leaving?” I asked.
“So long as they don’t ask me directly. I won’t lie to Ivy and Finn. They’re my family.”
Interesting. That was the first thing he’d said that really made me believe he cared for them.
“Fair enough. I’ll be back in a couple of hours. How long should this last?” I really didn’t want to be standing in the center of the market and have it fade away.
“It will last as long as nobody else injures you with magic, and you can make it go away any time you’d like by placing your palm where mine was and zapping yourself. Or, I can do it for you when you’re back. Whichever you’d prefer.” He shrugged as if he didn’t care, but I could see the smirk hiding. He’d enjoy that a little too much.
“I think I can manage.”
He nodded, and I moved away, not giving him my back until there was at least ten feet between us. Then, I spread my wings and flew. I glanced back to find Maddox already gone. I couldn’t decide if I was more hopeful that he would turn out to be a sneaky bastard I got to kill or if I would be wrong so I could keep using his skill set.
That was a problem for the future. For now, I needed complete focus on the present. I hadn’t been to the castle and marketplace in over three years. Things could have changed, and I needed to blend in. So, there was no room for error in the moves I made.
If I was successful, then I would be out of there within an hour, but I wasn’t naïve enough to believe I’d have no issues.
As my wings flapped faster and harder than they had in a long time, I couldn’t stop the smile that graced my face as I pictured my victory over the man who once tried to break me.
Chapter 15
When I arrived at West Island, I’d thought there would be some sort of fear or dread taking over, but instead, there was only glee. The darkness inside me—that had been seemingly out of control as of late—was even at ease as we flew closer and landed on the ground. Though, I wasn’t sure that was a good thing.
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