by E Kathryn
The hawk swooped low in the direction of Sil’s voice, trusting the empty void as she flew into the barrier. He received her on his right arm, embracing her weight and now really smiling. He smoothed her feathers and frosted them, savoring his time with her since he was leaving soon and he didn’t know when he’d see her again.
Mark’s eyes grew tender to realize all that Sil had done, was just to stay goodbye to his pet and companion. Sil had a deep connection to animals, Mark could see that, coaxing them and understanding them well enough to lure a harmless black snake to become his bird’s dinner. There was something charming about it, if not a little morbid.
Gazing off, Mark’s eyes drifted from Sil and Winter to the expanse of the courtyard and the scampering young Shadows. The young ones played with each other much like Mark’s sister June. Laughing and crying, screaming and squealing, having true fun with no conflict. Their innocence struck him, and he was almost terrified to upset the haven these children had.
In spite of how the ASH was a prison, and how these kids had been stripped from their families, this place was still safe. They could learn to refine their Shadows here, and it was safe to make mistakes.
The boys wrestled around the yard and the girls played among the grass, some gentle, others wild, with no distinction based on gender. The microcosm created by the ASH created a beautiful environment for the Shadows, not like friends with separate families, but miniature sibling dynamics, and unparalleled loyalty.
They were so innocent and completely pure, and while he watched them, he overheard what he could have sworn was singing. Their song seemed hopeful, but it seemed powerful as if they used their Shadow instead of voices. Mark could hear the lyrics from far off, but in his heart, he felt them and their meaning in the same way he felt his Shadow in his heart when he used it.
“A day comes with sorrows and joys,” the first line harmonized with the Shadows. “Light of day, Shadow of hope. When darkness falls on us, we will have hope, when Shadows fall on us, we will remember.” The song built without rhyme, and without a need for poetic structure. “Come now, rest, day meets night, you can rest in hope, you can rest in the Shadow of our Trust.”
How could the Shadows be so happy in this prison? Mark counted the beats of his heart as he saw how desperately the Shadows needed to be free. Tripping in a step, Mark realized he was backing away, hastily turning and running away into the ASH.
Hurriedly Mark made his way down the stairs and stopped in the hall. A temptation in him pushed him toward the lobby, but in the middle of the day there were a handful of Shadows lounging there quietly. He needed to be alone.
Panting from the terror growing in his heart, Mark finally released all the pent-up anger he had been pushing down. A combination of rage and fear spun in his stomach, and the fear he had determined to hide from his heart had finally reappeared. Why on Earth was this the way Shadows were treated? They were people, children, innocents. They didn’t deserve this.
Mark paid little attention to his surroundings, not the few Shadows who saw him nor the flickering scarlet flames trailing from his hands. Continuing down the hall, Mark gazed into his hands, terrified.
He collided with someone, slamming face first into Emilie. Impulsively, he pushed her aside, and ran past her. What good did the ASH do but stop these people from fully controlling their Shadows. Keller was a hypocrite, admitting openly that the ASI kept Shadows from gaining more powers. It was stopping them from growing stronger. The flames in his hands burned hotter. He was so frustrated he was ready to burn the ASH down right now.
Glancing to his left, Mark realized he stood directly beside the sliding door to the infirmary. His heart was like a burning lump in his chest as he turned toward it. This was the secret Keller was keeping, the reason the ASH existed at all. This was where their precious Recluse had lived, and probably where he died. An impulsive rage driving him, Mark stepped up to the door and slid it aside.
He hit a light in the room, illuminating the pair of beds, the shelves of quick medical equipment, and the tiny living area in the back of the room under a small window. Mark jumped, startled, gazing down at his hands upon the light switch, seeing the flickering light at his fingertips blazing hotter than ever. He could barely feel the heat, he knew in his mind it would sear anything it touched, but as a perception, he couldn’t feel the heat as pain.
Mark’s eyes widened as he stared into the flames, his breathing accelerated, and his heartbeat raced in his chest. In the middle of the room, Mark fell to his knees, his hands trembling under the fire. He let out a low growl in frustration uttering out, “Why!?”
In the silence, nothing responded to his plea, which was heard by no one. Mark’s hands blazed hotter as he looked up through the incredibly small window. “What did I do to deserve this!?” he shouted holding his flaming hands to his heart. “Why me!?” he cried.
The glass was a beacon of hope, the only natural light that entered the room under the sterile fluorescent lightbulbs. It must have been unbearable for the Recluse, the reason he had been crazy enough to escape alone. Mark wished he could have met him, to know what he had been going through, what had empowered him to run when he had been so weak.
Mark looked at his flaming hand again, and his anger grew. Swinging his arm up at the ceiling, he released the fire, destroying a ceiling panel so that it fell, filling the room with smoke. Mark watched it, burning with his fire until the flame sustained itself and turned golden like real fire. Figuring it out, Mark balled up the flames so that their intensity grew into an orb which he threw at another ceiling tile so it too fell to the floor.
“I have a life!” Mark insisted. “Why do I have to care about the Shadows? Why am I one of them?” He didn’t deny in the slightest that he did care about the Shadows. They were people imprisoned for no crimes, racism, simply because these people were different. In Mark’s mind, he saw all of them, all the names he had learned, the friendships he had built, and so many Shadows with their powers living ignorant of the world outside.
Kip, Mark thought as tears scorched down his cheeks. The boy was the same age as him. They were so similar, and yet Kip had never seen the places Mark had been, like the caverns that couldn’t be more than an hour from here. Much less left the walls of the ASH. Kip would likely give anything to leave the ASH.
“But what can I do?” Mark demanded sending off another blast of fire.
As another ceiling panel fell, Mark found that the room was filled with smoke, and through the fog, he could no longer see the door. He was breathing it, but not even smoke could harm him! Mark heard the door open, but through the thick smoke he couldn’t see who it was.
His hands glowed in the opacity of the cloud, unaware of who had entered or who had disturbed his solitude; the first he had received since he had arrived.
“Mark?” Emilie’s voice came through the smoke, and he could vaguely see her silhouette in the doorframe.
The smoke forced her to stay low to the floor, and she neared enough for Mark to see her covering her mouth with her shirt. She scanned the room, unable to see him and Mark drew back. The flames on his hands and the bright color of his eyes drew her to him like a beacon. He just wanted to be alone. Why couldn’t he have that? Another ceiling tile fell and she jumped back, slamming into the wall behind her and crashing into the low infirmary bed.
Extending his hand, Mark controlled the smoke, drawing it into his palm to clear the room. Only the burning panels on the floor with fire he wasn’t focusing on continued spewing smoke into the air of the tight enclosed space.
“Emilie! Are you okay?” He rushed over at her, seeing her rubbing her head.
Dazed, Emilie lifted her eyes and hesitated when she saw Mark’s face so close to her. Mark didn’t have to use the Realm to read everything on her face. His eyes, their intense crimson glow; it paralyzed her.
Abruptly, she scurried back into the corner of the bed, kicking him away with her weak, flimsy legs. “Don’t touch me!�
� she shouted.
Mark tensed, stepping back with his hands still outstretched to hold her. Silence filled his heart as he despaired and looked down to the floor where the blackened panels laid. Mark’s heart sank, and he turned away from Emilie as the smoke cleared away.
Bumping into the other bed, Mark sat on the sterile surface, devastated by her reaction to him. That was pure fear. He crumpled up the white sheet under his fists and shuddered. If he was supposed to be able to get the Shadows out of here, how could he have scared one of them like this? Emilie was the strongest Shadow Mark had met other than Sil. She didn’t scare easily.
Gasping, Emilie floated up and flew across the distance to him. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, Mark, I—”
“Just don’t,” Mark snapped, brushing her hand away. Gulping down his fear, he turned his faced away. “If you’re scared of me, why would any of the Shadows trust me?”
Tensing, Emilie’s lightning green eyes flared. “Mark!” She raised her voice, reeling forward in the air.
Mark turned away and stumbled toward the window. Even though her footsteps wouldn’t make any sound anyway, Mark knew Emilie was still there. He could feel her nervousness in the Realm, he could feel how conflicted she was.
She stammered, choking on her words until finally, she bellowed out, loud across the room, “You’re Shadow Hope!”
Stopping, Mark fully faced her and stared silently, his eyes flared, piercing deep into her heart. “What?”
Emilie flew over to Mark hastily. “You are the Exodus of the Shadows!” she revealed taking his hands. “You, Mark, that’s why you’re here. You are meant to free us!” Circling him in the air while holding his hands, Emilie urged him, “I don’t know how else to say it… you’re perfect…”
Mark seized Emilie’s wrist sending her off through the air in her weightlessness. “I’m not anything special!” he insisted, walking toward the open area of the room. “I’m a normal person. I have a normal life, and let’s face it.” he spread his arms out and shrugged. “I’d much rather be playing video games right now, than thinking about breaking a bunch of people out of prison!”
Emilie floated down to him. “But you can free us. You already have the power, Mark. Please!”
Mark seized her by the shoulders. “Emilie!” he shouted at her, flaring his deep crimson eyes. “Just because I’m a Shadow doesn’t mean I am anything like you!”
Emilie tried hard to turn her face and look away, but his eyes pierced her thoughts and scared her to the bone. “You’re one of us. You’re my… family, both Shadows and blood…” she pleaded. “If you accepted it, this wouldn’t be so hard!”
Mark released her and again strode away to the window. “Don’t try to convince me…” he whispered.
Emilie floated up to the ceiling, still too petrified to will herself away. Mark only looked back once more, his eyes burning into her heart as he finished softly through the Realm. Just go… just leave me alone.
Mark looked around the room seeing the charred ceiling panels and blackened burned patches on almost every surface. Mark stepped into the back room and collapsed onto the low sofa beneath the window. He buried his face in his hands, putting out the flames with stray tears while he gazed with coal-like eyes through his fingers.
With his anger growing in his heart, Mark gazed down at his hands. “The more I use this power, the more it’s going to consume me…” he whispered, distraught. He held his shoulders. “This isn’t fair!” His mind returned to his family. What would they think of him if he ever saw them again?
Looking forward again, Mark watched his eyes flare in his reflection from the old TV set. He was one of them, but no matter how many times he acknowledged the fact, the harder it became for him to accept it. Mark vanished into the Realm. He was enveloped instantly by the darkness. Without a sense of space and matter, his form floated in the endless void. He was brighter than when he last saw his fiery form traveling deeper into the emptiness.
Mark…
A voice echoed from the blackness into his mind. He didn’t hear it; he felt the creature’s power and wisdom. Mark looked around the Realm for the Shadow who had addressed him, but he could neither see nor feel another’s presence. Looking in all directions, Mark heard it again, sweet, gentle, but strong.
Mark…
Thinking broadly, Mark searched his heart for the way to confront the being calling out to him. Here I am.
Silence returned, long and disarming and Mark began to see the creature whom he was speaking to. An air of reverence flowed out from Mark’s heart as the form of the entity became visible. It was dark, flowing with violet garments, and dark hair of ghostly shadows blacker than in the real world. Mark couldn’t see its face because meeting eyes with this Shadow was too high an honor for even him.
Mark fell deeper into the Realm so far below the creature before it said anything more to him. The Shadow held compassion for him, knowing his mistakes, his short comings, everything about him so that he could find no excuse.
I am the Shadow Trust, it spoke with a voice unlike any Mark had heard. It wasn’t masculine or feminine, not in a language that could be uttered, but in thoughts, caring feelings, which Mark understood in his heart.
The Shadow Trust gave Mark comfort with a tone in the Realm, I am the one who gave you this gift, for the price of your service. I feel the bitterness in your heart, and I know your sorrow.
Mark panicked, feeling the presence of the Shadow in his heart working through his senses and helping him. Mark forced himself to look at the creature, and desperately, he whispered, What do you want with me?
The creature’s utter supremacy restricted Mark from denying it anything. He gazed down at Mark, reprimanding him with the very air he breathed. An intense shame filled his heart, complete unworthiness and he lowered his gaze.
That feeling was immediately replaced with forgiveness and the being came down to him in his lowly state. Throughout this Generation of Shadows, I have seen the suffering of my children. I have heard their cries. I have listened to their pleas, he explained gracefully.
Mark’s mind clouded with the pain all Shadows felt, but they suppressed this heartache to live in the ASH. Mark could feel as this being did for his children. The Shadow Trust took Mark’s gaze firmly so that Mark peered into his eyes seeing they were deep indigo with power. Mark possessed eyes with similar power, but not nearly as authoritative as this being.
So, now, I have decided the day for them to be freed from their prison, not merely from the ASH but from the world that holds them back. For I have made them for a greater purpose… the Shadow echoed understandings of this to Mark, so he could not question.
Therefore, the Shadow lowered itself deep into the Realm, so Mark could see it more fully, in order to make the world see this purpose, I have chosen you, to take them out and confront those who restrict you. The creature allowed Mark to look upon him and see the pain in its eyes while its Shadows were suppressed.
Mark lost eye contact with the Shadow Trust, lost in this world and the world of the Shadows. But… he protested, who am I to do this! You kept me hidden from the Shadows until now. Why do you pull me up now and demand my best? My Shadow is so unrefined. I have no status to you. Why would you lower yourself to beg help from someone like me?
The Shadow Trust raised itself far above Mark. I do not stoop. Who was it who chose and designed all Shadows? The Shadow took the form of fire, a blazing pillar, growing larger than the Realm could contain enveloping Mark fully. Who made your heart to wait until now? Who made your Shadow to amount to more than you even know? Mark hid his face as the voice echoed all around him, terrified by the fortitude the Shadow possessed over him. Did not I? I am the Shadow, the creature which chose you, and raised you up according to my purposes!
Mark grasped his heart, drunk on the feelings stirring in him welling and overflowing from him. Mark… the Shadow whispered to comfort his fear, I have already given you the power to do all I ask. If I had
not, I would not have chosen you. If you trust me to give you strength, I will guide you to succeed.
The creature raised Mark up in the Realm to a place of high status. Mark… go and never forget that you are a Shadow, therefore I am with you to guide you wherever you are! The creature drifted away and into the darkness of the Realm, vanishing from him.
Mark left the Realm staring into the light from the window above him. His eyes glowed with an enchanting cherry which now seemed… less violent, less terrifying, and more powerful. He panted, his body trembled, and stray tears trailed his face. It wasn’t sorrow, it wasn’t frustration, it was a mixture of gentle things: peace, strength, hope, love, and of course trust.
Mark glanced to his left at the door and sighed. He knew what he had to do. He could do this. He still had a hint of reluctance but he was determined now. He knew now that if and when his own strength failed, he only needed Trust.
XIV
ESCAPE!
Kip stood up from his bed to fasten the last button of a burgundy vest he was wearing. “What do you think?” he beckoned to Mark, sitting next to him with a glazed look on his face.
Half-focused, Mark proceeded to look him over. Kip was wearing a high collared vest with gold trim and buttons, which possessed a slightly Asiatic appearance. Also, Kip fastened around his waist a sturdy belt with a long strip of matching fabric with gold trim attached to it, which flowed to his ankles.
Kip stepped around the proximity of his bed, “Elise just finished making it for me.” Excitedly, he fanned out the waist cape.
Mark drew his eyebrows together. “Why?” he wondered.
Kip’s shoulders fell. “Because I think it matches my hair,” he joked lightheartedly. “Why do you think? Because it’s cool!”
Shrugging, Mark chuckled as he gazed emptily around the room. “It looks pink,” he mocked gently, only wanting to come off as a touch sarcastic. It was getting dark out, and the skylight emitted the grayest light into the room that was already completely white.