by E Kathryn
Merely smiling at him, Rita sat up fully with her hands in her lap and mocked him with a sly grin in her emerald eyes. “Ya worried about sleeping next to a girl?”
Mark grimaced, gritting his teeth together. She was comfortable, but he couldn’t help but feel awkward. “There’s nothing wrong with that…” he whispered. Did the Shadows really have no concept of separating the genders? There was no way they could be this innocent to the point of perfect platonic cooperation, and no romantic relationships among them that Mark could see.
Mark sighed and opened another sleeping bag, poking it first to make sure. It was located on the far side of the tent in hopes that he wouldn’t have to sleep next to a girl. Rita chortled at him some more for his peculiar behavior. Mark smirked with that thought, his peculiar behavior, everything about the Shadows was peculiar. He was normal!
“Ya know what we need?” Rita wondered loudly in the tent.
“Two rooms in 13-15?” he muttered under his breath.
Laughing, Rita mused, “I heard that, we need a prank, ya know, to take everyone off the edge.”
Bursting into laughter, Mark mocked her in return. “Wait, this is what the Shadows look like when they’re on edge?”
Rita pressed her lips together in the darkness and rolled her eyes, which were the only glowing things Mark could see in the dark. “I should have said, to take you off the edge…”
Calming down and wiping away some tears, Mark sighed contently. “Any suggestions?”
“Are you telling me you’ve never pranked anyone before?” Rita gasped raising exaggerated brows.
Mark shrugged to himself, though Rita couldn’t see. “Of course, I have, but that is a terrible idea.”
Rita again chortled. “What are you supposed to do with powers when you’re surrounded by your friends? Obviously, you cannae fight them with your powers. Ya prank them! Are ya too chicken?”
Flustering, Mark’s crimson eyes flickered in the dark. “It’s not that, it’s just I’d prefer to not get my head lopped off by Emilie or Sil.” He laid inside the sleeping bag flat on his back and heaved a sigh as he stared at the roof of the tent. Everything felt weird, but he didn’t actually mind being near Rita. She seemed like one of the saner of the bunch.
“What’s wrong?” Rita asked quietly.
Mark’s hands rose over his chest as he inhaled. “Is it weird that I feel like a tool, like I’m just being used right now?”
“Probably not.” Rita hummed, rolling onto her side under the silky fabric of the sleeping bag. “If anything, you and I are in the same boat. It doesn’t feel… bad, does it?”
Mark closed his eyes in the darkness. “No.”
Rita was the only reason they had made it out this far without getting caught or arrested, she was the tool of their escape as he had been. It didn’t feel wrong, it just felt impersonal. If a Shadow was just an object inside him, something he was born with or chosen for, why didn’t it feel like a part of him?
It still didn’t feel real to know that his Shadow was flowing in his veins, a real, physical, measurable part of his blood. He had refined his Shadow because he had put his mind to it, it wasn’t hard. It could have been because he was an elemental Shadow that made it easy, but everything he had learned jumbled together. Nothing made sense.
His Shadow had been dormant all this time, like Kip had told him, it took time to work its way through his body. But Trust had forced his heart to wait. It wasn’t a physical thing like other Shadows, Kip or Sage. Another Shadow had caused his power to remain dormant. It was like Trust had full control over this thing.
Maybe it was another power, maybe it was a unique thing Trust could do. Mark felt his mind drifting off, but he didn’t feel tired. He looked over in the dim light and realized Rita had fallen asleep. Where was Trust in all this? If he was a Shadow like the others or some kind of ethereal entity. All he knew was those words Trust had said to him.
Who made your heart to wait until now?
XVI
WAIT
October 29, 2030
Other Shadows shuffled into the tent quietly, but Mark laid awake, feigning sleep through the noise. Through the weariness of night, Mark discovered that Sage had fallen asleep in the sleeping bag right beside him and he learned the painful way, not to roll too far in that direction.
Mark also accidentally discovered that Sil and Emilie were sharing a mattress pad and to disturb them meant a snowball to the face. It disturbed him that they were sleeping together but he knew they were fully clothed and tried to keep all other thoughts out of his mind.
He couldn’t make himself fall asleep, that phrase still stuck in his head. He had been forced to wait. Someone had made him wait. Trust had intervened when he was very young to hide the truth of his Shadow and prevent him from getting his powers until now. He couldn’t make himself believe that Trust was a god, not after all the Shadows he had met. Trust was a person, a person who had been messing with him all his life.
He wanted to have a little respect for the man, whoever he was. He was obviously very powerful, communicating with him through the ASI and over a distance probably. Mark assumed his power to disregard the ASI was Trust still pulling the strings. The Shadow was something within Mark’s heart, and he felt a little violated to realize Trust had touched his Shadow.
Mark sat up in his little pallet restlessly, clenching a hand over his heart. He couldn’t tell if he felt sick, had a horrible case of heartburn, or was just hungry from skipping dinner. It was almost like he could feel it in there. His Shadow was like a rock in his chest, making it harder to breathe. His hands started to sizzle, the warmth causing him to sweat in the tight space of the tent.
He cringed, and when he moved his hands away from his breastbone, he felt an incredible weight lifted off his chest. Opening his eyes abruptly, he tensed. The tent was dark and crowded but it was nothing compared to the intense blackness within his hands. He was holding a blackhole, and the singularity was his Shadow.
Now that word was more than a formless silhouette on the ground, this was where the Shadows got their name. It was so black is devoured all light, making the tent feel like it was bathed in light compared to the thing in his hand. He was holding his own Shadow.
Frantically, he threw it away, pushing it through the air where it hung by itself. Mark’s heart raced, and he held his hand before him, making sure he didn’t wake the others as he tried to light his hand on fire. He focused with all his might, but he could only feel a slight warmth, and he was sure that was just the blood rushing to extremities from his surge of adrenaline.
His eyes widened but he knew they didn’t flare, he was sure the brightness in his red eyes had dimmed. He didn’t have Fire anymore, he couldn’t use his powers. He had gotten rid of it! A wave of relief washed over him, when this was over, he could go home.
Looking up to the black orb above him, floating aimlessly in the top tent poles, it wasn’t going away. Keeping quiet, he reached up to take it and the Shadow stuck to his hand despite being intangible. To his senses, it felt like air, like he was grasping nothing, but in his heart, in his gut, he knew it was powerful.
Sliding the zipper away from the ground as soundlessly as possible, Mark looked over his shoulder at the dimly lit tent where the Shadows still slept soundly. The cool night air flooded the space and Mark stuck his hand out to release the Shadow and let it float away. It left his hand, but it didn’t leave. Under the starlight it was easier to see and he felt like it was alive, like it was sentient, and it was looking at him.
He felt like it wanted to ask him, why do you want to get rid of me? Or, don’t you have a job to do?
He closed the zipper and left it outside, hoping to now be able to fall asleep, and to take whatever tomorrow had in store for him. It would be easier without his Shadow to worry about, and he’d be able to relax without the nagging thoughts of Trust’s tampering. He closed his eyes in the sleeping bag, feeling comfortable and cool.
S
uddenly, a stir in his heart spiraled inside him, like his blood was a whirlpool and he felt incredibly dizzy. A hot flash rippled across his skin and he gasped. His hand grasped at his chest as he panted and he could once again feel it in there. The Shadow wasn’t blocked by corporeal boundaries, and it was back. When he opened his eyes, he could see the cherry glow against his skin.
His fingertips burst into flame at his command. He groaned. It was a part of him. It always would be.
Sitting up, Mark now felt like this tent was too hot, and he kicked off the blanket. Sleeping was a lost cause, and how could he with a trickster like this residing in his chest? It wanted to torment him. It wanted to be a pain. Curiously, Mark’s gaze turned to the others sleeping in his tent, undisturbed by all his movement.
Emilie and Sil slept very close to each other, Rita laid on her chest, and Sage laid on his side with his quill-covered back facing Mark. Getting to his knees, Mark pushed his luck. None of them had awoken so far, maybe they wouldn’t stir if he tried to leave. However, as he grasped the zipper, he got an idea and stopped.
Carefully, without disturbing anyone, he reached over Sage to Rita, and very lightly, he touched her back. Right over her heart, Mark closed his eyes and felt her Shadow. Like his own, it was easy to feel, and just as easy to grasp. Rita sighed audibly when the dark orb attached to Mark’s hand, but she didn’t stir.
His heart charged inside him like a war horse, but he had done it. It would come back to her so he wasn’t really afraid, but what was making him panic was the idea of using it. He cringed, not really sure what he was doing, but he cleared his mind and he pressed the Shadow over his heart.
Immediately his head filled with images, each one like a doorway. Every place he had ever been in his entire life, even locations inches apart were all doors in his mind and it completely overwhelmed him. He flustered but he forced himself to think of the campfire outside. A doorway appeared in his head and he grabbed it, his eyes flashing with green and when the light cleared, he was outside.
A stream of smoke rose from the dying embers of the fire he had built. He trembled, his whole body shaking but he had done it. He had used Rita’s Shadow. Rita would kill him if she found out. Hurriedly he reached into his heart and took out Rita’s Shadow, casting it away, the black orb danced across the dusty ground, meandering leisurely back to its wielder.
Mark watched it go, knowing its way to Rita without any help. He shivered, as much as this ability was amazing, he never wanted to teleport by himself again. With so many options given to him, he could have accidentally ended up anywhere. His control over her Shadow was completely unrefined, and he knew how dangerous his experiment had been. He was so lucky to have made it first try.
He exhaled forcibly, steadying his breathing as he got his thoughts into a usable order. Maybe this was what Trust had done to him, maybe Trust had taken his Shadow like this, and given it back to him, maybe back in February when his mother had mentioned the tachycardia fit. It made sense the more he thought about it. It had taken a little time for his Shadow to work through his blood, and then at the least opportune moment, he figured out how to use fire. That was it.
This power wasn’t unique to him, he was pretty sure about that. Maybe to all Shadows their power was something that could be taken, if only gently and with good intentions. Mark was sure if Rita had felt a thing, she would have awoken and stopped him.
He heard the zipper moving and tensed. Maybe she had woken up when she felt her Shadow return. Maybe she knew what he had done. He vanished into the Realm. It was dark enough out that he wouldn’t cast a shadow on the ground. He was perfectly hidden when she emerged, but it wasn’t Rita, it was Emilie.
Mark watched his cousin exit the tent groggily and float over the dusty ground to the van where five of the other Shadows were sleeping. He had no idea what time it was, but he could see the faintest light on the horizon, so it had to be getting close to morning.
Emilie sprawled out on the cold roof of the van, stretching out and resting under the open sky. Mark left the Realm when he was certain she couldn’t see him from this angle, and he smiled a little. Of course, she wanted to sleep under the stars. She wanted to be free. She wanted to be able to fly away at any moment. It was fascinating to be able to see her desires so easily. It was those sadistic impulses she had that kept him guessing.
Mark wanted to know what drove her. What was so incredible about flying? When almost a half hour passed, and more light appeared over the canyon, Mark was pretty sure she had fallen asleep. His curiosity got the better of him. There was still time.
Careful to not make any noise, Mark stepped lightly across the rocky ground, taking a glance at the open tent flap. Heavy fog enveloped their camp near the cliffs, making it impossible to see anything below the edge. The only sound Mark could note was the distant birds in the crevasses far below. Even in the wide white out, Mark could still see her figure, enjoying the sting of the cold air as she slept soundly.
She was in heaven right now, Mark could tell.
Using a tire as his first step, Mark climbed onto the roof of the van, and with all his reach, he hoisted himself up where Emilie lay. She didn’t stir when his weight jostled the suspension of the van and remained completely content even when Mark was so close, he could feel her breath. With gentle fingertips, Mark stretched out to her, and ever-so carefully, touched her breastbone.
With another glance over his shoulder, he kept a wary eye on the tent flap, making sure no one was waking up. He stepped down, keeping his steps quiet until he got some distance between himself and the van.
As the light grew, the blackness of a Shadow became even more intense. This one was different. While Mark’s Shadow felt like a rock, this one was pure light. It was like air, like the wind blowing in his face. It was freedom incarnate.
Hesitantly, he pressed the Shadow over his heart and took it for himself. It wasn’t an immediate rush like Rita’s Shadow. It was much easier. He still felt gravity’s power over him, but he had to think about it for a moment, to tell himself that gravity couldn’t control him. This Shadow was a little harder to get a hold of, and he was almost sure its entity didn’t want him messing with it.
His feet lifted off the ground. When he realized his own weightlessness, he panicked and stopped using the Shadow. Falling to his knees, he grasped his chest, panting violently. Now that was terrifying. For just a second, he could have floated away or worse, fallen, and even an inch into the air was like a mile. He didn’t know how she did it. She had absolutely no fear of falling.
The van door opened suddenly and Mark’s heart sank into his stomach. The whole van jostled as someone got out and surely it would wake Emilie. Elise appeared and shuffled over to the fire pit tiredly. She plopped down by the embers and yawned, only looking up when she spotted him.
“Oh Mark, you’re up early.” She smiled across the fog, genuinely kind. “Think you could wake up the fire?” she asked, shivering a little.
“Y-yes!” Mark stammered, his heart beating a million miles a minute, but he forced himself to go to her.
On his way, he grabbed a few twigs off the ground and a single branch that would burn for a while. When he bent down, he felt gravity wane, and he tripped, clinging to the ground as he waited for his body to steady.
He had to get rid of Shadow Feather, but he couldn’t let Elise figure out what he had done. Kneeling by the ashes, he arranged the sticks into a little tower and lit his hands to get the fire going. Emilie gave a loud contented sigh like a princess waking up from a century’s nap. She was oblivious, but she wouldn’t be for long.
She woke up leisurely as the light grew and seemed quite pleasant as she sat up and stared over the canyon for a few minutes. Mark’s heart ran rampant with her every movement, and before he could do anything more than light the fire, the other Shadows were already waking up.
Emilie set her legs over the side of the van and pushed herself off, gliding nonchalantly to the dirt. Mark gulped
but let out a sigh of relief to see she still had some control over her power, or at least the remnants of it in her blood. She walked with a spring in her weightless step to the back of the van in search of food, and to her delight she found the supply of nonperishable food including canned vegetables and fruits, jerky, and a good snowball fight’s worth of dinner rolls, which she helped herself to.
Mark bit his nails, but felt his spirit leaving his body when Elise elbowed him. “What’s got you so worked up? You’re looking pale.”
“Nothing,” he said hastily.
Elise gave a knowing glare. “Don’t worry about anything. We have food for a few days. We’ll figure it out.”
Emilie took a handful of the dried meat with her and strode over to the edge of the crag but about ten feet from the edge she stopped, almost suspicious, then she looked back at the drearily awakening camp and smiled. She took a deep breath then ran and jumped off the edge of the cliff, ready to fly over the world.
Mark’s whole being imploded, the world rushed around him and he burst to his feet. He couldn’t speak, he couldn’t yell after her, he could only scream.
“Whoa!” Elise gasped, rising with him.
“Sh-she jumped!” Mark stammered helplessly, pushing himself to run after her.
“She’ll be back,” Elise assured confidently, “She’s probably just going out to enjoy herself.”
Shaking his head furiously, Mark ripped Shadow Feather out of his heart. “She won’t. She can’t fly!” He exclaimed holding out the black, smoky, wavering orb. The Realm declared it to Elise. She knew what he had done.
“Is that…” Her whole demeanor darkened.
Mark didn’t answer and pushed past her, running with all his might. His feet couldn’t get good traction, he couldn’t run very fast, and then the Shadow left his hand. It moved of its own accord, flying away then circling back and impacting his chest like a bullet.
Gravity lost its hold on him as Emilie’s Shadow took control, and before he reached the edge of the cliff he was flying.