by E Kathryn
Mark stopped in his tracks about six feet from the car and glared at the black pavement. It’s my dad. I don’t know how to talk about Shadows around him.
Sil didn’t say anything aloud as Marissa unlocked the car from a distance and he opened the car door to sit inside. Relax… Sil breathed, letting a frigid cold come over Mark. Let your father ask you questions. You don’t have to explain everything in one go. You barely understand it yourself.
Grumbling, Mark moved to the other side of the car and waited for his mother to hand his sister to him so he could buckle June into the middle of the backseat. Finally, he sat down inside and took a meditative pause to close his eyes and let his mind enter into the Realm.
It calmed his senses to do this, to feel the world within him and the hearts of the Shadows around him, and it distracted him long enough for them to get on the road.
“So, Emilie said she was Shadow Feather. What about you… Sil.” The words came off January’s tongue awkwardly, and he kept his eyes off the road to keep his headache at bay.
“Shadow Frost,” Sil answered without any hesitation whatsoever. Uneasily, he twirled and unraveled his long braid, claustrophobic in the backseat.
“And… Mark?” January led into it, clearing his throat.
Mark felt his spine stiffen, every muscle in his body locked up and he was unable to speak to his father and unable to look away. January turned around in his seat to meet eyes with Mark and this unsettled him even more. Finally, he gazed anxiously at the floor of the car. “Fire. I’m pyrokinetic.”
“Are you okay?” January’s voice faded with every word.
Mark folded his hands in his lap, pinching his own fingers, and biting his lip, but swallowing his gut. He forced himself to blurt out what was on his mind as quickly as possible. “Are you a Shadow—”
“We talked about this!” Marissa cut him off.
“I want an answer from him! Because all I’m getting from you is lies!” The car fell silent. Mark’s anger had finally shone through, and though his eyes stayed locked on his father’s, the discomfort of snapping at his parents stung. January’s gaze drifted out to the colored leaves which lined the street as they entered their neighborhood.
“I’m not a Shadow,” January whispered.
Mark made out their house in the distance, his father breathed a sigh of relief when he was finally home. Being away strained January’s nerves, stressed his psyche and made him shut down socially.
“If I was, I would have told you,” January added in an even softer voice as the car came to a stop. “I’m sorry we sheltered you from the ASH, but Shadows who can’t control their powers are dangerous.”
Marissa turned off the car letting January fall silent, not exactly sure in his own voice. Mark eyed up his parents. She raised a brow and subtly gestured to their son with her neck. His father looked desperate, opening his mouth to protest, but his mother dismissed him wordlessly, fed up with his obsessive introversion.
“I’ll leave you boys to talk.” Mark’s mother got out of the car and moved to let June out. June ran to the door happily unaware of her family’s distress as she waited for her mother to unlock the house. “And don’t worry about the luggage. I got it.” This made January pale as he realized his wife had abandoned him to address their son alone.
Grumbling, January opened the door but remained in the car, just letting the cold air in to aid his headache. Each moment drew into a thousand before he finally spoke. “I admit, I can’t totally remember everything about my past, but I’m still searching for the truth.”
Skeptically, Sil leaned closer accidently causing the temperature in the car to drop further as his curiosity piqued. “How old were you when you lost your memory?”
January eyed Sil but gulped down his nervousness. “I was eighteen in my earliest memory.” In his eyes, Mark could see his father searching his memory for more information but could barely summon anything. “I’m forty years old now.”
Sil leaned back into the seat and drew his brows concerned. “Twenty-two years.” He did the math, curling his finger under his chin. “And the ASH was built twenty years ago.”
A growl emerged in the back of Mark’s throat. “What does that have to do with anything?”
“I don’t know,” Sil admitted, finding January’s nervous gaze and folding his hands in his lap. “It may be a coincidence, but it’s an oddly close time frame.”
“I assure you,” January forced, “I’ve been tested for a Shadow at the height of the ASH, and it was negative.”
“My test was negative,” Mark seethed, pushing the car door open with his foot. “It doesn’t prove anything.”
Storming out, Mark stopped on the front lawn, anger boiling inside him with the reality that no one was being honest with him. Of course, the second he had a moment to forget about Sil and his father behind him, Emilie came into view, leaning against the garage doorway and grinning at him with her arms crossed. Somehow, she was ready.
XXV
TEARS OF THE YEARS
Smoothing her long brown hair over her shoulder, Emilie sat satiated upon the edge of the couch while Mark paced aimlessly. January had wandered into the back bedroom to sleep and deal with several hours of jet lag but this unresponsiveness killed Mark’s psyche.
With a knowing smirk, Emilie wove her hair into a braid and chuckled to herself. “If you’re this worked up about your father finding out you’re a Shadow, then I have nothing to worry about.”
Mark whirled at her, halfway between the television and the front door. “At least your dad won’t be as evasive as mine. Aunt Hellen never got married, so you won’t have to deal with that.”
Startled, Emilie tossed the unfastened braid over her shoulder and leaned forward, floating slightly. “What do you mean? I don’t have two parents?” She puzzled at a loss for the idea since it was very clear from the look in her eyes that she was fully aware how babies were made.
Preventing himself from finding humor in the thought, Mark plopped down on the floor in front of the television. Heaving a sigh, he forced himself to break out the gaming console he had been trying to avoid.
“I don’t know the whole story. I was born the same day you were. She never liked to talk about it, but my mom told me as soon as I learned about Shadows.” From the television cabinet, Mark removed and plugged in a seemingly high-tech console to a television hardly large enough to capture the whole screen. It looked a bit ridiculous since the console was only half the size of the screen.
“Ah…” Emilie hummed sarcastically and nodded, “because your mom has such a great record for telling you the whole story.”
Mark pushed down his worry as he started up the dusty console. “It frustrates me so much…” he admitted, somehow trusting his wayward cousin with his feelings, “and the worst part… I feel like she takes advantage of my dad’s amnesia, as an excuse to keep things hidden from me.”
Clenching his fingers around the wireless controller, Mark gritted his teeth. “I know he knows more than he’s saying.” He felt his hands getting warmer, and hurriedly put down the controller on the carpet to stop himself from destroying it like his laptop. As far as he knew, his father didn’t have a clue he had destroyed the expensive gaming computer. January didn’t have a clue for much of anything.
Airlessly, Emilie floated up from the edge of the couch and knelt beside Mark, her knees barely touching the ground. “Sounds to me like you need to go talk to him, for your own good,” she urged in a quiet voice.
Mark groaned, flinching when he felt Emilie’s hand on his shoulder. Her fingers drifted up to brush his dark ebony hair behind his ear and she smirked with that same wry smile that irked him. “He won’t tell me anything,” Mark insisted, pushing her away and watching as she drifted without gravity.
In a retaliatory gesture, Emilie gripped both his shoulders and hoisted him up to his feet, forcing him to get away from the trap of video games that he used to distract himself. Once on his fe
et, Mark glared at her, unable to resist as she pushed him towards the hall. In another low disgruntled sigh, Mark gave in, first driving his heels in then murmuring, “Fine…”
Emilie beamed, more than pleased with herself as she watched his slow begrudging steps into the dark, unlit hallway. The whole house sank into silence while January slept, so Mark was particularly afraid that his mother would pounce on him from the kitchen when she spotted him going into her bedroom. Mark used the Realm, hiding himself in the sweet darkness to creep through the L-shaped hall and warily turn the creaky doorknob into his parents’ bedroom.
Mark didn’t bother knocking, doing everything within his power to keep his mother from finding out he intended to disturb his father’s sleep. The bedroom was stuffy and almost pitch-black despite how the autumn sun peeked through the heavy curtain over the window on the far side of the room. January didn’t stir when Mark closed the door behind him, not allowing it to click shut. “Dad…” Mark mustered to break the silence.
Buried under the covers, January jumped slightly and wearily he dug his face out from under the covers. His bleary eyes exemplified how irritated this made him. “What do you need?” he asked in a hoarse whisper.
Mark clenched his teeth for a second before he found his voice. “How did you lose your memories?” he asked quietly.
January groaned deeply and rubbed his face, attempting to bury himself a little longer. “Mark, can I please get a little rest before we leave to visit your aunt?”
“You’re coming with us?” Mark burst, a little surprised since until this morning he didn’t even know his father was coming home.
Sighing, January sat up and covered his eyes. From the looks of him, Mark could tell he had a headache, and jet lag had claimed his internal sense of time. “I was thinking about it. Do you need something? Why couldn’t you just bug your mom?”
At this, Mark’s nose wrinkled up in the darkness. “She won’t tell me anything. I want answers!”
January tensed, and for that instant he seemed scared of the deep crimson glow in Mark’s eyes but as he hesitated, Mark could see his mind jumping around. Grunting, January set his feet over the side of the bed. “The earliest memory I have was when I was eighteen. I had been living in a cheap apartment. I vaguely remember having a few friends, and other than that no clue. When your mother and I got married, we looked into my heritage because, you know, I’ve got a bit of an accent. As far as we can guess, I’m Scottish. I came over when I was young, and I have no known family except you, June, and your mom.”
Rising to his feet, January placed one firm hand on Mark’s shoulder, nearly pinching him. “Take it easy on us, Mark. We didn’t spend a week with the Shadows, so we don’t know what world you’re coming from. Hang in there, it’s just going to take some time for me to get used to this.”
January’s hand left his shoulder, and Mark’s eyes fell despondently with a bitter nod. Mark pulled away to let his father sleep. January didn’t sink back into the bed, watching Mark’s back as he turned to leave, but a tenderness overcame January, when he acknowledged that their whole family was about to change.
Mark strapped his roller blades to his feet and tore out the front door to race down the sidewalk. The wheels under his feet felt great and getting his rage out like this was far more effective than video games. The cool wind nipped at his nose, but he ignored it even though he had dismissed his coat in the foyer.
He should have never given up skating. It cooled his head and got his heart pumping. Part of him felt withdrawal from his addiction to video games, but the other part missed being in the ASH and hanging out with Kip. He couldn’t deny he felt miserable there, but Kip had been the purest form of a Shadow Mark encountered. He didn’t want to fall back into video games or pick up where his life had been broken off. He wanted to be with Shadows, and to know more about them.
He felt graceful fingertips brushing against his shoulder and he looked up just long enough to see Emilie flying up beside him, following him with a queer grin. “Your mom wants to get ready to leave.”
Mark scoffed and pushed himself harder. “I’m going to see Sil,” he declared over the wind, rushing through the November fog. Emilie didn’t slow in the air, and Mark could feel through the Realm, she felt the same, she longed to be with Sil. Maybe for romantic reasons, Mark didn’t know for sure, but it was that same drive to be with Shadows.
She chuckled when they neared the gray-blue house. “And to think, you two didn’t hit it off so well.”
They didn’t even have to step up onto the porch when the front door screeched open and Sil appeared, his cold golden eyes shimmering in the light of day. “I heard your tones in the Realm…” he murmured, a hint of worry in his voice as if he thought something was wrong. He poised a hand on his hip as his long hair fell in front of his chest like spider webs now that it was straight, and he smirked. “I can’t seem to stay home for more than an hour with all the adventures you two are getting me into.”
Sil had a strange aura about him for his choice of words, and Mark’s heart softened at the warmth in Sil’s eyes. “I think that’s how this is meant to be. I feel like… I need to be with Shadows.”
At this, Sil stepped down from the porch and onto the damp grass. “Haven’t you figured it out yet?” he joked and strode over and leaned against Emilie’s shoulder to annoy her. “‘We are all Shadows.’ Don’t you know what that means? Ocie says it all the time.” Mark shook his head, still oblivious and this made Sil laugh. It was a tad eerie to hear Sil laugh, but Mark enjoyed a little light in someone so dark. “It means we are strongest when we’re together. That was Keller’s plan when he made the ASH, to bring the Shadows together so they’d grow stronger.”
Mark stared down at his hands a little nervously, recognizing there would be long-term consequences to destroying the ASH as he did. “Keller wasn’t wrong to do what he did, but taking us away from our families, that was wrong. It makes me wonder what it would be like if you got to stay with your parents.”
Sil shrugged, and finally tossed his arm over Emilie’s shoulder, weighing her down. “Rita has some pretty wild stories from her home in Scotland. She said Shadows were abandoned after their powers surfaced, and they’re picked up by a community of Shadows who live by themselves. Not too much difference from what the ASH was.”
Mulling over these thoughts, Mark pressed his lips together. His dad was Scottish, could that give him any more excuse to start looking for a way to prove January had more to do with the Shadows than he could remember? Mark obsessed over these thoughts, not even noticing as a car pulled up behind them on the street and someone called out, “Come on, kids. I need to get to the store before we leave.” Marissa was still rolling down the window when Mark turned to meet eyes with her.
Suddenly, Sil grabbed Emilie’s arms and in one hurried motion, he hugged her tightly, despite how it pained his burns. “Good luck, Emilie.”
She gasped, and Mark whirled about to see her aimlessly grasping at the air. Nothing startled her more than getting real affection from Sil, especially because she knew he meant it, and there was nothing coarse or cold about it.
He released her, and she stumbled back, half-heartedly letting gravity control her as she tried to pretend she could walk. “Th-thank you…” she gasped breathily.
Sil waved her off as she and Mark drifted to the car. “Best of luck with your mom. I hope she’s as great as my parents.” He waited on the lawn while the two of them got into the little car, crammed with June in the middle seat in the back. It wasn’t until Mark had buckled his seat belt that he noticed his father wasn’t in the front seat beside his mother. He had stayed behind. Mark fought to hide his disappointment and kept quiet as his mother drove them away from the Addisons.
“So, Emilie, it’s your mother’s birthday in a few days,” Marissa spoke with her eyes squinting at the white sky while she drove. “I was planning to get her a gift before we drove out, can you think of anything you’d like
to get her?” She opened a pocket on the ceiling of her car to release the pair of sunglasses hidden inside.
Emilie shuddered, drawing her brows together and gripping the seat belt’s release button. “How can you talk while driving?” she wondered, terribly confused and nervous.
Marissa glanced back at her in her mirror and with a slight grin she chuckled. “I’ve been driving so long, it’s easy to multitask. Why do you ask?”
By the way Emilie was quivering it was obvious that she didn’t want to be in this car. It made her feel trapped. Forcing a chuckle, Mark nudged her shoulder over his little sister. “It’s because she had to drive when we made our escape from the ASH.”
Acknowledging Emilie’s difficult position, Marissa’s eyes grew tender as she denied herself a frown. “You’ll be more relaxed when you learn to drive,” she assured.
Scoffing, Emilie put one foot up on the back of the passenger seat and the other through the space between the seat and the door. “I’m never learning to drive. I’ll just fly everywhere I go!” she insisted, crossing her arms over her chest stubbornly. However, a second later she reeled forward. “I got it!” She reached into her back pocket to retrieve the small piece of paper she had been keeping there. “Can we get zucchini?”
Drawing her brows together, Marissa laughed. “For your mom?”
Emilie nodded eagerly. “I have this recipe for zucchini chips that Kimberly gave me. I could make it for my mom.”
“I think that’s a great idea,” Marissa declared as she turned in toward a shopping center. “What else do you need?”
Cradling the crumpled three-by-five card in her hands, Emilie blushed a little, pleased with herself. “Olive oil, bread crumbs, parmesan, and oregano. That’s easy enough, right?” It wasn’t a question. This was perfect, and Emilie burst out of the car as soon as they parked.
She zipped through the air despite how everyone urged her to walk like a normal person. Seeing Emilie with this pure happiness unmotivated by spite, only reinforced to Mark he wanted to stay with the Shadows forever, and he got the feeling, his family was going to seem very boring soon.