by Krane, Kasey
Two motors started up and I looked up to see two Sangre tear out of the backside of the mine opening, down a dirt road, spewing up a cloud of dust as they went. Although the Devils shot after them, they were gone, only billowing dust left to prove they were ever there.
Goddamn motherfucking pieces of shit!
But I couldn’t waste time trying to chase after them. By the time I got my bike back up and going - if it was still even running after that crash landing earlier - the Sangre would be long gone.
I would just have to kill them later.
But for now, I needed to find the girls. Find Maggie Lara. Find out if all of this was for fucking nothing at all.
25
Carmen
The crying was over. At least for now.
No, for sure. No more crying. None.
I wondered dully where Judge was. Of course I didn’t want to see him, but I still wanted to know if he was okay. Was he still out riding? Trying to escape the world? He’d been gone for hours. Maybe he was trying to figure out what to do with me. Maybe he was busy trying to figure out how to get me to leave already. He probably wanted his couch back. And his dog back.
Goddammit, now I sound like a country song.
Yesterday, all I’d wanted from him was for him to tell me that I was wrong, and then prove it. Show me how he hadn’t been a blind follower agreeing to whatever asinine plan Bishop had come up with. Show me how he’d had a backbone, a moral compass, or an internal decision making process that didn’t involve just saying “Yes” to others.
But he hadn’t. He hadn’t fought back. He seemed to realize that I was right, for all the good that did either of us.
Never had I so badly wanted to be wrong. I wanted it with every fiber of my being.
With a sigh, I turned off the TV; channel 7 had long ago switched back to its regular programming, which seemed to include nothing but soap operas - gag - so leaving it on was just annoying background noise.
I needed to think. I needed to decide what to do. I couldn’t just wait for Maggie - for all of the students - to be found. That could be months from now.
Years.
Never.
I couldn’t just wallow in my grief on Judge’s couch until then. I had to apply for jobs. I had to update my resume, although it seemed like “Getting shot and letting my students get kidnapped” was probably something I should leave off it. It would be smart to get a job somewhere far away because there was no way I would have anonymity in the U.S. or Mexico.
What about Taiwan? They’re always looking for English teachers. And I liked that one vacation that I took there.
And other than the fact that it was stupidly muggy and crowded and totally lacking in the Judge department, I could totally love it there!
Goddammit, I couldn’t seem to be able to lie, even to myself.
Slowly, my body aching with pain and grief and anger, I pushed myself off the welcoming cushions of the couch and into a standing position. It was time to go pack my shit and leave. I could go to Mexico, pack up my stuff in my apartment, and then…
Well, go to my dad’s house for the time being, at least until I got that job in Taiwan.
Ugh.
The idea of working somewhere so green and lush and kill-me-now muggy made me slightly ill.
Well, there are a lot of countries in the world. I’ll just have to pick a different one.
I had visions of spinning the globe in my father’s office and stabbing my finger on a country.
It seemed just as logical as any other process.
“C’mon, Turbo,” I said, all enthusiasm and energy in my voice gone. “We…I should probably pack up before Judge gets home. He’ll want me out of his hair.”
A tear spilled over and trailed down my cheek.
Apparently, I can lie to myself about not crying anymore.
I dashed the tear away with the back of my hand.
Okay, from here forward, really, no more crying. You’re not one to wallow around and feel sorry for yourself - don't start now.
I straightened my shoulders and lifted my chin. It was going to be fine. Everything was going to be fine. I just had to survive packing my clothes and toiletries. One step at a time. I could face calling my father and telling him the truth after that. But first, I just had to—
The front door burst open.
“Carmen!” Judge gasped, shoving his sweaty hair out of his face. “You have to come with me.”
I stood and stared at him in shock. He was bloodied - his arm had gravel and dirt mixed with blood trailing down it - and his shirt was soaked in sweat. His cut, his jeans, his shoes…all of them were covered in dust and filth.
“What the hell have you been doing??” I exclaimed, the words finally coming out and I just stared at him and blinked. Stupidly. Like an owl. But I couldn’t help myself.
“Not right now,” Judge said with a growl. “We have to go. I’ll tell you all about it when we get there.”
“There? Where’s there?”
But he was tugging on my arm, yanking me out of the front door, and he gave a sharp whistle to the three Dead Legion on duty. “Follow me!” he yelled at them as he dragged me down the front sidewalk.
Which totally threw me for a loop. Judge never left the house unattended, even when Judge and I weren’t there. He wanted at least one person as a lookout, in case the Sangre showed up.
Unless…the Sangre were out of the picture somehow?
I quit fighting against his pull on my arm and instead began running down the sidewalk, skittering to a halt next to…a Harley? Not Judge’s Harley. Where was his bike? But he was swinging his leg over and hollering for me to move, so I slid on behind him and wrapped my arms around him, and Judge hit the gas, engine thrumming, roaring down the road. My stomach tried to lodge itself in my throat when we took a corner at top speed, tires squealing. Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes and tucked my head against his back, figuring that watching the speedometer rise wouldn’t help the situation at all.
I would just have to trust Judge.
Just like he’d always trusted Bishop.
I froze.
Did that make me a lapdog, just like I’d accused Judge of being?
The thought made me dizzy. I had thought Judge had been such an idiot for just blindly trusting Bishop, believing his advice to be right, and yet…hadn’t I always done the same thing with Judge? I relied on him to kill…slithery things for me and break me out of hospitals and fight off Sangre and drive breakneck speeds without killing us, but that hadn’t made me a lapdog. It had made me happy. Happy knowing that I could always trust Judge. I had always been able to trust him.
Always.
I felt the pavement become uneven under the tires of the bike, breaking into my thoughts, and I clung even harder to Judge. He’d slowed down, but only a little, and as we dodged cracks and potholes in the pavement, I couldn’t help but wonder where the hell we were and where we were going. When I opened up my eyes enough to take a peek at the passing scenery, I saw saguaros whipping past, but not a building or power pole in sight. We had to be in the middle of Fuck Nowhere.
What if Maggie is here?
But no, I couldn’t allow myself to hope for that. Not yet. Not before I knew it was true. Because if it wasn’t, and my hopes were dashed again…I wasn’t sure I could live through that.
Finally, I felt Judge slow down some more and someone began shouting at us. As we came to a stop, I sat up and pulled away from Judge’s sweaty back, the heat of the July sun pounding down on us. A cop was headed our way, and behind him…
Oh my God, half the free world.
There were reporters and police officers and ambulances and EMT personnel and a fire truck and Dead Legion and a lot…
A lot of little girls.
Hispanic little girls.
I threw myself off Judge’s bike and started running up the old, neglected road, hope welling up in me. I heard Judge and the cop’s voices rise as their argument
got more heated but I couldn’t pay attention to them. I couldn’t care. I had to find…
I had to know…
“Ms. Williams!” a student’s voice called out and then a chorus rung out from a dozen little girls, tired and terrified and hungry and hot and here was their teacher, someone they knew, and as one, they all threw themselves at me, wrapping their arms around any available body part they could reach. And I reached out and touched their heads reassuringly, lovingly, hugging them, but inwardly I was searching, looking, looking, looking…
Oh God, what if she didn’t make it? What if Maggie is dead? Oh God, oh God, please don’t let it be so…
It was then that I saw Maggie, off to the side, two paramedics working on her. One bandaging her, one…holding her down? My eyes shot up to Maggie’s face and Maggie yelled, “Ms. Williams, they won’t let me go! Tell them to let me go!”
I waded forward, students clinging to me but I had somehow gained superhuman strength and I didn’t even notice them weighing me down. None of it mattered except to see Maggie Lara again. To look her over and make sure she was okay.
The paramedic who’d been attempting to bandage the wiggling Maggie finally cursed, threw his hands up, and walked away. Maggie took off like a shot and jumped - threw herself at me and I caught her and held her close and cried.
For the second time since the kidnapping, I bawled like a little baby.
“My sweet girl,” I said, stroking Maggie’s hair, cradling her against my chest, the nine year old wrapping her legs around my waist like a monkey.
“I knew you would come for me!” Maggie said. “The other girls started to think we would live forever in that cave but I knew. I knew you wouldn’t let us.”
I pushed Maggie’s hair away from her face, tears making it hard to see, verifying that Maggie was okay through touch alone.
“It wasn’t actually me. I,” I took a deep breath, trying to steady my voice, my nerves, “I had some help. From some very good friends of mine.” If they’ll still have me. If they’ll still claim me.
If Judge will still love me…
As if conjured by my thoughts, I heard Judge’s deep voice behind me.
“You must be the infamous Maggie,” he said, and reached his hand out to shake hers. Maggie screwed up her face and I could tell she was trying to figure out what “infamous” meant. We’d covered a lot in English class, but I hadn’t taught that word.
I whispered in her ear, “It means that he’s heard a lot about you, my sweet girl. From me. I missed you so much. But right now, you have to put out your hand and shake his.”
“Ohhhhh…” She stuck out her left hand past Carmen’s shoulder and Judge gripped it in a weird hand hold that he tried valiantly to act as if it were normal. As if that’s how everyone shook hands. I hid my smile against Maggie’s shoulder.
The chorus of voices around me was growing quieter, and I looked up to see that the girls were being loaded up into several vans. A policewoman came over, holding her arms out for Maggie.
“We’re taking the girls to Social Services to hold until we can figure out the logistics of transporting them back to their parents,” the cop said, sliding her hands underneath Maggie’s armpits. Maggie just clamped down harder onto me, reminding me less of a monkey and more of a barnacle. I was pretty sure that if Maggie could just melt right into me, she’d do it.
“Maggie, the nice lady needs you to go with her,” I said softly into Maggie’s ear. Maggie shook her head violently.
“I don’t have parents!” she wailed, clearly understanding at least that part of the cop’s words. “If they send me back, I have no place to go. The Sangre told us that Santa Maria’s shut down because they didn’t care about us anymore. They were happy to get rid of us so they could quit working so hard to be our teachers. Ms. Williams, is it true? Did Santa Maria’s really close down?”
Tears were streaming down Maggie’s face, wetting my shoulder. I shifted Maggie so I could look her straight in the eye.
“Santa Maria’s did shut down. But not because they were happy that they didn’t have to teach you anymore. It’s…a big mess when students get kidnapped. Did those mean Sangre tell you that you have become news all over the world?”
“Like on the radio?” Maggie asked, screwing up her face as she thought.
“Like on TV.” I looked around for the reporters and found Judge busy trying to fend them off, with the help of a few cops.
The police officer in front of me huffed out a breath. “Listen, lady, we have to get these kids into a hospital to be checked over, and then into a place for the night, with hot baths and food and water.”
And then I did something I never did - I ignored the authority in the room. Or the area. Or whatever.
But the pleasant, polite, law-abiding, non-screaming Carmen Williams had changed a lot in the last few weeks. And I was going to continue the transformation by fighting tooth and nail for the barnacle clinging to me.
I turned on my heel and marched towards the group of reporters off the side, ignoring the shouted demands from the cop behind me.
Judge, seeing me heading their way, stepped off to the side, letting the reporters surge forward, surrounding me. I nodded my thanks to him, butterflies fluttering in my stomach.
We have so much fucking stuff to talk about, you and I, but not right now. Right now, I have to focus on what’s best for Maggie. I have to make her plight known to the world, and let public opinion help me fight for her.
“Today,” my voice rang out, clear and sure and confident, making eye contact with the reporters as I looked around the group, “the Dead Legion finished what the Sangre started almost two weeks ago. They are the true heroes here. When the Sangre climbed onto that bus and shot me, I couldn’t fight back except with words, and that day, words did not matter.
“But today, they do. I want the world to know that Maggie is the only one out of the kidnapped group of students who is in the foster system. Every other student in those vans has a home and parents to go back to. Every other student except my Maggie.”
I took another deep breath when I made eye contact with Judge. I hadn’t exactly asked him what his thoughts were on what I was about to say, and the chances were high that I would lose him over this decision, if I hadn’t lost him already.
But I was done doing what was easy. I was done running from commitments. I was done traveling the world on a whim. Judge had helped me realize that this was what I truly wanted out of life, and if he chose not to follow me down this path…well, it just wasn’t meant to be, then.
No matter how much the idea hurt my heart to think about.
“So today, I am telling the world that I intend to adopt Maggie. And until the adoption papers go through, I intend to house her and feed her and clothe her. She has been through enough; she does not need to be torn from the only person who has ever loved her, yet again.
“I hope that you will all join me in helping make this dream come true, for Maggie and for me.”
I bent my head close to Maggie’s ear and whispered, “Tell the journalists that you want to come live with me,” Maggie nodded against my throat, and then, bravely, lifted her face and stared into the cameras.
“I want Ms. Rodriguez,” she said simply. “I want live with her. I want her to be my mom.”
My eyes welled up and I hugged Maggie closer, whispering in her ear, “And I want you as my daughter.”
I straightened up, tears swimming in my eyes, making it hard to see, and I looked at the horde of reporters who were all gathered around me, shouting questions.
“Thank you for your time,” I half-shouted, and the group instantly quieted down. In a softer tone of voice, I said, “I need to get Maggie fed and into some clean clothes. That’s it for now.”
I turned and began trying to walk away and as if by magic, Judge appeared in front of me, pushing reporters, blocking their microphones from my face. The cops waded into the melee and began forcing the reporters away.
I marched over the policewoman who’d been trying to take Maggie away from me earlier - as if - and said simply, “I came here on a motorcycle, so I don’t have a way of transporting Maggie to the hospital for her to be checked over. I will ride in the van with Maggie so I can be sure she is okay.”
Clenching her jaw, obviously unhappy with my announcement, the cop finally gave a jerky nod of the head.
“That’ll be fine,” she said, turning on her heel and walking to the nearest van. I followed her, talking to Judge as I went.
“Will you follow us to the hospital? You probably need to be checked over yourself for your arm.” I gestured down to his bloody, dirty mess of an arm and he grinned wryly.
“Yeah, probably couldn’t hurt,” he agreed. “Talk to you more there?” His eyes searched me, wanting answers that I wanted to give, but not with an audience.
“Absolutely.”
26
Judge
As I waited impatiently for Carmen to get released by the doctor, my mind went over the impromptu press conference she’d just held, with Maggie cradled in her arms. It’d been amazing to see her fierce protectiveness for Maggie…
And goddamn heartbreaking.
My Maggie.
I will adopt her.
I will house her and feed her and clothe her.
I was not any part of that press conference - it was Carmen and her daughter-to-be only.
I lost her forever. I thought if I saved Maggie, I’d get my Carmen back. I thought she’d give me a second chance. Instead, she’s mapped her whole future out, and I’m not in it.
I was trying so goddamn motherfucking hard to only look at the needs of Maggie - tonight, at least, she needed a roof over her head and someone to protect her. I had to let her into my house, and help watch over her.
But just for tonight.