by Jeff Kitchen
Reverse Cause and Effect for Act I, Sequence 2, Scene 1
I’ll develop a little more detail at this stage, but now I’m down to the particulars of exactly who does and says what in this scene. It still has tight cause and effect, and I’m still separating the Necessary from the Unnecessary.
What’s the Object of the scene? Cutter is trapped by Apollo.
Final Effect: Apollo has Cutter handcuffed to the wall, and his blackmailing efforts are having some effect.
Immediate Cause: Cutter tries to throw Apollo out, but Apollo clicks handcuffs on him, then threatens to turn him in for an old robbery that’s still an open case. He also points out that Cutter owes him—Apollo saved his life in prison.
Cause: Apollo will not go away, and he knows a lot about Cutter’s new life.
Cause: Cutter’s passion surges at the opportunity to destroy St. Nick, but says he’s sworn off that way of life.
Cause: Apollo says he’s landed a once-in-a-lifetime chance to destroy St.
Nick.Cause: Apollo takes his disguise off and Cutter panics.
Cause: Cutter is furious, and Apollo’s having so much fun that he can’t keep up the act and starts laughing.
Cause: Cutter is stunned and doesn’t know what to do, and then Apollo starts asking if he has any kids.
Cause: Apollo comes to Cutter’s door in disguise, pretending to be a registered sex offender who’s just moved into the neighborhood and is required by law to tell each neighbor.
Cause: Apollo has been watching Cutter and decides to make his move now.
Proposition, Plot for Act I, Sequence 2, Scene 1
Protagonist
Antagonist
Initial Act of Aggression
A stranger shows up at Cutter’s door, saying he’s a registered sex offender who’s required by law to inform the neighbors. He inquires if Cutter has any kids.
Justified Retaliation
Cutter becomes furious and tries to get rid of this weirdo.
Aggravation of the Issue The weirdo turns out to be his old cellmate, Apollo, playing a practical joke.
Precipitating Act
Cutter flips out and tries to throw Apollo out before he even starts talking.
Central Dramatic Question
Will Cutter be able to get rid of Apollo, or will Apollo force himself in?
Apollo says he’s found a way to destroy St. Nick—a once-in-alifetime opportunity for revenge.
Cutter is moved but refuses, saying he’s sworn off all that.
Apollo snaps a pair of handcuffs on Cutter and threatens to turn him in for an old crime, which would mean life in jail.
Cutter shouts that he’ll kill him, but he’s powerless.
Normally I would write the dialog for each scene right after doing Sequence, Proposition, Plot, but in this case I’ll outline the next scene first and then write both scenes together.
SEQUENCE, PROPOSITION PLOT FOR ACT I, SEQUENCE 2, SCENE 2
Again, to build this scene I’m using the relevant cause and effect from the sequence level (below), plus the pertinent section of Proposition, Plot, as a map to help think it through again and expand down to final detail. I’m working from the general to the particular.
Cause: Cutter caves in and agrees to listen to Apollo’s plan.
Cause: Mischa shows up, and Apollo tells the story of Cutter hijacking the Rolling Stones in their limousine, and of the legendary rampage the Stones still remember as the single best party they’d ever been to. Mischa is thrilled.
Reverse Cause and Effect for Act I, Sequence 2, Scene 2
Object: Cutter gives in to Apollo’s demand.
Final Effect: Cutter is unnerved and says he’ll listen to the plan, but that Apollo must shut up now and leave Mischa alone.
Immediate Cause: Mischa is ecstatic and has a million questions.
Cause: Apollo tells Mischa about all the damage they did, the women who got pregnant, and the people who had to leave the country. He brags that the Stones still claim it was the best party they’ve ever been to.
Cause: Cutter yells at Apollo to shut up. When he won’t, Cutter breaks a vase over his head, but this doesn’t faze him in the least.
Cause: Apollo offers the joint to Mischa, who wants it but is stared down by his father.
Cause: Apollo is having a blast telling his stories; he lights up a joint.
Cause: Apollo describes how at one point, Cutter was naked on roller skates being pulled down the street by seven naked women also on skates.
Cause: Mischa is stunned that his dad was that crazy and asks Apollo to tell him more.
Cause: Apollo tells Mischa that his dad is the world’s greatest liar and would steal anything. One time he even stole the Rolling Stones’ limo—with them in it—and took them on a legendary three-day bender through five states before the National Guard cornered them at the Canadian border.
Cause: Mischa wants to know about his father’s wild side. He says he’s heard rumors, but Cutter will never tell him anything.
Cause: Mischa walks in on Apollo and Cutter, and Apollo introduces himself as his father’s old friend.
Proposition, Plot for Act I, Sequence 2, Scene 2
Protagonist
Antagonist
Initial Act of Aggression
Apollo tells Mischa about the time time he stole the Rolling Stones’ limo took them all on a three-day bender.
Justified Retaliation
Cutter tries to force Apollo to shut up and orders Mischa to not listen.
Aggravation of the Issue
Apollo lights up a joint and offers some to Mischa.
Precipitating Act
Cutter orders Mischa not to smoke it, and breaks a vase over Apollo’s head to try to stop him.
Central Dramatic Question
Will Cutter get Apollo to shut up, or will Apollo tell all to Mischa?
Apollo says that at one point Cutter was being pulled down the street on roller skates by seven naked girls.
Cutter is screaming, ripping his plumbing apart to get out of the handcuffs.
Apollo tells Mischa how Cutter lied his way out of trouble for stealing the limo.
Cutter gives in and says he’ll hear Apollo out if he stops talking to Mischa.
WRITING TWO SCENES BASED ON THE PREVIOUS STRUCTURING
Now I’m able to write the actual scenes based on the structuring I’ve done with this tool, looking at my blueprint of Sequence, Proposition, Plot for each scene as I write it. I’m not a slave to this structure, but it gives me a shape from which to write that’s reliably tight and dramatic. I won’t be tempted to introduce anything into this scene that’s unnecessary or dramatically flat, but I can also let it breathe. Compare it to jazz—you know the chords you’ll be playing, but you can freely improvise on them.
Writing great dialog is such an art form. Probably the best way to learn more about it is to study the masters. Soak yourself in the work of Robert Towne, Billy Wilder, Quentin Tarantino, David Mamet, Preston Sturges, Christopher McQuarrie, Alvin Sargent, Paddy Chayefsky, William Goldman, Ernst Lehman, Howard Koch, Aaron Sorkin, John Huston, the Coen brothers. . . . The list is as long as you and your screenwriting buddies want to make it. Everybody has their favorites.
Remember, this is not the opening scene. Imagine that I’ve already built the entire opening sequence consisting of several scenes. The scenes I’m inventing here come after the audience has met Cutter, Mischa, and Margarita. Cutter has just had a fight with his wife about her suspicions that he’s longing for his old ways, and he’s sworn he isn’t. He has taken some antidepressants and gone for a bike ride to clear his head. Scene 2 starts when Mischa shows up.
Act I, Sequence 2, Scene 1
EXT. CUTTER’S HOME—DAY
Cutter bikes down the tree-lined street and pulls into his driveway. He waves to the neighbor’s Mexican gardener who works among the roses, and goes inside.
The gardener squats down behind a rosebush and, with a furtive look around, strips off his grubby shirt. Underneath is a maroon silk shirt. He steps out of his green work pants and is wearing pleated linen slacks.
He slides off his straw hat and replaces it with a Yankees baseball cap, then slips on a pair of sunglasses and, with another glance around, applies a bushy fake moustache. Crossing the driveway, the gardener rings Cutter’s doorbell, holding a rose in his hand.
INT. CUTTER’S LIVING ROOM—DAY
Cutter has just tossed his shirt down the basement stairs when the doorbell rings. He looks down at his tiny biking shorts, then walks over and opens the door. Standing there is a strange man with a forced smile. He’s wearing garish clothes and his posture is terrible. He gazes at Cutter’s bare chest uncomfortably, an orange rose held before him like a talisman. Cutter stares at him for a moment too long, then shakes it off.
CUTTER
Can I help you?
MAN
Um, yeah. . . . I. . . . ahh. . . .
(smiling bigger)
I’m new in the neighborhood.
CUTTER
(checking out this weirdo)
That’s . . . that’s good. Hello, I’m Cutter Haywood.
(holding out his hand)
Pleased to meet you.
MAN
Yes, yes.
(taking his hand)
My name is Jasper Sullivan.
He continues clutching Cutter’s hand.
JASPER
I . . . I’m required by law to inform you that I am
a . . . a . . . registered sex offender.
Cutter’s eyes go blank, then he looks down, sees he’s hardly got anything on and tugs his hand out of Jasper’s.
JASPER
I’m so sorry. The police make me do this whenever I move somewhere new.
Cutter is totally thrown off and stares like a deer caught in headlights.
CUTTER
I . . . that’s . . .
JASPER
I know how you must feel. Trying to imagine the things I must have done, um. . . .
(his smile fading)
Do you mind if I ask you something?
CUTTER
What? Yes . . . okay.
JASPER
Do you have any children?
CUTTER
WHAT?!
JASPER
(his eyes twinkling)
Any teenagers?
Cutter is caught between disbelief and rage.
CUTTER
Who . . . what did you . . . .
He steps up to Jasper, who doesn’t pull back, so they stand face to face. Jasper is intensely aware that Cutter is wearing practically nothing.
CUTTER
Get . . . OUT!
JASPER
I’d just like to speak to your son. Is he here?
Cutter stares in shock.
CUTTER
I don’t know who the hell you are, mister, but you get your ass off my property or I’m calling the cops.
(glaring furiously)
Fact is, I’m calling ’em anyway.
Jasper stares at him dizzily.
JASPER
I . . . just want to play with Mischa.
Cutter is thunderstruck and looks around for something to hurt Jasper with. He grabs a vase of flowers and turns back to find Jasper giggling.
CUTTER
(hefting the vase)
I’m warning you, Buster!
Jasper bursts out laughing and can’t stop. Cutter stares warily at him, now really not knowing what to think.
As Cutter watches, the guy peels off the moustache, removes the glasses, pulls off the baseball cap, and straightens up.
CLOSE ON Cutter’s face as his pupils dilate instantly and he draws in a sharp breath.
JASPER
You guessed it, buddy boy.
Cutter cannot speak, but a full spectrum of emotions flicker across his face, most of them fear-related.
JASPER
Listen, listen. I know what you’re gonna say.
CUTTER
Apollo. . . .
(snapping out of it)
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!! GET OUT!! Get out of my house this INSTANT!!
(shoving him toward the door)
I don’t wanna hear it!
APOLLO
(laughing again)
Man, the look on your face! It was priceless!
He screams with laughter and Cutter can’t help but crack a smile himself. Cutter recovers quickly and glares at Apollo, who turns serious.
APOLLO
Listen, man, I got a way to take down St. Nick, big-time. Payback for Frenchy.
That gets Cutter’s attention and it stops him. He sets the vase down on a shelf, and wrestles with his emotions. Then his eyes harden and he turns coldly on Apollo.
APOLLO
Bastard’s trying to go straight and buy a bank. He’s vulnerable right now and we could totally finish him off. This kind of opportunity only happens in fairy tales.
CUTTER
Every word out of your mouth is a friggin’ fairy tale! Listen, I loved Frenchy as much as anybody . . . more, but I DO NOT do that stuff anymore. I’ve sworn off it . . . straight and true. You don’t have the least idea what my life is like now.
APOLLO
(chuckling)
Sure I do . . . you survive on Prozac, sleeping pills, and allergy medicine. You’re tired, depressed, and feeling trapped. You got therapy, you got hives, and . . . hell, you used to be Superman himself. Now look at—
CUTTER
Goddamn you! I will not—
He goes to raise his hand to make a point, but there’s a clicking sound at his wrist and his arm stops short.
Cutter looks down and finds himself handcuffed to the radiator pipe. He yanks hard, but he’s trapped. Apollo grins happily at him and strides to the mantle, where he pours himself a tall shot of brandy and gulps it down.
CUTTER
I’ll kill you! I swear I will!
APOLLO
Good. That’s great. Then we’re in agreement. Now maybe we can have ourselves a civilized conversation.
CUTTER
Once upon a time you were my best friend, but I never trusted you and I sure as hell don’t now. The answer is no. N-O.
APOLLO
(pouring another brandy)
Look, we can do this the hard way where I call Detective Henries and remind him about a certain missing supercomputer. The statute of limitations still ain’t run out on that sucker, ya know? Something about it being government property and all. Three strikes and you’re a lifer . . . pally.
(smiling expansively)
Or we can do it the easy way . . . the good old way, ya know? Besides, you still owe me your life. Remember that, dickwad?
Cutter’s eyes go wide. As he contemplates this, the door opens and Mischa enters.
Act I, Sequence 2, Scene 2
MISCHA
Who are you?
He spots his dad handcuffed to the wall in tiny red spandex shorts and stares in amazement.
MISCHA
Dad?
APOLLO
I’m a buddy of your pop’s from back in the day. We’re just catching up on old times.
(smiling big)
You must be Mischa. I’m Apollo Marseilles. Damn glad to meet you.
(they shake)
Heard a lot about you, Sonny.
MISCHA
Where do you know Dad from?
APOLLO
We were cellmates.
MISCHA
(cringing; not sure he heard right)
Soul mates?
Apollo laughs out loud and shoves Mischa playfully.
APOLLO
No man . . . CELLmates. In the joint together for eight years. Federal prison, ya know?
Cutter cringes as Mischa’s eyes go wide and a mischievous grin lights up his face.
MISCHA
Really? Oh my god . . . what was
he like back then? He’ll never tell me anything. I’ve heard rumors and—
CUTTER
DON’T! Mischa don’t! You don’t want to know.
Apollo puts an arm around Mischa and they turn to face Cutter.
APOLLO
Come on now. I think it’s important for a son to know about his daddy. Especially when you were in stir for so much of his childhood. This is what he missed out on.
Now your old man is flat-out the wildest mother . . . He was CRAY-ZEE! Could lie like a rattlesnake and steal the stripes off a zebra.
(laughing)
Hell, man, one time he even stole the Rolling Stones’ limousine . . . with them IN it!
CUTTER
Apollo shut UP! Mischa, NO!
MISCHA
Dude! The Stones are my favorite band of all time!
APOLLO
(slapping him on the shoulder)
Well they’re your dad’s, too.
(winking at Cutter)
See? You two are bonding already.
CUTTER
Shut the hell up! You—
APOLLO
(laughing; to Mischa)
They all went off on this legendary three-day bender through five states before the National Guard finally cornered them at the Canadian border.
MISCHA
I can’t believe it. Dad?
Cutter stares daggers at Apollo, whose eyes glitter like sparklers. He pulls out a fat joint and lights it up, then takes a big hit and offers it to Mischa.
APOLLO
(holding his breath)
It’s killer.
CUTTER
NO, NO! DON’T! Goddamn you Apollo! Mischa don’t smoke that!
He frantically searches for anything to murder Apollo with and finds the vase. He whips it at Apollo and it smashes over his head, but that doesn’t faze him in the least. Apollo turns and shoots him a demented look.
APOLLO
Come on, pardner. Trying to tell a story here, okay? At one point on that trip they found your old man roller-skating buck naked down Chicago Avenue being pulled by seven naked girls on roller skates. Cutter had on a Zorro mask, with a whip in one hand and a bottle of Jack in the other, singing “Sharp Dressed Man” at the top of his lungs. Damn police couldn’t catch him—