by Adriana Peck
“Pretty late for a business call, isn’t it?” I ask, peering in my rearview mirror at my back seat.
“Well, yes and no. You’re busy?”
I turn around, look at the pile of envelopes in the back. I suppose they aren’t going anywhere. “No, I've got a minute. What’s up?”
“I’m closing up my shop, but I saw your registry’s doing pretty good. Thought I could talk to you about that if you had the time.”
“Yeah. We…we got a ton of support in the mail. I didn’t know that many people read the paper. How’d you know about all the letters?”
“I set up an online portal. A few people put their gifts up online.”
I nod. “Oh.”
“Nancy, are you and Jake…?”
“What? Do you want to talk to him? He’s not here.”
“It’s just—I heard some things when I went out on my lunch break, I thought you could clarify a few of them, if that’s alright with you.”
I press the phone’s microphone into my shoulder and groan. Guess this was bound to happen. I could do without the damn rumors, but I guess I don’t have much of a choice now, do I?
I lift the phone back up to my ear, a fake smile spread across my face as I stare into the parking lot ahead of me.
“Sure.”
“Well, Nancy, I was in Nora’s and I happened to overhear a few other customers talking about…Jake. He came by during lunch the other day.”
“Other people usually don’t have nice things to say about him, Janice, I’d ignore it if I was you—”
“I’m just worried about you, Nancy. He sounds like he hasn’t changed since high school. He went to jail. Twice, I might add. Once in high school, the other just a week or so ago.”
“He got into a fight, yeah. But it’s complicated,” I sigh. I don’t feel like explaining the whole thing to Janice, that Jake was just beating up some rude asshole talking smack about me. He was defending my honor. As far as I know, Jake hasn’t done anything else.
“No, it’s not that. Nancy, I heard he was planning on running out on you.”
I pause, sitting up in the front seat of my car. “What? Who said that?”
Janice clears her throat, I can tell she’s proud of the juicy gossip she’s dangling over me.
“I thought you said not to believe what other people say about him.”
“Janice, tell me what you heard. Please,” I practically beg her. I’m nervous as can be, I feel my heart racing a mile a minute. Her words sound sincere, I have a hard time not believing what Janice says to me.
“Alright. A little birdie told me that they heard Jake talking about your engagement around town. That your marriage was fake. That he’s going to skip town as soon as he’s got the registry gifts in his possession.”
I feel a cold sweat breaking out. Sure, that was the plan. Janice is half right about that.
Guess she didn’t hear the part where I was in on it the entire time.
“Janice, that’s…terrible.”
“I knew it wasn’t true, Nancy. I just had to tell you what I heard. People are spreading that all over town like a virus.”
“Well, I’m sorry you had to hear that. Especially since you set up the registry for us,” I say, peering again into the backseat at the duffel bags full of envelopes.
Hey, I was about to start returning those. Give me a break.
“I’m glad to hear you two are doing okay, then.”
I pause, freezing in place. Instinctively I want to correct her, but I know it’s pointless. It wouldn’t go anywhere, it’d just add fuel to the wildfire spreading around town.
“Thanks, Janice. I hope you’re doing alright, too.”
“Busy as a bee, what can I say? You’re the most popular registry all season.”
When we hang up, I feel even guiltier than I did before. Jake and I were planning on doing a shitty thing to people. We did do a shitty thing to people; taking advantage of everyone’s kindness in Twin Orchards was a terrible thing to do. If my parents could see me right now, I know they’d be disgusted with me. And I’m certain there’s only one way I can begin to make all this right.
I know I have to return these gifts. Even if it takes me a hundred years, I’m going to make sure all of these go back to their original sender.
Even if it kills me.
I start my engine, ready to start making things right.
◆◆◆
The first envelope takes me all the way across town, and I know I’m probably going to go through an entire tank of gas in one evening. The first unopened envelope’s addressed from a Michael Murray, 349 Elm Street. With my phone plugged into my car charger, the GPS up and running, I don’t have any difficulty making my way to Elm. I flick my brights on, scanning each semi-identical house on the sub-suburban block for the number.
When I reach 349, I pull up next to the mailbox, putting my little sedan in park as I roll down my window. I pull out a pen, scrawling a note on the letter before putting the envelope in the mailbox.
I shut 349’s mailbox, sighing to myself as I slump back in my seat.
One down.
A few hundred more to go.
I flick on the overhead light above me, turning around as I start to fish through the duffel bag in the back seat before bringing it up to the passenger’s side. Easier to rifle through that way.
I check every envelope I can in the dim light. There’s a shit-load here, and I know I still have two bags more to go after this one. There aren’t any more envelopes in here addressed from Elm, so I move onto the next one.
After I plug the address into my GPS, I can see it’s already half-past nine.
I don’t care if this takes me all night. This could take me a few days, all week, even.
No matter what, I’m going to do the right thing.
I push onwards, flicking off my overhead light as I pull back out onto the road.
◆◆◆
I visit house after house, dropping off letter after letter. This one’s from Paul the mechanic, and I write a note that I won’t be cashing his check. This one’s from Nigel Knoxley himself; Nora’s name is nowhere to be found on the envelope, and I put that one back in the bags in the back seat, telling myself I’ll get to it later. I return more letters to trailer homes, apartments, duplex houses. Another one is from Barry, another from Principal Garry. I can’t keep track of all these, and I end up running out of gas after the first duffel bag is finished.
I drive down Main Street, heading for the one gas station here in town. My tank’s almost on empty, I can feel the tiredness of the long night wearing down on me. My phone’s GPS is still up, I can see it’s well after midnight. I’m thoroughly exhausted, and I know I can’t make it home on what’s left of this tank of gas.
I pull up to the station just as the needle hits the ‘E’. I hop out, shivering in the cold fall evening as I swipe my card, put the nozzle in my car’s tank as it starts to refuel.
I look around, curious to know who else’s out this late. Now that I’m officially unemployed, it’s interesting to see the night life around Twin Orchards, even if it’s as barren as this gas station’s parking lot.
Except for one car approaching, one set of headlights I can see cruising down Main. I see it now.
A rusted-red pickup truck pulls into the gas station and parks a few nozzles down from me.
I can hardly believe this. I don’t know if I should cry tears of joy or frustration, it’s all coming up at once.
Jake Reeves hops out of the rusted pickup truck, grinning hesitantly through the darkness of the night when he sees me.
Twenty-Five
Nancy
I can’t believe it’s him. It’s like I’m seeing him for the first time all over again. His smile. Those piercing dark eyes. The way his muscles peek out from tight folds in his hoodie’s sleeves. I don’t know how, but he’s amped the charm up without saying a single word. As we stand there at the gas station, a few nozzles apart, Jake shoots me a cautious win
k.
I’m smitten all over again, I swear.
But it’s hard to forget what happened between us. I mean, sure, I screwed up. I’ll admit that. I was too harsh on Jake when he was just trying to help us out by getting a job. But Jake messed up, too, and it feels like I’m the only one willing to admit it.
Jake takes the nozzle from the pump he’s parked next to, swipes his card as he starts to re-fill his truck.
“Come here often?” he calls out at me. I can’t help but giggle at that, and I turn to face Jake as we both fill up our tanks.
“Maybe. Maybe not.”
“Can’t win with that, can I?”
“Guess you can’t,” I call back to him. I’m grinning like an idiot. Despite how things ended between us, I’m still happy to see him.
The pump next to me dings, signaling to me that my car’s full up. I take out the nozzle, re-placing it back at the pump as I turn and face Jake again.
“What are you doing out this late?” I ask. “You’re at the…box factory, right? Don’t you have to be up early to clock in?”
Jake nods. “The one and only. And yeah. Shift starts at five. But I couldn’t sleep. Not after what happened with us.”
I feel like we’re too far apart to hold a normal conversation, and I take a few tentative steps toward Jake. It’s not enough to close the distance between us, but it’s a pretty good start.
“I started sending back all the gifts,” I say. “I thought you should know. We got a lot of them, three duffel bags worth of letters. I got one bagful returned already. The rest are in my backseat.”
“Good,” is all Jake says. For a moment I’m stunned. I can’t believe this is the same Jake who came up with this little scheme in the first place. It’s like he wants the plan to be over, too.
Maybe now I won’t have to do all this cleaning up alone.
“What…what do you mean, good?” I ask, taking another step forward as Jake continues to refuel his car. It’s late, there’s nobody in the lot to eye us. Judge us. It’s just the two of us out here.
“I mean just that,” Jake says. “Good. I’m glad to hear you’re taking the gifts back. It’s the right thing to do.”
My eyes widen as I inch along, closer and closer to Jake with each passing step. “You mean that?”
Jake nods. “I do.”
The pump next to him dings, and Jake pulls out the nozzle as he shakes it carefully about, placing it back in the slot on the side of the pump.
“What we were doing was wrong, Nancy. I can see that now,” he says as he turns back to face me. “I’m sorry for dragging you into that. You’re a nice girl. You deserve a hell of a lot better than me.”
I feel the butterflies in my stomach taking off, launching into the stratosphere of my very being.
“I don’t want better,” I tell him. “I think I just want you.”
Jake’s eyes light up when I say that, and a hesitant smile breaks out as he smiles at me through the night’s darkness.
“I was thinking we could get together, then. Hash things out.”
“I’m not that easy anymore,” I say, only half-joking. “You’re going to have to earn that trust back.”
I know I’m serious, but I hope Jake takes the hint. Things can’t go back to the way things were just like that. I’m not subjecting myself to that kind of whiplash ever again.
Jake grins. “So you’re saying there’s a chance, then?”
I can’t help it. I giggle like a schoolgirl, a part of me still excited that a guy like Jake would still take a chance on a girl like me. I know things haven’t entirely ended between us, I doubt I ever would have closed the book on Jake given the circumstances.
But it’s nice to know I’m still wanted.
I take one last step, I’m only a few feet away from Jake now.
“I’m getting pretty tired. I think I’m going to head home, get to bed,” I say. “I can finish taking the rest of the letters back to their senders in the morning. You’re welcome to join me after work, if you want.”
Jake sighs, but still nods at my request. I’m glad to know he’s willing to help out. It makes him look better that way.
“Can I ask you something?” he says after a moment’s pause.
“Anything.”
I catch myself saying that a little too desperately. But Jake just shakes his head.
“I can’t ask it here. Not at a…gas station, of all fucking places. Hop in my truck, I want to take you somewhere.”
“I’m not leaving my car here,” I tell him.
I see Jake’s ego deflate for just a moment, until I add: “But you can follow me back home. Pick me up after I’ve dropped my car off. I’ve still got some time left in me before I crash.”
Jake’s eyes light up.
“Nothing would make me happier,” he says.
◆◆◆
It’s getting close to two in the morning by the time we make it back to my apartment. Jake follows closely behind me, parking next to me as I hop out of my little sedan and get into the front seat of his truck as he keeps the engine rumbling. It’s nice being here, next to him again. It’s only been a day, but still, I missed this.
“So, what were you going to ask me?”
“Not yet,” Jake says, grinning as he shakes his head. “Just a little way’s drive away. I promise, we won’t be gone long.”
I shrug. “Works for me.”
Jake backs his truck out of the parking spot, starting our drive back down the road. Nobody else is out this late at night, no lights are on in any other apartment or homes we pass by. It’s like Jake and I are the last ones awake, the last ones standing after such a long day.
As he drives me down the gravely highway I turn and face Jake, a question burning a hole in the forefront of my mind.
“So, what changed?”
“Huh?”
“Back at the gas station. You said it was good I was taking all those gifts back. The ones we’d gotten from everyone in town.”
Jake nods. “After you told me how many letters you got…yeah. It’s the right thing to do. And something else happened, too.”
“What?"
Jake takes a deep breath, his hands glued to the wheel as he stares straight ahead.
“I didn’t tell that many people you and I were ‘engaged,’” he explains. “But telling my parents broke my heart. I couldn’t lie to them. But I did. They were so proud of me. Genuinely happy, like I’d turned a real corner. I could see the hope in their eyes. And it’s fucking me up.”
I see the glisten of tears out of the corner of Jake’s eye. My heart is utterly breaking for him, I wish there was something I could to to help him feel better.
I reach across the seat, resting a hand on his thigh as he drives. I smile up at Jake, and he gives me a smile back.
It’s just what he needed, I think.
These roads are familiar to me, oddly enough, and I look around at the familiar path Jake is driving us along. We’ve moved into a forest, the trees growing thicker as we drive up the winding path.
It’s a quiet ride there, but I’m happy to be in Jake’s company. I can tell he needed this, too, and I’m glad we can finally put our respective BS aside to confide in one another again.
Then we reach his destination, and I gasp.
It’s his clearing. The same open field with the lake in the center of it, surrounded by tall grass, trees bordering the clearing.
But it’s come alive tonight.
Lights flicker over the tall grass like the stars themselves fell from the sky. It takes me a moment to see it, but then I understand what I’m looking at. Fireflies. Thousands of them, dancing together in the glow of the night. They’re lighting up the entire clearing, I can see the dark waters of the lake perfectly from here, and the stars have never looked clearer overhead.
Jake turns and smiles at me. “You wanna hop out?”
I grin. “Is that what you wanted to ask me?”
Jake nods over
at the dock in the center of the lake, just a short walk’s away. “No. We’ll go over there,” he says.
We hop out of the truck, and Jake takes my hand as we walk to the dock, the fireflies illuminating our path. I can hear the faint chirping of crickets around us, birds are singing a goodnight song from the trees.
I’ve never been in a more beautiful place.
We step up onto the wooden dock, and it creaks underneath us as we walk out to the center of the lake. I can feel my heart begin to race, I know whatever Jake’s brought me here to ask is almost upon me. I know he’s not the jerk people in town make him out to be. I know we’re just as weird apart as we are together; I know that Jake completes me, in the oddest sense of the word.
But I know it’s true.
Jake turns, facing me as he takes my hands in his. The fireflies dance around us, the night coming alive with the sounds of nature.
“Nancy, I wanted to ask you something.”
“Anything.” I can’t help but smile, I know Jake can see how red my cheeks are in the glow of the night. But I don’t think he cares about that.
“Our engagement. It was all a sham, a scam that was fake on paper. But…”
“But?”
Jake’s face is aglow, bright from the fireflies that dance all around us. “But I have to know. Deep down, under that scummy plan of ours, I think I felt something. Something real. I wanted to ask you if you felt that, too.”
I can hardly breathe.
“Because it was real for me,” Jake finishes.
I feel like the world’s spinning underneath me, I feel like Jake’s just yanked the rug out from under me. But I’m not sick. I don’t think he’s all that wrong, either.
I know I felt it, too.
“It was real for me,” I breathe back.
In the darkness of the night, the soft glow of the fireflies around us, Jake leans down and kisses me again.
And this time, I know it means business.
Our kissing grows more and more passionate with each passing moment. I’ve never been more happy to see someone, to be with someone. My heart is bursting at the seams, and I feel an immense joy as his arms wrap around my waist. I bring my arms up to his shoulders as I fall into him. I’ve never felt more complete, more open to knowing somebody like I’ve gotten to know Jake. And I like everything he’s shown me so far. I want to know more, I want to study every square inch of his being that I can. His kisses are powerful, bringing me back to life as I feel myself sinking more and more into him.