by Adriana Peck
“You ready?” he asks.
“Oh, yeah.”
We make our way past the front gates, stepping out into the reconstructed plaza as we take in the sights around us. The Ferris wheel towers high above the town square, other carnival games are scattered around us in between concession stands and tents with games and activities. The smell of food wafts through the air; at any point I can smell a whiff of funnel cakes, kettle corn, turkey legs and so, so much more. Live rock music blares, and I can see the stage that’s been set up in front of city hall where a local band jams out for the crowd gathered before them. It’s like the air itself has been weaponized with nostalgia, and everywhere I look I can feel the warm comfort of home.
But it’s not the same without Jake here.
Barry and I pace around the fairgrounds, stopping every once in a while to grab a bite to eat or to play a game. We pass a plastic cone of cotton candy back and forth as my longtime friend and I peruse the festival, wondering where the night’ll take us. We stop in front of one of those ‘test your strength’ machines, and Barry scores a weakling grade as we both laugh our collective asses off.
“You two look like you’re having fun,” a voice says behind me. I turn around, and I see the familiar faces of the town mechanic and principal. Paul and Garry make an odd pair, and they look like they were just in the middle of a conversation when Paul interrupted us.
Barry smiles, handing the cotton candy back for me to finish. “Great time,” he says, beaming. “You guys liking it out here?”
Principal Garry nods. “Oh, yes. I needed a night off.”
“Us, too,” I reply. Meanwhile, Barry spots something behind Paul and Garry and he cranes his neck to get a better view.
“You. Guys,” Barry says, stunned. “They’ve got a hall of mirrors over there, if you can believe it. It’s been years since I’ve been in one of those, you all want to check it out?”
Paul and Garry shrug, nodding at Barry as he starts to lead our ragtag group across the fairgrounds. I stop in my tracks, motioning for my friends to keep going when they stop and look at me in confusion.
“You guys go ahead, I’ll catch up with you,” I tell them.
Paul, Barry and Garry all shrug collectively.
“You sure, Nance?” Barry asks me. I know he’s just worried about me after our conversation at the café today, but I really think I’m going to be alright. I nod as Barry, Garry and Paul all bid me goodbye, starting back off toward the hall of mirrors.
They turn, leaving me alone as I sigh deeply to myself. The fairgrounds around me have never looked more alive, never been as enticing as they are right now. But I’ve never felt more uninspired, I’ve never been more down on my luck than I am right now.
I miss Jake, plain and simple.
I start to wander the fairgrounds, tossing the paper cone away once I’ve finished the cotton candy. The crowds scatter about, I have to weave and duck between people as I move my way across the fairgrounds. I see families holding hands, happy as can be. I see couples kissing, sharing their warmth to brave the cold wind of the fall air. And I’ve never felt more alone. I’m sick of feeling this way, I’m tired of the lonesomeness. The depression. The isolation. I’m sick to my stomach, and the cure’s a thousand miles away or more by now.
Up ahead, a flash of someone familiar in the crowd sends a jolt of electricity down my spine.
No.
I must be seeing things, because there’s no way.
I’m probably just going crazy.
I rub my eyes, clearing my thoughts as I keep walking. I push ahead, strolling aimlessly around the fairgrounds as I look for some semblance of inner peace.
And then I see him again. I see his messy brown hair, his broad shoulders. I can see a glimpse of his face, I catch just a flash of his trademark smile.
And I know I’m not hallucinating.
Jake Reeves is here. Back in Twin Orchards. At the HalloweenFest, of all places.
I feel a sinking sensation in my gut.
I can see him on the other side of the fairgrounds, buying a turkey leg as he thanks the cashier with his trademark cheeky smile.
Oh my God.
A million thoughts race through my mind all at once.
I’m angry, hurt, depressed beyond belief. Part of me wonders why he came back to town without telling me, and another part of me is just excited to see him. Another part of me feels pure shock, unable to accept the reality before my very eyes. Yet another part of me feels betrayed, wondering if he ever left town in the first place.
I want answers.
So I don’t waste another second.
I start walking toward Jake, closing the gap between us as I trek across the fairgrounds. I feel my heart begin to race, and I watch as Jake disappears into a crowd up ahead. I don’t know if he’s seen me yet, I have no idea if he even knows I’m here tonight. He’s going to learn that soon enough, as soon as I’m able to catch up to him. I follow after Jake, doing my best to keep my eyes on him as I chase him through the sea of people. I can see him up ahead, his head darting around as he checks out each and every booth we pass by.
What is he looking for? Or could it be a who?
Someone in the crowd jostles me, I lose my footing as I struggle to keep on my feet. I regain my balance, keeping my head held aloft as I look for Jake after temporarily losing track of him.
And he’s nowhere to be seen.
I feel my heart rate accelerating, I feel a fear that I’ve lost Jake for good.
Or that he was never even here to begin with. Part of me is terrified I’m losing my marbles, hallucinating the sight of Jake when I miss him the most. I can’t let that be an option, and I scan the crowd with an urging I’ve never felt before in my entire life.
I have to find him.
But there’s no sign of him. Gone without a trace. Again.
I sink to my knees, defeated.
I’d come this far just to fail. Just for life to taunt me one more time with the haunting memory of Jake leaving me.
The live music, the carnival sounds, the chatter of townspeople all swim around my head endlessly. I feel overwhelmed, exhausted to the point of collapse, and I stay hunkered down on my knees as the crowd of legs passes around me.
I’ve lost.
It’s all over. Jake wasn’t even back to begin with, I’m sure, and I know I’m probably going to have to talk to a shrink one of these days—
I hear a commotion coming from the stage in front of city hall, and I get to my feet as I turn to face what’s going on. It’s the live music stage that’s been set up, and I can see moving figures struggling about near the front of the crowd. I hear shoving, someone’s pushing their way onstage. The crowd around me slows down, turning to face the stage as well. I crane my neck to get a better view, and I gasp when I see what’s unfolding out on stage.
It’s Jake. He’s really here, he’s real. And he’s clamoring his way onstage, much to the chagrin of the lead singer.
“What the hell are you doing, man?” I hear the singer’s muttering through the speakers placed about the fairgrounds.
“Just—stop, let me get—” I can hear Jake’s voice through the speakers as well, and I watch as Jake pushes the lead singer aside and grabs the microphone while my heart does a backflip in my chest. The crowd gathered around the stage begins to boo, and I can sense the collective anger of the town growing.
I can’t move. I’m frozen in place, and all I can do is watch.
“H-hello?” Jake talks into the mic, feedback screeching through the speakers. “Can you guys hear me okay?”
“Shut the fuck up and get off the stage!” a voice cries out from somewhere in the crowd. Jake chuckles, holds up a finger to signal them to wait.
“Just one thing first,” he says. He pauses, I can hear him taking a deep breath as he collects himself. He leans out, scanning the crowd as he asks his question.
“Does anyone know if Nancy Callahan is here?”
&n
bsp; Thirty-One
Nancy
“Does anyone know if Nancy Callahan is here?”
When Jake asks his question to the frustrated crowd, the whole fairgrounds goes silent as his voice echoes from the speakers. The carnival music plays faintly in the background, all the whispers and chattering coming from the crowd suddenly stops as Jake stands back up to wait for his answer. The entire town’s here, everything laid out bare for the entire community to witness.
“She’s here, I’ve seen her somewhere around,” one voice calls out in response.
“Who gives a shit? Get him off the stage!” another cries out from somewhere in the crowd.
The muttering of the crowd resumes, and I can feel my heart racing a thousand miles a minute. I’ve never felt more nervous, more anxious.
Jake is here, and he’s looking for me. I thought I was crazy for looking for him. Guess that makes two of us.
“Nancy, I hope you can hear me,” Jake says, holding the microphone steady in his hand while he speaks. “Because I came back to tell you something.”
“Get this asshole off the stage!” a voice hollers out, and the crowd starts to cheer in response. I watch as a few do-gooders try to rush the stage, pull Jake off, but it’s no use. Jake shoves them back, keeping his distance from anyone trying to interrupt his declaration.
“Nancy, I’m sorry,” Jake’s voice echo through the speakers around the fairgrounds, and everyone in town stops to listen. I don’t know if he can see me from the stage; for all I know he’s addressing someone he can’t even see himself. “I’m sorry for everything. And it’s time I come clean with the entire town, too.”
“It’s time you got the fuck off the stage already!”
Jake clears his throat, I can see him closing his eyes for a moment while he collects himself.
“I lied,” he says.
“I lied to all of you. I lied to my family. To what little friends I have left here. And worst of all, I lied to you, Nancy.”
The whole festival goes silent as Jake continues.
“I lied about the engagement. There, it’s out there. The announcement, the registry, it was all a lie. I misled Nancy. She didn’t do wrong by any of you. It was all me, and I hope I can bear the brunt of your anger. Nancy didn’t do a single thing wrong.”
The crowd begins to boo, and I see Jake cringe as he ventures out past the point of no return. He’s bearing all the shame for our lies, and I’m already indebted to him beyond belief.
I just hope I’ll get to say something to him before all this is said and done.
“The Military taught me honor, real American values while I was overseas. And I threw them all away when I came back here. I came up with a scheme to rid you all of your money. Come up with a fake engagement to the nicest girl in town. But somewhere along the way, something happened. Something changed. I need to do the honorable thing here. And I need Nancy to hear it.”
My heart jumps up to my throat, and I feel like my whole world’s spinning. I want to rush to him, fling myself into Jake’s open arms. But I’m frozen in place, unable to move.
“I love you, Nancy Callahan. And I mean every word of it.”
My world falls in shambles around me as Jake’s words echo through my mind.
He loves me.
I can hardly believe it.
Sure, I’ve felt those same feelings for him, too. I think back to all those nights with him by my side. I know we had our time together, and I reveled in every second of it. The dates ending at my apartment, the night we shared in the bed of his truck by the lake. But he left me out to dry, he left town to run away from a fight. I don’t know if I can forgive that just yet, but I have to let him know I’m here. I have to let him know I’m listening.
I step out into the crowd, walking through the masses of people until Jake’s eyes light up from the stage. Our eyes lock, and I know he sees me just as I’m seeing him now.
It’s all out there, it’s now or never.
He pauses in disbelief, lowering the microphone to speak in a normal volume after a moment of silence from the crowd.
“Nancy?”
“Jake? What are you doing back here?”
I’m speaking loud enough for my voice to carry, loud enough for Jake to hear on the stage. I can feel the entire crowd’s eyes on me, the entire town’s watching as we speak for the first time in days.
“I had to come back,” he explains. “I couldn’t just leave you the way I did.”
“But you still left,” I reply, my voice carrying out over the crowd. “I returned all the letters, by the way.”
“I heard,” Jake says. His voice is quiet, solemn, but the crowd’s silent enough for me to hear him all the same. “I’m sorry you had to do that alone. I shouldn’t have left you, that was wrong of me.”
“You think so?” I snap back. I’m annoyed, angry. I can’t help it, really, but I think you’d be hard-pressed to find anyone in this crowd who disagrees with me. Jake’s still got work to do.
“I know so,” he replies, his voice laced with the same depression I’ve felt over these last few days. It’s been hard for me, adjusting to life without him. Now I can tell he’s faced the same struggle. “I had to come back. I had to make things right with you.”
The crowd’s eyes focus back on me, and I feel a nervous sweat breaking out. Jake leans back, lifting up the microphone to address the entire town that’s gathered before him.
“Twin Orchards, I speak to you all now as a collective. As one community. From the bottom of my heart, I’m sorry. For everything. For the lies, for the fights, for all the grief I’d ever put you through. It’s a long road to recovery, and I plan on starting all the way at the bottom. It’s the least I can do.”
Jake pauses, waiting for the crowd to boo him off the stage. But nobody says a word. The carnival music behind us has all but been shut off by now, the entire fairgrounds is now covered in a blanket of silence while Jake addresses the town.
“I was planning on running away for good. I was ready to drive a thousand miles away, start a new life altogether. Until I remembered all the memories I had here growing up. I remembered walking down Main Street with my brothers, I remembered coming to this HalloweenFest every year with my family by my side. I remember the people here, what little friends I’d made along the way. And I’ll admit, I know most of you hate me. And for good reason, too, I definitely can’t blame you for that.”
He clears his throat, and I look around the crowd in awe. All eyes are on Jake, I can see faces with emotions ranging from completely annoyed to stunned with wonder.
“I knew I had to come back to all the anger and terror and hopelessness I’d left behind. Because I knew I had to make things right with each and every single one of you. And because I couldn’t dare to live a life without you, Nancy Callahan.”
Jake turns to face me, picking me out in a crowd of thousands.
I feel the whole world melting away. When I look out at Jake on the stage, I feel like it’s just the two of us.
“I love you, Nancy,” he says again.
I stare into those piercing brown eyes of his.
I take a deep breath, grounding myself as my world spins underneath me.
After everything we’ve been through, after all the ups and downs, I know exactly how I feel. I know deep down I can’t live without Jake, and I know now that he feels exactly the same for me. I’ve never felt less alone with someone, I’ve never felt more whole when I’m with him. I could fill a book with all the things I like about him, and I know I’d read an entire library just about him if I could.
I knew my answer before Jake had to ask the question.
I knew it all along, really.
“I love you too, Jake.”
The whole crowd breaks out into an applause as Jake smiles, grinning as he hops down from the stage. He drops the microphone with a thud, the feedback echoing out over the fairgrounds as he rushes over to me.
I rush to meet him, and th
e now cheering crowd between us disperses as we embrace in the center. I hang on to him tight, and Jake’s strong arms hold me closer than I’d ever felt before. I press my face into Jake’s shoulder, crying with glee as he holds me. I’ve never felt happier, more loved in my entire life.
The crowd, still clapping like it’s opening night, gives us space as Jake leans down and kisses me. It’s everything I wanted and more, the most perfect kiss of all. Our grip around each other tightens, and I never want to let go.
Jake pulls back, grinning. He looks out at the crowd gathered around us, holding a thumbs-up aloft as the whole town goes nuts.
I’m beaming at him like a madman, I can’t help it. My cheeks hurt from smiling so hard, but I know it’s all worth it. He’s worth it.
The lead singer takes the microphone back, grunting at the rest of his band to collect themselves as the crowd around us scatters. The carnival music starts back up around us, the town going back to their lives. The band starts playing again, and life goes back to normal as Jake and I stay huddled in place together.
Jake looks back down at me, and everything feels right in the world. I’ve never felt more alive, more happy to be with someone than I am right now.
He’s all I’ll ever need.
“So,” he says. “I know we used to be engaged, but…”
I giggle. “But what?”
“I wanted to know if you’d like to have dinner with me sometime. Like a date. For real.”
I look around us. “You know there’s this festival going on, right?”
Jake laughs. “Tonight, then.”
I grin, blushing as Jake takes his hand in mind.
“Yeah. I think tonight works just fine for me.”
He leans down, kissing me. When he leans back, I can’t help but grin up at him like I’m the luckiest girl in the world. And I am, really.
We pull apart, our fingers interlocking as Jake and I walk hand-in-hand back toward the fair.
Epilogue
Jake
Three Months Later
As Nancy and I walk down the sidewalk, the gentle snow falling around us, I finally understand the definition of content. After a long day’s worth of honest work at Nora’s Café, I finally understand why Nancy found the job to be so damn exhausting. Training in the kitchen with Don is one thing, watching Nancy and Nora hop around the front of the house tires me out just from watching it through the kitchen window. But it’s still a great time there, and Nora’s even let Nancy hang up some of her paintings in the lobby since we both started working there. A few of her watercolors were sold, I could hardly believe it when Nancy broke the news to me after work one day. Customers paid her money for the artwork she’d done. I’ve never been more proud of her, and I know a career dedicated to her art’s not too far off on the horizon.