Could I be a better husband or father? Could I work harder to grow the business? Could I be fitter? Could I be more productive, meaningful, and impactful? COULD I BE BETTER? There was a time in my life when this question would cripple me; now, it fuels me. My nightly reflection helps me maintain balance and peak performance across all aspects of my life. Jason, how did you do today, and could you do better? Ultimately, the answer is always yes; however, as I’ve matured, I beat myself up less and coach myself more.
Let’s say I neglected workouts due to travel. Jason, your fitness fuels your energy. It’s important you wake up early tomorrow and make time. Or, if I find conversations with my wife are only surface level because I have been busy with work for the week. Jason, Ashley is being supportive but it’s important that you ask her how she’s doing today and plan a date night to reconnect.
I literally talk to myself. I know this sounds a little weird, but I am telling you…it works! Even if it isn’t the self-talk per se that I mentioned earlier in the book, a simple conversation with yourself can help you look at things from a different angle and re-evaluate. I figure that if I evaluate myself daily, I minimize the chance for major regrets later on. Life may throw me a few curveballs, but I have peace of mind in knowing that I did the best I could.
When to Go, and When to Let Go
I would be remiss here if I didn’t take you back to 2014. My experience at the 2014 Reebok CrossFit Games serves as one of my all-time favorite examples of re-evaluation.
By this point in my competitive career, I felt like a well-oiled machine. I had matured in my ability to assess my performance, both in the moment and over the course of a long trajectory. My most valuable asset in competition had always been this primal go switch, the underlying power fueling the Gotta Go Plan.
If you and I had to do some work, and you were lined up against me, I would nearly die trying to beat you. I went all-in, all the time. But in 2014, the tides had begun to change for me. I found my go button still worked, but that I had to press it a few times before it clicked. I re-evaluated my why going into the Games. Leading up to that year’s competition, I had made major life choices that shifted my priorities. I was a family man. I had invested heavily in the growth of my business. But even with all the responsibilities outside of trying to be the fittest person on earth, I tried to give my absolute best in preparing for the Games.
Every time I competed, I tried to leave my heart and soul on the floor. In years past, competing was nearly my entire focus. But in 2014, large shares of my heart and soul were undeniably elsewhere. Ashley and I were blessed with our son Kaden in April of 2014. Now it wasn’t just me and the pinnacle of competitive fitness—there was Ashley, Ava, Kaden, NCFIT.
I still gave everything I could summon to that competition. And as the weekend went on, I experienced some terrific performances. I didn’t end up winning in 2014, but that’s okay. I came in third place and stood very proudly on the podium with both of my children next to me. In 2008, coming in third would have been a failure. In 2014, it was a triumph, because the AMRAP Mentality had enlightened me, and had enabled me to be my best self. I gave my absolute best at every moment of the competition, but more importantly, I owned a clear understanding of my driving force. I had no lingering doubts about my performance or my why. I was truly happy.
As I walked away from the podium at the 2014 CrossFit Games, I felt the fullness of a job well done. I had honored my why through hard work, focus, and more importantly, balance. A major life event had just taken place, and I could feel the world shifting under my feet. I knew I needed to perform a broader evaluation of my competitive career. I also knew this would be a challenging and deeply emotional exercise. It demanded that I ask myself about my passion for the sport and commitment for 2015. Perhaps even scarier…was it time that I hang it up completely?
I know it sounds cliché, but competing in CrossFit was something that I did for the love of the game. I always believed that if it ever became about money or fame that it would be time to move on. I could sense that I no longer had the same passion for competing. I still loved the daily workouts, but my enthusiasm for and commitment to vying for the title of the fittest person on earth weren't what they used to be. It was time to change courses.
Ashley and I talked about the decision to stop competing quite a bit. She would support me no matter the outcome; however, I knew deep down that we both desired to spend more time raising our children, building our family, and strengthening our relationship…together. Not while one of us worked out for multiple hours a day.
The answer became clear. If I wanted to continue to perform to the high standards that I had set for myself in all areas of my life—to succeed as the CEO of NCFIT and be the husband and father I wanted to be—then something had to go. So, after finishing as the third fittest man on the planet…I decided to walk away as an individual competitor. In many ways, this was a very easy decision.
Dealing with Unanticipated Adversity
Although I had stepped down as an individual competitor, I didn’t leave the CrossFit Games entirely, and participated on a team level with the NCFIT crew in 2015. Having the opportunity to compete alongside friends while not enduring the rigors or pressure of individual competition was a wonderful experience, for the most part. I could enjoy training with the team, and also shift more of my energy to my family and business. I learned quite a bit from these 2015 team CrossFit Games, and in many ways, it was a culmination of years working on the AMRAP Mentality.
Our team was in a dominant position, and we had been the favorites going into the competition. Our team was made up of three guys and three girls. Towards the middle of the competition, we were dealt a serious blow when one of our teammates, Miranda, tore her ACL half way through an event. This was of course a very serious injury, and there was no way she could continue. The remaining members had to make a choice: stay in the Games, or drop out.
It actually wasn’t up to us, at first, whether or not we stayed in the Games. We spent a pretty on-edge evening waiting for the judges and administrators of the event to decide whether they were going to give us the option to continue. You know what this means—we had to focus on what we could control in order to stay level-headed and in charge of our abilities. Eventually, the word came down: we could stay and compete with five members, if we wanted to.
Of course, we kept going. We threw every tool we had at the rest of the event, and ended up performing significantly better than anyone would have thought. We even managed to beat some full six-person teams! And Miranda has since recovered and started a very successful fitness business of her own. We had to shift gears, make use of the Gotta Go Plan, and put everything into it to finish.
I learned many things from this experience, and not just about shifting gears and focusing on what I could control and self-talk. I also started to realize that I couldn’t compete like this forever, that the wear and tear on my body was no joke, and that I would have to make some very serious choices about CrossFit and the rest of my life, even beyond retiring as an individual competitor.
Little did I know that in a few short months after these Games, fate would take control and force the greatest re-evaluation of my life. When Ava was diagnosed with leukemia in January 2016, the decisions were simple, yet life altering. Ava’s diagnosis and her battle required my full attention. Undoubtedly, I knew it was time to let go of the CrossFit Games and a few other things. I no longer had the time or energy for pettiness, anger, or jealously. Positivity needed to prevail, and I wouldn’t allow external negativity to cause me or my daughter any additional stress.
Thinking back now, I often wonder—would it have been harder to quit when Ava got sick if we had won those Games? I would have been fired up to keep competing, and it may have been a difficult choice. The way things shook out, though, I ended the 2015 team Games giving serious thought to how my competition affected my family, and at what point I would need to give it up to focus entirely on them and
our future together.
I hope that no one ever experiences a diagnosis like Ava’s. But life is riddled with uncertainty, and many of you will have to deal with similar, or even worse, situations. I only know what positivity did for me through this entire ordeal. If it was not for positive thinking and focusing on what we could control, I am not sure I would have been strong enough to make it through. My daughter’s diagnosis changed our lives on a multitude of levels, and in many ways, it is still impacting life even as I write this book.
Re-Evaluation in Business
Competing on a team at the CrossFit Games offered many lessons that translated well to our business. For years I had focused on being “good” at almost all forms of fitness, but never “great” at any one thing. This is a major component of the CrossFit Games: having a blend of fitness across many areas. For example, if you’re too strong, you probably can’t run as well. If you are too good of a runner, and you may not be able to do gymnastics well.
In the same way, a business owner or employee trying to do everything on their own…can they really get the job done? Perhaps. But focusing on many things allows you to only do everything at a level of effort less than 100%. From my experience, empowering others at work to get the job done allows everyone to be more productive and allows you to focus on what you do best. Team competition allowed me to focus on my strengths more than my weaknesses. This wasn’t only more fun for me, but also offered the largest impact to our team. There is a lot of value in working your weaknesses, but in business and team activities, the goal should be to identify strengths. Enhancing the strengths of each participant offers the most benefit to the overall group.
Maturity, Self-Evaluation,
and Brutal Honesty
Letting go of the desire to claim another title was, in part, about becoming an adult. As you grow older, you must identify what you’re really about. You have to stand for something, and you have to have a personal code. Everyone’s code is different. In my case, I was growing older and had more responsibility, with much higher stakes—a lot higher than when I went on that first road trip to the 2008 CrossFit Games. Ava was very sick, and I needed to devote all of my energy to her immediately. There was no time to train for a fitness competition. Others may find a way to do both, but for me, it was all or nothing. Ava was the priority. Letting go was not only the right thing to do…it was the only thing to do. We were fighting in the biggest competition of our lives against cancer, and we fully intended to win. We will win.
This didn’t mean I would neglect fitness and health during this time period. I’ve already mentioned how fitness keeps me sane and helps me cultivate positivity. Maintaining my fitness was a life-giving force. But from that point on in my life, I ditched the obsession with pushing myself to win the CrossFit Games.
A lot of this comes down to honesty, brutal and unrelenting honesty. No matter if you’re preforming one of the big re-evaluations that only occurs rarely, or you’re taking a daily inventory of your performance, this is a dose of wake the heck up. Who you are, what you’re doing, what are you all about—does that really matter? Where do you want to go, and do you really want to go there? Are you on the right track, and are you doing everything you can? If so, why aren’t you there yet? These questions aren’t meant to beat you up or put you down. Even if you haven’t reached your goals yet. It’s just a pulse check, a splash of cold water to the face, a jolt of energy after a great cup of coffee. You should be fired up about where you’re going, and if you’re not, maybe it’s time to change something.
Reader Exercise
Mindfulness AMRAP – 30 Minutes:
Set a clock for thirty minutes and perform an honest evaluation (or re-evaluation) of yourself. Take notes. Start by reviewing your why, and then ask yourself the following series of questions and answer with brutal honesty.
Who are you?
What are you doing?
What are you all about?
Does that really matter?
Where you do you want to go?
Do you really want to go there?
Are you on the right track?
Are you doing everything you can?
If so, why aren’t you there yet?
Examine your situation and look for opportunities to approve your approach. If necessary, return to your why and re-evaluate your core motivations and desires. Before the thirty minutes expire, set at least two firm dates in the next twelve months for another re-evaluation.
Physical AMRAP – 6 Minutes:
Set a clock for six minutes and do as many burpees as possible in the allotted time.
To perform a burpee, start by standing straight up. Drop to the ground so that your knees and chest touch the ground. Once you have touched the ground, stand (or jump) back up. To complete the rep, jump and clap your hands above your head. Every time you clap, count one rep. Ready? Go!
Jason’s Pro-Tip: Sounds awfully familiar doesn’t it? This was your first workout in your journey through the AMRAP Mentality. This is the perfect time for a re-evaluation. Remember your score from way back in Chapter One…now go beat it!
CHAPTER 7
LIVING THE AMRAP MENTALITY
I first started working on this book in the final months of 2015. Only a little while later, in January of 2016, Ava was diagnosed with childhood leukemia. Everything changed from that moment, and the book you have just read was not the one I set out to write. What started off as a book about entrepreneurship and fitness became the story of my family, and how the lessons I learned earlier in life helped see us through a tumultuous time.
After two and a half incredibly difficult years, Ava has completed her chemotherapy treatment. That’s two-and-a-half years of nerve-wracking hospital visits, of painful lumbar punctures, of pills and masks and countless sleepless nights. As I close this book in the spring of 2018, her first post-treatment blood test has come back—cancer-free.
Today, Ava is a normal kid. She plays with her brother Kaden and can travel with us around the world. For her, the future looks bright and new.
For Ashley and me, the battle is far from over—both when it comes to Ava, and with pediatric cancer in general. The side effects of our daughter’s treatment are largely unknown, and we need to remain strong and vigilant. And now that Ava has turned the corner, we can focus on raising money for research, and getting help to other families fighting their own battles.
Along with fighting pediatric cancer, I have been working to set new goals for myself and our company. I have stayed out of the competitive CrossFit scene, but fitness remains a major part of my life. I plan on running a marathon, experiencing new sports, and continuing my journey in jiu jitsu.
NCFIT is growing rapidly, and we have been blessed with an amazing team consisting of world class coaches, friendly and diligent front desk staff, and unbelievably talented ladies and gentlemen behind the scenes who make some real magic happen. Together, we have opened over twenty gyms around the world, from California to Malaysia, and we don’t plan on slowing down any time soon! My incredible family, my amazing teammates, and the AMRAP Mentality have helped me succeed beyond my expectations.
The AMRAP Mentality
and Your Future
For many people, a solid first exposure to the AMRAP Mentality is going to happen at the gym. Practicing the mentality during a workout is a great way to understand how well it works and, quite honestly, how uncomfortable it can make you. The discomfort is the price you pay for accomplishing more in nine minutes than others might in ninety. But when you get a taste for this and feel the satisfaction, you want to do more of it.
This is not only a tool that will help you live your best life now, it is a powerful way to inoculate your life for the twists and turns of the future. I like to think of it as a hedge against the unforeseen. Remember a few chapters back when we talked about stress-testing your life? The AMRAP Mentality helps you, even if you don’t know it at the time, achieve results now and protect them down the road.
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Perspective in All Things, Good and Bad
Incorporating the AMRAP Mentality isn’t just about working hard to make money; it’s also about working hard to maintain sustainable relationships. My wife and I have worked hard over the years to keep our relationship as tight as possible. I met Ashley when I was only fourteen; I didn’t know who she would be when she was thirty. I’m fortunate to have found the right one, but it hasn’t come without hard work and focus. Embracing the AMRAP Mentality while I am with Ashley and the kids has really helped to keep our relationship strong.
Here’s one last note on perspective. Each day, I remind myself to be grateful for what we have and the blessings that are right in front of us. For years, and still sometimes today, I’d gotten wrapped up in always wanting more and not appreciating what I already had. Having a drive to work hard and create your own version of success is critical—but your goals and drive shouldn’t overshadow your appreciation for the good things right in front of you. It wasn’t until Ava’s diagnosis and spending so much time in the hospital that I realized just how good we have it. I would never wish the experience we have had on anyone, yet I know our experience hasn’t been half as bad as other families’.
Regardless of what you are going through, your current challenge will often feel like the worst thing you’ve ever faced. Whatever is most immediate often feels the most difficult. Who’s to say that having a child with cancer is worse than losing your job? For the person who just lost their job, it might be the worst thing that has happened to them, just like Ava’s cancer is the worst thing to happen to Ashley and me. These experiences might be very different, but the AMRAP Mentality can scale to any situation.
It is our duty to support and be there for those who need it, when they need it. Looking at the day with a different perspective changes the entire landscape; it’s like looking at the world through a pair of dark sunglasses and then switching to a pair of clear glasses. As we get older, our perspective changes; so much of what we thought was important really isn’t. You have a choice each day to look at the world in a positive light or a negative one. I don’t know about you, but I choose optimism.
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