by D. Brumbley
Candra closed her eyes too, but her mind never stopped moving and reeling. Not even for a moment. She liked feeling close to him, though, since she was never able to be close to anyone. I’m sorry for making it complicated. I don’t have to stay. I can run away and find a new place to live.
You wouldn’t be able to run, Orland said, not quite sadly, but just as a statement of fact. Any more than I’d be able to keep from chasing you.
But if you don’t love me, then…
I don’t know, Candra. I don’t have any answers. He might want her, and desperately want to be with her, but that didn’t keep him from being angry at the situation. He was trying hard not to be, but it was the first time in a long time that he hadn’t had at least some measure of control over his own life, his own feelings.
I’m sorry. Candra repeated and moved away from him again so that she was on the opposite end of the bench. Candra curled up as she was used to doing and tucked her head into her own fur. The last thing she wanted was for him to be angry with her, she wanted to be friends in the very least, but maybe that wasn’t possible. Maybe it’s best if we just stay away. That’s what all the books say anyway.
Life isn’t a book. He sighed, but didn’t follow her, though he was still close by, and between her and the door anyway. I wish it was. It would be simpler.
Candra eventually fell asleep and slept that way until the van came to a stop. They needed gas, and so everyone got out to stretch. When it was just the two of them in the van, he nudged her so that she would wake up, and when she did it was frantically. Why did we stop?
Just to get gas. Come on, let’s hit the bathrooms and get something to eat. He stayed next to her longer than he really needed to, but then jumped over the seat in front of them to get to his clothes, and shifted in mid-jump, landing on the cushion and righting himself before getting her clothes and handing them back to her.
She didn’t shift, but shook her head in fear. There was no way that she was going to shift while the sun was out. She couldn’t handle that.
He was confused for a moment, but then he realized what she was so scared of, and turned to face her, still naked, but at least mostly hidden by the seat between them. “It’s alright. You managed to be out in it for a while this morning while you were getting undressed to shift. And I’ll be right next to you the whole time. Or almost the whole time, anyway. It’ll be fine.”
Candra whimpered and had an internal war about shifting for a moment but eventually she went through with it. Instead of grabbing for her clothes, though, she grabbed for him instantly since she was so terrified of getting out of control and he was the only one who could handle the energy that was bound to overwhelm her.
He held onto her tightly as she latched onto him, though he gave the back seat a rather surprised look at the sudden lack of modesty. He didn’t mind, though, and it felt amazing to have her there so close to him. He actually growled once, so low she could feel it all the way through her body, and the hunger of his nature pulled as much of her power from her as she had to give. So much that he actually felt her starting, very slightly, to get weaker, for the first time in the brief time he’d known her.
She relaxed a little at the feeling of weakness, since she almost never felt anything but the exhausting enormity of her own power. Her eyes were still screwed shut, but she continued to hold tightly to him as his body kept drinking it in. The growl was a sensation she’d never experienced, but she certainly couldn’t complain. It felt wonderful. Holding hands and holding on to each other was incredible from the very beginning, but what she couldn’t believe was that with more exposed skin touching, it felt even better. The give and take was even more powerful, and it made her more relaxed with every passing moment. “This feels wonderful.” Candra replied with another sigh of pleasurable relief.
Orlando felt as though he could power Europe for a year. “You’re…not kidding.”
Candra ran her fingers over his side and his chest tentatively. Was it okay? Was it wrong? “I’ve never been this close to anyone before.”
He ran his hands up and down her spine lightly, electricity jumping between his fingertips and her skin the entire way. The sensation made every nerve fire at once as it passed over her, but it caused her muscles to relax the moment after.
She moaned loudly at that, unable to control the sound from escaping from her lips. The forced muscle relaxation was intoxicating. Her fingers dug into his skin a little as she clutched to him. “That’s…incredible…”
He knew he should feel guilty for making her feel that way, but he couldn’t bring himself to do so. They barely knew each other, but they understood each other better than anyone else ever could. Or would. “That’s kind of what I do. Part of it, anyway.”
Candra couldn’t even convince herself to move, even though she didn’t have any clothes on. In fact, she wanted to get closer to him. “Don’t let go.” She pressed her lips to his bare shoulder. “I can’t stand the sunlight without you.” It wasn’t even sexual, it was just a need. A need for his help, a need for his nature to help hers.
“I’m right here. I’ll be with you the whole time.”
She slowly put her clothes on, somehow never fully letting go of him, but eventually she was fully dressed and clutching to his hand. Candra walked out of the van with him when he was dressed as well, but then she blushed as she looked away, since she almost preferred to look at him without his clothes on. But she knew she wasn’t supposed to.
He was thinking much the same about her as they walked, but he tried to cover it up by not looking at her any more than he had to. It was the kind of gas station that had its bathrooms along the outside of the building, and so he walked with her to hers and opened the door for her. It was dark inside, which he knew she wouldn’t mind, but he was glad to see that it was more or less clean. “I’ll be here when you get out.”
Candra held onto his hand tighter for a moment and then she turned back toward him and kissed his cheek. She rushed inside quickly, but the darkness felt good enough to linger when she was washing her hands. When she had to go back out, she hurried back toward him and then grabbed for his hand. Only when they were touching again did she look the slightest bit relieved.
“You alright?” He pulled her into a hug without any apparent reason, feeling like the world was the place it should be again when she returned.
“I am now.” Candra said as she sighed against his neck in the hug. “Though being naked with you made it a lot easier to be in the sun.”
The two Guardsmen that they were traveling with were getting gas and grabbing snacks from the shop, so Orlando just stood there along the wall of the gas station with her, looking up at the sky. He could feel the rush of power running through her, but he was taking all of it as she took it in, so for the moment, at least, she was balanced between the unrelenting sunlight overhead and the unquenchable emptiness within him. “How does it feel?”
Candra buried her face into the side of his neck and held even tighter to him. She didn’t dare stare directly into it, she was too wary of being out in the light. It was strange to be in the sunlight. Most of her life had been in darkness. “It feels okay as long as you are here. It feels like it just goes through me straight into you.” She lifted her face to look at his skin, but then she just kissed it gently. “And I can feel that you’re not burnt.”
“I don’t think you can burn me.” He reassured with a quiet smile. He still felt the waves of guilt trying to tear at him, telling him he shouldn’t be there, shouldn’t be holding her, consoling her like this, but he couldn’t let her go either. “I may not be a Fireborn, but you can’t burn me with your kind of power. With any kind of power, actually. I’ll take everything you have and still ask for seconds.”
She smiled gently and lifted her head to meet his dark eyes. They were perfect. Everything about them drew her in, and she enjoyed the feeling of getting lost in the endless darkness. They were every bit the match to hers, darkness where she was light. “I l
ove your eyes.”
He smiled but it did make him feel slightly self-conscious. “I usually wear contacts in public. They tend to attract attention.” He kissed her on the cheek, a gesture almost exactly like the wolf-kisses they’d shared that morning so far, and nodded back to the van. “You good to go?”
Candra nodded and started to go back toward the van still clinging to his hand. “Don’t wear contacts.” She said softly, in a way that was definitely a request more than anything else. “Your eyes are perfect.”
“You two done?” One of the Ironborn in the front seat said with a glare as he opened the door for them, it was no time for two lovers to linger and stare into each other’s eyes.
“For the moment.” Orlando answered with a violent look in his eyes, squeezing Candra’s hand tighter as they got there, though at the same time, he was chastising himself for feeling so defensive so quickly. What was wrong with him? He was too old to be acting like some kind of infatuated child.
Candra didn’t know what to do about her growing feelings for Orlando, but she knew that she didn’t want it to stop. Ever. His protection of her was a welcome reminder that someone cared about her, and it made her want to be near him even more. They went back into the van and stayed close, since she needed him there to even remain in her human form. They didn’t speak much for the rest of the ride, though neither of them seemed to feel they needed to.
* * * * *
Aura was in the same van with Nick, but she was near the back doors and he was a few rows ahead of her with the Heartborn’s still-unconscious body. Nick spent most of the van ride on a cell phone getting reports from the various units that had gone with them for the attack. He made notes on a pad of paper on his lap and got more and more depressed as the ride went on. He ignored Aura almost the entire way besides a single look to acknowledge that he knew she was there when he got in, but his time had been taken up by the constant conversations with his captains about the state of their escape from Geneva.
She wished that she could talk to him, but just when she gained the confidence to speak up despite his obvious cold-shoulder, the Heartborn started to make noise and wake up.
A few of the guards around Nick moved to take hold of the chains that Heartborn was bound in just out of precaution, but Nick waved them off. He disconnected the call he was on and tossed the phone to the wolf in the front passenger seat as he turned to Zara. “Don’t try to move. You’re not in the Council chambers anymore.”
Zara looked around, but her vision was still fuzzy. She didn’t try to struggle against the chains, but she took a moment to assess what happened. The Ironborn had taken her with them when they fled, and she didn’t know what to think about it. Would they see her as a friend because of her eyes, or an enemy because of her association with the Council? She had been honest with Nick, but she still didn’t know if he could ever trust her. “You saved me.”
“They were going to bring down the Council building with us inside. We weren’t going to just leave you there to die. You weren’t one of the ones fighting against us.” Nick assured her, but his tone was still cold and calculating. He was a wolf with a heart, but it was still surrounded by barbed wire.
“But I was their servant and you still saved me.” She looked up at him upside down with her violet eyes. “Thank you.”
“We’re going back to Spain.” He said without acknowledging her gratitude. “Then we’ll decide what happens from there.”
She met Nick’s eyes and nodded, her fingers wrapping around the chains that held her, but she stretched to make sure her limbs still worked. “I understand. I hope that you will let me help you, if I can.”
“Help?” He said as he finally looked down at her, though he was still trying to keep his tone guarded.
“Help. Aren’t you going to need help with the families that lost their loved ones?” Zara’s element was the mind and emotions, and she was glad to assist wherever they could find a need for her.
“You are their servant. Why would you do anything to help us?” He was curious enough to give the idea a moment’s consideration, but he was still confused and suspicious.
“I am a Heartborn. I live off of what I can do for people. Just because they were bad people doesn’t mean I didn’t need them to survive.” Zara served the Council and in turn, their purposes served her. It kept her alive.
“You could have survived off anyone. Why them?” Nick questioned further.
Zara shifted a little in the seat, not to try and struggle against the chains, but to get more comfortable. As she moved, she could feel the pendant she wore at her neck slide across her skin, and a small wave of relief washed over her. The pendant was all she had ever really been able to call her own. “Because they owned me. I became their property when I was very young. They needed me as much as I needed them, except they could have killed me in an instant for working against them. And I enjoy being alive too much.”
He looked down at her for a long moment, then looked away again, hiding the pad of paper on his lap so that she wouldn’t see the numbers of dead and survivors that he’d discovered through communication with his own. Why did you tell me? I could’ve been riding in peace right now, even with everything that’s happened. His thoughts were loud to someone like Zara, but he didn’t realize how loud as he mused.
Her expression softened and she watched his face for a little longer before she responded to what she shouldn’t have heard. “You deserved to know.” She said in a whisper. “Every ruler should have someone by their side who would die for them, who would give up everything for them.”
He turned back to look at her with a glare that spoke multitudes about his deadly capacity. The growl that rumbled out between his clenched teeth actually made the Guardsmen around him flinch back a few inches. Stay out of my thoughts, Heartborn. Live on others as you want, but not on me.
I just want to help.
One of the chains that was wrapped around her waist that also bound her hands peeled away to flow around her head, blindfolding her with iron that contoured to her face. Nick turned away from her as he looked out the window as he thought about what she’d said, whether he wanted to or not.
Zara didn’t fight against it or even mutter the tiniest complaint. She had no reason to. They had taken her, and honestly, it was up to them what they would do with her.
Once they had finally arrived, everyone emptied out of the vans. The gates opened for their Alpha and the fighters, and the people who had been left behind at the compound came out to bring in the injured and the dead. Aura didn’t do much other than stand outside of the van and lean against it, since no one wanted her to help. Since she was kept out of the way, it was only natural that she would notice the only two others that had been kept out as well. Orlando and Candra.
Orlando helped Candra out of the van and into the shadow of the trees outside the gate before the van continued on into the compound. He explained what was going on without being asked. “We’ll stay out here until Nick decides what to do with us, but we’re not Ironborn, and this is their home.”
Candra noticed Aura as well, and so she held tighter to Orlando’s hand as Aura approached. “I think someone wants to talk to you.”
He looked over at Aura in the direction she was pointed, and sighed, then looked around one more time at the filtered sunlight around them. “Will you be alright?”
“I’ll shift and wait out here.” She whispered, even though she hadn’t let go of his hand yet.
“Alright. Don’t go too far. They know what you look like, but they won’t all know what you look like as a wolf. They’ll be edgy after the fight they’ve just had.”
Reluctantly Candra let go of his hand and walked far enough away to undress in private and then shift. She just laid down in the brush, far enough away that she was out of earshot and Orlando could have his privacy.
Aura stopped far enough away from Orlando that she was out of reach, then crossed her arms and looked at him. “I haven
’t seen you since we got out.”
“There wasn’t any time.” He got closer to her, close enough to touch, though he didn’t touch her. “Are you alright?”
“Not really.”
“I didn’t know, Aura.” He said as he got a little closer to her, but he still didn’t touch her. “I didn’t…believe in them. Even after you told me. Or tried to tell me.”
She couldn’t help the tears that built up in her eyes no matter how much she fought them, though she wiped quickly at them as they started to fall. “So I just don’t matter anymore. My feelings for you are irrelevant.”
“That’s not what I meant at all.” He almost reached out to touch her, but pulled his hand back at the last moment. “This doesn’t change how I feel about you. Nothing can. I just…”
“I love you and it doesn’t matter.” She started to sob and then she turned away from him sharply. They’d never said the words, and now it was pointless but she said them anyway. “I’m so stupid.”
“Aura…” He reached out and touched her arm, and the moment he did, she could feel the power in him, the world-shattering, life-altering power that he was carrying inside him just in the simple touch.
The power jumped into her and gave her chills, but she didn’t stop crying. “What? What could you possibly say to me? It feels like everything we shared was a lie. Did you even think of me once? Do you want me at all?”
“You think I wanted this?” He said a little more loudly than he had meant to. “You think I wanted to just be thrown into this?”
“You don’t think I can see the way you look at her? The way you hold her? Yes. You want it. You know you do.”
“I don’t have a choice! Don’t you get that? You told me that yourself!”
“You know, I used to think that about my own life. And then I chose you.”
“This is nothing like that and you know it.” He sighed, and there was a growl in the midst of it. “I don’t even know her. I know nothing about her except what she is. That doesn’t compare with this. With us.”