Algernon first appeared in Harbinger, book two of The Greatest Sin series Get a free story and find out more about this bingeable epic fantasy series at www.thegreatestsinseries.com.
About the Authors
Lee French is a prolific USA Today bestselling author living in Olympia, WA with two kids, two bicycles, and too much stuff. She’s a frequent visitor to Myth-Weavers, an online RPG site, and also trains in taekwondo. Best known for her young adult urban fantasy series Spirit Knights, she is an active member of the Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers of America and a NaNoWriMo Municipal Liaison.
Erik Kort abides in the glorious Pacific Northwest, otherwise known as Mirkwood-Without-The-Giant-Spiders, though the normal spiders often grow too numerous for his comfort. He is defended from all eight-legged threats by his brave and overly tolerant wife, and is mocked by his obligatory writer's cat. When not writing, Erik comforts the elderly, guides youths through vast wildernesses, and smuggles more books into his library of increasingly alarming size.
The Mail-Order Witch
Episode Three
Joynell Schultz
Someone is still sabotaging Ettie’s magic shop and she can’t quite put her finger on the culprit. Who wants her to fail? If casting a spell that caused the children to grow fox tails and a hamster infestation wasn’t enough, now, her shop is having an inventory problem. You can’t make money if you don’t have product. With rent is due and no merchandise on the shelves, she faces eviction. Can Ettie and Roman dig up some “forgotten magic” to save the day? Read “The Mail-Order Witch, Episode 3” to find out.
Joynell Schultz
Children turning into foxes.
A magic shop infested with hamsters.
That’s just a normal day at Ettie’s Enchanted Effects.
When Ettie agreed to be a mail-order witch and move to Watersedge, she had dreams of a loving husband and a family in a nice supportive town. Instead, she got a secretive father-in-law and a few citizens in the community who clearly didn’t want witches in their community.
Luckily, she did get that loving husband, and with Roman’s support, they overcame the children’s curse and the rampant rodents. Now, the shop is having difficulty obtaining inventory…and without inventory to sell, how will they pay the rent?
Even with everything Ettie and Roman overcame, they might not be able to keep Ettie’s Enchanted Effects much longer.
As Roman and Ettie investigate why she’s having a backlog of merchandise, the signs point to another episode of sabotage.
They’ve had enough.
It’s time to find out whodunit.
Chapter One
One good thing about being a witch was I could snap my fingers and…presto!
Lunch was served.
Unfortunately, that only worked when I actually had time to eat.
After a steady stream of customers in my enchanted object shop all morning, I was ready for a break. Usually there was a lull at about noon when I could perform a little act of magic and make a sandwich. Today though, the customers kept on coming. It was after one already, and my stomach was seriously moaning before the customers began dying down.
“Thank you for your support.” I flashed Irene Ruiz, a friend of Officer Gates, a sincere smile and wrapped up the obedience totem she had just purchased.
“I sure hope this does the trick.” She ran her fingers down her chewed-up purse strap. “Droolius is so naughty.”
“It’ll help, but it won’t do all the work. Make sure you check out those puppy classes that Alma teaches in the basement of the Church of the Saved next door…but whatever you do, make sure you don’t mention my name…or that you were here, if you run into Brittany.”
“Oh, Brittany can shove it.” Irene chuckled and took the bag with her new totem from me. “She has to get over her whole ‘prejudice against witches’ at some point.” She headed towards the door. “Ta-ta! See you later tonight for trivia.”
As soon as my chimes sounded above the entrance door, Ettie’s Enchanted Effects was finally empty.
What was I hungry for?
I wiggled my fingers, ready to conjure up my lunch, when the bell over the front entrance chimed again.
Another customer.
If things kept up like this, I’d have to hire some help if I didn’t want to actually starve, but Ettie’s wasn’t quite over the financial threshold to be able to afford that quite yet.
When I spun around to greet my new customer, my heart skipped a beat at the man I had come to love and cherish over our seven months of marriage. We had been through a lot together already. First, I was a mail-order witch, ordered online off a dating profile. We were joined via a witches’ union before we’d even met, but everything wasn’t automatically magical. I had thought he wasn’t a true warlock—the whole reason I had married him—and I had struggled to find a job.
Then Roman set me up with this beautiful store, only Watersedge was against me from the start. Well, probably not all of Watersedge, but at least a few key players. My neighbor, Brittany Fleming, owned the major church in town and took the church’s stance that magic was the work of the devil. Natalia York, the town’s reporter, hated magic, probably for the same reason Brittany did, but she took her hatred to an extreme. She was kicked out of her hometown of Crystal Caverns for slightly unpeaceful protests. Then, there was the mayor, of all people, but her prejudice towards witches was understandable. Mayor Raab had lost her son because he was addicted to magic and had purchased a half-done spell online that brought him bad luck instead of good. So bad, that an air conditioner fell out of a window and bonked him on the head, leaving him to meet his demise.
Despite these three that seemed to keep causing trouble, I at least, had many loyal customers, and my business was growing. I think my little magic shop was pretty resilient to town gossip at this point.
Thank goodness.
“Hey, Roman! This is a nice surprise. What’s going on?”
Roman ran his hand through his dark hair. “Why does something have to be going on? Can’t I just stop in to see my wife from time to time?” He teased me with a huge smile, showing off the double dimples on his left cheek.
“Oh, please come see me anytime you like.” I smiled back, surely not as cute as he was, but I tried. “I was just about to have some lunch. Want a sandwich with me?”
“I’m starved! Make mine corned beef and cheddar.” Roman met me in the side storage room where I had a small table with a few chairs.
“Two sandwiches, coming up!” I snapped my fingers, changing the plain black table to something a bit more elegant, with a white tablecloth and even a candle. Two sandwiches sat on plain white ceramic plates.
Roman laughed. “You didn’t have to go through all that hassle. A sandwich on a paper plate would have been enough for me.”
“I’ll remember that for the next time,” I teased with a soft laugh, taking a seat where I could still have my eyes on the front door.
The sandwich was delicious. I couldn’t have made one the non-magical way taste much better. Usually, magical meals were a bit flat, but the sharp cheddar, horseradish, and corned beef had enough flavor that it even came through when created by magic.
“Seriously, Roman. What brought you here? You never stop in at lunch.”
He shrugged. “Do I need a reason? I just missed my wife.”
My heart fluttered a little. “I missed you, too.” I smiled, taking a shy bite of my sandwich, wondering when these newlywed butterflies in my chest would go away. I was such a lucky witch to have met my soulmate like I did. I’m sure Roman felt the same way, as I could clearly see it in the way he looked at me with adoring eyes.
“You seem like you were busy today,” Roman said.
“Because it’s nearly one-thirty and I’m just now eating lunch?”
“Yes…and because your shelves look empty.” Roman nodded towards the main part of my shop.
“I’ve been so tired that I haven’t had time t
o enchant many items lately, but I have a few orders placed.” I took another bite of my sandwich. “It’s odd that the merchandise hasn’t arrived yet.” I hadn’t really noticed before Roman mentioned it, but the shelves of enchanted merchandise were starting to look pathetic. No, that’s wrong. If I examined my store with a critical eye, the shelves had already gotten pathetic.
Looking around with fresh eyes, the wall of totems had a few lower shelves that were completely empty and the upper ones I had rearranged and rearranged, spacing out what was left. The earth charms used to be piled high, but now I had empty boxes wrapped with plain brown paper strategically placed to add three-dimensional appeal to the display. My charm necklaces were sold out, and I had the empty racks kept in the storeroom where Roman and I ate.
“If I get time to catch my breath this afternoon, I need to check on my inventory. I placed those orders weeks ago already, but I might not have time today. Right after work I have to go to Gabby’s house.”
“Gabby?” Roman raised an eyebrow.
“Yeah, Gabby Gates.” When Roman still looked confused, I elaborated. “Officer Gates? You know it’s trivia night on Wednesdays.” Three weeks ago, Gabby began inviting me to trivia night where I made friends with her friends—Irene, the new puppy-owning, recently divorced, chocolate lover; and Alma, the dog-training, kindergarten teaching, new mom. Penelope Prusa, the principle of Watersmeet elementary and middle schools, and my father-in-law’s girlfriend, was already my friend and Gabby began inviting her, too. The five of us made an unstoppable trivia team.
Understanding finally filled his expression. “Of course. I just didn’t know her name was Gabby…and didn’t realize it was Wednesday already.” Roman took another bite of his sandwich, and when he swallowed, he looked up. His dark eyes sparkled. “Do any men attend these trivia nights?”
My front door chimed, and I shoved one last bite into my mouth, quickly chewing and swallowing. “Not really, but Gabby’s husband’s there. He doesn’t participate during the trivia, though. Sorry Roman, but I have to get that customer.” I leaned forward and gave him a quick peck on the lips.
“No problem. Business is calling. I’ll see you tonight.”
“I should be home around nine or ten.”
“Or I could come along to Trivia night?”
The customer, a young lady cradling an infant in her arm, wasn’t someone familiar. Her wide eyes and the way she slowly spun in a circle, trying to figure out what corner of my shop to disappear into, told me she needed my help. Stepping into the shop behind her came Natalia, the town reporter, turned gossiper, who had a vendetta against witches. I moaned out loud, but luckily, only Roman heard. What did she want? “Yeah, that’s fine. You can come to trivia night. Meet me here at five-thirty and we can go together. I’ll let Gabby know you’re coming.”
With a nod, I left Roman in the back room, knowing with a snap of his fingers, he’d be on his way as soon as his sandwich was done. I’d see him tonight.
It was time to focus on my customers.
As I crossed the shop, my eyes noticed the imperfections in my inventory supply more than they had before. This place was really bare. I wondered if that was why sales were down over the past two weeks, despite the number of customers growing.
“Welcome to Ettie’s,” I said with a big smile, hoping the woman with the baby wanted something I had left on my shelves.
Natalia had to wait. She hadn’t purchased anything from me yet, and every time she visited, bad things happened. Since I opened the shop three months ago, someone was sabotaging Ettie’s success. First, it was an out-of-control magic spell that caused the entire town’s second graders to turn into foxes. Then, my shop got infested with hamsters.
And Natalia had pet hamsters.
Officer Gates had investigated and said that Natalia’s hamsters were of a different gene pool, but what were the chances that that was a coincidence?
Right now, my customer was the priority.
I’d deal with Natalia later.
But I didn’t have to. The young woman took more time than most. Natalia had walked around the shop and left without saying a word.
If she was a regular customer, it would have bothered me.
But for her? I was happy that she left without digging for dirt.
Maybe that was an omen of good things to come.
Chapter Two
“Oh, Ettie, we love Esmerelda!” Alma Tate squealed with excitement, greeting Roman and me at the door, holding a glass of red wine in one hand and a chocolate-dipped pretzel rod in the other.
“Esmerelda?” I frantically searched my mind to match a name to a face.
“The hamster my class adopted! Let me show you.” Alma led us to the kitchen where she set her wineglass down on the table and held the pretzel between her teeth. She pulled out her phone from her back pocket and brought up her photos, showing image after image of a light tan hamster sitting on her desk at school with half-a-dozen little smiling faces surrounding the critter.
“I’m glad.” I smiled. “We really like ours, too.” All three of them. I looked at Roman for approval, and he gave a nod. Phew. I knew he tolerated my hamster addiction but didn’t know if he’d agree to liking them.
Roman squeezed my shoulder. “Anything that makes Ettie happy, makes me happy.”
Alma looked up like something just dawned on her. “I don’t think we’ve actually been introduced, but I’m assuming you’re Ettie’s other half.” She held out her hand and Roman shook it. “She described you perfectly. Tall, dark, and handsome! I’m a teacher down at Watersedge Elementary. I work with Penelope.” She nodded towards the living room where Penelope and Irene sat, each with a glass of wine. Nothing like being fashionably late.
“You also teach the puppy classes at the church, right?” Roman asked.
Alma dismissed the hidden meaning in his question. “Oh, Brittany isn’t that bad. She stays away and collects her rental fee…um…donation from me. When she has trouble, she sends her husband to deal with it.”
“Her husband?” I couldn’t help myself. “He does exist?”
Alma laughed. “Yeah, but he’s away during the week. He teaches religion classes at a private school over in Crystal Caverns Monday through Friday. I don’t know why you haven’t run into him on the weekends.”
Probably because I was so busy working that I didn’t get outside much.
Gabby pulled the last tray out of her refrigerator and set it down on the kitchen island with the other hors d’oeuvres. “Make yourself at home. I’m happy to have you Roman. I didn’t know you were a trivia lover.”
When he glanced my way, I snickered. “Yeah, Roman. I didn’t know that either, but even after seven months, I’m still learning new things about you every day.”
Roman loosened his tie. “I thought I’d try something new. I bet I’ll be good at it.”
Five minutes into trivia, we proved Roman’s statement false. He wasn’t good at trivia.
Not at all.
“What events constitute a triathlon?” Irene read the trivia card. “And for bonus points, what order are they performed in?”
I wanted to shout out the answer, but I was giving Roman the opportunity to show off his knowledge.
“Skiing and shooting,” Roman said.
“No, honey, that’s a biathlon. We’re looking for a triathlon.” I patted his arm.
“Skiing, shooting, and ice skating?” Roman raised an eyebrow, seeming to wait for me to save him. “In that order? First you ski, then you shoot, then get on those ice skates for a race around a frozen pond?” The entire group burst out laughing, but Roman just looked at me. “I’m not right, am I?”
I ran my fingers across the stubble along his jaw. “Not quite, but you’re cute. I think they’re looking for the other triathlon. You know, the one done outside while it’s warm. Swimming, biking, and then running.”
“Ding, ding, ding!” Alma shoved some M&M’s from the table into her mouth. “M
mmm. I just love chocolate.”
“We know.” Penelope pushed the M&M dish closer. “Just thinking of what’s inside your cupboards gives me a toothache.”
“I’ll tell you what, it’s not chocolate. I need to load up on my fill here every week because I can’t keep the stuff in my house. I have no willpower around that stuff!”
“Next question, and I’ll let Roman try again,” Irene said. “Double or nothing.”
“You’re on.” Roman pulled the black tie off his neck, folding it, and shoving it into the breast pocket of his silver dress-shirt.
“Okay, hmmm.” Irene’s eyes scanned down the card. “This one might be a bit too easy, but since it’s your first day, we’ll go with it. What name are young frogs and toads given?”
A big smile on Roman’s face. “Baby frogs. No. Baby Toads. No. How about…baby amphibians?”
I shook my head, sharing unsaid words with my trivia group. I patted his arm again. “Tadpoles, honey.”
“Oh, that’s right. I forgot frogs and toads start out with a tail. It’s all the pressure here. It makes my brain twist.”
“Not everyone’s great at trivia.” Alma pushed her brown bangs off her forehead. “I know my hubby absolutely hates this stuff.”
“I’d like to meet him one day,” I said. “You met Roman and now it’s my turn.”
She waved her hand dismissively. “Oh, Fergus isn’t that exciting. He fixes cars down at the dealership. His fingernails are perpetually black, and he’s thrilled to have Wednesday nights without me. He puts Juniper to sleep then heads out to the garage with the baby monitor to tinker with his other ‘baby.’”
“His other ‘baby’?” Roman asked.
“Yeah, a 1967 candy-apple red Corvette convertible,” Alma said with a slight eye roll. “I don’t think he’s ever going to get that thing to run. Even if he does, there’s so much rust on it, it’ll fall apart as soon as he drives it out of the garage, but it keeps him out of trouble.” She looked at Roman. “What do you do in your spare time?”
Magic Underground: The Complete Collection (Magic Underground Anthologies Book 4) Page 221