by Day Leclaire
Best of all was the interaction between Jamie and Lucas. Tension had radiated between them earlier. That, too, had changed. Now they were joking together and acting as though there’d never been a disagreeable word between them.
“I was a little worried,” Darrell admitted, watching the byplay between the two.
“Me, too,” Kellie confessed.
“I wasn’t sure how those two would shake down. I have to admit, I’m relieved to see them getting on so well.” He leaned his forearm against the glass as he watched his grandson. “When are you going to tell them?”
“Tell them…what?” she asked warily.
“Tell them that they’re father and son.”
Kellie’s breath caught in an audible gasp. “What are you talking about? He’s Jinx’s son, not—”
“Don’t.” Just that one word. So soft. So gentle. So implacable. “Don’t lie to your father. It isn’t right. It wasn’t right eighteen years ago and it isn’t now.”
She closed her eyes and gave in to the inevitable. “When did you find out? Did Jinx tell you?”
“We never spoke of it.” A hint of regret rippled through her father’s comment. “Alluded to it, the way men do. Wish things could have been different. Proud to have Jamie for a son. That sort of thing.”
“If Jinx didn’t tell you, then how did you know?”
He turned his head and stared at her with such a wealth of pain that she flinched. “Little girl, do you really think I wouldn’t have known if you’d been sneaking out with my driver? Do you think I wouldn’t have been the first to knock a few teeth down Jinx’s throat if I’d ever suspected he’d messed with my baby?”
“I was afraid to tell you,” she whispered.
“And that hurts most of all.” He pulled her into his arms, resting his chin on the top of her head. “I wanted to think that you could have come to me for anything. That you knew I would stand by you and take care of you.”
She shook her head. “I knew you’d have stood by me.
But you’d have been so disappointed in me.”
“Maybe a bit. But I’d have gotten over it soon enough.” She could hear his smile reflected in his voice.
“Especially the minute I set eyes on my grandbaby.
’Course then I’d have taken my shotgun and turned the hurting end on young Boyce. And that, I suspect, is the real reason you didn’t tell me.”
She couldn’t deny it. “Sounds about right.”
“You were so young.”
She pulled back, offering him a watery smile. “And so foolish.”
“Did you love him?”
“I thought I did.”
A hint of anger drifted through Darrell’s blue eyes.
“But he didn’t love you.”
She shook her head. “No, he didn’t. He was focused on his career.” She planted a kiss on her father’s cheek.
“It wasn’t his fault, Paps. At least, not much.”
“Which takes us back to my original question…
When are you going to tell those two the truth?”
Kellie caught her lower lip between her teeth. “Do you really think I should?”
“They both deserve to know.”
“But Jinx—”
“Was the most honest, up-front man I ever met. I’m surprised he didn’t insist you tell Lucas long ago.”
“He did,” she admitted. “I flat-out refused to hear it.”
“And because you did, he went to Lucas and sold him a big chunk of HRI. Why do you suppose that was, Kellie?” He didn’t wait for her answer. “You know why.
It was because he wanted to bring the three of you together. It was one of his last acts, a silent plea that you do the right thing.”
She couldn’t hold her tears at bay any longer. “I know,” she said brokenly. “But how do I tell them after all these years?”
“It won’t be easy. But it has to be done.”
“I’m afraid I’ll lose Jamie when he finds out.” And Lucas? a tiny voice whispered. She doubted he’d take her subterfuge well. Not after what he perceived as her involvement in Cole’s scheme.
“It’ll be tough on the boy, but he’ll survive.”
“If Jamie finds out he’s not Jinx’s son, it might have a serious impact on his racing. He’s shaky enough as it is.” She shook her head. “I can’t take the risk right now.
I’ll tell them both after the season ends. That way they’ll have the off-season to deal with it.”
“It’s your choice,” Darrell conceded. “I just hope your decision doesn’t backfire on you.”
She shivered, praying her father’s words weren’t prophetic, but on a purely visceral level, she suspected they were.
“SO WHAT DO you think?”
Kellie checked her stopwatch and nodded in agreement. “He just went to the top of the qualifying board. Jamie’s improvement is amazing.” She smiled up at Lucas. “A lot of this is thanks to you. You realize that, don’t you?”
He shook his head. “It’s Jamie behind that steering wheel.”
“But it’s you who’s helped him with his self-confidence. To ignore the ‘Jinx Junior’ label and simply race. He’s always had phenomenal focus. But being under this sort of scrutiny would shake even a seasoned driver.”
“He’s a quick study.” Lucas watched Jamie come around again and take the checkered flag to signal the end of his Richmond qualifying lap. “I have to admit I was wrong. I didn’t think he had the chops to jump right into the NASCAR NEXTEL Cup Series. But this past month he’s proven he was born to hold a wheel. The kid’s a natural.”
Kellie grinned. The bond that had formed between Lucas and Jamie thrilled her beyond words. Watching them together she wondered how anyone could mistake their relationship. Despite the difference in their hair and eye color, their builds were identical. So was the way they moved, along with the level of their focus and intensity. But most telling of all was that slow smile they shared.
Soon. She’d have to tell them the truth soon. Just not yet. Right now she wanted to savor the budding relationship she was enjoying with Lucas without the emotional turmoil that would come once she revealed the truth.
Cole hit the track next and she caught the slight compression of Lucas’s mouth. “He’s trying,” she said in a low voice. “He hasn’t caused any more trouble.”
“Yet.”
“He’s become the odd man out over the past four weeks. That’s a pretty steep punishment for a man like Cole,” she said, trying to reason with Lucas. “Even more of a punishment than anything NASCAR or HRI could impose on him.”
He folded his arms across his chest. “Don’t kid yourself, Kellie. Cole’s riding high after that win at Talladega. Holding at second in the points race hasn’t hurt, either.”
“I don’t care what’s caused the change, so long as it stays.”
Lucas gave her a look of undisguised amusement. “It’ll last as long as he keeps winning and as long as I remain behind him in the points. When that changes, so will he. Face facts, partner. He’s biding his time.”
She checked her stopwatch as an excuse to escape the hold of those all-too-discerning eyes. How was it possible after all this time that he could still fluster her so badly? “The bottom line is that Cole’s behaving. Right now, I’ll take whatever I can get in that regard.”
Lucas crowded close under the pretext of checking the time she’d recorded. “And when he stops trying?”
“We’ll deal with that when it happens.”
He didn’t move away as she’d expected and she worked to conceal the slight tremble of hands and voice and heart that occurred whenever he came near. These were stolen minutes, moments of forbidden pleasure, when she could imagine how her life might have been if she and Lucas had been in different places when they’d first met. If he’d been a few years further along in his career. If she’d been a few years older. If their love affair could have had a chance to grow and develop instead of their experienc
ing that one fleeting night before going their separate ways. But those changes would have meant she’d never have had Jamie.
She couldn’t imagine life without her son. He’d been a joy to her, despite the shock of her unexpected pregnancy. No. She wouldn’t change anything, not even if it meant she’d have had a chance of a long-term relationship with Lucas.
He touched her hand, caught the slight tremor and gathered it up within the strength of his hold. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” She shook her head more adamantly than the moment called for. “Sorry. Got lost in my thoughts.”
“Sad thoughts.” His hold gentled. “Jinx?”
Her throat tightened, preventing her from speaking the lie. She couldn’t even bring herself to nod in order to duck the question. She’d told so many lies and half-truths, was so tired of the subterfuge. What would happen if she turned to him, turned and looked into those green eyes and told him the truth? How would he react?
It didn’t take any thought. He’d despise her. And so would her son.
“It’s almost time for you to qualify,” she warned, switching to a brisk “boss” mode. “Go make nice to the cameras and tell them how you plan to win this thing Saturday night.”
“Kellie—”
She refused to look at him, to acknowledge how badly she wanted to turn into his arms and say to hell with the cameras all around them. To forget about Cole and Jamie and everyone else scrutinizing them with such keen, predatory interest. To grab hold of Lucas and inhale him.
To surrender to the desire that underscored every word and thought and touch. But she couldn’t. She didn’t dare.
“Step back, Lucas. There are cameras on us.”
“Let them watch,” came his hard reply. “I don’t give a damn.”
“HRI has stirred up enough controversy without adding to it.”
“It’s coming, Kellie. Deny it all you want. But the day is coming when you won’t turn away from me.”
She adjusted her wraparound sunglasses. She’d never before been as grateful for them as she was in this moment. “Good luck with your lap.”
“That’s it?”
She nodded, fixing her gaze on anything and everything but the man at her side. “That’s it.”
“But you’ll be watching me.” He was close. So close she could feel the warmth of his breath on her cheek.
“You’ll be watching me every inch of the way, won’t you?” He didn’t wait for her response, but started down pit road past the line of cars waiting for their chance to qualify.
“I’ve always been watching,” she whispered.
FROM THE MOMENT Jamie drove onto Richmond’s three-quarter-mile asphalt track, he felt as though he’d come home. He couldn’t explain it, he just knew at a gut-deep level that Richmond was his track. Every driving instinct he possessed kicked into high gear, whispering to him that he could win here.
“That’s definitely a pole effort,” Paps informed him after Jamie had completed all his post-qualifying duties.
“That should give a few of your fans a thrill.”
“Really?” Jamie grinned. “You really think I have a shot at the pole?”
“More than a shot, kid.” Cole came up and gave him a congratulatory slap on the back that reminded Jamie of how it had been between them before Bristol and Martinsville. “You don’t get the pole, I’ll eat my lugnuts. Hell, you don’t get the pole by a full tenth of a second, I’ll eat my lugnuts and my wheels.”
Jamie’s cell phone rang as Cole headed for his hauler. After checking the number, he hastened to answer it. “Did you see? Were you watching?”
“Are you kidding?” Stephanie crowed. “Wait, wait!
They’re announcing it now. You got it, Jamie! You got the pole.”
He whirled around to check with his grandfather, who gave him the thumbs-up, followed by a broad, proud grin. “I only have a second to talk before the reporters find me. You’re coming Saturday, aren’t you?”
“Of course I am. I wouldn’t miss your first pole for the world.”
“Stephanie, I—”
“Jinx! Jinx Junior!”
“Stephanie? I have to go. They’re coming for me. I just wanted you to know—”
“I do know. I’ll see you on Saturday. And Jamie? Don’t let them get to you. You’re not a jinx.”
Jamie glanced over his shoulder and released his breath in a sigh. As usual, she read him like a book. Only one cloud continued to shadow the sunny blue of his sky. Despite having had three exemplary racing weeks, the press continued to yammer on about “Jinx Junior,” waiting breathlessly for the jinx to strike again. It didn’t matter how often he explained that everyone had the occasional run of bad luck, some of the more sensationalist reporters were determined to attribute every ill-timed pit stop or unsuccessful car setup or badly executed pass to the Hammond Jinx.
If it hadn’t been for Lucas’s calm dismissal of the entire situation, Jamie suspected he’d have been a nervous wreck. Instead, he’d been given direction, direction he’d badly needed since his father’s illness and death. Jamie set his jaw. Today he’d show them all. Today he’d proven that his parents’ decision to put him in the legendary Number 56 car hadn’t been a mistake.
Saturday night came in a whirlwind of publicity and interviews. Through it all, he greeted the reporters with a friendly smile, answering every last question in a calm, confident manner. He was in this for the long haul and that meant learning to handle every aspect of the business, not just the driving.
Stephanie kept her distance whenever the press was around. Shortly before the start of the race he made a point of taking her into his hauler so he could have a few private words with her out of the public eye. More than anything he wanted to collect a kiss for good luck. Relieved to find they had the place to themselves, he locked them in the room he’d reserved for his own use.
“I know your dad would have a fit if he found out we were here like this.” Out of habit, he groped for the locket he still wore each time he raced. “But tonight’s special.”
“I know you’re going to do well. I feel it in my bones.” She pressed a hand to his, their fingers joining over the small mound her locket made through his uniform. “You feel it, too, don’t you?”
He nodded. “It’s going to go well tonight.”
There was a moment of silent awareness. And then he pulled her into his arms and kissed her. This time it wasn’t a quick, tentative brush of lips. This time he let her know how he felt. How much she meant to him.
He heard the tiny hitch in her breathing that signaled her surprise. Then her hands clutched at his shoulders before sliding around his neck to cling to him. She was so soft, so fragile, in comparison to him. So giving. He wanted to love her. To protect her. To have her in his life every moment of every day and keep her there.
His kiss hardened, grew more demanding. He half expected her to pull back. But she didn’t. Instead, she returned kiss for kiss. She seemed to melt into him, and his reaction was instantaneous. If they’d been anywhere but locked in his hauler only moments before driver introductions, he’d have allowed her response to carry them further, possibly to a natural conclusion. But he couldn’t.
He pulled back as gently as he could. “Stephanie,” he whispered. “We can’t.”
She smiled up at him, her dark eyes luminous, her lips ripe and swollen from his kisses. “I wish we could.”
“Me, too.”
“Really? Then why are you frowning?” She tilted her head to one side, her discernment never ceasing to surprise him. “It isn’t just the timing, is it?”
“It’s my mom,” he admitted in a rush.
She nodded in perfect understanding. “You’re worried she might find out.”
“She wouldn’t be any happier than your father, that’s for sure. But it’s not just that.” He hesitated, before confessing, “It’s me. My birth. You see, Mom was a year younger than us when she had me.”
Stephanie�
��s eyes widened. “She was only seventeen? You’re joking.”
“She married my dad when she found out. But it wasn’t—” He shrugged. “It wasn’t like us. Do you know what I mean?”
She smiled again, a shy, teasing sort of smile. “No, I don’t know what you mean. What’s it like with us?”
He didn’t hesitate. He took exquisite care to show her, drawing out the moment, making it as special as he could. “That’s us,” he murmured against her mouth. “That’s how it is between us. I love you, Stephanie. I know it’s probably too soon to tell you. But I can’t help how I feel.”
“I love you, too, Jamie.”
Determination solidified. “They’re going to try and stop us,” he warned. “They won’t believe it’s real or that it’ll last.”
“I don’t care what they say or do. What we feel is real.”
“Then we’ll find a way to work it out.” Determination filled him. “This is how we’re going to do it. We’re going to take it slow and easy. We’ll let them get used to the idea of our being together. And I’m going to do my best both on the track and off. After a while they’ll realize that the world hasn’t stopped spinning just because we found each other at eighteen instead of at twenty-two or twenty-five.”
“And us?” A hint of color blossomed in her cheeks. “When we want to be together?”
He cupped her face and gave her a reassuring kiss. “We wait until it’s right. And when it is, we make sure we don’t repeat history.”
Someone banged on the door. “Driver introductions, Jamie,” came Paps’s voice. “Give that girl a kiss for luck and haul your butt out here before someone who can fire you finds out you’re in there alone with her.”
Jamie grinned. “Coming, Paps.” He lowered his voice. “You heard my grandfather. I’m under orders to give you a kiss for luck.”
She shot him a demure look from beneath her lashes, one belied by the distinct twinkle of amusement in her eyes. “I don’t know about you, but I try never to argue with my grandfather.”
He grinned down at her. “Me, neither.”
“One more kiss and then I want you to win me a race.”