by Day Leclaire
LUCAS KNOCKED ON Kellie’s office door, taking another second to double-check the itinerary he needed to review with her.
She answered his knock with a distracted, “Come on in.”
Once closeted inside her office, he took one look at her and fought to regain his self-control. They’d agreed to keep their personal life out of the office, to separate what they did at night with how they interacted during the day. Over the past dozen weeks, he’d managed it, though it had been nearly impossible. Now, his two worlds threatened to collide and he wasn’t sure once they did that he’d be able to separate the pieces again.
She sat behind a desk heaped with paperwork, not that she appeared to be working on any of it. One glance warned that something was seriously wrong. As usual Kellie wore her hair up, but at some point, it had come undone, trailing to her shoulders in loose curls. If it had been any other day, he’d have found the disarray endearing. Instead, he could only wonder who, what, and why, because as soon as he found out, he intended to take apart that who, what, or why, personally.
For the first time since they’d started their affair, he broke his word. He went to her. Crouching beside her chair, he gathered her into his arms. This close, she looked even more fragile, her features delicately drawn, a painful vulnerability lurking in the soft blue of her eyes. He felt as though one wrong word, one clumsy comment, and she’d shatter beyond repair.
“What’s wrong?” he murmured.
She shook her head in denial. “Nothing. Nothing’s wrong.”
“Don’t even try that. You look like hell.”
“Gee, thanks.”
“Who did this to you?”
“No one. Nothing.” She attempted to pull from his hold, not that he let her get away with it. “It’s just work.”
Kellie was lying to him, and the knowledge edged his temper into the danger zone. “Is it Cole?” She simply stared at him, not answering, and he knew he’d hit the bull’s-eye on his first try. “What did he do?”
“It’s not what he did—”
“Then, what did he want?”
“To discuss his contract. I told him we’d deal with it after Richmond.”
“Are you sure that’s all?” To his concern, tears welled into her eyes. Alarm edged past his anger. “What the hell is going on? Did he hurt you? Touch you?”
She dismissed his questions with a quick shake of her head. “I told you it wasn’t that.”
“Then what?”
“Please. I don’t want to do this now. There’s so little time left.”
He didn’t understand a thing she was saying. “Time for what?”
Her chin quivered ever so slightly. Then she drew in on herself, fighting to regain her self-control. “I think you should know that everything’s going to change after Richmond.”
His eyes narrowed. “Why?”
“I don’t want to go into it now.” She moistened her lips. “I promise I’ll explain after the Richmond race.”
“Why don’t you explain now?”
“If I do…” She shook her head with undisguised desperation. “If I tell you, it’ll end everything and I’m not ready for that. Not yet.”
He turned that one over, drawing the only logical conclusion. She was going to end their affair. While he’d been preoccupied with making it into the Chase and hadn’t been paying attention, she’d finally gotten him out of her system. How could he have missed something so obvious?
It was no different than the desperate, teenage crush she’d had on him all those years ago. She’d used him then as a substitute for Jinx. This time she’d used him as a way to recover from her husband’s death. The irony of it would have had him laughing under other circumstances. Before this, he’d always been the one to insist on keeping things casual. He’d always done everything in his power to avoid any long-term emotional entanglements.
Until Kellie.
He’d been a fool. Avoiding an emotional entanglement with a woman like her was impossible. There were too many fascinating layers to her. Too many appealing aspects to explore. And he wanted to explore each and every last one.
“Are you sure you don’t want to tell me now and get it over with?” he asked. “Sometimes it’s better than dragging things out.”
“Not now,” she whispered. “Please not now.”
Even knowing he was breaking the rules, he leaned down and stole a kiss. And then another. To his surprise, she didn’t protest. And instead of responding like a woman on the verge of ending an affair, she clung to him, returning the embrace with a desperation that had all his internal alarms going off.
“Kellie—”
She shook her head. “Richmond. After Richmond, I promise.”
He wanted to argue, to force the truth from her. Instead, he decided to wait. Wait until he had the time and privacy to get to the bottom of it, before going off half-cocked. Later, when he next held her in his arms, he’d see if he couldn’t coax the rest out of her. And then he’d try and find a way to stop her from ending the affair.
CHAPTER TWELVE
“IT’S FINALLY HERE, race fans. One of NASCAR NEXTEL Cup’s most exciting races. By the time this is over, we’ll know which twelve competitors will be in the Chase for NASCAR’s Championship…and which ones will have been eliminated. Eight spots are up for grabs and it’s anyone’s guess who will get it done.
“Over at HRI, Jinx Junior was eliminated for a shot at the championship after a disappointing run at Fontana. Despite that, he’s sitting comfortably in seventeenth place in the points and, based on what he’s shown us so far this season, should improve on that before the year ends. Jamie recently told us, ‘Richmond is my favorite track. I’m hoping to better my finish from this spring.’ Since he finished second, we can assume Hammond will be going all out to win tonight’s race!
“Last year’s champion, Bad Boyce, also had issues in Fontana, dropping him from second to sixth in the points. Even so, he only needs to cross the checkered line in thirty-fifth or better to clinch his spot in the Chase.
“The news isn’t quite so encouraging for the man who finished second in the points last year. Cole Whaling is hanging on to twelfth place by the skin of his teeth. The smallest mistake could knock him out of contention for the NASCAR Championship. Our pit reporter tried to interview him, but the usually accommodating Whaling has been surprisingly camera shy, suggesting he might be more worried than he’s letting on. We’ll let you know what he has to say if and when we track down where he’s hiding!”
“DAMN REPORTER,” Cole muttered as he turned off the television. “Hiding, my ass.”
Jamie glanced at Stephanie and they both smothered a smile. “Aw, they’re just pushing your buttons so you’ll go out and talk to them. They figure if they talk trash, you’ll fall for it and give them an interview, if only to prove you’re not hiding from them.” Jamie deliberately paused a beat, before adding, “Unless you are.”
Cole spun around and glared at him. “Is that what you think? When have I ever hidden from the cameras?” He folded his arms across his chest. “Name one single time. Just try.”
“I can’t think of a one,” Jamie claimed in his most innocent voice. “Unless, it’s right here and now.”
Cutting loose with one of his more colorful expletives, Cole stormed from the hauler. Jamie grabbed the remote and flicked the television back on. Sure enough Cole joined the reporter, dimples flashing and began to jaw on about how confident and relaxed he was. How certain he was that he’d be in the top twelfth by the end of the evening.
“That was really bad of you,” Stephanie said, giggling.
Jamie hit the mute button and tugged her close. With Cole gone, they tumbled together onto the couch, wrapped up in a tangle of arms and legs. “I can’t tell you how guilty I feel.”
“Try.”
He pinched two fingers together. “This much.”
“I thought you two were getting along better.”
“We’re getting on gr
eat. If we weren’t, I wouldn’t have done that.” He flicked her nose with the tip of his index finger. “It’s just one of those jokes teammates play on each other. A pie in the face on camera. A water balloon to the head. A food fight in the garage.”
She lifted an eyebrow. “Sounds like that reporter isn’t the only one who knows how to talk trash in order to get Cole to react.”
Jamie slanted a quick glance toward the television and grinned. “I guess he’s not.”
“I’ve been meaning to tell you…I’m sorry I couldn’t be in Fontana for you.”
The change in subject caught him by surprise. “It’s okay,” he reassured. “I didn’t expect you to fly all the way out to California.”
“I feel like it’s my fault that you did badly,” she confessed in a rush.
Concern swept through him. “Hey, that wasn’t you. You can’t take something like that on your shoulders. It was just—” He broke off, then finished awkwardly, “It was just one of those things.”
Her eyebrows pulled together. “You can’t still think it’s the Hammond Jinx? I thought you were over that.”
“I am.” He shrugged, not quite meeting her eyes. “For the most part.”
“Oh, Jamie.”
He tried to sidetrack her with a kiss. It worked for a brief time, distracting them both as they curled deeper into the couch. But when he flopped onto his back, rolling her on top of him, she returned to the subject with dogged determination.
“How can I convince you that you’re not a jinx?”
He decided to be honest. Of course, with Stephanie anything less was an impossibility. “Everyone says I’ve inherited my dad’s skill behind the wheel. No matter how often I try and convince myself that you can’t inherit a jinx the way you can good reflexes or mechanical ability, I can’t help but wonder. Every time I think I’ve overcome it, something else happens and it starts all over again.”
“That’s the media talking.”
“Maybe because it’s true.”
She cupped his face and stared at him with fierce dark eyes that were at distinct odds with the softness of her touch. “Now, you listen to me, Jamie Hammond. The media goes on and on about that ridiculous jinx because it’s sensationalistic and attracts viewers. It’s a…a hook, just like calling every little thing Lucas does ‘bad.’ They’re pushing your buttons on this issue, just like they were pushing Cole’s earlier. And it’s working because you’re letting it.”
He nodded, conceding the point. “Even so—”
“Even so, nothing. Both your mother and Lucas have told you that it’s easier to blame everything on a stupid jinx than it is for you and the people on your team to take responsibility for your errors.” She thumped his chest with her index finger. “Look at Lucky. He was using the jinx to hide a drinking problem.”
“But…Dad believed in the jinx. Heck, he lived it.”
“Granted, he had more strife than the average person. But he also had more successes. That’s life. It might not be fair, but we each have to deal with the cards we’re dealt.” She kissed him, a fall of midnight hair sweeping forward to enclose them in their own private world. “I happen to think the cards we’ve been dealt are pretty special. And I won’t have you denying us the chance to learn and grow by blaming all our adversities on a jinx. If it’s all a jinx, all up to fate and not up to driver skill, then why bother taking the track? Now, stop being ridiculous and choose how you live your life. You got me, Mr. Hammond?”
He tightened his arms around her. “Oh, I’ve got you, and I choose you. And now that I have, I’m never letting you go.”
“That’s good to know, because I’m not letting go, either.” Her expression softened. “Drive safely tonight, okay?”
“Even better, tonight I’m going to bring home a win.”
“I don’t care, so long as at the end of tonight we’re together again.”
It gave him such a high, having Stephanie in his life, knowing that she didn’t care about all the trappings. She only cared about him. He’d been lucky to find her, to have her in his life. And if luck were the reverse side of the “jinx” coin, he’d take it. She was right, of course. He shouldn’t believe in the jinx. But how could he not when it had been part of his life—part of him—since the moment of his birth?
Still…If it made Stephanie feel better for him to deny the jinx, he would. He fell into her kiss. And as he did so, his final coherent thought was that he hoped luck would continue to favor him, because there was nothing that tasted better than having good fortune on his side.
“YOU DON’T WANT to go in there,” Lucas warned.
Kellie paused, her hand hovering above the knob to the hauler, and glanced over her shoulder at him. “Why? What’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong. You’ll just embarrass the hell out of your son and his girlfriend.”
Her eyes widened. “Oh, dear. I was going to wish him luck before the race.”
Lucas grinned. “I believe Stephanie’s doing that right now.” He jerked his head in the direction of his own hauler. “Why don’t we go in there and you can wish me luck, instead?”
The suggestion proved too tempting to resist, especially considering it might be the last opportunity she’d ever have. “Please,” she said. “I’d really like that.”
She didn’t care who was watching, and apparently neither did Lucas. He propelled her toward his hauler and inside with impressive speed. “Out,” he ordered the team members and staff lounging inside.
They took one look and, to Kellie’s amusement, assumed an argument was brewing and about to explode. Instead a very different emotion was on the verge of erupting. The instant the door closed behind the final departing employee, Lucas tipped her into his arms and covered her mouth with his. Heat flashed through her, hot and heavy and thick, followed by a burning need that made her wish for one more night with him before she told him the truth about Jamie. Just one.
The awareness that this might be the last time he’d ever take her into his arms, had her returning his kiss with painful desperation. “More.” Her hands swept over his uniform, searching for the fastenings that held it closed. “I want more.”
“Easy, sweetheart.” He caught her hands in his, lifting them to his mouth for a series of swift, teasing kisses. “We’ll have plenty of time for more after the race.”
Maybe they would. Surely Cole wouldn’t insist on an answer the moment the race ended. She could have one more heavenly night in Lucas’s bed before having to tell him the truth. “Tonight. All night.”
“Good Lord, woman. You’re going to be the death of me.” Lucas nuzzled her neck. “But I have to tell you, as far as lucky kisses go, this has to be the best I’ve ever had.”
She groaned, forcing herself to gather sufficient brain cells to respond. “Ever?” She considered the possibility. “You’ve been in the business a long time. That’s got to be a lot of kisses.”
“It is,” he confirmed. “And my claim still stands.”
“Then let me give you one more, just to make sure there’s no doubt about it.”
They didn’t have much longer, and Kellie treasured those few stolen moments, hugging his comments to her like bright, shiny gifts. Even afterward, when she took her usual place on top of Jamie’s war wagon, she carried them with her, knowing they’d help her get through the painful time ahead.
She’d thought long and hard about joining Dipstick on top of Lucas’s war wagon, but worried about the fallout when Cole found out. Keeping to her usual choice seemed the most diplomatic option. Tonight was a special evening, one she had high hopes for. At least, they were high when she didn’t take Cole’s ultimatum into consideration. If everything went well, she’d have two drivers in the championship race, and her son with his first NASCAR NEXTEL Cup win. Of course, years in the business had taught her to never expect the best. But she could still hope.
She’d always been fond of Richmond. Jinx had gotten his first win here, as had a number of dr
ivers. She could only hope that Jamie would, as well. The race started well. Jamie was near the front, with Cole not far behind. Lucas had qualified toward the middle and would have his work cut out for him picking his way through the field. Because it was only a three-quarter mile track, he risked getting lapped early if he wasn’t careful.
Kellie found her binoculars trained on Lucas even more often than her son. She only dropped in on Cole every few laps. To her relief, Lucas got up on the wheel right from the start, using the multi-groove passing in Turns Three and Four to pick up spots. But even as she watched, an undeniable foreboding filled her.
Like Bristol, the noise level was incredible, the roar of the crowd and the engines nearly deafening. She’d become attuned to the energy level, both on the track and off, cranked to the max, the power of it rumbling just beneath the surface, desperate for release.
It was as though the track magnified all her inner turmoil and reflected it back at her, and she couldn’t help but sense that she teetered on the very edge of control. That it would only take one false move and she’d slam into the wall.
The wreck was coming. She could feel it. And she knew…this was one disaster she didn’t have a hope of surviving.
ADRENALINE SHOT through Jamie as he missed the wreck in front of him with only inches to spare.
“Did you see that?” he shouted into his microphone. “Could it have been any closer?”
“Easy, son,” came Paps’s soothing voice. “Fall in line and stay clear of the debris.”
“How’s the car handling?” Jamie’s new crew chief cut in.
Sandy was more easygoing than Lucky had been, and within just a few races, Jamie had developed an excellent rapport with the older man. He seemed to have a knack for understanding “shading.” Instead of getting impatient when Jamie would describe the car as a bit loose, way loose, or loose as a goose, he seemed to instantly grasp the finer subtleties. Even better, he had the ability to take Jamie’s analysis and fit improvement to generalization in order to produce a top-notch race car.