I couldn’t wait to get the stupid stitches out of my fingers! I had won my previous fight, but it was too close for comfort. I depended on my right hand too much to lose it like I have. It was making me nervous.
“You need to ice down still, and you were supposed to take it easy this week. Tommy said that your ribs aren’t getting any better last night, so like Tommy has continuously kept telling us, we’re taking it easy today!”
“Aiden . . . I need to train!” I said loudly, trying to sound intimidating.
“Aubry, when we started this, you said that you would do what I said. Now, this is what I say: go ice down your ribs now, then we’ll do light weightlifting and small combo work. When we get back from Christmas, we’ll continue training.” He raised his voice in a stern manner.
I didn’t want to listen, but instead of being difficult, I just walked into the training room with a huff. I knew that he was probably right. I wasn’t sure what it was, but when he yelled at me, I didn’t feel scared or even angered like I usually was when other people yelled at me. It was a whole different emotion, one that I had never experienced before.
I sat down, still slightly shaking from the cold. Shouldn’t the freezing cold from outside be enough to suffice the ice? I sighed and lifted my shirt to let Aiden put the ice down. I knew that the cold air was not the same as ice, and I needed to ice my ribs—as Aiden said, they weren’t getting better.
“You have goose bumps,” Aiden said as he put his warm hand gently on my lower back. “Maybe ice isn’t such a good idea, you’re shivering.”
He walked out of the room and returned a minute later holding a blanket and a heating pad.
“You need to warm up before we do anything.”
He put those on me quickly and walked back out with a heavy breath. I could tell that he was worried about me. I felt bad for worrying him, I didn’t mean to.
I took the time that he left me by myself to try to get some sleep. I hadn’t been sleeping hardly at all because I didn’t have the time that I usually slept at school, plus, I had to always be on edge during the night.
***
He was standing there grinning at me sadistically. That’s what he always did, he watched us until he could get us alone. We were alone right then though. My heart rate accelerated as he began walking my way. What was I supposed to do?! I needed to get away, but I couldn’t move.
He grabbed my hair roughly and pulled me to him. I was pushing and hitting, but my hits just bounced right off of him. It was like anything that I did was pointless, I could never escape.
His hands began sliding down towards the hem of my pants, and I began to scream. I knew it was futile though.
“Aubry! Aubry, it’s a dream. Wake up!”
I was suddenly pulled back into reality and had tears in my eyes. I looked around carefully and was relieved to realize that I was still lying in the training room.
Aiden was standing next to me while stroking my hair softly, being comforting and nice.
“Are you okay?” he questioned cautiously while looking me over to make sure that I truly was okay.
I nodded wordlessly and took a deep breath. I was trying to convince myself too.
“It was just a dream,” I finally managed to say. I sat up slowly and tried to breathe through the pain in my ribs, they were hurting terribly.
“Can we start training now?” I asked, wanting to get the dream out of my head.
Aiden nodded and led me through the door. “Like I said, we’re taking it easy today . . . We can start with light jogging and stretching,” he said firmly to me.
I couldn’t help but roll my eyes, but I followed his lead and started to jog very slowly.
It was very silent between us as we jogged. He kept looking over at me periodically while looking like he wanted to ask me something, but he kept closing his mouth instead.
“Um, so . . . twenty questions?” Aiden suggested questioningly.
“What’s that?” I asked, raising my eyebrows. Surely, that wasn’t what he kept questioning himself over?
He stopped jogging abruptly and looked at me as if I was crazy. “It’s kind of like a game. Basically, you ask each other questions to get to know each other better.”
I shrugged and then nodded easily. “You go first.”
“Here’s an easy one, what’s your favorite color?”
It was supposed to be easy, but I’ve never had time to think about stuff like that. I thought for a second. What was my favorite thing to see and what color is it?
“Blue,” I blurted out quickly. His eyes were by far, my favorite thing to see.
“When is your birthday?” I asked curiously.
“September sixteenth.”
“So, you’re already eighteen then,” I stated nonchalantly.
He nodded. “When is yours?”
“February nineteenth,” I answered softly. A day that I hated so very much.
“What is your favorite color?” I asked.
“Green, but a specific kind of green that is hard to explain,” he specified.
I smiled and nodded at his words.
“Did you grow up here?”
“Born and raised, unfortunately,” I answered.
“You don’t like this town?” he asked softly.
“The town, I suppose, isn’t too bad. Just . . . how I grew up, I guess. I’m not sure,” I whispered softly.
Aiden’s eyes softened at me.
“Anyways . . . yeah.”
“Okay, so off topic,” Aiden said, abruptly changing the subject because he could see my change in attitude. “Tomorrow is Christmas Eve, and we’re not training obviously. So, I was wondering if you would like to come over tomorrow evening? You can help us decorate the tree, watch Christmas movies with us, have dinner with us, and spend the night then spend Christmas morning with us as well.” He could see my apprehensive look and added very quickly, “I mean, if you want to, obviously! I was just kind of assuming that your dad has to work Christmas Eve as well.”
I was caught off guard. I mean, I was being asked to spend the night in a warm home, be part of nice family moments, and wake up to a hot breakfast? It sounded absolutely wonderful, but it didn’t seem right to invade their home and family moment.
“I don’t want to intrude on your family time,” I said honestly.
“Come on, that’s nonsense! My whole family likes you, and my mom is the one that suggested this. She wants you to spend the whole holiday with us . . . All of us do!”
I mean, how was I supposed to say no to that? So instead, I just nodded and felt excited for the holiday for the first time in my life.
***
I tried to take calming breaths as I got closer to the house. I always felt nervous when I was going to see his family. I felt inadequate when I went to his house, like they could see right through me and realize that I didn’t belong and how awful of a person I was.
I couldn’t stop myself from overthinking as I approached the house. They were all too nice to me, and I certainly didn’t deserve it. I also think that it was my subconscious reacting in that way because it knew that I didn’t belong there. I didn’t belong in a family, especially that family in their nice home where I don’t have to worry about bills or grown men who were too aggressive. No, I didn’t belong in a home like theirs. I and everyone else knew it.
I almost turned around. Almost, but my want and need for warmth and food outweighed my anxieties and guilt. I pulled out an unsteady hand from my winter coat’s pocket and rapped on the door lightly, trying not to hurt my basically frozen hand. The door opened, and I was met by the blue eyes I had been wanting to see all day long.
Aiden smiled at me and stepped aside. “Aubry! It’s nice to see you. I’m so glad that you came,” he said as I walked inside. He helped me slide off my coat and smiled at me fondly. He was so different from when we first met, and that made me smile with glee.
“Aubry, Aubry, Aubry!” a jumping up and down little Cec
e said as she grabbed my hand. “I’m so glad you’re here! Just in time to help with the Christmas tree!”
My anxiety level raised slightly; I had never decorated a Christmas tree before.
Cece sensed my uneasiness and stopped abruptly. “You do want to decorate with us, right?” she asked, frowning slightly.
“Yeah . . . I know that it’s a little weird. I mean, most families do it right after Thanksgiving, but we have always done it on Christmas Eve because my mom used to always be so busy with work. Soon enough, it just became our family tradition,” Aiden added shakily. He had misunderstood my hesitance as me thinking that I thought that they were weird.
I started to bend over to get to eye level with the little girl, but stopped immediately as my back protested. I took a sharp breath in and grimaced at the pain. I knew that the pain hadn’t been getting better even in the slightest. I guess no rest and the hard playground equipment was catching up to me. Aiden put his hand on my shoulder and helped me stand up right again as he looked at me with a guarded expression.
“Of course, I want to decorate the tree with you!” I said with as much enthusiasm as I could muster. I paused and smiled at her and then looked at Aiden too. “Don’t think that my hesitation has anything to do with your lovely traditions,” I said mostly to him. I then turned my full attention to Cece. “It’s just . . . I’ve never decorated a Christmas tree before. You’ll have to show me how to, okay?”
Her eyes lit up. “You’re never decorated a Christmas tree before?!” she exclaimed and practically ran into the living room, beckoning me to follow her. I did so, and Aiden followed behind, laughing at his little sister’s antics.
There was a tall artificial green tree there. It had several ornaments already hanging from the limbs. It was really pretty, even with hardly any décor yet.
Briana came towards me and gave me a small hug. “I’m glad you’re spending Christmas here with us!” she said and went to decorate more with a smile.
Cece handed me boxes and started bossing both me and Aiden around with vigor. The girl was so small, but I could see that she was going to be something else when she grew up. It made me smile, thinking about how much of a whirlwind she’d be.
Dana came in with Christmas cookies and greeted me kindly. She then helped us finish the decorations as Pawpaw sat and watched while munching on the cookies that Dana had made. It was a very beautiful moment in my opinion. It felt normal.
About half an hour later the tree was basically finished. It was beautiful. It had several homemade ornaments on it, traditional colored tinsel, and twinkling white lights. I was surprised by the warmth in my chest that I felt while looking at it. Normally, I just despised Christmas and holiday-related decor.
“It’s gorgeous!” Dana said with a large smile. “There’s just one thing missing . . .” She walked over to the box on the side of the tree and slowly pulled out something wrapped up in newspapers. She looked at it and then up to us.
I could feel the ominous energy in the room.
“I know that Dad always puts this up every Christmas . . .” She paused and swallowed.
I was becoming even more uncomfortable.
“Aiden, would you do the honors? Your dad would want you to.”
Aiden stiffened beside me, and my heart lurched. I couldn’t do it; I couldn’t be there with them and ruin their moment unbeknownst to them.
Aiden nodded and took the package from his mom’s hands. He unwrapped it carefully and revealed a gorgeous silver star that goes on the very tip of the tree. Aiden didn’t even need a step stool or anything as he reached his hand up and placed the star on top. He carefully plugged the star in, and it lit up along with the rest of the tree. The whole tree was complete. However, the heavy feeling was still in the air until we heard a knock from the front door.
“Grams and Gramps!” Cece exclaimed while running to the front door.
Wait, what? People? Strangers? I hadn’t known that I was going to meet his grandparents!
I looked down at my clothes. I was relieved that they weren’t too bad. I had on black leggings, a long black shirt, a long black cardigan, and I still had on a thick red scarf. I was relieved that I didn’t look too bad, but I was also nervous as hell! I glanced sideways at Aiden who was standing next to me with a sheepish look on his face.
“Sorry, this is the first Christmas that we’ve celebrated without my dad. Usually, my grandparents go on a cruise for Christmas. Since we were all still mourning last year, they broke that tradition and so, this year, instead of the cruise as usual, they decided to come spend it with us instead. I just found out yesterday! I definitely would have told you if I had known!” he said apologetically.
I mean how could I be mad about that? I was feeling guilty about causing him unneeded stress and nodded at his apology. Needless to say, my anxiety was overactive.
He smiled slightly, “But um . . . Aubry? My uncle Chris is coming tonight as well.” My eyes widened even more. “Don’t worry! They’ll love you! All of my sane family does!” he comforted while grabbing my hand and squeezed a little, I couldn’t help but notice that he didn’t immediately let go.
Soon enough, the rest of the family, along with two elderly people, walked into the living room. I quickly took my hand away from Aiden’s and took a step back as of I was trying to hide a little. I kind of was since meeting new people was not my forte. I was too awkward and weird.
“You must be Aubry!” Aiden’s grandma said, smiling as she walked toward us. “I’m so happy to meet you!” she said, making me relax a little at her kindness. “I’m Sharon, and this is Dale.”
Suddenly, she pulled me into a tight hug. I held my breath as tears filled my eyes; partially from the pain in my ribs, and partially from how nice everyone was being. I didn’t deserve it, and I was very unused to it.
“Grams, let her go please,” Aiden said sternly.
His grandma obliged, giving me a strange look.
“Sorry, she hurt herself yesterday when we were working out. She didn’t want to be rude and refuse your hug. However, I’m sure that hurt her,” Aiden clarified expertly.
“Oh heavens! I’m so sorry Aubry! You should have told me,” she said, placing a soft hand on my shoulder.
I cleared my throat uncomfortably and shifted under everyone’s stares. “Oh . . . it’s okay,” I brushed it off casually.
Dana entered into the conversation and addressed her parents, “Anyways, you two will be in Bri’s bed. She and Cece will share Cece’s, then when Chris gets here, he’ll be with Aiden. I hope you don’t mind sleeping on the couch, Aubry? I know it’s completely inconvenient, but . . .” she trailed off.
“Oh no. No ma’am. The couch is completely okay. I’ll take the floor, for all I care. Just thanks for having me!” I said genuinely.
“Don’t be silly!” Dana brushed off my thanks with a smile just as someone knocked on the door. “And there’s Chris.” She walked away to the door with a relaxed smile. She looked much more relaxed and happier than the last time I was there . . . actually, everyone did.
“So, where are you sleeping, Aiden?” I asked curiously since Chris had his bed.
He smiled at me. “On the floor . . . next to the couch.”
My face heated up.
I had no time to reply when a loud jovial voice filled the room. “You must be Aiden’s girlfriend!”
I looked at the man in front of me and opened my mouth to correct him. However, before I could, he pulled me into a bone-crushing hug.
I suddenly couldn’t breathe.
***
Aiden
I knew that it was weird to barely decorate a tree on Christmas eve. Most people do it close after Thanksgiving, but my mom had just always been so busy with work that she couldn’t ever help us until Christmas, even when she finally got off for the holiday.
I was nervous that Aubry was standing there and judging. I knew that was kind of stupid. I mean it was Aubry we were talking about. Howe
ver, I couldn’t help my self-consciousness. I was just so used to people judging and looking down on me and my family.
When she said that her hesitance was due to the fact that she had never decorated a Christmas tree before, I was baffled. When she said that she was doing nothing for the holidays, I hadn’t realized that it was a common occurrence for her. I couldn’t believe that she had never decorated for Christmas, or another type of holiday close to Christmas. It just showed how different some people’s lives are vastly different from others.
All of my fear of judgment quickly dissipated, and it was replaced with the want to show her a lovely holiday—to give her the holiday that she deserved.
***
Soon after the tree was done, my family began showing up.
I truly hadn’t been told that Grams and Gramps were coming until late the night before. I knew that Aubry was going to be uncomfortable at meeting them. I mean, she was still uncomfortable when she came into my house with only my immediate family there, so I knew that brand-new people were going to stress her out.
I just had to figure out how to keep her calm. There was no reason to get anxious; my grandparents were as sweet as could be and Uncle Chris was fun and accepting. However, I knew how anxiety could be. It was unpredictable and completely irrational.
I just hoped that I could make her comfortable enough to get her through the immediate stress.
“Don’t worry! They’ll love you! All of my sane family does!” I found myself reassuring her and grabbed her hand at the sight of her panicked face. I quickly realized how much I didn’t want to let go.
When everyone came back into the room, I reluctantly let her pull her hand away. I wasn’t sure why I was being so clingy and crazy over her. I was being ridiculous, frankly. It was crazy how all rational thoughts in my brain dissipated when it came to Aubry. My feelings were evolving too quickly for the small girl, and I was not comfortable with it at all.
Aubry took a step back and found her way behind me. That seemed to be her go-to when nervous, just hiding behind me like a child. It used to annoy the hell out of me, but it quickly evolved into a strange sort of endearment, not to mention pride, since I was the one that she was using as a comfort shield.
Fighting For Life Page 24