Aubry sighed and gave me a brave smile. “I’ll be okay . . . We will be okay.”
I smiled at her and nodded at her words. She gave me a long, breathtaking kiss when I pulled her in for a hug. She managed to even leave me dazed. I couldn’t help to smile at her . . . my girlfriend.
“Okay, let’s get this day over with,” I sighed when I looked over at the school.
I definitely didn’t want to go to school, especially with all of the BS that had already been going on that morning. I hated school. Granted, pretty much everyone hated school. I really hated most of the people that went to there, the attention that I got, the whispers, the stares, the pointing. I just hated all of it.
With Aubry and I going public, I knew that there was going to be a lot of unwanted attention especially on Aubry. I mean, even during the day when she rode my truck the first time, I sincerely thought that everyone’s heads were going to explode.
I really didn’t care about me or about the things that they’d say to or about me. However, I was worried about Aubry. She already didn’t like attention, and I knew that she’d be getting a lot of that. I was worried about the way people would start treating her. Maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to let everyone know about us, yet on the other hand, I also didn’t want to hide her.
I knew that the day was going to be a whole shit show, so we might as well get it over with.
I sighed and got out of the truck slowly; I knew everyone would find out eventually anyways. Aubry met me around the front and looked at me.
She smiled hesitantly.
“Are you ready for this?” I asked glumly.
She nodded slightly, but then shook her head.
“Not really.” She laughed and shrugged.
I chuckled and kissed her temple. “You’ll be fine, love . . .” The pet name was foreign to me, but the way her eyes lit up when I said it made my heart happy.
Just as I expected, everyone was staring when we walked into the building. They were talking about us like we were a TV show, not real people. I was pissed. It was all ridiculous.
Aubry stopped walking abruptly, making me look at her in alarm. She brought a hand up to my cheek and smiled.
“Don’t make that face, you’re much sexier with a smile,” she said with a smile at me. She then boldly pecked my lips.
Aubry knew exactly how to bring me back to earth.
I laughed and gave her a quick kiss in response. “Sorry, these people make me tense.”
She shrugged like the whole student body wasn’t watching us. “They’ve been speculating for weeks. They shouldn’t be too surprised. Besides, they obviously need something to talk about. I’m fine with that being us. I mean, I know what’s real and what’s not. Who cares about the rest?”
I smiled and pecked her lips again. “You’re amazing,” I said.
I soon realized that we were passing by the hall of her first class. I figured that I would leave her there, so I wasn’t late to my own. “I’ll see you later,” I told her while I gave her another kiss. I couldn’t wipe the smile off of my face that this amazing girl brought to me.
I walked to my class quickly, trying to avoid everyone and everything. All the stares, the questions, the glares . . . I wanted to ignore all of it and live in the bubble that was simply just me and Aubry. I knew that was a fantasy world though, someone else was bound come along and ruin it.
I was about two hallways away from my class when I was stopped by a person who stepped directly in my way. I was already annoyed, so that really pissed me off.
“What are you doing with the loser?” the girl in front of me asked. “I’m just saying, literally anyone in this whole school would be better than that thing that you’re dating,” she continued, making my anger rise.
I just needed to leave. I needed to get out of that situation before I beat the girl up.
“Aubry is amazing! You’re obviously just a bitch,” I stated before I turned around and walked back the way I came.
I hated how everyone regarded Aubry. Everyone acted as if she was nothing. She was a godsend and not anything less than that. I really needed to get out of there before I killed someone. Everyone was seriously pissing me off.
The bell was supposed to be ringing at any moment, so the hallways were pretty much deserted. I didn’t really care though; I had decided that I was going to skip my first couple of periods. I couldn’t deal with any of those dumbass people. I never understood people’s fascination with me and my life. I really didn’t understand why people seemed to hate Aubry so much.
I thought about going and getting Aubry. I was sure that her morning was going about as good as mine was. Unfortunately, I figured that she was probably already in class though.
I approached the hallway that I had left her in. For some reason, my gut kept telling me to go down to it. I sighed at myself, I knew that I better go, just see if anything was wrong. My gut was usually right about those sorts of things.
I turned down the hall, and immediately saw Aubry at the end of it. She was only one door down from her class. Bridget was in front of her, scowling down her nose at her.
I truly didn’t understand what was wrong with girl. Why couldn’t she understand that I did not want her?
Aubry turned to walk away but stopped at whatever Bridget had said to her. Aubry had a look of fury on her face. I knew that look; it was the one that she usually wore right before she savagely beat someone up. Bridget definitely needed it. However, I was not going to let Aubry be the one to do that. As Aubry had already said, Bridget’s dad was a powerful man. It would only hurt Aubry if she laid hands on the girl.
I quickly ran down the hallway towards the two girls. I made it to the girls just as Bridget was raising her hand to slap Aubry. Aubry looked almost excited.
“Probably not a good idea,” I told Bridget with a glare.
I glanced over at Aubry, who was still smirking at Bridget, calculating her every move.
She put her hand down and looked between the two of us. “Aiden! Oh hey! I was just . . . congratulating y’all,” she said with a sweet smile, making me roll my eyes.
I raised an eyebrow at the nasty girl in front of me. “Really? Because it looked like you were about to slap my beautiful girlfriend, which by the way, wouldn’t end too well . . . for you.”
She tried to deny it, but I cut her off, “Are you okay, Aub?” I asked her.
She nodded wordlessly.
“Look Bridget, I don’t want you. I’m sorry that you got too attached to me, but we are completely and totally done. I made it very clear that I was not emotionally involved with you at all. I don’t really know how you misinterpreted that, but you need to accept the reality. I am with Aubry. Even if I were not with her, I still would not want to be your boyfriend. We never were together, nor will we ever be,” I explained to the blonde as slowly and carefully as I could, much like explaining things to a child.
“Now, you are going to leave my girlfriend alone from here on. The next time that I catch wind of you being mean to or about her, I will not be nice about it. Also, if you ever raise your hand to her ever again, I will not hesitate to let her pummel you to nothing. Do you understand?”
Bridget whimpers as tears fell out of her eyes but she nodded, nonetheless.
“Come on, love. Let’s ditch,” I told Aubry and took her down the hallway with me.
The whole day was turning into a disaster. All I wanted was Aubry. I didn’t want to deal with a single other human being.
***
We spent all day at the gym training. We made up more time for missing our morning training session. Before we knew it, it was time to go home.
“Aiden, do you know who I’m fighting tomorrow?” Aubry asked me thoughtfully.
I shook my head. “No, Trey wouldn’t tell me who either one of us is fighting tomorrow. I think that he wants to use it as a scare tactic, but you never know. Trey is an unpredictable man,” I said honestly.
I seriousl
y hoped that he wasn’t going to try to pull some sort of BS with Aubry. Unfortunately, my gut was telling me that he was definitely going to do just that.
“Okay,” she said and shrugged, though I could see the worry in her eyes. “I suppose it’ll just be a surprise then.” She paused and picked her stuff up. “Let’s go home, I’m sleepy.”
I chuckled loudly making both Tom and Brandon look at me.
“You’re always sleepy,” I replied, kissing her temple.
“Yeah! So, let’s go home!”
We made it home shortly. We both walked in the door and began to my room. Aubry stopped abruptly with a frown.
“Um . . . I guess I’ll just get my clothes then go the living room,” she said reluctantly.
I sighed and nodded.
Soon enough, I was laying in my bed, while I was sure that she was laying in hers. I already missed her sleeping next to me. The girl who had me completely wrapped around her finger. I smiled as I thought about her smile. I was acting like a lovesick fool.
That thought stopped me on a dime.
Love. Was that what the feelings that I had for Aubry equated? Did I truly love Aubry?
I spent a long time contemplating on that question. The thought plagued my mind and kept me awake.
I honestly had no idea. I had never been in love before, but I also knew that I had never felt the same way that I felt for her towards anyone else.
Love.
After what seemed like hours and hours, I finally fell asleep, all while thinking of Aubry.
***
Arms were holding me down so I couldn’t move.
“Let me go!” I kept screaming. “Let me go!”
I could see her on the floor several feet in front of me, but I was too far to reach her. I needed to get to her!
I could see him hovering over her as she was screaming loudly. I needed to save her!
I couldn’t save her. I could only watch.
He pulled out his knife and held it above her face.
No! No! No!
“Let me go!” I screamed louder, yet I still I couldn’t move.
The screams grew louder, but they no longer sounded like mine. They sounded like Aubry’s.
Shit, Aubry! No!
“Aubry!” I yelled loudly, but she just screamed extremely loudly again.
I was wailing, completely bawling my eyes out. I needed to save Aubry, but I couldn’t!
My eyes shot open quickly and the screams filled my ears once again. I couldn’t comprehend why I was still hearing the screams of terror from my girl. I was supposed to be awake.
I pinched myself and pain quickly went through my arm.
Yes, I was certainly awake.
Another piercing scream hung in the air around me. I immediately sprung up from bed and ran to the living room. Mom and Briana were already running out of their rooms, but I was quicker than them, so I passed them easily.
I found my way around the couch, and that was when I saw her. Aubry screamed loudly again as tears poured out down her face like a river.
“Aubry!” I called out in panic.
She was having another nightmare, and it must’ve been awful for it to make her scream like that. I had never heard her scream so loud in my life.
“Aubry please, please, please wake up,” I begged gently. I was trying to be calm and loving because that was what she needed right then.
“Aubry . . . Baby, wake up,” I said, moving her hair and stroking her face. “Come on, love. Wake up.” I kissed her temple, and her eyelids opened immediately right in the middle of a scream.
Her screams died at her lips, and she shuddered. Her breathing was ragged while her tears were streaming steadily down her face. She clung to me tightly but couldn’t get a single word out.
She was having a panic attack.
I pulled her up into a sitting position while cradling her in my lap. I put her hand on my chest and moved her face to look right at mine. “Aubry, breathe. I’m right here. I’m right here. You’re okay, just breathe.”
She searched my eyes for a few minutes, still clutching onto my shirt for dear life. I never looked away from her. Her eyes stayed looking into mine the whole time.
After a little while, her breathing slowed, and her tears turned into little sniffles. Yet, I still didn’t let her go.
“Aiden . . . I-I-I’m sorry,” she said in a broken voice.
“It’s okay. I’m right here, sweet girl,” I said and kissed her forehead. “Besides, you woke me up from my own nightmare,” I told her softly.
She swallowed, and I could tell that the action was painful. So, I gently laid her down and shushed her.
“I’ll be right back, I promise,” I reassured her when she whined a little bit. I was just going to get her some water. I was sure that her throat was very raw after screaming so much.
I walked into the kitchen and not even half a minute later, my mom entered in behind me. I glanced at her for a second.
“I’m sorry Aiden,” my mom said slowly. “I didn’t realize that it was that bad. I also didn’t know that you were still having nightmares.”
I turned to her after I got a glass of water. “I told you that I needed her, and she needs me. I don’t think that makes us unhealthy. We rely on one another, isn’t that what relationships do? We find solace in each other. I really don’t think that’s wrong.” I paused and looked at my mother. “However, we did agree with each other to start spending a little time apart. Can that be enough? I really . . . We need each other, Mom.”
“I see that . . .” she paused and looked away. “You’re really good with her. You really care about her, huh? I mean, I knew that you did, I just didn’t realize that it was this much.”
She sighed and took a long pause. “Okay, as long as you promise to start spending a little time apart, you may both sleep in your room.”
I breathed out a sigh of relief.
“But Aiden, you need to understand that she has a lot of baggage. Some of it is probably not pretty, so I just want you to remember that as you get closer to her. She has a lot of trauma,” my mom said. “Goodnight, son. I’m proud of you.” She gave me a big hug and kissed my cheek. “Just remember when the time comes. No glove no lo—”
“Mom!” I groaned.
She chuckled and walked out of the kitchen.
“Thank God,” I said aloud.
I needed Aubry.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
I Believe in You
Aubry
Aiden was dead.
He died at the hands of all the bad people in my life. He died because of all my demons and all my monsters. He died because of me.
I screamed because I couldn’t handle it.
I screamed because I did it.
I screamed because he was dead.
I killed him.
I opened my eyes when Aiden returned, holding a glass of water out to me. I shakily took the glass in my hands and studied the water. I just needed to think of anything else.
“Aubry, drink. I know that your throat must hurt,” Aiden said softly while brushing the messy hair away from my face.
I obediently took a few sips while relishing in his touches on my skin. I needed to stop. I needed to quit. I knew that if I kept it up, my dream was going to come true. It was only a matter of time.
“Aub, are you okay?” he whispered softly.
I shot him a fake smile and nodded silently.
“I hate it when you fake a smile.”
“I know,” I stated simply and took a long swallow of the water in my hand. “I’m okay Aiden. I really am,” I said in an almost convincing voice.
“Really Aubry? Because you’ve never woke up the whole house with your screams before. Plus, I’ve never seen your eyes quite so sad when you’ve woken up from a dream. So . . . are you really okay, Aubry? Because I really don’t think you are.”
I was caught off guard. “Okay” is such a relative term. It means so many different thin
gs to so many different people. I wasn’t completely sure what my definition of ‘okay’ was, but I knew that I probably wasn’t it.
“Aiden.” I sighed. “I-I don’t know. Maybe the nightmares that I missed while sleeping with you came back in full force, or maybe it was just a bad night.” I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes. “I-It was just so real. You were . . . You were dead. And it was all of my fault. A-And . . . and . . .” I could feel the panic rising in my chest. The visions of Aiden dead were too much for me. It was too real, and I felt like I couldn’t breathe.
“Hey, hey, hey Aubry, I’m right here. I’m not dead. Listen to me, Aubry, I’m here,” he spoke calmly as he grasped my shaking hand while putting it on his chest. His heartbeat was there again, steady and true. “I’m alive, and I’m right here with you.”
He took my hand from his chest and brought it up to his lips. He kissed my palm, the back of my hand, my wrist, then all the way up my arm to my neck. Before long, his lips landed on mine. He kissed my lips forcefully and reassuringly.
“I’m right here Aubry, okay? You have nothing to worry about, I’m here!” he said gently while leaning his forehead on mine.
I nodded stiffly while holding onto him just to reassure myself.
He picked me up gently and cradled me with blankets and all. I looked at him questioningly as he began to walk out of the room.
“My mother said that we can sleep in my room. So, lets get back to sleep. We have some big fights tomorrow.”
I breathed a sigh of relief as soon as he said those words. He gently sat me down on his bed, and we both go comfortable. That was where I slept dreamlessly and restfully for the remainder of the night with Aiden’s arms wrapped securely around me.
***
We walked into the Underground. The smell of smoke and sweat immediately hit my nose, making my eyes water. I had no clue how I had spent so much time there before when I was dealing. Just the thought of spending more than one night a week there made me want to gag.
Fighting For Life Page 45