I needed them all in my life. I couldn’t die without telling them all goodbye. I couldn’t leave them, my family, my future, and my loved ones. I had no idea what was going to happen to me, but with them, I knew I could handle it. With them, I knew I had help and a home.
I had to make it okay again. I had to get out of the darkness that I was in! I had to bring myself back. I had to will myself to live! I couldn’t let Daniel and Ronnie win! I couldn’t let my psycho father get what he wanted after all this time. I couldn’t let Sunny ruin my life any longer. I couldn’t let every bad person that I had ever come into contact with that pushed me down and belittled me, win!
I had to fight! I had to win! I had to wake up! I had to be me. I had to wake up for myself!
I tried to focus all my energy into pulling myself from the darkness. I had no idea how to help myself. It seemed the more I tried to get out, the harder it actually was, and the darker everything got.
At that moment, I felt another surge of the Aiden-like warmth go through me. The feeling spread throughout my whole body. It sent another jolt to my heart. This couldn’t be fake, could it? It felt so real. It felt like he was actually touching me. I had to be alive, otherwise, how could my heart be beating like it was?
“Please wake up, we need you here to do the things that only you can do.” I heard the words in Aiden’s voice so clearly.
This wasn’t right, I had to be alive. This had to actually be Aiden. I mean, I had a good imagination, and his voice was etched into my memory, but it wasn’t that good. There was no way that I could be imagining it.
“We all love you please, please, please stay.”
I let myself follow the sound of his voice. I let myself believe in those beautiful words. With much difficulty and hard work, I pried my eyes open with a long fight.
What was waiting there when my eyes opened was my favorite sight in the whole world . . . Aiden.
My beautiful, magnificent, breathtaking Aiden.
His eyes were staring into mine, and they were wide with shock. His deep ocean blue eyes were even better than I had remembered. They swirled with excitement and love. I didn’t care if it was a mirage or if it was a dream. It was the most beautiful sight that I had ever seen. The look in his eyes was amazing, and it completely took my breath away. I didn’t care if I was dead as long as I could see that everyday.
I knew I wasn’t dead, though. I could feel my heart pumping erratically.
“Aubry . . .” he whispered as if he had just seen a ghost.
“A . . . A . . . Aiden,” I said with much difficulty, my throat was protesting my words.
I immediately started crying. I had no idea what was going on, and the fact that he was in front of me made everything seem like a dream. He was supposed to hate me, yet he was there looking at me so lovingly? It made no sense.
He leaned his forehead against mine, and I felt so loved by just him being there. My heart sped up, and the beeping around us quickened.
“Oh . . . oh thank God! I was afraid I lost you.”
His tears and mine mixed together on our cheeks. Why was he crying? I couldn’t figure it out. Without a warning he kissed me all over my face, ending with my lips.
“I love you. I love you so much. I am so sorry!” he said with so much conviction.
It made my heart so full as he said those words. It felt so amazing. I had no idea what happened, but I loved him too . . . so much. I was still shocked as I had no idea what the hell was happening, but I was happy he was there.
Where was I? I tried to move my neck from looking at Aiden to look around and figure out where I was, but I couldn’t move. I was stuck. I tried to move my hands, but nothing moved. Why couldn’t I move?
Aiden had pressed some button and was talking to someone on the intercom, but I wasn’t really paying attention. I couldn’t fucking move. I tried with all my might to move something, anything, but nothing budged.
I was freaking out. What the hell happened to me?! Why couldn’t I move?
“She’s awake! She’s awake!” Aiden said with excitement.
I barely coughed due to my struggles. Instantly, my whole entire body hurt. Everything from my throat to my ribs were on fire. I wanted to scream, but I also didn’t want to alarm Aiden. I didn’t want him to suddenly come to his senses and leave me again.
Aiden came back to me, holding a cup as he put the straw to my lips. “You heard her, small sips,” he said.
While I didn’t actually hear her, I followed his instructions and took a few sips.
I was still so confused. The pain in my body, and the fact that I couldn’t move made me fearful.
I tried to talk, but nothing came out. I cleared my throat and it hurt like crazy, but finally words came out.
“What’s going on? Where am I? And why are you here?” I asked finally. I didn’t know if I actually really wanted to know.
“There’s time for all of that later. You are in the hospital, Aub . . .” he said quietly.
The beeping immediately sped up, I finally figured out that it was my heartbeat.
Hospital?! What the hell was I at the hospital for? I heard the door, but I couldn’t look. It just made me even more nervous.
“Aubry . . .” Doctor Reed said when he came into my view. “Do you remember me from a few months ago?” he asked.
I nodded. “Yes, Doctor Reed, right?”
Everything in my mind seemed so fuzzy though. I remembered, but I was extremely confused. I felt drugged.
“Thank God!” I heard a voice that I knew belonged to Dana.
The beeping sped up again. She was here too?! Then I remembered she worked at the hospital, and it made sense. I was going crazy, obviously. I could barely remember my own family’s details.
“Aubry, you need to calm down. It’s okay, everything is okay.” Doctor Reed said. It did nothing to calm me. I was confused and scared, and I couldn’t move.
Within an instant, Aiden was next to me. He put my hand on his chest. I could feel his heartbeat under my hand.
“Hey, just feel my heartbeat. It’s just us in this room, okay? Ignore everything else, just focus on me,” he whispered softly and pressed his forehead against mine. As long as he was there with me. I was okay.
“I’m here Aubry. I’m here, and you’re okay. I’m not going anywhere until you tell me to,” he whispered softly. The heart monitor calmed down within a few minutes as everyone stared at us.
“Aubry?” This time another Doctor came up to me with a friendly smile. “I’m Doctor Mitchell. It’s nice to meet you.” He paused for a second. “Can you move?” he asked.
I confirmed that I could not.
He asked me to be specific.
“Everything,” I answered with tears in my eyes.
“Okay, I need everyone to leave. I need to do a few things before we go any further,” he stated as the monitor began beeping erratically again.
“No!” I said far too loudly through my tears. My arm instantly moved and latched my hand to Aiden’s. I had no time to acknowledge the fact that my arm moved because I was too caught up in worrying that they were making Aiden leave me.
“I-I, he has to stay! Please?” I said on the verge of another panic attack.
“Of course, he can stay Aubry. Just calm down . . . He’s staying with you,” Dr. Reed said quietly. “Everyone else does need to go, though . . .” de said professionally.
There were others? I didn’t even think about other people being there for me. I had no time to dwell on it, though, because Dr. Mitchell was in front of me again.
“Okay, tell me if you feel anything . . .” He moved out of my line of sight. A few moments passed, and I felt nothing. My eyes filled up with tears again. I was paralyzed, wasn’t I? I was ruined.
“Aubry, calm down. This confirms nothing. A lot of patients feel nothing when they first wake up from a coma,” he said calmly. “This is actually quite normal.”
A coma? What? I was in a coma? How long
? What?
The beeping was incredibly fast at that point.
Suddenly, I felt a prick in my foot and tried to jerk it away. It barely moved a few inches, but it moved.
“Ouch!” I yelled. However, right then, I realized that I felt something and squealed slightly.
“I felt it!” I exclaimed.
Aiden let out a short laugh of relief and kissed my forehead with a smile.
Doctor Mitchell looked extremely relived when he returned. “That’s great Aubry!” He paused and looked at his chart. “Okay, I’m going to order some MRI’s and CT scans. I want to reassure you, though . . . You are not completely paralyzed. You wouldn’t be able to react to that pin poke if you were.”
“Oh! She moved her head while she was unconscious!” Aiden exclaimed loudly and then looked around embarrassed. I looked at him with my eyebrows raised.
“Sorry, I just realized that . . . I mean, that means at least she can move her neck, right?”
“Right!” Doctor Mitchell said with a broad smile. “I’m not sure of the complete extent of your injuries yet, but you’re in better shape than expected.” He smiled at me. “You’re going to be okay, Aubry. This difficulty with moving happens with a lot of patients. Don’t freak out, it’s not good for recovery.”
I sighed in relief. “Doctor Reed is going to complete your head evals. Are you in pain?” he asked quickly.
“Yes,” I answered immediately with no hesitation.
“On a scale of one to ten . . .” I lost track of his words as everything around him seemed to be moving. I blinked several times and squinted. Soon, I realized everyone was waiting for me to say something.
“I’m sorry, I lost track of the question . . . What was it again?” I whispered, embarrassed.
Aiden squeezed my hand and smiled reassuringly at me
He repeated himself, “Um . . . I don’t know, an eight. Maybe a nine . . .” I said, trying not to sound like a baby. I was also trying not to focus on anything too hard, everything seemed blurry and moving.
“Okay, after Doctor Reed evaluates you, we’ll get you some medications,” Doctor Mitchell said.
“How is your vision?” Was Doctor Reed’s first question.
I frowned. How did he know? “A little blurry and fuzzy. It kind of looks like the background is moving around. Like . . . I can see you, but everything behind you is moving,” I answered honestly.
“Okay . . .” he said and wrote in his note pad. “Obvious confusion,” he stated calmly. He took a breath and looked at me. “What is the last thing you remember before the coma?” he asked, focusing on me.
I closed my eyes and my whole face screwed up. I was trying to remember, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it.
“It’s okay, take your time,” he encouraged.
I took a deep breath and really tried to remember. “The last thing I can remember is Aiden staring at me at the Undergro—” I cut myself off, and my eyes flickered to Dana, who was checking my vitals.
“It’s okay, I already know. Which by the way . . . when you get better, we’re all going to be having a long discussion,” Dana said, narrowing her eyes at me and her son.
“Okay, so that’s not too bad. That right before . . .” Aiden said and then stopped talking abruptly.
“Before what?” I asked, obviously intrigued.
“We actually like to see if you can remember that for yourself before someone explains to you, okay? Give yourself twenty-four hours to remember. If you don’t remember, then Aiden can tell you what happened,” Doctor Reed explained.
I grunted but agreed.
He continued on with endless questions. With each question, the more tired I got, the more pain I was in as well.
Finally, after a thousand questions, I got some pain medicine in my IV. I instantly felt the pain relief, and the airy feeling in my head. I felt so drained, but so much better.
“Aubry, I’m extremely happy you woke up.” Doctor Reed smiled at me. “They’ll be here for your tests in a bit. Get some sleep, okay? I know you feel like you just woke up, but rest is extremely important right now,” he said and walked out of the room.
“I am so happy that you are awake! I was afraid that I was going to lose one of my babies,” Dana said with a small smile. “I’ll be back to check on you later.” She kissed my cheek and left us alone.
Aiden breathed out a sigh of relief and grasped my hand firmly as he sat down. He kissed the back of my hand as he held it and murmured sweet nothings.
“Aiden . . . W-What are you doing here?” I slurred a bit, feeling a little drunk.
“I’m here because I love you, Aubry,” he said casually.
“B-But, but you, Y—” he cut me off.
“I was wrong,” he said simply. “I was so wrong, Aubry. I almost lost you because I was an idiot. I mean, yes, I had already planned on talking to you but then . . . ” He breathed deeply. “I am here now. I just hope that you can forgive me.”
I tried to speak, but I could barely keep my eyes open.
“Aubry, I love you. Just go to sleep. I’ll be here when you wake, okay? Everything is going to be okay,” he said, as he ran a hand through my hair.
I couldn’t keep my eyes open, but I still had so many questions. “B-B . . .” I tried, but Aiden put a finger on my lips.
“Sleep, Aub. I’ll be here when you wake. We can talk then,” he demanded.
I quickly fell dead asleep even though I had been unconscious for days. Still, I was comforted in knowing that Aiden would be there for me.
Chapter Fifty-Nine
Forgive Yourself
Aiden
I sat by her bed in constant vigil. She had woken up from her coma, but the intense pain meds that she was on had kept her asleep for a long time. They were trying to get the dosing right, but it had been rough. When she fell asleep, I hadn’t expected her to be mostly asleep for two days straight. It made me overly worried for her.
It was when the heartbeat monitor began beeping like crazy that my anxiety over her went haywire. Her heart rate was up so high, and her breathing was so shallow. I looked from the monitor to her, and tears were leaking from her eyes in a steady stream.
I immediately kneeled down next to her to meet her at eye level. I gently shook her to try to wake her up. However, she didn’t budge.
“Aubry, wake up . . . It’s a dream. Wake up!” I shook her again.
A loud ear-piercing scream left her mouth. The scream had so much anguish behind it that I had to hold back tears myself. A loud sob escaped her lips a second later. She was hurting.
I got up and sat on the bed next to her. I gently placed my hand on her cheek and rubbed it slightly.
“Aubry, love, wake up!” I cried out loudly.
She still didn’t budge. The heart rate monitor was still beeping extremely fast. Another scream pierced the air.
The door slammed opened, but I didn’t even look to see who it was. I was solely focused on Aubry.
“Aubry . . . Baby, please wake up. Wake up, it’s just a dream. I’m here, just wake up!” I said as cradled her to my chest. Aubry was sobbing into my chest, but she was still not awake.
“Bee, wake up!” I heard Kelsey say from the other side of the bed. She ran her fingers through Aubry’s dark hair soothingly. I was glad that she knew that the best way to get her up was by soothing her.
I could hear slight murmurs from behind me, but I ignored it all. My attention was focused on Aubry, only on Aubry.
Aubry stirred slightly, but she seemed to still be asleep. I took her face away from my chest and stared at it. Her eyes were trying to open, but she was obviously having troubles.
“K-Kels—” she mumbled slightly only to be cut off by another scream.
I lowered my head and kissed her cheeks right under her eyes. Her salty tears touched my lips, but I continued placing small kisses all around her face.
“A-Aiden?” she asked, but she still seemed dazed.
“Wake u
p, my Aubry. You’re okay. We won’t let anyone get to you. I’m here,” I whispered into her ear and rocked her slightly.
After a split-second, I felt her hand fist my shirt. She buried her face into my neck, and her breathing deepened. I could feel her warm tears falling down my neck and getting soaked up by my shirt. A few sobs escaped her mouth, but the heart rate machine started dying down.
I kissed the top of her head a few times as I cradled her gently into me trying to give her the comfort that she needed.
A few moments later, I brought her away from my neck and stared down at her face.
“Are you okay?” I asked cautiously.
“I-It was awful Aiden . . . I, I dreamed about Ronnie and D-Dan—” She cut herself off and began crying again. She sobbed, and I brought her back to my body in a protective hug.
Through the tears and through her sobs I heard her come to a realization. “Oh-oh my God, it was them wasn’t it? It . . . It wasn’t a dream. They did this to me! They left me for dead, didn’t they?!”
I squeezed my eyes shut as I looked back at her face. I was going to tell her everything, but she cut me off with a whimper.
“They, the . . .” She paused and cleared her throat. “They r-raped me, didn’t they? They beat me until I was unconscious and raped me.” She began crying so hard that she could barely even breathe. “I’m used. I’ve been used up and completely broken. They broke me even more. They took what little bit of fight I had left away from me. They took the tiny bit of dignity and spirt I had left! Not even Sunny did that! Not even he took that last little bit away. I should have just died!” she said, but I shut her up with a gentle kiss on her lips.
She froze under my lips, and I pulled back shortly.
“Shut up, Aubry! Don’t talk about yourself like that! You’re not broken. You’re unwavering and resilient. You are fierce and so strong. No one can take those traits away from you, except you. Aubry, don’t let them win! They wanted to break you and tear you down. Show them how much of fighter you really are! Aub, they didn’t get to you like that. They didn’t get a chance to rape you. We got there before they could take it that far. I should have killed the both of them!”
Fighting For Life Page 70