Jez and Lara were standing in front of the shop as Dad pulled up outside. The last time I’d looked at this door was that night. The night that changed everything for Elodie and me. If I’d known then what I knew now, I would have done exactly the same thing. I had no regrets about that night. Nothing I wished I would have done differently—apart from not leaving in the first place.
The front door was covered with plywood where it had been smashed, and even though I knew I should have stayed here to fix it up and make sure everything was in order, I couldn’t. Elodie needed me more than anyone else right then, and I wasn’t prepared to walk away and let her deal with it alone. I would be by her side every step of the way. Helping as much as she’d let me.
“You’re making the right choice, son,” Dad said as he turned the engine off.
I turned my head to face him, my stomach churning. I didn’t want to leave Elodie this morning, but I had to make sure we could go away for as long as we needed to. And Dad hadn’t hesitated to hand me the key to the lake house. “I know, I just…” I scrubbed my hand over my face. “I should be making sure this is fixed and—”
“I’ll make sure it gets fixed. I’ll come here every day if I need to.” He tilted his head to the side. “Only once in your lifetime will a single person come into your life and change the way you see everything. A person who will have you questioning anything you’ve ever done. A person who makes you feel whole. A person who has you grinning just at the thought of them. Someone who you can’t see yourself living without.” He paused. “When that person comes into your life, you hold on to them as tight as you damn well can and never let go—no matter what faces you. You hear me, son? Never let it go.”
I nodded, understanding what he was saying. He hadn’t let Mom go when she’d come into his life. He hadn’t let anything get in the way of them being together. He’d sacrificed what he thought he should have been to become the man he was today. Not only did I admire him for the strength that took, but I understood it now. I understood why he risked everything to follow his heart.
He knew without me having to say a single word that Elodie was that for me. So, if it meant I had to take months away from the business I’d built, then I’d do it without a second thought. It was all for her, everything would be for her.
“I hear you.” My gaze didn’t move off his, and I opened my mouth, about to thank him for everything he and Mom were doing, but knocking at my window interrupted me. I turned my head, my gaze clashing with Lara’s, and huffed out a breath. “Let’s get this over with,” I ground out, pushing out of the car. I wasn’t sure how much Jez and Lara knew, but from the somber looks on their faces, I was guessing most of it.
“How is she?” Lara asked, and I wasn’t sure how to answer her because I didn’t really know how Elodie was. She’d blown hot, cold, scared, and fine, but I knew deep down she was putting on a front. She was trying to be how she normally was. She was pretending. And for right now, I let her think I believed her act. As soon as we were away from here, she’d be able to deal with it properly—I hoped.
“As good as she can be.” I moved toward the door and unlocked it. “I made some calls on the way here. New door will be fitted on Friday.” I stepped inside, not sure what I was going to find. The police had only handed it back yesterday once I’d gotten bail, but I should have known it would be ransacked. Tattoo ink was spilled over several surfaces, our machines pulled out, and chairs on their sides. They had no reason to search down here, but they had anyway, and I had no doubt it was because of who Knox’s dad was.
“Motherfuckers,” Dad gritted out, and I nodded in agreement.
“It’s okay, we’ll clean it up in no time,” Jez said, but his deep tone spoke of how pissed off he was. It wasn’t just my equipment kept in the shop, but his and Lara’s too.
I pushed my hand through my hair and gripped on to it as I glanced around. The large mirror where our clients checked out their tattoos had been unscrewed, and several of our drawings had been torn off the walls. I couldn’t deal with this right now. “I’m going away,” I blurted out. I flicked my gaze to Lara and then Jez. “Elodie needs to get away from here for a bit and…she needs me. I need to be there and—”
“Ain’t gotta say another word, Ash,” Lara interrupted. “She needs you more. Tell us what needs doing here and we’ll get it done.”
“I’ll…make a list.” I blew out a breath, not knowing where to start. I had no doubt Elodie’s apartment would be in even worse condition, but I couldn’t worry about it right then, I just needed to get her some things and get back to her. The quicker I was, the sooner we could get out on the road. “I need to head up…” I left the words hanging in the air as I made my way to the back of the store and to the bottom of the stairs which led up to Elodie’s apartment.
I promised her she’d be safe here. I’d let her believe nothing could get her. But she’d been a moving target. I’d turned my back for a second and he’d pounced. Fuck. How could someone do this? How could they want to hurt someone so bad that they’d hurt them so much?
I didn’t understand it. I’d never understand it.
“I’m gonna help them start to clear up,” Dad said from behind me, but I didn’t turn to look at him. My gaze was firmly planted on the half-open door at the top of the stairs. They hadn’t even closed it behind them.
“I’ll get some of Elodie’s things and then we can go.”
“Okay, son. Take your time.”
I didn’t want to take my time, I wanted to be in and out of there as soon as I could, but my feet weren’t working at their normal pace. My body felt heavier and heavier as I took each step, and when I finally made it to the top, all I could see was what I had four nights ago. Knox on top of Elodie. Knox taking the last thing she held. Knox ripping her apart in more ways than one.
Blood stained several areas of the floor, and I knew without a doubt which one was Knox’s and which one was Elodie’s. I stared at both stains for several seconds, then finally moved on to the bedroom. It was the only place which looked like it hadn’t been touched. I wasn’t sure how I felt about going through Elodie’s things. I was invading her privacy, but I wasn’t going to let her come here and pack everything up. We only needed the necessities, but as I opened up the drawers, I realized she didn’t own much.
I packed up the few clothes she had, including her dance wear, and moved to the bathroom to get her toiletries, and before I knew it, I was heading back through the living room.
“I called Ford,” a voice said, and I whipped my head around to the kitchen. Dad stood there, his arms folded across his chest, and his lips in a straight line. If that wasn’t enough to tell me he wasn’t happy, then the gruff tone of his voice surely was. “He’s gonna find out who did the search and why.”
I snorted. “We all know why, Dad.” I moved past the first stain and halted next to the second one—the one that was smaller, the one Elodie had caused.
“Yeah, we do.” I heard Dad’s footsteps near. “But the motherfucker has no idea who he’s dealing with. His dad may be a judge, but he doesn’t have half of the damn connections I have.” I heard the threat loud and clear, and although I’d never seen this side of my dad, I’d heard stories of it. He may have been in his early seventies, but he was as much of a badass as he was when he was forty. I wasn’t in this alone. Elodie wasn’t in this alone. It was clear we had people on our side, but I wasn’t sure whether it would help. I had to go back to court in six months, and more importantly, I had to help Elodie deal with everything.
“I need to get out of here,” I croaked out, not able to tear my gaze away from the stain. It’d never come out, no matter what we did to it.
“We’ll fix it up, son.”
I shook my head. “I’m not even sure I want to fix it up.” My stomach churned, and the nerves that had appeared as we left the driveway of my parents’ house hadn’t let up. I didn’t want to be here. I wasn’t sure if I ever wanted to be here again.
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“Take some time and think it over,” my dad said, almost as if he could read my mind. I’d spent years building up my clientele, and I wasn’t sure if they’d follow me if I moved to a different part of town. But at this point, the thought of staying in the building had my stomach churning. Dad’s hand clasped my shoulder and squeezed. “Come on, let’s get you out of here.”
I blew out a breath. “I need to help clean up and—”
“I’ll help them, and then I’ll get Leo and Cade to come over tomorrow. We’ll get it back to how it was, son. Then you can go from there.” I glanced at him and felt like the little boy who’d just fallen off his bike after taking his training wheels off. “You look after Elodie, and we’ll take care of everything else.”
“Dad—”
“Don’t need to say anything. All you need to do is get in your car, go home, and get your own things.” He raised his brow, waiting for me, and I finally nodded. “I’ll meet you back home in an hour.”
I didn’t wait for him to say another word as I walked out of the apartment and back downstairs. I could hear Lara and Jez talking, but I couldn’t bring myself to go back into the main part where they were. I was considering closing the shop down and moving somewhere else. I had no idea if they would come with me or not. This wasn’t just my livelihood but theirs too.
I took a step toward the back door, knowing my car had been moved there. I’d left it parked on an angle in front of the shop that night, but my dad had come and moved it around back while I was in jail. In jail. I couldn’t believe I was having that thought. My entire life I’d tried to always do the right thing. I’d trained in MMA. I’d fought each of my fights fairly. I’d been to war for my country. I’d never questioned an order. I’d watched the people I cared about die. Yet, it was that singular thought that had me stumbling out the back door and toward my car.
This was never in my plan. I was meant to make a name for myself as a tattoo artist. I was meant to find a nice girl and live happily ever after. That was what the fairy tales spoke of, right? But I somehow always knew my life wouldn’t be plain sailing. I was pushing everything down and dealing with what was in front of me right at that moment. It didn’t matter that the slamming of the car door had me jumping. It didn’t matter that the roar of my engine caused my hands to shake.
Getting into a vehicle was something everyone did without a second thought. But I had to prepare myself each and every time. I had to put on a front and act like I was okay—that I hadn’t been inside a Humvee that drove over an IED. That I hadn’t been flung out of the metal box which was meant to keep us safe.
All I was focused on was making sure Elodie was okay, but in the process, I was realizing I still wasn’t okay. Most nights I was haunted by memories. Every day I was on alert and hyperaware of my surroundings. Which was why I blamed myself for what happened to Elodie. I should have known someone was lurking around. I should have known Knox wouldn’t let it lie. I should have known he was going to make a move. But instead, I’d been concentrating on helping Jax out with Al. I was trying to support other people, and in the process, the one person who I cared about most was hurt.
I gripped the steering wheel tighter and reversed out of the space, then drove around the front and on to the road. The drive back to my house whizzed by, and I worked on automatic as I went inside to pack up some things. I was in a haze, stuck inside my own memories, but now they were mixing in with memories of Elodie.
Inhaling a deep breath, I tried to center myself as I pulled in to the road Mom and Dad’s house was on. I’d only been gone just over an hour, but it already felt like a lifetime. I was on edge to get back to Elodie and felt like I had a clock ticking away, trying to hurry me to get us away from here.
I parked in the driveway and left our bags in the car as I exited. All I needed was to get Elodie in the car and then we could leave. We could be on the road and at the lake house by mid-afternoon.
The house was silent as I entered it, and a quick look in the living room and kitchen told me both Mom and Elodie were upstairs. I took the stairs two at a time and called, “Mom? Where are you?” I heard murmurings coming from the bathroom, so moved toward it. “Elodie? You in there?” I lifted my hand and knocked on the door, frowning at the silence. “Mom?”
“We’re in here, Asher,” Mom replied.
I grasped the door handle and started to turn it. “I’m coming in.”
“No!” I halted at Elodie’s voice, my stomach churning even more than it already had been.
“He’s not going to hurt you,” I heard Mom say, and I felt the blood drain from my face. Was she scared of me? Had I done something to—
“I’m going to open the door, Elodie,” Mom continued.
Silence rang through the air, and then the door opened, and I stumbled forward. I wasn’t sure what to look at or what to say, so I kept my mouth shut and my attention on my mom’s face. I hadn’t seen her look so sad since Belle had gotten hurt all those years ago.
“Mom,” I whispered, scared to talk too loudly. “I…what…”
“She needs you.” Mom placed her hand on my chest and over my racing heart. “She doesn’t know it yet, but she needs you more than she knows.” She pulled in a breath and handed me a towel, her gaze lighting with fire. “Go to her.”
I hesitated as Mom stepped back, but as soon as my gaze landed on Elodie’s face, I knew what I had to do. “Elodie?”
She shook her head and pulled her knees up to her chest. Her wet hair flattened against the side of her head and her chattering teeth caused her words to be muffled. “No, please don’t.”
“It’s me, sweetheart.” I took a couple of steps forward. “Look at me, Elodie.” She shook her head, refusing, but I wasn’t going to let her. It was too easy to hide away. Too simple to pretend nothing bad was happening. “Look at me,” I repeated, and that time, she lifted her head. “That’s it.” I leaned over and turned the water off. “It’s only me.”
Her gaze drifted over my face and down my body, then landed on the towel in my hand. “I can’t,” she sobbed out. “I can’t do it, Asher.”
“You can.” I leaned into the shower and held my hand out to her for a second time that day. “You’re one of the strongest people I know.”
“I’m not.”
“You are.” I glanced at my hand, then back to her. “You know what to do, sweetheart.”
Her throat bobbed as she swallowed, and I could see the hesitation on her face. She was at war in her own mind, but only she chose who won. She needed time and space to work through it all, but she needed to understand that I was going to be right there with her every step of the way.
“I…” She blinked several times, almost as if she was trying to clear things from her mind. “I don’t want you to see.”
I frowned. “See what?”
“What he did.” She hiccupped a sob and a lone tear trailed down her face. “I hate it. I hate him. I…I hate me.”
I stepped into the shower and crouched down in front of her, making sure she heard each word as I said, “All I see is Elodie.” I lifted the corner of my lips into a small smile. “I see the girl who fights every day of her life. The girl who lived in a trailer. The girl who got out onto the stage most nights so she could get to where she wanted to be.” I inhaled a breath. “I see the girl who I fell for from the moment I set eyes on her.”
“Asher—”
“I see you, sweetheart. I see the other half of me.” Her hand connected with mine, and I wrapped my fingers around it. “I see the person who changes how I see the world.”
Chapter Six
ELODIE
His eyes swirled with intensity as he helped me up. So much was said in the silence, things that couldn’t be verbalized out loud, not yet anyway. Logically, I knew things couldn’t be fixed overnight, but that didn’t mean I didn’t wish it. I’d broken down again. I’d let the memory of the trauma take over. I’d let it have control, and I hated every second of it.
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Asher didn’t look away as he wrapped the towel around my body, covering the marks on my skin. I flinched, which caused him to wince. He could see the pain in my eyes—he could sense it in me, just like I could in him. We hadn’t talked properly, not since everything happened, but the realization that I was going to be alone with him for a length of time calmed me somewhat. Maybe this was meant to happen? Maybe the bad had to occur for me to feel the good? Or maybe I was just unlucky. But as I felt Asher’s hand gripping mine to help me out of the shower, I knew it wasn’t the case. With him in my life, I wasn’t sure I could call it anything but luck.
“I got your things in the car,” he murmured as he led me past Lola, who was waiting near the bathroom door, and back into his bedroom. I wanted to open my mouth and say something—anything—but it was too much. He’d been back to my apartment. He’d faced the place that was now the epicenter of all of my nightmares. Did he relive it? Were there signs still left of what happened? All the thoughts ran through my head as fast as a cheetah running through the African plains. My breaths started to come quicker, the panic returning. I had to get control over myself. I couldn’t let it pull me under any more than it already had.
Asher halted in the middle of the room, looked at something over my shoulder, then back to my face. “I’ll go get you some clothes—”
“No.” I gripped on to his hand tighter, hating that I didn’t want to let go. “Don’t leave me,” I whispered, feeling my bottom lip start to wobble. I couldn’t cry, not again, because once it started, it never seemed to stop.
“Okay.” His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed. “I’ll erm…I—”
“Get one of your old T-shirts,” Lola said from behind me, but I didn’t turn to face her. I had to keep my attention focused solely on Asher. He was my rock—the one person I knew I could rely on. “I’ll grab a pair of leggings from my closet.”
“Thanks, Mom.”
Her footsteps moved away from Asher’s bedroom, and my heart sped up. My emotions were all over the place, but more than that, I was tired. So tired I felt like I could sleep for a week. I wasn’t sure how to act—how to be—but I knew I couldn’t let go of Asher’s hand, not yet. I felt like if he let go, I’d drift away and not be able to find my way back.
Deep Burn: (Asher & Elodie: Easton Family Saga) (Burned Duet Book 2) Page 7