by Voss, Deja
“How ya feeling?” I ask.
“Like shit,” he whines. “I can’t get more medicine for another hour, either. This place sucks.”
I just shrug.
“What the fuck even happened?”
“I don’t know. I saw a deer and swerved.”
I’m thumbing the baggie in my pocket, trying not to say anything, but I feel like he needs called out.
“You sure you weren’t nodding?”
“What do you care?”
“Goob, we all care. You gotta stop this shit. Look where you are.”
“Well, Dad says I’m getting out of here tonight.”
“Then what?” I ask. “You can’t even fucking walk, dude.”
“Hey, don’t worry about it. I’ll figure something out. I wouldn’t want to inconvenience your life with my neediness again,” he says dramatically. The truth is, he has always been an inconvenience in my life, but it’s one that I’ve chosen. When I brought him back to the clubhouse when he was just ten years old, I happily took on that responsibility. He’s a grown man now, though.
“Good.”
Heat stands up and pulls me aside.
“Why don’t you get out of here for a little bit? You’re looking pretty rough, man.”
I’m feeling pretty awful. Being cooped up in this room would drive me insane. I can understand why Goob is so excited to get out.
“You sure? I’ll just go to camp and take a shower and chill for a little bit.”
“Take your time. We’re fine. I’ll call you if anything changes,” he says.
“You guys behave. Anything Doctor Sullivan says, you do without asking questions. I mean it.”
“Your dad warned me about her. Said she was a real ballbuster,” Heat says in a low whisper.
“She’s not. She’s good people. Don’t fuck this up for me,” I bark.
It’s as if a lightning bolt just hit him over the head. He smiles from ear to ear.
“The elusive one?”
“Shit,” I mutter. Considering I haven’t so much as looked at another girl since meeting her, it’s not too hard to put two and two together, but I was hoping I could be more discreet. As soon as word gets out, I know these guys will do their best to make my life a living hell, recounting all sorts of embarrassing stories about me to her. “Keep it on the low. I’m not trying to fuck with her job or anything.”
“Just with her everything else?” he laughs.
“You know me too well,” I say. I pull him in for a hug. “Thanks for looking out.”
I am quick to get the hell out of this place. The concrete floors and hiss of the fluorescent lights overhead make my skin crawl. I can’t help but peek around every corner, look in every room, trying to catch her out of the corner of my eye.
It doesn’t matter.
I have her number.
I need to go get my mind right, and then she gets my undivided attention in every possible way.
* * *
I peel out of the hospital parking lot, the morning sun beating down, but the chill in the air rattling through my sore bones.
I need a bed that’s not a chair.
I need a long nap.
I need a shower.
I need to think.
Usually a long ride is the best cure for anything that ails me, but I don’t have it in me right now to be on high alert, so I’m going to have to settle for the next best place besides the mountain. I turn off the highway down the long dirt road. The hideout. The little one-bedroom camp nestled on the edge of town. Twelve acres, no neighbors; it’s the closest thing to home I can get down here. I can be at the hospital in less than fifteen minutes, and I can at least avoid the chaos that is my father for a few hours.
I pull into the driveway. Only the screen door is closed. Cautiously, I park, shut my engine off. I feel for my gun in my waistband. There’s only three people who have keys to this spot.
Goob.
Myself.
And Dad makes three.
I kick open the door, armed and ready to go.
There on the couch she sits, wearing nothing but a smile. Morgan, the bleached blonde dirty birdie who just never seems to fly off, no matter how many times she gets rejected.
“Well, I wasn’t expecting you, Gav,” she calls. “This sure makes things interesting. I know you’re a kinky fucker, but this is a new level of low even for you.”
“What the fuck are you doing here?”
“Oh, Goob and I were playing house. But I haven’t seen him since yesterday.”
“He’s in the hospital.”
“Oh no.” Her face grows sad. “Is he ok?”
“He’ll be fine. But you gotta go.”
They’re all the same, the dirty birdies. They don’t care who they’re banging as long as it gets them one step closer to being an old lady. Morgan was an ok chick, and I’ll admit we’d hooked up a couple times, but that was usually after a bottle of whiskey and nowhere else to stick it.
“You look stressed, Gav,” she whines. “Why don’t you let me help you relax?” She gets up from the couch, standing before me fully nude. She has big fake tits and she’s pressing them into my chest, trying to kiss me.
“Seriously, Morgan, enough,” I bark.
“You don’t mean that,” she says, dragging her hand up my thigh, reaching for my cock. Just because I have a boner doesn’t mean I’m going to put it in her. At this moment, I’m actually fairly disgusted with the situation as a whole.
I grab her by the wrist and pull her away.
“Get your shit,” I growl, “And get out.”
“You used to be so fun, Gav,” she squeals.
“I’m calling you a car. Get dressed and start walking.”
She huffs and puffs as she pulls on her green sundress and flip flops and I hold the door open for her.
I wince as it slams behind me. Finally, silence.
I lock the big wooden door behind me and sprawl out on the bed. I’m too exhausted to strip. I just need an hour or two of sleep.
My erection is pulsing hard in my jeans. She was right, I couldn’t relax.
I think about her lips circling my cock.
Repulsive.
I think about her bent over, soaking wet, ready to take me in.
Disgusting.
I think about her doing the same things with my brother all over this bed I’m laying in. If I wasn’t so beat, I’d throw the blankets in the fireplace right now.
My mind goes somewhere else. Somewhere different than the life I’m used to. Somewhere that’s stressing me out more than I thought it would.
Sloan.
Seeing her tangling herself up in this mess that my club is so good at making makes me want to push her as far away as possible. She doesn’t need to be dragged through hell with me and the boys, and I am too far gone for her to save my soul from that life.
Everything about her gets me so excited. It’s not just her body, her hair, her looks, or those big beautiful eyes.
I don’t know what it is, but there’s something dark buried in that healing light she casts on everyone. I don’t want to be the one that drags it out of her, but I don’t know if I can help myself.
Maybe Olive is right. I need to just leave her alone, forget about her, find myself a dirty birdie to spend my days with.
I close my eyes and sprawl out on the comforter.
As much as I try to fight it, my dick is begging to escape from the confines of my pants, thinking about Sloan’s body pressed against mine, taking her, marking her, making her mine.
Maybe I should call her.
My phone rings from the nightstand and, for a second, I get a little excited, until I realize it’s my father.
“What do you want, Dad?” I ask. I don’t feel like running errands for him today.
“We’re taking him home tonight; midnight. Should be about shift change. Clutch is bringing the truck.”
I get where he’s coming from. Every time we leave that
mountain we put ourselves at a risk to be busted by the cops or stuck in the middle of a rivalry situation. The fact that one of Moses Boden’s true sons is laying in a hospital bed puts a huge target on his back for anyone looking for revenge for any of our previous indiscretions.
I know what Sloan said, that he could leave on his own accord, but I don’t know if she meant it, or if she was just scared of my dad. I don’t want her to get in any trouble.
“You think you can keep the lady out of this shit? I have a bad feeling about that one.”
“Who?” I ask, playing dumb.
“Just make sure she’s distracted. Take her in the woods and tie her to a tree for all I care. I just don’t want her nosing around in our shit anymore.”
Under any other circumstance, that would probably get me hard. Watching her gorgeous body writhe as I tease her all over with my hands and my mouth. But not right now.
I know it’s for her own good.
And I know it’s for Goob’s own good.
The prospect of getting her alone, separate from her world, separate from my world, is exciting, even if it’s under the wrong pretenses.
“I’m on it,” I say.
I lean back and let myself drift off to sleep.
Chapter 7
Sloan
Most of my days at the hospital, I play a waiting game.
As a trauma surgeon in training, I oversee the rehab and recovery plans created for the patient after performing surgery, but there is also a lot of down time and paperwork. Today, I’m using that as an excuse to hide in the office with my head on the desk.
I couldn’t sleep for shit last night, and even underneath the assault of an ice-cold shower I couldn’t escape thoughts of him. I checked my phone obsessively, hoping that maybe he would want to sneak away from the hospital and slip into my bedroom.
It’s selfish of me, but family isn’t something I understand like a normal person.
Even though I told Dr. Peterman I wanted to be pulled off Hank’s case, I’m dying to go to his room and see what’s going on. More like dying to see that mountain of a man again.
As I turn the corner of the hallway, I notice two men sitting outside the door. They look like bodyguards, big, ripped, tatted and scary. Dressed in their leather cuts, they’re definitely here to send a message.
“Hey, guys,” I say, pretending like their presence is a normal everyday occurrence. “How’s he doing today?”
“Ugly, whiny, and high on pain medication,” one laughs. “So pretty much normal.”
I extend my hand to him. “Dr. Sullivan.”
His eyes get wide and I look at him, confused.
“You’re the lady doctor.”
“Sure.” I shrug. “And who are you?”
They both stand up, and the one who was doing the talking wraps his arms around me, giving me a giant bear hug.
“I’m Tank and this is Red. It’s really nice to meet you.”
Red shakes my hand. “Thanks for fixing the idiot.”
“I’m gonna go in there now and check on him, ok?” I ask. I really don’t care what their response is. They’re big teddy bears, and apparently, I’ve earned myself a reputation. I’m cracking up inside, wondering what Gavin told them to keep them on good behavior.
The room is like a three-ring circus.
Bikers everywhere, laughing, yelling, and I think someone is standing in the corner drinking a beer. I don’t even think about what I’m seeing, because I’m only looking for one thing.
Well, one person.
And he’s not even there.
I march over to Hank’s bedside, where he lays there half awake.
By this time, the room has quieted and I feel like there’s a million eyes on me.
“Hi, Hank,” I say, studying the stitches running down the side of his arm. “How ya feeling today?”
“I know you.” He smiles, batting his long blond eyelashes. “You’re the girl who was kissing on my brother last night.”
I should be mortified, but I decide to roll with it. Obviously, word travels fast in this gang.
“Anybody got a spare pillow I can use to smother him?”
The men start laughing, and as they go around introducing themselves, I’m torn. On one hand, this is totally outside of healthy hospital protocol, but on the other, it’s kind of heartwarming to see a clan banded together in their brother’s time of need.
“I saw you with my own two eyes,” Hank says. “I just pretended like I was out in case things started getting pornographic. I was gonna put that in my bank for later.”
“Well, this is the part where I pretend like I have no idea what you’re talking about and tell you that you were hallucinating. It’s a very common side effect from anesthesia actually.”
Just then, a skinny little blonde in a bright green, low-cut sundress comes storming through the door. I can’t help but notice her boobs straining against the fabric, barely contained by the flimsy layer of spandex.
“Goob!” she wails, running to his bed, planting kisses all over his face. “What happened, baby?”
“Morgan, what the hell are you doing here?” an older gentleman who had introduced himself to me as Heat hisses at her.
“Well, I was at camp with Gavin, if you must know. He tried to get me to stay, but when he told me about poor Goob, I couldn’t live with myself knowing he was here all by himself.”
I don’t know how to read this chick. I’m obviously jealous, but by her over-the-top histrionics, I’m fairly certain there’s more to the story than what she’s saying. Plus, what’s it my business anyway? For all I know, he’s got a wife and kids and I’m just another sucker like this bleached bimbo who’s now straddling Hank.
“Ma’am,” I say to her, “you probably shouldn’t be doing that. His ribs are broken.”
“My dick is still intact though, right, Doc? You saw it, didn’t you?” he laughs.
I’m absolutely repulsed but I can’t look away from this train wreck. I need to get out before I get sucked into this bizarre vortex.
“I did see it.” I shrug.
“And?”
“I was slightly underwhelmed.”
Everyone cracks up, except for Morgan, who is shooting lasers from her eyes at me.
“Only slightly, right?” Hank pleads.
“I’m glad to see you’re feeling well today, but I have to go do my rounds. It was nice meeting you all.”
And with that, I make my exit.
I have no idea why, but I can’t stop smiling.
My phone vibrates in my pocket and I pull it out to check my text messages.
My smile gets even wider when I realize who it is.
Gavin: What time u done?
As much as I want to tell him RIGHT NOW COME GET ME PLEASE! I have a small bone to pick.
Sloan: What about your girlfriend?
Gavin: ???
Sloan: Bleach blonde, big fake boobs.
Gavin: Be more specific?
I text him back a middle finger emoji.
Sloan: 8:30 if everything goes as planned. I’ll let you know if anything changes.
I have a feeling I’m going to spend the next eight hours of the day a nervous wreck. I never hope for a tragedy to strike, but I need something to keep my mind off the fact that tonight I’m going to have him all to myself for the first time.
No epic distractions.
No friends or family or coworkers busting in, ripping us apart.
Of course I’m turned on.
But part of me is terrified. I’ve been continually saved by the bell, saved from revealing my dark past. When this was looking like nothing more than a one-night stand, that wasn’t a problem, but now, here, I feel like the tables have turned.
I’m gonna have to be on high alert.
“Sloan!” Doctor Peterman yells, chasing me down the hall. “You ready to scrub up?”
Back to reality.
Back to my center, my core, my very being. My ice chamb
er of solace. Time to sew somebody back together again.
Chapter 8
Gavin:
“How’s the kid?” I ask Heat on the phone as I sit on the back porch of the log cabin camp. I called our maid in to get the place ready for tonight and she’s inside, washing the sheets and scrubbing the hardwood floors. I’m sure Sloan already knows we’re a bunch of scumbags, but I don’t want her to think we’re dirty too.
I guess I could do it myself, but Eunice has been with us for as long as I can remember, and she appreciates the extra work. Her old man is a longtime member of the club, and she uses housekeeping around the clubhouse as an excuse to keep an eye on him. It’s also partially because he has a gambling addiction like nobody I’ve ever known, and I could probably pay her in scratch-off tickets and save her the step.
“He’s doing good. Irritating the shit out of everyone, but otherwise, we’re good here.”
“How’s the girl?”
“Who, Morgan? She’s about as skanky as ever.”
“You know who I mean,” I say.
“I know exactly who you mean. She’s awesome, Gavin. You really lucked out there.”
“Don’t get ahead of yourself,” I say. “It’s not a done deal yet.”
I watch as a chipmunk scurries across the lawn, cheeks pudgy with acorns. It’s a perfect September afternoon, but everything is getting ready to shut down for the winter. Soon we’ll be putting the bikes away. It would be nice to have a good girl to cozy up with for the winter. But that’s not up to me.
“Oh come on,” he teases. “She fits right in. She’s already seen your brother’s dick, just like every other lady you guys pass around.”
“She’s not like that, Heat.”
“I know, son. She’s grade A. So don’t fuck it up.”
Easier said than done.
“Dad says you guys are taking him home tonight?” I ask.
“Yeah. I don’t exactly know how I feel about it. Goob’s a real shit show. He needs to hit rock bottom and get himself better, and nobody is letting him do that. We just keep making excuses for him and letting him do whatever he wants. I think we’re doing a good job of wearing out our welcome here at the hospital, though.”