by Voss, Deja
I follow her back into the bedroom and watch her as she gets dressed.
“What are you doing?” I ask. She grabs her purse from the hook on the wall and slips on a pair of flip-flops.
“I’m going to Esther’s.”
“Just like that? You don’t have to go. You can stay here. You can talk to me, it’s ok, Ollie. I get it. I know how he can be.”
The flash of anger in her eye shows me this is not going in my favor whatsoever.
“We’re not playing that game, Tank. I’m not getting in between you two, and I’m not ganging up on him with you. I just need to go talk to my girlfriend and blow off some steam.”
She pecks me on the lips and I don’t know what else to do but roll my eyes.
“You just expect me to wait around here until you feel like coming back?”
“No,” she says, slipping out the front door and shutting it behind her.
That didn’t go at all how I expected it to, or how I wanted it to. What started out as one of the best days is now just one of those irritating ones. The door swings back open and she looks at me and smiles.
“Hey, I love you,” she says, before slamming the door again.
I guess I got that going for me. I guess it’s not even about me, even though I’m the one getting punished for this dumbass doing dumbass things.
I grab my jacket and head for the garage. I might as well go see what the guys are up to while she cools down. I get on my bike and head down the road to the clubhouse.
Chapter 24
Olive:
I pull into Esther’s driveway, gripping the steering wheel so hard that I’m digging my nails into skin to the point that it hurts. That fucking asshole. Today was such a good day, and now I just want to punch holes in the walls.
I can’t believe I’m letting Red get me so worked up. It’s not fair to the other man who is being nothing but good to me. I want nothing more than to run into Tank’s arms and tell him all my problems, tell him what a jerk Red is and how much I hate him right now, but that wouldn’t be right.
That would make me a terrible person. Picking whichever guy made me happier at any given moment. That’s not fair to either one of them. I don’t think it’s fair to make one suffer because the other one is being a jerk, either, though. I’m angry, I’m sad, and I’m stressed to the max. I can only hope Esther can point me in the right direction.
“Hey, Ollie,” Brooks says as I slam the door of my Jeep. “Where’s your harem?”
I flip him the bird without thinking.
“Oh my God, Brooks,” I say, laughing nervously. “I don’t know why I did that. I’m in a mood. Is Esther around?”
President of the Mountain Misfits, Brooks is a mountain of a man: quiet, thoughtful, and slow to anger. Still, there’s no sense in poking the bear, because I’ve seen what happens when you poke him in just the right way.
“Must be something in the air. I think she’s out back burning our wedding photos.” He shakes his head and laughs and goes right back to tinkering on the engine he has in front of him.
I walk around the house to their backyard, and she’s sitting on the deck, smoking a cigarette, a bottle of bourbon resting between her knees.
“Jeez, girl, you know how to party,” I say when I spot her. “Give me one of those.”
Esther only smokes when she’s really angry. I only smoke when Esther has cigarettes. I light it up, coughing as I inhale the tobacco into my lungs.
“What’s got you all twisted?” I ask. I don’t know why seeing her mad makes me feel better. I guess having someone to commiserate with is better than being angry alone.
“Nothing out of the ordinary.” She shrugs and takes a long draw from the bottle of bourbon. “Just some club stuff that I probably shouldn’t even know about. It doesn’t pay to play super secret detective with these guys. I just worry.”
As wife of the president and sister of the vice president, I am sure she knows things that I don’t even want to get involved in on any level. I try not to think about that side of the club. I know all these men are good at heart, but what they do to keep the patch alive is something I just try to keep a blind eye on.
“There might be a mole,” she says. “I told Brooks he needs to line everyone up and get out the crowbar, but he just wants to ride it out.” I often forget how twisted this girl is. I think we all sleep a little better at night knowing she has Brooks to even her temper out.
“It’s going to be ok,” I assure her, although I honestly have no clue.
“It’s not,” she sighs. “What do I owe the pleasure of your presence with?”
I realize, in the grand scheme of things, that my problems are probably really insignificant. I’m fighting with one of my boyfriends. Big deal.
“I was just bored and making the rounds,” I say. “I’ll let you back to whatever you’re doing here.”
“No,” she says. “I’m glad you’re here. You always put me in a better mood, Ollie. Tell me something fun.”
“Well… Tank is teaching me how to ride a motorcycle!” I say, pulling out my phone.
“Is that like a euphemism for something sexual? I’m picturing you in nothing but a helmet and it’s kind of hilarious.”
“No, you jerk. Look.” I show her the pictures I snapped earlier today. The ones that I put on social media. The ones that irritated Red so much.
“Holy shit, Olive. That’s awesome. It’s going to be amazing having another girl to ride with. He must really like you.”
I don’t know why, but it makes me blush hearing it. I know he really likes me. Everything he says to me, the way he touches me, the way he looks at me, every time I’m near him, I feel nothing but this love for me. I shouldn’t be here right now. I should be at home with him, enjoying our time together. It’s not his fault Red is being ridiculous, and Esther has enough on her plate right now.
“I’m going to go,” I say. “Hope your night gets better. I love you, E.” I hug her and slink back out to the driveway.
“You locked up the weapons, didn’t you?” I ask Brooks.
“I even swapped out the silverware for plastic,” he laughs. “I don’t want to know what that girl could do with a metal spoon, and I’m not trying to find out.”
“Well good luck,” I say, before hopping into my Jeep.
“Hey!” he shouts. “Any word about Red’s trip to Vegas?”
“Not really. Some agents watched him work out today, though,” I say through the rolled down window. “I’ll make sure I let you know if I hear anything.”
“Maybe when he gets back he can get Esther into his gym. She’d probably benefit from some bare-handed boxing.” I laugh as I pull out of the driveway. Brooks knew exactly what he was getting into with that one. I love Esther to death, but she had a past that makes mine look like rainbows and sunshine.
When I get back to the house, Tank is gone, and I don’t blame him. He has every right to go do whatever he feels like doing. I did bail on him after all. I search through the freezer for something to make for dinner. I sort his laundry and start a load. I know he doesn’t expect this stuff, but he does so many kind things for me, it’s the least I can do.
Just as I’m about to start the vacuum up, there’s a knock at the door. I try to discreetly peek out the curtains in the living room, staring at the woman standing there. I can’t believe my eyes. She’s exactly how I pictured her. She’s got a quilted tote bag over her arm and she smooths her skirt as she stands there waiting.
I think I’m about to meet Tank’s mom, and I have no idea what I’m going to say.
***
She looks so much like him, it’s almost frightening. Obviously in a pretty and feminine way, but her hair is dark, albeit streaked with gray, and her eyes are that deep chocolate brown. Her smile is gentle, and her voice is soft.
“Hello,” she says when I open the door. “Is Thurston home?”
I’m confused for a second, not putting two and two together.
“You must be Mrs. Ellis,” I say. I don’t want to be blatantly rude to this lady, even though I’m pretty disappointed in “Thurston” right now. “He’s not here right now. Do you want to come inside and wait for him?”
“Oh, it’s alright,” she says. “He wasn’t answering his phone so I figured I’d just drop by. I’m kind of a crazy mom like that.”
I pick up his phone off the coffee table and hold it up. “He must have forgot it.”
I was really hoping the first time I met Tank’s mom it would be the two of us hitting it off, becoming friends. I want her to love me. I want her to see me as another daughter. Instead, I’m just his friend’s girlfriend in her eyes. She pulls plastic containers out of her bag and holds them out to me.
“There’s some cookies in here and a meatloaf and carrots. There’s plenty here for the three of you. You look like a nice girl. Make sure my son shares.” I don’t know if I want to hug her or roll my eyes at her. She definitely lives in a different world than we do. I know she’s being kind, but I kind of just want to grab her and shake her.
“Thank you so much, Mrs. Ellis,” I say. “You sure you don’t want to come inside?”
“It’s alright,” she assures me. “It was nice meeting you. Olivia, right?”
“Sure,” I mutter. I’m trying so hard, I really am, but I have no idea what this woman knows about me. He can’t say he hasn’t told her anything for lack of seeing her, being as she’s willing to drive at least half an hour just to drop by and give him meatloaf. “It was nice meeting you, too.”
I watch her walk down the steps and back to her car, so innocent. So naive. Part of me wants to just take all of this stuff and throw it in the trash.
The other part of me really wants some meatloaf. It’s not her fault. I’m not going to take out my anger on her home cooking.
I close the door behind her and sit down at the kitchen island with a fork, popping open the top of the container. First, I’m going to eat all this food. Then I’m going to figure out what I’m going to do about Thurston.
Before I know it, it’s getting dark and I’m in a food coma. I really should go back to my place after the day I’ve had with these two, but I drag myself to the couch, throwing a blanket over my body. I’ll be the bigger person and talk to him about it, that is, if I don’t explode all over the living room. I lay there, groaning, until I pass out.
Chapter 25
Tank:
I didn’t expect to see her Jeep in the driveway when I got home.
Seeing her passed out there on the couch makes me smile.
The sight of my mother’s Tupperware all over the kitchen countertop, however, makes me nervous as hell. It’s not that I don’t want to tell my parents about Olive. Every day I want to tell them more and more; I just don’t know if they’ll be understanding of a nonconventional relationship, and I don’t want to cross that bridge unless I absolutely have to.
She might have crossed it for me, though.
I hear her gasp on the couch and shuffle around a little bit.
“Sorry,” I whisper. “I didn’t mean to startle you.”
“I met your mother,” she says, her voice deep and husky. I can tell she’s still half asleep. I see the end table light flick on, and her squinted eyes look like they’re trying to shoot laser beams of death at me. “Nice lady. Good cook. I’m not really into carrots, but who am I to be picky? I’m just the roommate’s girlfriend, after all.”
“Well that’s not a complete lie, Olive.” I shrug. “And it’s not like you’re in any mad hurry to introduce me to your mother.”
“Put your shoes on,” she says. “You know where we can find any meth?”
“What?” I stammer.
“How much cash you got on you? That’ll probably do.”
“I get it. Your mom is a loser. My mom, however, runs a day care center in her home. She’s in charge of Bible study at the local church. She’s running for the school board this year. Can you see why maybe trying to have an open three-way relationship isn’t in the best interest of my family?”
“Why didn’t you just tell her I was your girlfriend? Why did you have to tell her I was dating Red?”
“Ollie, the pictures after the fight were all over the internet. My mom loves him as much as we do, maybe more. She was going on and on about how pretty you are and when am I going to find myself a nice girl like that. Do you know how hard it was for me to keep my mouth shut?”
“It must be hard being you, Thurston,” she says with extra emphasis. “Living a double life. Mommy’s perfect son by day and big badass biker by night. What are you even doing here? We might be a bunch of scumbags, but at least we wear it on our sleeves.”
“You mean yourself and Red by we, right? The man who had you spitting nails a few hours ago?”
“I’m allowed to be mad at both of you if you’re both being assholes,” she says matter-of-factly.
“You sure are,” I say, feeling my anger intensify. I didn’t think I could be mad at this girl, but she just pushed the wrongest of wrong button. “Don’t you question my place in this club, ever. Don’t you question my loyalty. You don’t know the things I do for the patch. You only see the tip of the iceberg because, in the scheme of the club, you are a bartender at a place we hang out at and an old lady.”
The second those words come out of my mouth, I’m instantly filled with regret. That came out wronger than wrong. I watch as her eyes fill with tears and I don’t even know what to say to make it better.
“Olive,” I say, as she covers her face with her hands and begins to cry. “I didn’t mean it that way. I swear.”
“I don’t care what way you meant it, Tank. You still said it. And it’s still true.”
I sit down next to her on the couch and put my arm around her. “No,” I assure her. “That was really hurtful of me. It’s only true in the sense that you don’t have a dick. You women are the glue that hold us together. Even before I was dating you, I wanted to do right by you. We do see a lot of dark shit, and having an old lady to love is what makes that easier.”
“Okay,” she says with a shrug.
“You want to talk? You want a beer? You want to go to bed?” I’ve never seen her so emotionless. She always has the right thing to say, and right now she’s just staring at the TV that isn’t even turned on.
“I think I’m going to go to bed,” she says.
“Olive, I am so fucking sorry,” I say. “Please tell me how to make it better.”
“It’s fine.” She walks back into my bedroom and doesn’t even turn the light on.
“Do you want me to come back there with you?” I ask from the doorway.
“Whatever.”
I stand in the doorway, feeling my heart break. I know I fucked up big time. I feel this queasiness in my stomach. I have no idea how to make it right. I know at the core I’m a good person, but I’m not acting like one right now. There’s no point in trying to talk about this tonight. I strip down to my boxers, going to throw my clothes in the hamper, and I notice it’s full of my clean clothes, neatly folded.
She’s too good for me. She’s too good for all of this shit. She’s already asleep, and I go lay on the couch, turning on the TV to watch absolutely nothing before passing out.
Chapter 26
Olive:
Waking up alone when you’re used to having someone around all the time is weird. I know why I’m alone. It’s as much my fault as it is his. Sure, he said some mean things, but I poked. I jammed my fingers right into a sore spot, a spot I know he guards with everything he has, and I did it on purpose because I was hurting.
We were both being ridiculous.
And none of this would’ve been an issue if Red hadn’t set the tone for the evening.
Seeing him out in the living room, all
smushed up on the couch, makes me giggle a little at the ridiculousness of it, but mostly I feel guilty.
I stroke his chest, then run my fingers through his beard until his eyes snap open. As soon as he comes around, he smiles.
“What are you doing out here?” I ask. He sits up with a groan. “Come back to bed. You shouldn’t be sleeping out here.”
He stands up and heads straight for the bathroom. I hear the water running as he brushes his teeth. “What time is it?” he stammers.
“It’s four a.m. Come back to bed.” I take him by the hand to the bedroom and we slide under the covers together. He hugs me tight, and before I know it, he’s out cold once again. Maybe we don’t need to talk it out. Maybe we can just consider yesterday a bad day and move along with our lives. I press my lips to his shoulder, wanting to make sure he’s really here with me. To feel him. To smell him. To wrap my arms around him and never let him go again. I lay there unmoving, staring at the wall, until soon, I’m out cold again.
***
“Stacy and I are trading shifts today,” I say, filling up his coffee cup before sitting down to breakfast with him. “I’ll be done by ten tonight. Maybe we can pick up some takeout and just be lazy?”
By “be lazy” I really mean make up for the disaster that was yesterday. So much miscommunication and drama, all for no reason at all. Thinking about this in a calmer state of mind makes me realize I need to get things right with him before Red comes back tomorrow. Slay one dragon at a time.
“That sounds good,” he says. “I have a lot of stuff to get done at the shop today. I’ll swing by afterwards and we can go from there. Maybe we can stop at my parents’ on the way home.”
“Tank,” I say, “we really don’t have to.” I realize now that I’ve had some time to think that I love this man, I don’t care about anything else he has going on in his world. We can have everything, we can do the meet the parents thing, but I am happy with us right now. Things will happen exactly like they’re supposed to on their own time.