“Ah.” I tilt my head, seeing him clearly for the first time. Those gray eyes. How did I not recognize them before? They’ve only haunted me every day since arriving. “So it’s you I have to blame for kidnapping us.”
“Joanna!” Azure’s voice is chiding, but to my surprise, Alessio joins her. Gadian chuckles and waves away their concern.
“Darling.” Alessio strokes my hair, but his words sound embarrassed. “I’ll agree that their means of inviting us here were . . . unprecedented. But no one can doubt their hospitality.” He gives them an apologetic smile.
“Hospitality?” I whisper to him, though obviously the others are close enough to hear. “Who cares about hospitality? They time traveled! They are worse than murders!”
“That is simply a difference of opinion,” Gadian interjects. “No different from how one person believes it is wrong to eat meat and another, equally good person will eat meat daily.” His words remind me of Leo, how he refused to be a living tomb for animals.
Is this to be my tomb?
“You kidnapped me. Is that something I am supposed to forgive and forget? Fall in love with the delusion, think my captors are next to gods? That’s just revolting.”
“They have seen to it that anything you desire, you can have.” Alessio waves his arm to the room as if I am blind to the proof around me.
For a moment, for Alessio, I try to adjust my eyes to the lighting from where he sits.
“Perhaps you are right.” The words come out slow. “They gave me the loveliest gowns.”
“The gowns, yes! So glad you like them.” Azure grins at Gadian, who doesn’t bother to look back at her.
“And the food is . . . unlike anything I’ve ever experienced.”
Alessio nods in relief. “In my father’s home, we ate well, but this is an entirely new level of eating that I hadn’t known existed!”
“We want for nothing here.” I smile now as I look around at the others. “But I was wondering if I might have one thing?” At once, their smiles go stale. They see where I’m going with this. “Nothing extravagant, really. Just a pear.” Around the table, their grins melt away. Well, except Gadian’s. He leans back, looking amused. He sniffs, but doesn’t stop me. “A ripe pear is one of life’s greatest simple pleasures, wouldn’t you say?” My words sound sweet, but drip in accusation. My voice, rather than rising, begins to lower, each word more heavily laden than the one before it. “No. No, you couldn’t possibly do that. You don’t need bars and dungeons when all you have to do is lock away the earth from us down to the very last piece of raw fruit. We had magic. We had family. We were home. Do you honestly fool yourselves into believing that any amount of dancing or fine meals can make us forget that? You have stolen kingdoms from us!”
Azure closes her eyes, then tilts her head toward the ceiling, as if not believing this is happening to her. When she opens her eyes, she meets Alessio’s, and the message in them is clear. Can’t you make her stop? He understands the words in her features as well as I can, and turns to me, his voice barely a whisper.
“Please. You are being ungrateful.”
Ungrateful? The mere thought brings bile up my throat. No one has ever accused me of being ungrateful, for if there is anything in the world I strive to be, it is that. But how can he not see that all that was beautiful, true, or good in my life, they took from me? From us.
“With all due respect, I need to talk to my sweetheart alone,” I say through clenched teeth.
Alone—right. Another impossibility in a place like this. Still, I grab Alessio’s hand and pull him from the table onto the dance floor. There seems no room for us, but somehow when we walk out, space magically appears, though we must stand close. Unlike everyone else, though, there is no euphoria between us right now. Behind me, I hear Azure try to recover the conversation.
“So, Gadian, what gave you the inspiration to start the Academy?” But I don’t wait to hear his answer.
“How can you—?” I spin on Alessio, but he quickly cuts me off.
“No, Joanna, listen to me!” He leans in close so that he doesnt haven’t to raise his voice above the music. “Please! I have a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity here! Gadian is respected far and wide for his contributions, and he has taken me under his wing. Do you realize how often that happens? Never. I’ve struck gold!” He grabs my hands, pleading. “You are being too quick to judge! How can you not love it here?”
He looks at the crowd, eyes glowing. When they turn back to me, they continue to glow, but there is hunger in them. He pulls my hands to his lips and kisses my knuckles, then leans close enough that our faces are nearly touching. Though he still has to talk over the crowd, he no longer must yell. “Give it a chance, Joanna. Please. Do it for me. If you do, I will prove to you that it is us being given a chance. I want to share this with you. Though it’s all I’ve ever hoped for, without you, it isn’t enough. I’ve missed you so much these past days.”
I look out at the party. Everyone there is more alive than if they were standing on mountain tops shouting their hearts out. I alone seem still, an island of sorrow in a swirling tide of ecstasy. Don’t I want this? Don’t I want to be happy again? There’s a cavernous hole in my chest where my happiness used to be. Perhaps this will fill it. Though I have sensed a trace of loneliness in other’s eyes at times, no one else seems to be walking around with huge gaping holes bored into them.
“Okay.” The word comes out like a kicked dog, but Alessio grins and kisses me. A young woman walks by with a platter of small drinks, and Alessio and I each take one.
It burns down my throat, but hits my bloodstream like water on a fire. I can’t help but smile at Alessio. At last, the noise around us becomes music to me, and my body finds the beat.
___
I jolt in the bed as though I’m falling. Black surrounds me, no sweet breath of sunlight here to let me know when the dawn is coming. Reaching up, I rub the sleep from my eyes and scratch the bristles on both cheeks, forcing myself up. Exhaustion has broken in and robbed me of precious hours to collect memories, time wasted.
In the back of my mind, the argument begins. Calm down. Give yourself a few hours of rest. What’s the rush? It’s not as though you don’t have all the time in the world.
But now I know that’s not true.
For weeks, I have felt a sense of urgency pushed upon me like the earth is trying to get a message through, and I am the only one who can hear it. Trying to make sense of it seems impossible—it’s a waterfall trying to come through a funnel.
Glancing across the room, my eyes adjust to the faintest light cast by the EXIT sign. On the other landing, I can make out the form of the young Italian woman resting peacefully under the covers. I had recognized her from the memory immediately. The memory that was different from all the others.
It was the only one I didn’t ask for.
Whatever message the earth wants me to know, she has something to do with it.
THIRTEEN
The Californian Remains, July 2048 A.D.
I was too used to the sight of a human body flying through the air to react when the man fell from the highest tier. While everyone else gasped and ran out of the way, I stood calm, expecting him to catch the wind and soar, obviously. But with the sickening thud of his body against the fake marble floors just in front of me, I come back to reality.
Rushing the short distance, I crouch over the man. All the bones on his right side of his face are smashed, leaving him beyond recognition. Blood oozes from a white rib that splices into the air. The man’s eyelids flutter, meaning there is still a spark of hope.
“Help!” I jump to my feet and scream. “We need a healer! A doctor! Quick!” The crowd gathers closer, then from it three people step forward. A woman, a male mentor, and Azure, who is rarely far from me.
“Elleny,” the fallen man mutters, even though several of his teeth are on the polished tiles in front of his face.
“I am a healer,” the woman says, though she seems lost
as to what to do. As she speaks, the male mentor kneels in the blood with his sharp black suit and gently touches the fallen man’s injuries. Whatever his fingers search for, he doesn’t seem to find, for when he looks up, he meets Azure’s eyes and shakes his head.
“I am a healer.” The woman speaks louder now, as though finally remembering what those words mean. She drops to her knees and places her hands an inch above the wound, all ready to begin. “I just need some raw food.”
“It’s too cold for Elleny,” the injured man mutters through the chaos, and only I can hear. “I have to button her coat for her.”
Whoever this Elleny is, I must find her for him—and fast.
“Elleny!” I jump to my feet and scream into the crowd. As I search the heads, I look at the injured man and see his eyes open and also seek for the familiar face. Except he is looking at waist level. A child. My heart plummets, knowing that the one face that could pull him back to consciousness is not here. There are no children at the Academy.
“Go to the kitchens,” the healer begs the man crouched next to her. “I can’t connect with the earth without raw food. Hurry!”
But he doesn’t hurry.
He just looks at Azure and slowly stands. I can’t give them another ounce of my attention, though, as the muscles in the injured man’s face soften, no longer seeming to be in pain. Lying on my stomach, I put my face inches from his and touch his cheek to try to get him to come back.
“Don’t go! I want to know—is Elleny your daughter’s name?”
He murmurs in confirmation, eyes still closed.
“It’s a beautiful name.” I brush my fingers into his hair, not letting myself cringe when I find it wet with blood. That doesn’t matter right now.
“It’s . . .” He flutters his eyes open, and he speaks surprisingly clear. “. . . the most beautiful name in the world.”
For a moment, I think he sees his daughter in my place, and I suppose I see my father in his. Wherever the child is my heart connects with the little girl, an arch of empathy, knowing too well the void that is being carved in her life. If he goes, there’s an emptiness the loneliness will move into, will flood and consume her small heart. If Papa had been alive, if home had been complete rather than forever with an empty chair at the table, maybe the lack of others wouldn’t have bruised my soul so deeply. I’m sure it wouldn’t have.
I lock eyes with this man, and with all the intensity of my heart I beg him, “Please. She needs you. She shouldn’t spend her life not knowing you.” I feel rocked right down to my core, as if it’s my own papa I’m calling back from heaven’s gate. “Think of the times you’ve had together. Think of all the times you’ll miss if you go now. You have to get back to her. You can’t be her hero, can’t keep her safe, if you’re gone. Stay. We’ll get you back to Elleny.” He doesn’t blink, clarity coming more and more to his eyes as I speak. “You would do anything for her, wouldn’t you? Do this. Will you? Will you fight to be with your daughter?”
He can’t nod, but when he answers, I know I got through to him.
“She needs me.”
“Yes! Thank you! We’ll get you help!”
It’s now that I realize the commotion that has been going on between the others that I had tuned out.
“You will do nothing?” The healer just stares at the other two with mouth gaping. Then from the throng, the same older dark woman I saw my first time in the Forum pushes through, dark braids resting thick across her shoulders.
“Here! Take this! Connect with the earth. Save him!” She begins to peel a banana, I believe they are called. She extends it to the healer as the young male mentor steps forward.
“Wild Dove, Masters of Tongue cannot share their raw food! Don’t make me get security in here.”
“Then lock me up.” She steps closer and again extends the food.
“Come on. Don’t put me in this position.” The mentor looks to the man on the ground, over to the healer, then back at Wild Dove. “If I let you give that to her, I’ll lose my job.”
To my astonishment, Azure steps forward and places her hand on his arm. “I’ll take the blame for this. Wild Dove, give it to her.”
“No.” Though it isn’t a shout, the force of it is as pointed and direct as an arrow. Gadian steps through the mob, everyone making way for him. Stepping into our cleared circle, he blows his air out in exasperation, as though a parent considering how to punish a naughty child.
“We will get him medical attention. There is no need for that.” He led two men carrying a stretcher, which he motions for them to place on the ground. As they begin transferring the injured man, Gadian turns to Azure, the look in his eye as metallic and final as a blade. “Azure, I need to speak with you. Come with me.”
Biting both her lips, Azure steps forward, eyes cast down.
I have a chance here, I realize. No one but the braided woman—Wild Dove, they called her—sees me reach up and break off a piece of the fruit.
Her glance just flutters down as she gives me an almost imperceptible nod.
“All right, everyone, the moment is over. He will be fine.” The male mentor waves the onlookers away from the scene. The healer just stands with the lost look of an abandoned child, unsure if the people around her are friend or foe.
“I could use a drink.” The male mentor sighs and turns to me and the healer. Wild Dove seems to have disappeared as quickly as she appeared. “Come on. I bet you both could use one too.” The healer nods and numbly begins to follow him, but I back away.
“Where are you going?” he asks, eyebrows tight.
“Azure is my mentor.” I stumble through the words, for the first time insisting on her company. Before he can protest, I turn and run to catch up with the somber parade disappearing through the crowd. Glancing back over my shoulder, I wonder if he will try to stop me from following, but all I see is the man looking at his blood-stained suit, an annoyed curl on his lips.
As I run, the piece of banana stays cupped in my palm, and though I don’t know what the man’s ability was before he was kidnapped, I have to cling to the belief that if I can just get this to him, it could help. Perhaps he is a healer himself or it can enhance his strength. I don’t know, but to me, raw earth equals hope. And I do know that hope is exactly what he needs.
Still, I stay a distance away, sure that Gadian would send me off if he were to see me. Through the Academy we travel until we come to a hallway I haven’t seen before. They pass through a double set of white doors, and my fingers catch one the moment before I am locked out. As I step through, all my surroundings change.
If the rest of The Academy had the charm of a king this section has the personality of an ailing old man, with even the scent of stale breath in the air. Here there is nothing flashier than white tile and the beep of machines. Walking past a room, I see a woman lying in a bed, sleeping. One arm is bandaged and the other has tubes flowing into her wrist. This is a small infirmary, I realize.
Strangely, I see only one infirmary worker, too preoccupied to notice me. Then I realize it is because the others have followed Gadian and Azure, all hands on deck to help the injured man.
Coming to the window, I see Gadian watching over the hospital bed, his stature that of a soldier. Azure sits by the hurt man’s bed, holding his hand though he no longer seems conscious.
“Elleny,” I whisper, as though somewhere his soul is hovering near enough to hear his daughter’s name. Perhaps that would be enough to give him the will to keep his heart beating. But no, one by one the nurses and doctors shake their heads and their movements slow from their previously frantic pace. It confuses me, as I can still see the rise and fall of breath from the man’s chest.
“You shouldn’t be here.” A husky voice behind me makes me jump. A nurse is standing there, his jaw clenched. “Doctor! A Magic One is in here!” All heads turn to me, and when Gadian walks towards me, whatever warmth and gentleness he generally gives off is gone. Again, his gray eyes seem made of metal
, cold and unfeeling.
Exactly like the first time I saw them.
I step back, afraid, realizing that to him the term “Magic One” does not equate with “human.” Before, he has looked at me as a tool, a source of information, an object to be studied. But now he looks at me like a complication. Something to be dealt with immediately.
“Joanna, what do you think you are doing?” Azure jumps to her feet and races ahead of Gadian, grabbing my arm and aggressively pushing me through the door.
She doesn’t wait for an answer, but plows us through the infirmary halls so hastily, I don’t have time to control each step. Though I stumble, she maintains her firm grip on my arm, dragging me.
“You’d think you’d have some sense of self-preservation! Idiot animals figure it out, but no—you gotta walk right into the lion’s den! Of all the inane things to do . . . ” Her hair whips over her face as she looks back over her shoulder to the room we left behind. “You have no idea how foolish it was to follow us.” Strands of hair stick to her lips, but she doesn’t waste a thought on them. Seeing that no one has followed us, she loosens her grip and the anger in her features evaporates, showing only the fear left behind.
I notice how she trembles, the adrenaline like an ice bath over her. Her face is waxen, sallow, and damp with sweat. Though her pace doesn’t slow and she continues to escort me roughly, it strikes me that what drives her is not a fit of anger to protect secrets, but rather to protect me. Her terror wakes me up to the danger I have put myself in, and my heart races to wonder what she knows that I don’t.
Eventually, we make our way out of the infirmary, and as the doors close behind us, we are again engulfed in the gaiety of the Academy. Azure lets go of me and covers her mouth with her shaking hands. Any fire she had shown toward me is completely spent, and I feel as though I could blow her over with a breath.
“Azure.”
She looks up, but her eyes don’t focus on me. “I need to know what’s going on,” I insist.
“He has blood on his brain.” Her voice rises to the surface slowly. “He fell into a coma. If he comes out of it, he will likely live as a vegetable.”
They Called Us Shaman Page 9