Freedom.
Magic.
Love.
“We will destroy the time machine,” Joanna had said. My breath caught in my throat as I realized, “She’s staying with me.” Together we will be free of this place and can make something of our lives. However cruel or beautiful the days it gives us may be, we will have each other.
I may have once lost everything, but now I get to keep her, and that’s more than enough.
FORTY
The Californian Remains, November 2048 A.D
In the whirlwind of noise and mayhem, we stand in the silent eye. Gadian, Ramose, and his men all just stare at me. I think the men don’t like my idea much better than Gadian does.
A red-haired one shifts and swallows. “If you wanna do that, fine, but send me home first.”
“Me too,” another speaks up. They are all nodding, but I shake my head.
“If we let one person, there will come another and another. It could take hours to send everyone back, and we don’t have that kind of time.”
“She’s right,” Ramose jumps in. “The time machine is the property of the United States of America. The alarm may have already been sounded for them to send support. We cannot face an army. We must let everyone escape while they can, and eliminate the possibility that they can do this to us again.”
I nod. “The longer we wait, the more our risk increases. We must go now—there isn’t a moment to lose.” Looking in each of their eyes, I pause and swallow back my emotion. “I would not ask something of you that I wasn’t willing to do myself. I wish we could go home too.”
One by one they meet my gaze, several eyes brimming.
“Fine.” The red head speaks for the group but the word comes out choked. “Let’s do what we need to do.”
“Okay.” I lift the last gun in my arms toward Gadian, awkward and heavy in my hands. “Let’s go.”
Our tiny infantry strides from the room and into the Forum. At once, the difference in the rooms disturbs me. It’s been at least half emptied, but those that remain are white with shock and hands shaking.
“I want nothing to do with this!” one young woman near us declares as a mentor hands her a drink. “Why would I leave?”
“That’s her!” a shaman across the room shouts and points to me. “She’s the one who turned into a bull!”
A few mentors leap to their feet, coming at me, but Ramose jumps in front of me with his gun. “We have Gadian! Let us through!”
The crowd freezes, and we move quickly before they have time to form a plan of attack.
“It makes me sick,” one of our men mutters. “Our own people, surrendering to them..”
As I glance over my shoulder, my heart breaks for those shaman. “I feel sorry for them. That they don’t have anything they feel is worth fighting for.”
Scanning the crowd, I try to find Alessio’s face. The last time I saw him was just before turning into a bull, but he must be here somewhere. Going down with his beloved Academy, no matter the cost. He gave up everything for this Academy—home, magic, family, first love.
Once, I had felt like I had never met anyone like Alessio. We were perfect for each other. But why? Because we shared flight? I didn’t have to keep my magic a secret? Yet now that he isn’t the only magic person I know, where does that leave us?
If I were never to fly again, I know who my soul would long for.
I know who can soften even the loss of home. Though I will always grieve Mama and Leo, there’s one soft smile and peaceful soul where I can find a new home.
Looking forward, my eyes rest on Ramose. Gun at the ready and eyes alert, he leads us, ready to make himself a human shield if need be. I wonder if anyone else notices how his gun shakes in his hands. Yet when suddenly a mentor catches us off guard from a hallway, it’s less than a second before Ramose is standing between the man and myself.
“Let us through!” he demands again, and perhaps the man who doesn’t know Ramose can’t see how little Ramose wishes to shoot. He’s not a born fighter, but he’ll take a life or give his own if that’s what it means to protect what he loves.
Who he loves.
Seeing him step between me and danger, I understand that the language of love is not uttered with words, but lived. How else could I have fallen in love these past weeks when we could barely speak? A person can tell me they love me, but they’ll show me the truth every time.
Here is a man I can love, more than with the bright flicker of passion, for here is a man I can trust. For is it not the heartbeat behind love? To have love without the other is like to have a fish without water—it cannot be expected to live very long.
Watching him, his brow furrowed as he is set on his mission, I can’t help but smile. He is good. He is kind and brave. He is handsome, yes, but who he is, is beautiful. This is a man worth loving. A man I can only hope to be loved by.
“Fourth door down?” Ramose calls over his shoulder, pulling me from my thoughts.
“Yes.” I snap back to the moment. “Fourth door on the right.”
Arriving, I turn to the two men escorting us. “We need to free Gadian’s hands. The chip is embedded in his arm.”
One man barks out a laugh. “Yeah, that’s not going to happen.” Shoving Gadian forward, he forces him to face-plant against the door, the gag digging in tight around the edge of his lips, his face wincing hard on the impact. With a click, we hear the door unlock as the chip is detected.
“We’ll stand guard.” They motion to each other, so only Ramose and I take Gadian inside.
As I step in, Brigetta’s last memory comes back to me full force. It shackles my feet in place, and for a moment I can’t step forward, not without seeing bodies dropping to the floor, their faces with veins bulging, gasping for air. I drop my gun and place my hand on the doorframe, trying to will my knees not to cave under me.
“Joanna.” Ramose stands next to me, and though he doesn’t dare take his hands from the gun, he comforts me with his gaze. “I know. You can do this.”
Nodding, I exhale and walk into the empty room. Empty but for the dark cube waiting at the back, larger than a man and twice as wide as his wingspan. Metal, metal on all sides.
“How are we supposed to break that?” one of the men standing guard looks in and asks.
I stride forward, attempting to be unfazed by the memories dying at my feet, and reach for the handle of the machine that destroyed my world. The machine that alone could put all the pieces back together. Doubt washes over me.
I just want to go home.
Ramose steps forward, and meeting my eyes, gives me a slow nod. “You know what you must do,” His voice is steady. He gives me the softest smile, and that is all I need. Oh, how I need that smile in my life. Perhaps we were never meant to repair the pieces of our old world. Perhaps we have to make a beautiful mosaic with the pieces we have left.
I want to create that with him.
Turning the handle, I step inside the machine. On my right and left are padded benches covering the length of those two walls, but just in front of me is our answer. Buttons and screens glow, ready to come alive.
“There’s a control panel,” I call over my shoulder. “We’ll shoot it. Then we can worry about how to dismantle the rest.”
Suddenly comes a strained voice behind me. “You never have had any sense of self-preservation.”
Spinning around, I see Azure, her feet firmly planted on the floor in front of the door, a gun steady in each hand.
She looks nothing like herself. Normally each strand of hair seems to know its place, and her makeup is contoured until she looks more doll-faced than human. But now stains of black streak her cheeks, her firm jaw not hidden under foundation. Her hair folds up and over her head, as though she’s only just run her fingers through it. The knuckles of her left hand have blood drying on them. She is barefoot, and from how taut her calves are, I realize she must have kicked her heels off to come running here.
But it’s he
r eyes that scare me most. They are animal, or what we tell ourselves animals are. Wild. Crazed. Uncontrollable, yet set. These last months she may have been conflicted at times, but no longer. She knows exactly where she stands.
“Put your guns on the ground!” she barks, stepping forward.
I raise my hands, but stay inside the time machine, as Ramose’s gun slides to her feet. I have no idea what happened to our guards.
“Azure, think about what you doing—”
“Oh.” she laughs, jagged and sharp. “I know what I’m doing. The only thing that can be done. You couldn’t have planned your little escape just a few weeks out, Joanna? We are so close.” Walking forward, she kicks the guns behind her, toward the open door, then turns toward me with eyes narrowed. “Get out of that thing. You’re being ridiculous.” Her voice is quiet and lethal.
I don’t move.
“Now!” she screams, her inner psycho intent on getting the last word.
I only place my hands on the frame of the time machine door, firming my stance.
In an instant, she has crossed the room, and she thrusts the cool steel in her hand against my temple. Tears brim in her red-laced eyes as she spits out her words.
“Don’t try to make me choose between you and saving my son. I. Chose. Him.” Her chin quavers, but her eyes are unwavering. “I will not allow the Academy to fail. Get. Out. Now.” She cocks the gun and closes her eyes. Her lips move, and I realize she is counting down. Three . . . two . . . one . . .
A crack splits the air, and Azure crumples to the ground. Standing behind her is Alessio, a gun in his hand.
“You killed her!” I gasp, unsure whether to be sick or relieved.
Alessio looks down at the gun in his hands. “I . . . don't know. I hit her as hard as I could upside her head. In the movies I’ve seen here, it just knocks them out, but . . .” He shakes his head and takes a breath, steadying himself. “It doesn’t matter. We’re leaving.”
“What?” I answer, confused.
“Sit down.” He tries to smile. “We’re going home.”
I look to Ramose.
“You can’t.” He strides forward, hand up in front of him as if that alone could ward off a tin arrow. “We have to destroy it.”
“Alessio! It’s me!” Gadian’s voice interrupts and looking over I see that he has wriggled the gag down till it only hangs on his bottom lip. “I can’t tell you how good it is to see you! We must stop them—”
“How about this?” Alessio’s eyes snap cold, and he straightens his stance, cocking the gun right in Gadian’s face. “How about you shut your mouth or I shove this in it? I trusted you, you lying son of a—”
As he talks, Ramose slowly strides toward the doorway where three guns lay. Alessio must have picked up one of the guards’ that Azure had disarmed.
“Ho ho!” Alessio scoffs, spinning onto him. “You’re quick!” Keeping the gun trained on Ramose, he picks up another one from Azure’s still hand.
“Sit down, Joanna,” he instructs again, but this time with no smile. “We’re going home.” The words that should be precious sound black and haunted. He aims at my heart and steps toward me.
“Will people please stop pointing those things at me?” I throw my fists down. “I’m not going with you!”
As he steps into the time machine, I’m forced to back up or have the gun against my collarbone. He meets my eyes and answers quietly, “I’m not giving you a choice.”
He drops the gun to free his hand, and through the opening, I see Ramose dive for a weapon yards away. But clasping the handle, Alessio slams the door shut. As he locks it, the metal of the door dents in from a tin arrow, but it does not penetrate.
PART THREE
There is no sane thought left in my head, nothing but to get to her and now, by whatever means possible. Stepping back, I shoot at the time machine, at a height above hers but hopefully just right to stop him. He can’t take her. He can’t!
I feel sick as my finger pulls the trigger, and tell myself that in war. murder is not a crime. But I know it’s a lie. Still, I shoot again. And again. For she is the thing in my life most worth fighting for. It is the only good fight I know.
FORTY-ONE
The Californian Remains, November 2048 A.D
Alessio keeps the gun pointed at me as he whirls around to face the control panel. A light above our heads brightens. Two more bullets dent into the time machine, but Alessio doesn’t even glance at them. On the other side of the door, I can hear Ramose’s voice yell, but I can’t make out the words.
“Alessio.” I step forward, reaching out to him. We hear banging and shouting as Ramose tries to get to us. “You have to stop. Are you seriously thinking you’ll time travel? You know it’s wrong.”
But with a roll of his shoulders he shrugs me off. He doesn’t look at me as he turns to inspect the controls in front of him. He decides to flick one, and I can see a keyboard beamed onto a tabletop. With his attention divided I try to inch toward the door but he lifts the gun and meets my eyes.
“You’re not a murderer,” I whisper, but the words sound unsure of themselves.
“No.” Alessio agreed. “But shooting you in the leg would keep you from escaping or distracting me, and right now. it seems about my best option. As we travel back in time. it would heal. Don’t think I won’t do it.”
I look at this man I had loved, but all I see is the version of him who beat Leo in an alleyway. I really have no idea what he is capable of. When I don’t move, he turns his focus to the control board again.
He types on the smooth surface—not the automatic typing I’ve seen Azure do, but slowly, each letter intentional, until he finally lets out a quick, nearly hysterical laugh and then leans back. With that, there is a sudden loud sound like an enormous fan, and Alessio collapses in the chair, a triumphant smile on his face, watching glowing blue numbers start to click backward, a different number each second, his gun still resting on the control panel.
Instantly, it is as if my wound from being shot as a bull never happened. The pain evaporates, the skin closes, the passage of time in reverse takes it all back.
“Goodbye, 2048...2047...46.” He runs his hand through his hair and pats the seat next to him. “Might as well get comfortable. Passing each year a second at a time could take, oh, ten minutes or so.” I don’t smile, don’t move closer to him, but take the seat nearest me, staring hard across at him. Then with a lunge, I snatch the gun and point it at his heart.
“Turn it around.”
He sighs and shakes his head. “Do you have to make this so hard? We are going home—remember that place? Lots of cypress tree and basilicas? Sound familiar?”
His words do nothing to relax me. “How do you know how to operate this thing? How did you get past the security?”
He leans back and crosses his arms over his chest. “You took care of most the security by bringing Gadian with you. Besides the chip in Gadian’s arm, there’s a scanner that frequently checks the bodies in the room. If the door closes without the scan detecting Gadian’s warm body, vents suck all the oxygen from the air. So, my thanks.”
He waves his arm as if in a bow. I swallow hard and don’t answer.
“As for the password to start the machine, Gadian gave me that on a silver platter. He brought me to the room, swung open the door, and told me everything I needed to know to go home. Nothing buys someone’s loyalty like handing them the way out, right? By getting them to choose their prison.” He laughs darkly and looks away from me, his jaw tight.
“We have to take it back now!” My voice is escalating the more he ignores my pleas. “It needs to be destroyed!”
“Calm down. Why not just destroy it once we are home in Italy?” Alessio asks.
I remain quiet but with my empty hand, I rub my bottom lip.
“Ah.” Realization hits Alessio. “Him.” Then he just tils his fingers as if brushing my concerns away. “Sorry, it’s a one-way track—no turning around until we
get there. Besides . . .” His voice lowers. “Wouldn’t you like to see your mother first?”
I pause and look at the gun. Of course I want to see Mama.
“But . . .” But Ramose is the other direction. With each second, I am traveling years away from a life with him. “I can’t go back to 2048. It’s evil, time travel. If you hadn’t forced me …” My voice trails off as my knees go weak, and I set the gun down on the control panel. Then I succumb to sitting again. “How can you do this? You know the earth wouldn’t want you to.”
Alessio shrugs. “In this thing, even the earth can’t stop me.”
I look at Alessio, but don’t see him. My thoughts are on Ramose’s face, just before the door was slammed shut. I could have spent my life with Ramose, but now I’ll never see him again. He may as well be dead. “But . . . it’s as bad as murder,” I whisper, looking at my hands.
“Murder?” Alessio’s gaze bores into me, hard-rimmed and fixed. “No. No. How can you even compare the two? Didn’t you see what I saw when that window broke? I couldn’t believe it at first when I saw Gadian. Gadian. I’d put him on a higher pedestal than my own father. Gadian saw right through me, didn’t he? He could see how in my father’s home I was invisible, and Gadian used that. He saw how father couldn’t even manage to be disappointed in me, because that require giving me some actual thought or expectations. Detached. That’s what he was.
“Then up stepped Gadian, telling me I was someone. Treating me like a king—no, better. Like a son. What a joke.” He pauses and suddenly punches the wall next to him. “What a ridiculous joke!” He shakes his head, the muscles in his jaw clenching and unclenching. “That’s all it took for me to drool at his feet like some pathetic dog. It didn’t matter who he was, what he was doing—only what he told me. I didn’t even let myself feel anything when I saw what he did to that rebel friend of yours. In my mind, I still defended him, still insisted there must be an explanation.
They Called Us Shaman Page 26