A smile tugged at my lips when Hunter’s hand shot out, grabbing Madison and pulling her close before she could get away. Her laugh pouring free as he tickled her side.
Beau’s fingers flexed against my waist as if he was craving that kind of freedom with me.
Not that we were in any way like Madison and Hunter. Hunter was all lighthearted teases, where Beau was broody passion that set my soul on fire. Still, there was a softness to Beau when it was just the two of us. There was a playfulness mixed in with all that intensity. There was a guy no one else ever got to see, even though he was much more open with Hunter and Madison than the rest of Amber.
But on nights like tonight?
Beau was quiet and careful. That moody boy I loved so much radiating all that intensity behind midnight eyes and a clenched jaw.
Because my parents were here.
Ever since I’d come home from my grandparents’ a year ago, he’d been that way. Afraid to say or do the wrong thing in front of them even though just being with me was the wrong thing in their eyes.
Not that it had stopped us.
Not that they hadn’t truly tried last summer.
My mom’s parents had been given strict instructions to not let me have access to their phone or computer. They’d gone so far as to unplug the phone and take it to their room every night so I wouldn’t be able to contact Beau. They’d also found the letter I’d tried to sneak in with their outgoing mail and torn it in front of me.
But not talking with him for those months had only been part of my punishment.
My parents weren’t exactly religious . . . but my grandparents were.
I’d spent my days doing endless house and yardwork while my grandmother prayed for my sinful ways. My nights consisted of being forced to read the pages of my diary out loud while being whacked on my knuckles with a wooden spoon every time I mentioned that Beau and I kissed or touched. With every scandalous sentence read and every spoon brought down upon my hands, she’d bless the air as if I’d breathed evil into it. Before I was sent to bed, my grandfather tried to prove with scripture that Beau’s type of anger meant he had the devil inside him.
My grandmother had slapped me across the face when, after a month of listening to it all, I’d said, “Well, one thing we do know is the devil sure can kiss.”
When I’d still gone running straight for the Dixons’ house when I’d arrived back in Amber and been swept into Beau’s arms, my parents had lost it. It had been the first time mine and Beau’s parents had gotten into an argument . . . screaming match might be more accurate. And it had lasted hours.
My parents still didn’t approve of our relationship, but they were no longer horrifically mean to his face. They saved those thoughts until it was only me they were unleashing their fears and frustrations on. Everything else was just a snide comment here and there.
“It won’t hurt you to go more than a minute without being connected to each other,” my mom said with a sigh when we walked into the Dixons’ kitchen.
Like that.
Beau’s hand slipped from my waist, but I curled my fingers around his, refusing to lose that connection.
Hunter looked from my parents to me, clearly biting back a laugh from where he was now carrying Madison on his back.
“Leave ’em alone,” Mrs. Dixon said, slapping playfully at my mom’s arm before going back to the food she was prepping.
“What’s your problem?” Hunter asked suddenly, stare just past me.
I turned to see Cayson halfway between the kitchen and entryway, expression strangely withdrawn.
He shrugged. “Trying to get away from the trio. Everywhere I go, they’re there, laughing and being loud as all get-out.”
Hunter released Madison’s legs and turned to face his mom, gesturing toward the ceiling. “Em and Leighton are upstairs again?”
“I’m perfectly aware.”
A laugh that bordered on frustrated burst from him. “Why is it that the no-girls-upstairs rule has never once applied to Saw?”
Their mom released an amused breath before waving toward the ceiling. “Because that’s different. Y’all know it is.”
“Except it isn’t,” Hunter argued.
She gave him a warning look but still explained, “For one, it’s Emberly. Two, there’s nothing Sawyer and Leighton are gonna get into trouble doing when she’s there with them.”
Cayson huffed and mumbled, “Yeah, okay,” before heading for the front door.
“And three—and most importantly might I add—I am your mother. I make the rules. Now, if you still wanna go out tonight and don’t wanna lose certain privileges right before school starts, I would maybe just say ‘yes, ma’am’ and get that back-talking behind out of my kitchen until dinner’s ready.”
“Yes, ma’am,” Hunter said softly and reached for Madison. “But the girls wanted to say bye.”
Mrs. Dixon’s face fell. “Oh, what? Y’all are leaving already? Both of y’all?”
“Yeah, my momma’s expecting us for dinner,” Madison explained.
“And we have to be up early for all-day cheer practice, so I’m staying at her place tonight,” I added.
“Well, we’ll miss you girls around the table.” She looked pointedly at Beau and Hunter and teased, “Some of us much more than others, I’m sure.”
Beau simply ran his thumb along my knuckles in agreement.
The action alone had chills erupting all over my body and my breath catching.
Madison eagerly accepted one of Mrs. Dixon’s hugs, but my mom caught my eye and sharply signaled me to her.
I went. My feet moving automatically and my body tensing when my dad’s suspicious glare shifted from Beau to me just as I passed him.
Mom looked around, either to make sure no one could hear us or no one was watching, and harshly whispered, “Where is he going?”
I blinked slowly and started turning to see who she was talking about, but she grabbed my hand in a silent command to stop.
“Wendy said Hunter was going somewhere tonight.” One of her eyebrows lifted meaningfully. “I know that boy, Savannah. If he’s going somewhere, that means Madison is going too.”
My stomach clenched and a cool, crippling sensation stole through my body.
“If she’s going, that means you aren’t going to be where you said you were. Now, tell me. Where is he going?”
“To a party,” I said honestly. My tongue darted out to wet my lips that always seemed to dry out when I had these interrogation-type talks with my parents. “Beau too. It’s a last-weekend-before-school thing for all the sports teams.”
She stepped even closer. “And where will you be tonight?”
“At Madison’s.” I started pointing to where I could hear Madison talking behind me, but my mom pushed my hand down. “That party is for the sports teams only. But even if it wasn’t, we have to be at the school at six, and we’re there all day. We need to sleep.”
“If you need to sleep tonight, then it would be best for you and Madison to be apart.”
“Mom—”
She held up a hand. “I won’t do that only because Madison’s parents are expecting you for dinner and to give Madison a ride tonight and tomorrow. But Madison’s is where you better be with Madison only.”
I nodded as I stepped away, having heard the warning in her words.
They would be checking to make sure.
“I know, Mom.”
I turned without saying goodbye and found Mrs. Dixon waiting for me, understanding pouring from her. She spread her arms, and I fell into one of her warm hugs.
“Love you, sweet girl,” she said softly.
“Love you too.”
“It’ll be okay.” She rubbed at my back. “They just want what’s best for you, so they’re trying to protect their girl.”
I nodded as I pulled back. “Thank you for letting us come over.”
She scoffed. “Anytime. You know that.”
I gave her a gratef
ul smile, then turned, immediately finding narrowed blue eyes watching me. Studying me. Saying so many things and blaming himself for a dozen others.
I went to him, wanting to crush all that blame and feeling beyond ready for some space from everyone else so we could talk. So I could have my Beau.
But the moment my hand slipped into his, and he began leading me away, my dad said, “I think you can say goodbye right here.”
I smacked into Beau’s side when he immediately stopped, my head turning to look at my dad as disbelief swam through me.
Mr. Dixon clicked his tongue. “Don’t y’all think that’s pushin’ it a little far?”
“Christi,” Mrs. Dixon whispered in disapproval. “Let the kids at least say goodbye.”
“Our daughter, our decision on her privacy with boys,” my dad said, tone firm. “Besides, what do they need to say goodbye for? They say goodbye for five . . . ten minutes each time like they don’t see each other every day. There’s no reason for it. They can say goodnight here.”
When Beau turned around, his jaw was clenched so, so tight. The muscle there feathering under the pressure he was putting on it.
His hardened stare drifted over my parents before meeting me, looking at me like an animal trapped.
And I didn’t know how to help him. Not when we had four sets of eyes on us. Two of which belonged to my parents.
“I’m sorry,” I said under my breath.
His head shook so faintly I wouldn’t have noticed it if I hadn’t been as close as I was.
He reached for me, his fingers grazing my cheeks and his forehead falling to mine just before my dad snapped, “If I were you, I would think very carefully about how close you are to my daughter.”
“Jason,” Mr. Dixon said on a rough sigh, but it didn’t matter . . .
Beau had already stepped back. Arms falling heavily to his sides. Hands curled into tight fists. Looking like a mixture of anger and sorrow as he stared down at me.
All I wanted was to be held by him. To let the world around us fade away. But I was afraid to move, knowing if I so much as touched him, he would beat himself up even more than he already was.
“Now, just wait a second,” my dad began. “You have your views on what’s appropriate, we have ours. Respect that. As for the two of you . . .”
I slowly turned to face my parents, my own anger and humiliation rising as he continued.
“You’re too close. As your mom pointed out, you’re always touching in some way. It’s gone on too long and escalated too far. No more kissing. No more hugging and holding onto each other. Anything more than holding hands is unacceptable. Period.”
By the time he finished, I wanted to curl into a ball and hide. My jaw was trembling in response to the anger in my dad’s eyes as he pointedly stared at the boy standing tall behind me. Tears of frustration and mortification were filling my eyes, and I had no chance of stopping them.
Mrs. Dixon placed the tips of her fingers over her mouth like she was keeping herself from responding.
Mr. Dixon dragged a hand through his hair, then gestured to my dad as he spoke to Beau. “You heard him. Your momma and I gotta respect our friends’ wishes. You gotta respect your girlfriend’s parents. Understood?”
“Yes, sir,” Beau rumbled.
I turned to leave just as the first tear slipped free.
Beau’s expression fell, and he reached for me before quickly pulling his hand back, his fingers clenched tight and a harsh breath rushing from him.
“I love you,” I whispered, too soft for anyone else to hear.
“Love you,” he responded in that low, rough voice that always shot straight to my heart.
I wiped furiously at my cheeks as I left the house and hurried off the porch, Madison and Hunter barely separating to see who had come outside before Madison jerked back.
“Oh my gosh, what’s wrong?”
“I’ll tell you in the car.”
“Where’s Beau?” Hunter asked as he pushed off my car with Madison’s hips still firmly in his grip.
“Inside, following my parents’ newest attempt at keeping us as far apart as possible.”
“Aw, friend,” Madison whispered and reached for my hand.
Hunter sighed and looked to the house.
“Yeah, you should probably get in there,” I said as I headed for my car door. “There’s a lot of tension in there, and he’s surrounded in it.”
“Yeah,” he mumbled, then asked, “We still on for tonight?”
I gave a hard nod as I opened my door. “Absolutely.”
* * *
“It’s still so crazy to me that your parents do this,” Madison began later that night. “I mean, I’m not surprised because it’s them, you know? But still . . .”
A dull laugh tumbled from my lips when she sank next to where I sat on her bed, waiting.
Because I knew it was coming. Correction . . . they were coming.
With Beau and Hunter out, we all knew my parents would follow. Giving enough time for me to sneak off somewhere I wasn’t supposed be at—like a party I had no intention of going to—before checking on me.
And it was only a matter of time now, because Hunter had called Madison about an hour before, letting us know they’d left for the party. Starting the check-in countdown.
“Yeah, well, not everyone has super awesome parents like y’all do.”
Madison’s head slanted, her eyebrows pulling together with sympathy. “Mine can be strict too,” she said slowly, knowing it was a weak addition.
“You can tell your parents things,” I argued gently. “If you wanted to go to a party, you wouldn’t have to sneak out. If you wanted to spend all your time with Hunter, they would be okay with that.” I gestured toward the window. “Okay, so I feel bad for Leighton because her parents are always gone. But, like, Emberly is either in a bar or with Leighton and the Dixons because she literally has the coolest mom ever. And the Dixon house is basically perfection. They have rules, but they’re still extremely casual. I mean, I’m pretty sure Mrs. Dixon got choked up the first time she saw Beau and me kiss. What mom does that?”
A soft laugh escaped Madison. “Right? She probably wouldn’t be like that if she had four girls though. Like, my mom is totally cool about a lot of things, but if she saw Hunter kiss me?” The last was said on a whisper, her eyes widening as she leaned back, head shaking. “She’d freak. One hundred percent.”
“Yeah, but would she send you away?” I asked, my voice softening with a year-long bitterness. “Would they forbid you from even hugging Hunter?”
“No,” she responded after a minute. “Can’t—” Her lips thinned into a tight line.
“What?”
She hesitated before releasing a rough breath. “Can’t Beau talk to them? Be like, ‘Hey, y’all aren’t being fair,’ or something?”
A stunned laugh left me. “No. No, he can’t. They would . . .” My head shook quickly. “Madi, he’s so afraid, that he doesn’t even really talk around them.”
“I know,” she said, her face creasing like she was trying to figure out how to explain what she was thinking. “But it just doesn’t make sense. Beau . . . Beau Dixon . . . afraid of anyone or anything.”
“He isn’t afraid of them, he’s afraid of what they can do. You saw how fast I was gone last summer. He’s terrified that if he so much as says the wrong thing in front of them—let alone loses control—they’ll send me back to my grandparents’ until I graduate.”
Worry danced across her face as she nodded.
“You remember how bad it was when he told them he wasn’t gonna break up with me,” I said. “That fight between my parents and his.”
“Yeah. Yeah, you’re right.” She glanced to the side. “I guess it must be really hard for him between that and trying to prove to his mom that he doesn’t need to go to the military academy.”
“Yeah,” I whispered.
That.
Coming home last summer only to find out
I’d almost returned to Beau being eight hours away at the Marine Military Academy had shaken me to my core. It had put everything about Beau and our relationship on a delicate, razor-sharp edge.
One that we struggled every day to remain balanced on because the threat of either of us being sent away still lingered overhead.
Thankfully, his dad was very much on the side of not sending Beau away for now. But just loving Beau was reason enough for my parents to want me away from him. One wrong move, and I would be back in Utah.
I loosed a long sigh when my cell phone rang. “Surprise, surprise.” Flipping it open, I pressed the answer button and held it to my ear, “Hi, Mom.”
“Savannah, where are you?”
“At Madison’s,” I said slowly. “Remember, I’m spending—”
“Okay, we’re outside. Come here please.”
I should’ve probably tried to seem shocked or something, but I just stood from the bed and said, “Be right down.”
After ending the call and tossing my phone next to Madison, I gave her an exaggerated eye roll and headed for her bedroom door as Madison’s giggle sounded behind me.
I resisted the urge to fold my arms as I left Madison’s house and headed for the idling car, knowing it would only make them angry. But my irritation had to be written all over my face.
My dad rolled down the driver’s side window when I rounded the car, and my mom leaned over him, looking closely at me. Analyzing my pajamas, messy bun, and makeup-free face.
“What are the two of you doing in there?” she asked.
“Talking.”
“Who else is here?”
I slowly dragged in a breath before releasing it. “Her parents.”
“And?” she urged.
“I dunno. Maybe some ghosts.”
She scoffed and sat back in her seat, waving off my sarcasm. “Your sass isn’t appreciated, Savannah.”
“Yes, ma’am, I’m sorry.”
“Where’s your phone?” my dad asked.
“Up in Madison’s room.”
He glanced at the second story, looking like he was debating on making me get it before asking, “Has Beau called you tonight?”
“No. Why? Did something happen after we left?”
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