“Then I have some paperwork for you that I’ll get from my car, but that’s it for the will.” He stood, gathering everything in the envelope and offering us sympathetic smiles as we stood with him. “Thank you for your time. I am truly, very sorry for your loss.” With a glance at Hunter, he said, “I’ll be back.”
I watched until he was out of the dining room before turning on Hunter. “So, what, you’re just moving back then?”
“Didn’t hear you offer to take it, and someone has to.”
“And if I had?” I challenged even though there was no way in hell I could handle the ranch on top of everything else.
His stare drifted to the side and remained there when he said, “The ranch is mine.”
“What about the Army?” I said tightly. “What about Kansas and your fucking fiancée who handles all the shit that’s apparently not worth your time? Don’t you think you should run this past her?”
His stare had snapped back to me, a crease forming between his brows. “What are you talking about?”
A huff escaped me as I started to leave. “Whatever.”
He grabbed my shoulder, turning me back around without a care as to what I might do. “The hell is your problem?”
“My problem’s that my life is a hell of a lot easier without you in it.”
Hurt tore across his face before he masked it. “I’ve noticed,” he muttered. After a moment, he shrugged. “Then I’m not in it.”
“Boys,” Mom said, voice weighed down with exhaustion and emotion.
“Lost almost everyone else in my life, might as well keep it going,” he said bitterly. “Sawyer, you up next?”
“Leave him alone,” I ground out.
Confusion and anger flared in Hunter’s eyes as he stepped closer, but I kept my fisted hands down at my sides. Forced myself to breathe through the darkness creeping in. Thought about the feel of Savannah in my arms instead of the sick need coating my veins.
“I used to be your best friend. But you’ve pushed me away for years, then you stand up for Saw?” he asked, voice soft. “Fuck you, man. You wanna be done? We’re done.”
A vicious smirk tugged at my mouth as I forced myself to take a step away. “Enjoy your ranch.” Turning, I reached for Mom. “Come on, I’ll get you out of here.”
“She doesn’t have to go,” Hunter snapped from behind me. When I ignored him, he jerked my arm back from helping Mom up. “Don’t be an asshole.”
I snatched it from his grasp.
Body twisting.
Fingers clenched tight and muscles tensed in anticipation.
Chest heaving as I stared at him, arm slightly cocked back before I’d managed to lock it all down.
Fuck.
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
I forced each painful breath in and out until my trembling hand was at my side. Until I was turning away from him before I could do something I’d regret for the rest of my life.
“Beau—”
“She doesn’t wanna be here,” I ground out. “I told her I’d get her out, I’m doing that.”
Hunter ignored me, leaning around me to reach for her. “Mom, I don’t care what the will said, this is still your home.”
I slowly looked over at him, voice low. Lethal. “Was that ever in question?”
He exhaled heavily, nostrils flaring as he met my stare. But before he could say anything else, I led our mom out of the dining room just as the lawyer was coming back in.
“Is there anything you need before we go?” I asked her, watching as Sawyer bolted past us, heading for the kitchen.
“Make sure Sawyer gets the food for Leighton,” was all she said as she turned for the front door.
I didn’t answer, mostly because I was sure that’s what he was doing. I just waited until he came running back out with the bag Mom had been filling up earlier and stopped him with a hand to his shoulder. Searching his eyes that were at once haunted and exhausted as his body jerked anxiously.
“I’m driving you.”
“I’m good,” he said dismissively.
“You’re not.”
“I am, and you’re keeping me here when I need to be there. So, let me go.”
“Saw—”
“Let me the fuck go. I need to get to Leighton.”
I let out a slow breath, nodding as I did. Squeezing his shoulder, I mumbled, “Get some rest soon, yeah?”
He made a noncommittal grunt, running past me and out the door as soon as I released him.
I followed after, grabbing my mom’s purse as I went. Refusing to look in the direction I could feel Hunter’s icy glare coming from. Refusing to take one last look at the house I was afraid I’d never see again.
Once Mom and I were in my car and headed to the plantation house, she eased out a strangled sigh and said, “I don’t want to be there.”
“I know, Mom.”
“I can’t be there.” Her head moved in a mess of shakes and nods. “Hunter can have it. Anyone can have it. I don’t want it.”
“Mom—”
“I don’t,” she cried out. After a few seconds, she continued. Voice calmer . . . softer. “It’s too big. Too painful.”
“What about Sawyer?”
She stared out the window for a while before saying, “I’m not sure he wants to be there anymore either.”
“All right.” I cleared my throat. “I’ll talk to him. We’ll figure something out for y’all.”
“Thank you,” she whispered. “Now, please go make things right with your brother.”
I stared at the road, memories flashing. Racing. Threatening to pull me under and destroy what was so perfect in my world.
“Yeah, we’ll see,” I mumbled, the lie falling from me like poison.
* * *
The past few weeks played in my mind on repeat as I tore up the old kitchen floor a while later. Movements jerky and agitated as I battled the emotions tied to each hit to my family.
Savannah’s parents leaving.
Cayson disappearing.
Dad dying.
Hunter returning.
Leighton wasting away before us.
My family fracturing and falling apart from it all. And there was no fixing it.
Weeks . . . that was all it took for everything to shatter beneath me.
“Beau?”
My head snapped up at my name. My chest wrenched at the pain twisting that voice—her voice.
I dropped the scraper and pushed to my feet, already running out of the kitchen before the front door ever shut. Finding Savannah rushing through the entryway and grabbing her up in my arms just as she broke.
Her body jerking with a sob as she curled into me, her voice soft and small as she rambled, “Oh God, oh my God, how is this happening? Beau, she’s dying—Leighton’s dying.”
I stepped back until I hit a wall, then slid down to the floor while keeping her in my arms. “I know,” I said, voice tight as I lowered my head to hers.
“She’s so tiny, Beau. How did she hide that from everyone? And her parents just don’t care or don’t get it. Her mom opened the door and told me to keep it down while I was there since they were being forced to work from home now. I wanted to scream at her that, for once, their daughter needed to be more important.”
“They’ve always been assholes,” I reminded her gently.
“If they would just look at her, they would see how everything about her is so weak and fragile. She even—” Savannah’s head shook against my neck. “She fell asleep in the middle of a sentence,” she whispered as if it had terrified her.
I ran one of my hands up and down her shuddering back, trying so damn hard to be strong for my wife when the girl we were talking about had been a constant in my family’s lives since she and Sawyer were in preschool.
But there was nothing to say. We had all missed it because Leighton had wanted it that way, had manipulated it that way, and now we were too late. And my brother was putting that blame on himself.
“Did Sawyer get there?”
“Yeah,” Savannah said through shaky breaths. “He had a huge bag of food, and he looked—God, he looked so confident that today would be the day she kept something down. He’s so sure he can reverse what’s already been done. It’s breaking my heart.”
“I know.” I passed a kiss across her forehead before letting my head fall back against the wall as I continued that battle. As those flashes came faster and faster.
“I feel so heavy,” she mumbled a few minutes later. “My body, my heart . . . everything feels so heavy lately. How are we supposed to get through all this?”
“Together,” I said without hesitation.
Her fingers brushed against my cheek, and I turned my head to press my lips to them before climbing to my feet with her secured in my arms.
She didn’t protest or reveal her surprise. Just burrowed her head deeper against my neck as I started through the entryway and climbed the stairs, letting me carry her to our bathroom.
Setting her on the edge of the counter, I removed my arms from her slowly. Lingering. Holding and touching her to remind her that I had her. That I was still there.
That I wasn’t going anywhere.
“Stay,” I mumbled before pulling away and walking over to the tub. Turning on the water and waiting for it to warm up before putting down the stopper to let it fill.
An exhausted hum of appreciation sounded in her throat when I made it back to her, her golden eyes slipping shut as I stepped between her legs to hold her close.
“We’ll get through this together,” I repeated, lifting my hand to trail my knuckles down her jaw. “Just like we have everything else.”
“Okay,” she said softly, the corners of her mouth lifting.
Pressing a slow, lingering kiss there, I lifted the shirt off her body and let it fall to the floor before unclasping her bra and helping her off the counter. When I reached for her shorts, she grabbed the bottom of my shirt, but I stopped her.
“This is for you,” I explained when her stare met mine, all questions and need and pain.
“Will you stay?” she asked quickly. Eyes searching, pleading.
“Of course.”
Once the rest of her clothes were on the floor, I led her into the tub and watched as she slowly sank into the water. Each movement somehow graceful and sensual without her even trying.
Kneeling beside the tub when she rested her arm on the edge of it to look at me, I dipped my hand into the water to pour it over her arm and shoulder and breasts.
Another one of those appreciative hums sounded, her eyelids fluttering shut. “How did it go with your family?”
My hand paused just above the water before I cupped another handful. “My mom’s asleep in one of the guestrooms,” I said instead. When Savannah opened her eyes wide with surprise, I explained, “She said she couldn’t be there anymore. Too big, too painful. Said a few times on the way here and after we got here that she doesn’t wanna live there at all. That she thought it would be best for her and Sawyer if they got out of there.” I nodded, swallowing thickly as I tried to block out the image of my mom when I’d found her in the kitchen. “She might change her mind later. She needs to rest. Grieve. She went right into caring for Leighton—same as Sawyer. They’re both gonna break if they don’t slow down soon.”
Savannah nodded as she rested her head on her arm. “And if she decides to move out? What happens to the house?”
I focused on the water pouring out of my hand and over her skin for a moment before saying, “Hunter took it.”
“Took . . . what do you mean he took it?”
I heaved a sigh as I leaned forward to turn off the water, then sat back and held her stare. “Dad left the house—everything—to one of his sons. Well, Me, Hunter, or Sawyer, because Cayson wasn’t listed as one of his sons, and that slight had nothing to do with him leaving.”
Savannah’s mouth parted in shock, but sadness etched deep within her eyes. “Oh, Beau . . .”
“Whatever, he’s brought it on himself.”
“Beau,” she whispered, her hand reaching out to touch my free one at the pain in my voice.
I was pretty fucking sure I hated my brother.
His leaving after our party started a domino effect that was the cause of my world shattering. I was also pretty damn sure my dad would still be alive if Cayson hadn’t left.
But for Dad to have cut him out of his will over five years ago? I wasn’t even sure Cayson had gotten his first arrest five years ago, and even those had all been bullshit. If anyone deserved to be cut out, we all knew it was me for what I’d done and put my parents through.
As much as I hated Cayson, as much as I never wanted to see him again for what he’d done to our family, I’d felt bad for him during that reading.
With another weighted exhale, I told Savannah about the rest of the will reading. How everything had blown up between us when the orchard had been up for grabs and how we’d left it, then circled back around to how I’d found Sawyer and my mom when I’d first walked in.
“Maybe they should get out of there and let Hunter have it,” I said as I watched the water run from between my fingers and over her skin. “Might be too many memories for them to heal the way they need to.”
“How are you?” Savannah asked suddenly.
“I’m fine,” I responded immediately, stare darting to hers at the unexpected question. “I just wanna take care of you. Help you. And I need to find a way to help my mom and Sawyer before they break from all this, but I’m struggling to figure out how.”
“Because you need someone to take care of you too.”
I gave her an amused look, the corner of my mouth ticking up. “I’m fine.”
“You can’t take all this on by yourself, and no one expects you to. Together, right?”
“You and me,” I clarified. “My family needs me.”
“It goes for them too. Everyone will get through it together. But we all need you to grieve too. I need you to let things out. Slowly. Carefully. Otherwise?” Her words hinted at everything she wasn’t saying.
I would explode.
Her eyes danced when she reached forward to grip my shirt and pull me closer. “Let me help you with that.”
I brushed my mouth across hers. “It’s my job to help you.”
“Together,” she reminded me, lips capturing mine as she continued pulling me closer and closer.
A grin tugged at my mouth. “What’re you doing, angel?”
“Trying to pull your giant self in.”
A rumble of a laugh built in my chest. “Told you, this is for you.”
“Okay,” she said seriously, only moving back far enough to press her forehead to mine, her grip on my shirt never loosening. “I need my husband to get in this tub and start letting go of some of the pain and anger he’s keeping inside.”
I opened my eyes to find her studying me, silently begging me. My head subtly moved against hers. “You gonna let me take my shirt off?”
She tugged harder, bringing me closer to the tub, in response.
I reached for the button on my pants, and she quickly shook her head. “No. Get in.”
“Savannah—”
“Right now.”
I slipped my wallet out of my pocket as I captured her mouth, using the distraction to take off my Converse and socks before she could make another move.
“That’s cheating!” she said with a shocked gasp, looking all kinds of offended as she hauled me closer. Succeeding in pulling me over the tub and nearly getting me inside, but I hurried to grab the sides so I wouldn’t fall on her.
Staring at her as I held myself above the water—above her—in my shirt and jeans.
“This is what I need,” she said resolutely. “This is what you need.”
“You’re going to pay for this in so many ways,” I promised, the rough words raking up my throat.
Heat flared in her eyes and a blush crept up her cheeks as she sank deeper into
the water.
I slowly lowered myself in, a gravelly laugh breaking free at the uncomfortable feel of it all. Once I was in, I grabbed my wife and situated us so she was stretched out above me, water sloshing over the tub and onto the tiled floor as we moved. But then I had her in my arms, all bare skin and deep breaths and contended sighs, and I wasn’t sure a moment could get much better than that.
“Better?”
Her eyelids shut as she burrowed deeper into my chest. “Mmhm.” Placing a hand against my soaked shirt, she said, “Now, tell me how you’re really doing.”
“Perfect.”
She tapped my chest. “Here.”
I leaned my head back against the lip of the tub and let my eyes close too as a heavy sigh left me. All my pain freely bleeding as I let myself feel. “I’m fucking wrecked.”
I glanced around the side of the bedroom I was facing, my heavy eyelids blinking slowly as I tried to orient myself when the room was darker than it had been when I’d lain down.
I wasn’t even sure when I’d fallen asleep, only that I felt different. Better. All that heavy pain I’d been struggling under no longer seemed to be bearing down on me and filling me. The hurt and their betrayal all lingered in ways that felt manageable for the first time.
The day had left me mentally and emotionally lighter than I’d been in weeks. Yet, somehow, I was still exhausted.
And starving.
Emberly really was a genius.
I sat up, hand searching for my phone and curling around it when I found it near me on the bed. My heart dropping to my stomach when my stare skipped right past the time to the dozens of messages and calls I’d missed.
The previews showing more than enough.
I just can’t believe it . . .
Who would’ve ever thought . . .
How could he think he’d . . .
I hope you kick his ass to . . .
As much as those texts made my stomach clench, I knew they were unavoidable. That this was unavoidable. Truthfully, I couldn’t believe we’d managed over three weeks in a place where private business was town gossip the instant it happened.
A weighted sigh fell from my lips as I ignored the countless messages to text my mom. My finger paused over the screen when I pulled up her messages, my chest warming and a soft laugh tumbling free when I saw the picture she’d sent not long before of the older kids eating massive bowls of ice cream as Levi tried to snag Wyatt’s spoon.
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