Awaken, Shadows of a Forgotten Past

by Marcia Maidana

  The urge to leave the breakfast room was unbearable. I was infuriated by his boldness, but he wouldn’t win. If he thought to hush me again as he had done in the past with his unnecessary provocations, I would show him better. I hurried to answer him before father came back to his seat. “Of course, now that I think about it, you obviously aren’t used to a nice breakfast table either. You might want to practice a little refinement instead of eating like you were in the stables.” I pursed my mouth in a self-satisfied smirk.

  “This looks very healthy,” observed father, giving the porridge on his plate a swift sniff as he returned to his seat.

  I was pleased with myself. I buttered my toast, making sure that I put a thin coat on it, and that the general noticed. I started to eat my toast and drink my tea going out of my way to use very delicate manners.

  Looking at my father’s plate, General Sterling announced, “It does look really good, I think I’ll have some myself,” and left to get some porridge. Surely, he did it on purpose, just to annoy me. He came back with an abundant portion, which I doubted he would eat, but I would enjoy seeing him try. When he sat back down, clearly pleased with his food, I threw a look of disgust his way.

  “I’m glad you have a good appetite today, Alexander,” father observed. “I’ve never seen you eat so well.”

  “No, I usually don’t eat or sleep much—it must be the refreshing air of Forte Radici…” He glanced at me. “I went for a long run in the forest early this morning.”

  “Oh yes, that would do it,” my father agreed.

  After a while, when I was about to excuse myself from the table, their conversation turned serious, and so did General Sterling. This side of his personality I hadn’t seen yet, and without even realizing it, I remained in the room.

  After all in my father’s presence, the young general behaved in a polite manner, obligating me to respond accordingly. Awkwardly, we discussed many different topics, from politics to religion to warfare. Taken aback by his calm voice and clear mind, I stayed with them much longer than I had expected. But when my father stood to leave the breakfast room, I was swift to beat him to it. I wouldn’t be left alone with General Sterling.

  The afternoon found me restless. The primitive side of me urged me to stay in seclusion. The rational side of me urged me to get over it. “This is ridiculous,” I reproached myself. “I’m hiding in my own house.” Afraid of what? Perhaps of my own self.

  Somewhere in the debating process, I reached a compromise with my ego.

  After changing into riding clothes, I pressed my ear to the door, listening for any sound in the corridor. I wanted to avoid that man at all costs. Encouraged by the total silence, I ventured out.

  I inhaled deeply and shut my eyes tightly for an instant, hoping that when I opened them he would’ve disappeared. No, of course not, luck left me the day he had set foot in Forte Radici.

  General Sterling stood outside Lucca’s room facing my direction, his shoulder resting on the wall. Retreat was not possible—not if I wanted to keep my pride. At once I noticed that he wasn’t wearing his full military uniform. Instead, he had a white, long-sleeved shirt on, only buttoned halfway up. Why did this insufferable man have to be so handsome? I’m sure women swooned for him on a regular basis. He certainly had the air of one accustomed to charming his way to anything he wanted. He had another thing coming if he thought I would be so easily conquered. I put on my stone mask and braced for combat.

  “Are you holding the wall in place, lieutenant?” I mocked, doing my best not to look at his unbuttoned shirt.

  “No, I was waiting for you.”

  “For me?” I feigned ignorance.

  “See this?” He stretched his hand forward to show what he was holding.

  “It’s a button.”

  “It fell off my shirt.” He pointed to the empty spot where it had fallen from. I stared at the button blankly. “Can you sew it on for me?”

  “I beg your pardon.” I couldn’t believe what he had just asked. “That’s a maid’s job, not mine,” I answered in a disgusted tone. Who did he think he was? More importantly, who did he think I was?

  “You don’t know how to sew,” he challenged with a chuckle.

  “Of course, I do. That doesn’t mean I would ever consider the outrageous idea of sewing a button on someone else’s clothes,” I sputtered, “especially not yours.”

  “You must not know how to sew, for if you did, it would be a pleasure for you to do it for me,” he bragged, totally convinced of his ridiculous statement.

  “It must be the war,” I whispered, answering my question from this morning.

  Smoothly, General Sterling positioned his body in front of me forcing me into the wall. “No, it’s not because of the war, Miss Contini, nor was I born simple-minded. I assure you, I’m very intelligent.”

  “That’s debatable, lieutenant.”

  “Stop calling me lieutenant,” he demanded, and placed his hands on the wall on each side of me. I was trapped.

  “Not a chance.” I gave him a challenging smile.

  “I shall make you then,” he whispered in my ear.

  “I’d like to see you try, lieutenant.” I felt the warmth of my breathing hit his chest and travel back to me. My heart palpitated with increasing force under the influence of new, unknown emotions. I needed to run away from him.

  To my greatest relief, a maid appeared from the top of the stairs, saving me—I feared to discover what the lieutenant had in mind as a response to my provocation. Immediately, General Sterling took a step back, giving me an opportunity for escape, and I slipped out of his reach.

  “Lieutenant Sterling needs a button sewn back on his shirt,” I said to the maid as we passed each other.

  “Yes, miss.”

  I didn’t turn to see his reaction but hurried downstairs and outside.

  “Where are you going?” Mrs. Allerton was coming from the flower garden with a basket of damask roses.

  “For a ride with Sunny.” I headed toward the stables to get my horse.

  “This late and all alone?” Mrs. Allerton called after me.

  “It’s not late. I’ll be back soon.”

  “Why don’t you invite General Sterling to join you?”

  “Perhaps another time.” As soon as pigs fly.

  “Don’t be late—take care of yourself.” Her voice faded as I entered the stables.

  Sunny and I made our way through the quiet forest. As we rode, I felt the freedom that comes from being out in nature; the freshness of the air, the rustling of the leaves high in the tree tops, the soft caress of the breeze. This was the perfect place to hide from my insecurities, from my feelings, from him.

  Sunny stopped and stamped, calling for my attention. “It’s all right, girl.” I patted her neck in reassurance. Her head turned to the side, ears intensely focused on whatever had disrupted her. A chill climbed up my spine; I had the strong impression that we were being watched. The forest could be treacherous, concealing, the perfect ally to the unwanted. My father had taught me that much. I was on edge, but wouldn’t allow fear to surface. My best weapon was confidence. I had to stay focused until I could exit the trees safely.

  Reluctantly, Sunny moved on. When a clearing came into view, I dismounted by the overflowing brook, relieved to be out of the density of the forest. I bent down by the stream to touch the water while Sunny drank next to me.

  An earsplitting shot filled the air. Sunny fled in a fright. Startled, I fell into the water with a muffled cry.

  “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know you were here.” General Sterling extended his hand to help me out of the water. I didn’t make the effort to reach for his hand, so he came into the water and lifted me into his arms. “Are you hurt?” He placed me down on the dry ground. I looked up at him and felt an undeniable urge to kiss him taking over me. The strong desires I had for him were novel, something I’d never experienced with any of the local boys that sometimes flirted with me at social gatherings.
“Are you hurt?” he repeated, noting the expression of confusion on my face.

  I wanted to answer that I was fine, but the words got lost somewhere on their way out and were replaced by very different ones. “What the devil were you doing?” I demanded angrily and looked down at my wet clothes.

  “I’m sorry. Here, you can wear my shirt,” General Sterling offered. He started to unbutton it.

  “No! Are you insane? Keep it on! What’s this obsession with unbuttoning your shirt?” I snapped, afraid of what would happen if he did. “And do tell me, what were you doing?” My loud voice resounded in the trees.

  “Hunting,” he answered, suppressing a smile. Awareness dawned on me of the double meaning in his words, and I shook my head. “Seriously, there was a feral boar in those trees,” he lied shamelessly.

  “That’s not a hunting rifle,” I accused, looking at his pistol.

  “I can hunt with any gun I want.”

  “You scared my horse away!” I realized that it would be a long walk back to the house, especially dripping wet.

  “I can give you a ride.” He whistled loudly. In a matter of seconds, his horse appeared.

  “How convenient,” I said under my breath.

  “Come on, let’s go. I’ll help you mount.”

  “I’m not riding with you.”

  “Why not? What are you afraid of?” Amusement glittered in his eyes. “You can ride in front. I promise I’ll only hold on to your waist.” His proposition galled me; a true gentleman would have gladly given me the privilege of riding alone.

  “I’m General Contini’s daughter, and I will ride your horse back to the manor. You can walk. That’s an order.” General Sterling laughed at my command.

  “You can ride with me,” he said, ignoring my request, “or you can be the one who walks. It’s your choice.”

  “Are you threatening me?” I couldn’t believe his nerve.

  “No. I’m giving you a choice.” General Sterling prepared to mount.

  “I’ll walk.”

  “Well then, if that’s what you want.” He mounted his horse and started through the trees. “Goodbye, my lady.”

  “You can’t be serious—you can’t leave me to walk! You scared my horse away!”

  He vanished into the thickness of the forest without looking back. I stomped my feet and cried out in rage. His actions were beyond belief.

  I made the long way back to the manor, shivering more with fury than from my dunking. Who did he think he was? That arrogant jackanapes! I didn’t care that he was the apple of Father’s eye. Someone had to put General Sterling in his place. My father would hear about this.

  My sodden clothing coupled with outrage at the general’s cavalier treatment of me made for a miserable walk home. By the time I finally cleared the forest and saw the manor, my eyes were stinging with tears of anger, but at the sight of home, I took a deep breath and blinked my eyes dry.

  “What happened to you?” Mrs. Allerton asked in a startled voice as I entered the kitchen. General Sterling and a couple of soldiers were seated at the table, laughing over their drinks. He gave me a smug grin. Right then and there, my plans completely changed. I wouldn’t let him have the satisfaction of my humiliation, not again. Resisting the initial pull of an uncontrolled retaliation wasn’t as hard as I reflected on a much better tactic of attack; a direct derision from me would hurt him more.

  Mustering all the spiritual benevolence I could, I answered Mrs. Allerton in a dignified tone. “Nothing—why?”

  “Your horse came back earlier than you and…” She touched my blouse. “You are all wet.” Mrs. Allerton studied the expression on my face for a moment. I suppressed all emotions; I was in total control. “Your father was just about to send General Sterling to look for you.”

  “We were very worried about you, my lady.” General Sterling rose from his seat. His hypocrisy was a masterpiece.

  “Thank you for your concern Lieutenant Sterling, you are most polite. I just happened to encounter a wild pig in the woods. It scared Sunny away. But luckily I got rid of it without any problems.” I enjoyed the stunned look on his face.

  “A pig?” Mrs. Allerton repeated in an alarmed tone.

  “Well, now that I think about it, it wasn’t a pig. It was an ugly, oversized wild boar,” I stated convincingly, an expression of horror in my eyes.

  “Oh, Florence—a wild boar! They can be very dangerous,” Mrs. Allerton exclaimed. “I told you not to go alone. The forest can be a dangerous place.”

  “You can say that again.” I glanced at the general. He stood rigidly, his gaze fixed on me. “But I did enjoy the peaceful walk back to the house—in solitude.”

  “You better go change,” Mrs. Allerton urged, “before you get sick.”

  “I think I’ll be sick anyway after seeing that horrible beast. You should’ve seen it,” I addressed Mrs. Allerton. “It had gigantic, thick, disgusting feet.” Instinctively, General Sterling looked down at his feet. My barbs had found their target, and the taste of victory was sweet.

  I wouldn’t have traded a million pounds for the feeling of gratification I felt beholding the expression of drowning self-confidence that took hold of him. Barely containing my glee, I continued, “Oh, Mrs. Allerton, its hideous head and big mouth will give me nightmares for years to come! My father should do well to rid the place of such horrible creatures.” I felt General Sterling’s eyes piercing my back as I left the kitchen.

  “You only need to avoid the man for one more night,” I told myself. How difficult could it be?

  Tomorrow, the soldiers would leave Forte Radici, among them General Sterling. But tonight, I had to endure a departing dinner, which in reality was an excuse for my father to invite some of the most prestigious people from around the area to dine with him.

  “Florence, are you ready for me?” Mrs. Allerton walked into the room.

  “As ready as I’ll ever be.” It had been a mad house all day long with people coming and going.

  I sat in front of the mirror while Mrs. Allerton parted my long hair into three sections and began pinning and twisting them into a complicated pompadour and psyche knot style. She finished with an ornately beaded headband.

  “You look stunning!” she declared, justifiably proud of her handiwork.

  When I stood up, she smoothed out my dress; a deep twilight blue accented with silvered beads, and gushed over me. “Won’t you be turning heads tonight. Perhaps one in particular?” I ignored her hint. I most definitely wasn’t interested in turning General Sterling’s head—unless it was on a platter.

  I descended the marble steps in slow motion, both hands pressed on my dress lifting it off the steps. A few steps from the foot of the grand staircase, I paused to survey the reception hall.

  There were many people broken into small chatting groups. Closer to the landing, among the group of soldiers all dressed in their military uniforms, stood General Sterling, his back toward me. Taller than most men, he was impossible to miss, but I was determined to avoid him as much as possible. One night, I reminded myself. By tomorrow, life would be back to normal.

  A red-headed young soldier caught sight of me, fell silent, and smiled. I remembered seeing him in the company that had arrived with my father. Following the gaze of the young soldier, General Sterling turned in curiosity. There followed a sort of ripple effect, whereby all the guests turned to look at me. I held his deep eyes for a second before deliberately looking away. When my feet touched the bottom step, I exhaled in relief.

  Short-lived relief. General Sterling immediately stepped forward to greet me. “My lady.” He bowed down to kiss my hand as if we were best friends.

  A sudden thought like lightning struck me; this was all a deliberate ploy on his part to increase his status; accompanying General Contini’s daughter was a privilege few soldiers had. He’d take advantage of the fact that I was forced to conduct myself in an appropriate manner in such a setting.

  “Good evening, general.” My
voice was emotionless. Two could play this game, but I would win.

  The red-headed soldier introduced himself in all eagerness, “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Miss Contini.” He took my hand and kissed it. “My name is Thomas Frankfort. I’m afraid we haven’t formally met yet,” he grinned. General Sterling gave him a stern look.

  “I’m afraid not, Mr. Frankfort.” I beamed back.

  “Please call me Thomas.”

  “The proper way to address him, Miss Contini, is Captain Frankfort,” General Sterling interrupted. Did I see a brief shadow of jealousy cross his face?

  “Only if you call me Florence,” I answered Thomas, purposely ignoring the general’s remark.

  “That’s a deal.” Thomas’s face lit up. “May I have the honor of escorting you to the dining room?” Thomas extended his arm out to me.

  “Certainly.” I smiled widely.

  General Sterling swiftly positioned himself between Thomas and me.

  “Captain Frankfort, I’m sorry to disappoint you, but the honor of escorting Miss Contini to the dining room will be mine.” His tone was a direct command. I looked at him in shock. I wasn’t the only one startled by his tone and determination; the nearest two groups turned to look at us with curious eyes. To make matters worse, I saw Mrs. Allerton observing me from the other end of the foyer. Completely handicapped by the situation, I bit my tongue and refrained from speaking my mind out—the time would soon come when I would make him pay.

  “Yes, sir,” Thomas responded taking a step back. A look of acknowledgement as if he had crossed into prohibited territory filled his countenance.

  General Sterling placed my arm in his, and we walked through the large crowd to the dining room.

  The dining room was no less suffocating with people than the rest of the manor. The bright candles placed across the massive table made the room shine in splendor. People hovered around the smaller tables along the back wall, where drinks to please every palate were being served.