by Desi Lin
JJ caught the rebound and sent the ball right back up. Not as well defined as Souta’s, his lean muscles glistened with sweat as they moved. My mouth watered as I watched him. This time the ball swooshed through the hoop to the cheers of his teammates. He glanced over his shoulder, dark bangs swinging across his molten gold gaze as he caught my own and winked. JJ exuded an aura of sensitivity combined with pure guy that I found hot as fuck. Butterflies erupted in my stomach.
I found them all attractive physically, but as I watched them, and the other girls hanging around, I realized JJ seemed to be the one the other girls fawned over. He didn’t garner all the attention. Some blond, blue-eyed charmer who seemed a little too loose with his winks and grins received more attention and a ton of sighs. Stupid girls. JJ seemed to get his fair share of attention, although I’m not sure he noticed.
A snicker next me drew my gaze from the guys to a gaggle of giggling girls. I assumed they focused on the guys playing ball, and then one of them shot me a glare, and I caught another snicker.
Shit. They caught me staring!
Quickly, I lowered my gaze and dug around in my backpack for a distraction. My fingers closed over my cell, reminding me I still needed to call May about Aguirre. I couldn’t do it in class, even lame-o PE, but I could shoot off an email.
My fingers flew over the keyboard as I retold the morning’s events, but I hesitated over the send button. I already bugged May once this week about Aguirre. Yeah, the shit this morning blew the lid off last night, but it still seemed a little like whining to report her again.
If I ignored the morning’s events what had she really done? Laid down a bunch of restrictions on someone she believed to be trouble. Instead of sucking it up, I went and complained. She’d been angry, and my record and reputation tended to speak for me. Everyone lost control on occasion.
I stared at the email. Suddenly what seemed like a concise report moments ago glared at me in one big, whiny, ranty, take-care-of-me, poor-me complaint. Did I need May to deal with this? I turned eighteen soon, practically an adult! On my own my whole life, I have been handling my own issues since I hit my first Illustratio at five, when some towheaded boy decided to knock me into a mud puddle. Ten minutes later, he sported a black eye and wore only underwear, while I sported clean clothes a little big for me.
Aguirre held authority over me, and I needed to acknowledge it.
I deleted the email as the bell rang and took off for the dorms. The boys would try to come over and talk or something, but I didn’t want to talk or make friends. I liked being on my own. Besides, I didn’t need anyone else.
I slammed through the door of the Ignis dorm and down the hall to my room. First I needed to begin my homework and then figure out what to make for dinner to share with the demons-in-training I dormed with.
I never managed either.
Aguirre must have a sixth sense, or an alarm or something, because she stormed into my room seconds behind me. Her hand flew out, snatching up the phone I put on my desk.
“Fucking brats. I give up my life to watch you ungrateful creatures, and does anyone care? No, they saddle me with some little bitch who thinks she’s hot shit. Stupid brat.” She spat her words at me, and I cringed at the stench of onions on her breath. I hate onions.
My fists curled at my sides as she slid my phone into her pocket. I didn’t deserve the way she treated me. I might be labeled a troublemaker, but this seemed over the top for keeping me in line. When I reported her to May I knew I challenged her authority but this seemed to be more. I refused let some self-important bitch take her issues out on me.
“You’re the bitch!” I screamed at her.
The crack of her hand across my cheek made my head spin, and my temper rise. I lunged, fist flying, only to be caught by her large hand. Her other hand grabbed a fistful of hair and yanked hard. I bit my tongue to keep from crying out and fought against her hold, but she bent me backward until I thought I might either fall to my knees or snap in half. The hand holding my fist twisted my arm down and to the side. My body screamed from the position she forced me into but I refused to give it a voice. She sneered at me, and the next thing I knew, her knee connected to my crotch.
A knee to the pubic bone fucking hurts, even without actual balls.
My legs gave out, and I hit my knees, Aguirre’s hold releasing as she sneered. “That’s exactly where you belong, on your knees in the dirt. Scholae Jones and Sage Maybelle think they know better than me. I’ll bring you in line or break you, but I’ll show them who’s right.”
A plastic bucket hit my head, and I winced, sponges and rags flying around me. A plastic bin with a couple spray bottles and other cleaning tools dropped in front of me, and I finally glanced up, gulping as I did.
“Today you’re going to clean the entire dorm, top to bottom.” A grin stole over her face. I shuddered at the sheer malice on it and the nasty gleam in her eyes. “And you’d better hurry, you have to be done by lights out.” She turned and strutted out the door, stopping only long enough to kick a vacuum I failed to notice in my direction. “And don’t forget the vacuuming. That ought to keep you busy.” Her maniacal laugh echoed as she walked out the door.
Fuck this shit! I refused to be her slave. I gritted my teeth through the pain still shooting through my crotch, rose and stormed out of the room, righteous fury burning my gut. From the corner of my eye, I saw some of the midgets scrambling back from the corner of the hall, a brave soul or two watching from the corner with wide, frightened gazes.
“I’m not your fucking slave! I won’t do all the cleaning, you bitch!” I screamed at her. She couldn’t force me to do it. She flew back down the hall, shoving me against the wall, an arm across my throat, cutting off my air completely. I clawed at her hand, fighting and kicking, desperate for air.
“Fine, then we spend the rest of today in the same way we began. How far can I push you before you break? I’d love to find out.” Her harsh words in my ear frightened me more than her bullying. I wanted to believe them to be empty threats, nothing more than her spouting off bullshit to scare me, but she proved she wasn’t afraid to get physical. I nodded as best I could, praying she took it as an okay to the cleaning I meant it as.
I fell to the floor as she released me, muttering as she started back down the hall. I knew she meant it. Evil glittered in her eyes. Hauling myself to my feet, I went back to my room to gather the cleaning supplies. I wouldn’t fight her tonight. There were worse things than spending an evening cleaning.
A part of me regretted not emailing May earlier, but at the same time I knew I needed to get myself out of this. I needed to be strong. I needed to be able to stand on my own.
CHAPTER FOUR
The warden continued her little vendetta against me. She at least knew enough to make sure my bruises could be hidden. She liked my arms, and I never thought I could be grateful to be living somewhere cold. No one questioned my long sleeves, not even Souta, Brooks, and JJ.
“Sera!” JJ’s voice rang down the halls. I pretended to not notice him calling me, but JJ caught up quickly, tugging my backpack off my shoulder. I released it with only a halfhearted fight. JJ continually sought me out between classes, and I become accustomed to his need to carry my bag. “Ready for lunch?”
“I prefer to eat alone, thanks.” Only partially true. In the past, I ate alone because I lacked a social circle, by my own choice, but I also didn’t want them finding out about Aguirre. I got myself into the situation by having an attitude which meant I needed to get myself out of it by just behaving and doing what she told me to.
“No one wants to eat alone,” JJ stated like a fact.
He reached out and patted my arm. I tried not to flinch as he caught a particularly sensitive bruise.
“Come on. Oh, and give me your cell.” He placed a hand at the small of my back and guided me toward the lunchroom while I sighed quietly.
“I lost it.” I shrugged, trying to ignore his frown.
Of all the guys, JJ seemed the most determined for me to be part of their little group. I didn’t know how to deal with all the attention he gave me. At the other academies, the kids avoided me, whispering as I walked by. To suddenly be the center of anyone’s attention made me uncomfortable. I didn’t want the attention. I didn’t need it. I liked to be alone.
Something pressed lightly against the back of my neck as I tried to focus on taking notes in science. Pretending not to notice, I began following the strokes in an attempt to guess what JJ drew there today. It became a bit of a game, albeit one JJ didn’t know he played. Eyes glued to Mr. Bearns to ensure he didn’t glance our way, I tried to guess when he might be nearly done, then swatted at his hands.
“Sorry.” Genuine contrition laced his tone. “You’ve got such a perfect canvas back here. Can’t help myself.”
I sent a glare over my shoulder, hoping it didn’t seem as halfhearted as it felt. The bell rang, and before I could even lean down, JJ snatched up my bag and headed out the door. Knowing he would be leaning against the wall outside the class, I rolled my eyes and followed him. Normally I found JJ grinning, eyes lit in gold, as he waited for me. While he still leaned against the wall, his usual grin appeared to be on holiday.
Instead, he tucked his hands in his pockets, head hanging and eyes downcast. He never seemed to be without a pen or pencil in hand before. In the last couple days, I watched him walk down the halls, sketching things into a pad he carried everywhere and navigating around obstacles and people without ever taking his eyes from the pad.
“Sorry about your neck,” JJ muttered, picking up both our bags and heading down the hall in the direction of my fifth period class.
Silence descended over our walk. I shuffled, uncomfortable with the odd tension in the air between us. When we reached my class, he handed over my bag and turned to keep going. I wondered if I finally managed to drive him away. I wanted it, then why did the idea of never being near him again send panic skittering through me? I shrugged it away, but then my eyes found an addition to my backpack. A cluster of flowers in red and orange, petals shaped like tiny flames, quickly sketched onto the front of my bag. I melted.
“Hey JJ?” I called after him. He turned, still despondent. “It’s okay, about the drawing thing, just um, try to remember it’s kind of hard to get it off if I can’t see the back of my neck, okay?”
His whole face lit up like a beacon, and he grinned again. Those stupid butterflies returned to my stomach. “Yeah, I will. See you after class, Sera.”
I sighed as I headed into practicum. I needed to keep my distance, but instead they seemed to be tearing down my walls.
~
JJ grabbed my wrist as I left the gym Friday. I twisted to his direction, spearing him with a glare. He grinned at me. Infuriating nincompoop.
“Got plans this weekend?” Those golden eyes sparkled as he flipped a lock of black hair out of his eyes. The damn butterflies made themselves known. I didn’t say anything as I slid my wrist out of his grasp and walked off. Though I couldn’t help glancing over my shoulder before I left the gym. JJ stood in the same spot grin splitting his face. He gave me one of those head bob things guys did, winked, and headed to the locker rooms.
I managed to make it to my room without an encounter with the warden and promptly locked the door. It didn’t always keep Aguirre out but sometimes she hesitated before coming in. Plus, it gave me some warning. Besides, I needed to catch up on my homework. The warden kept me busy with pointless chores and shit most nights until lights out. It made me decide to invest in a flashlight while in town this weekend, in order to work on homework after lights out. I might possess one hell of an attitude, but I took pride in good grades.
Somehow, I made it through to bedtime without a visit from the warden. I didn’t dare leave my room that night, even for dinner. If I didn’t have chores from the warden, I hid out behind my locked door. A large part of me missed cooking.
By Saturday morning, my stomach gnawed on my backbone. Quickly I stripped, did all the usual morning things and threw on some clothes for chilling. Later, I wanted to grab a few things from the store, but right now my stomach took priority.
I made it four steps out the door before a bruising grip nearly sent me to my knees. The searing pain, however, did. The fucking bitch was a heater, same as me! Elementum could be hurt by their element if someone else controlled it. And her years of experience over me, made her far more powerful.
Trying to tear my arm out of her grip, I pulled against her hold. Her fingertips sent pain shooting through me in pulses, and the smell of burning flesh warned me of burns as well as bruises. Still I struggled against her grip, fighting to keep from crying out. The warden thrust a piece of paper at me.
“You got some chores to do, little brat,” she sneered.
Going limp, I took the paper. I learned quickly to do the damn chores. It wasn’t worth the consequences of saying no. She released my arm only to grab a fistful of hair and yank hard before walking off.
The chores meant skipping breakfast. She was predictable, and I knew she would check on my progress in half an hour and what would happen if she disapproved of my work. As I walked out into the living room, salvation strolled through the front door.
I swear nothing could be as beautiful as those three boys when they turned their smiles on me. Light filtered through the door and seemed to surround them. Brooks’ arm rested on Souta’s shoulders, and all three of them laughed and smiled. I couldn’t remember a moment in my life where I was happy and carefree, strolling in the sun with someone close.
JJ raised his head, caught my eyes and grinned. He lightly smacked Brooks arm, and then jogged over to wrap me in a hug. I stiffened, the action taking me by surprise. I didn’t like being hugged. Even May didn’t do it after the time I went stiff and nearly passed out. I knew she wanted to, I could tell every time we met up, but casual touch never happened to me. I didn’t know what to do with it or how to react to it.
I pulled out of JJ’s embrace, smiling to take away the sting as I wrapped my arms around my middle. He didn’t seem bothered, though.
“What are you guys doing here?”
Footsteps behind me made me stiffen again. I knew the stride and it never led to anything good.
“We want to take you out, introduce you to Marysville.” Souta beamed at me.
I cast a wary glance backward, though the warden remained out of my line of sight.
“Miss Embers, a word please.” Her clipped stride faded back down the hall. I swallowed hard, my smile falling.
“Give me a sec, ’kay?” I turned without waiting for the boys’ response, following the steps. I didn’t want to, but I refused to find out what she would or wouldn’t hesitate to do in front of them At least this way I could hide anything she did.
I tried to keep enough space between us to discourage her physical attacks. Sometimes it worked, not this time. Her hand whipped out and clamped hard around my wrist. I bit my tongue to keep from hollering as the skin under her hand seared and blistered again. My bones strained against the vise grip of her hand. She yanked me toward her, close enough for me to notice the gleam in her eyes turn manic. Her face changed, going from stern and bitchy to downright frightening. Faces like the one she wore now often peered out at me from the covers of some of the more disturbing biographies I read. A shudder ran down my spine.
“I can’t stop you from going with those boys,” she spat out.
Her grip tightened, and the smell of searing flesh assaulted my nose. I bit my lip to keep from crying out against the pain when she twisted my wrist.
“But I can make sure you regret it.” The snarl accompanied a fast, sharp yank and twist of her hand.
I couldn’t hold back the whimper or the tears as pain skittered through my bones, and she shoved me backward into the wall.
“Enjoy your day in town.” Her face twisted in cruel mockery.
As she walked away, I wondered if I witnessed the birt
h of a psychopath. Letting out a small sob, I cradled my swelling wrist, against my chest. I didn’t know how I would manage to hide my injured wrist from the guys. The warden didn’t make idle threats. She would make me suffer for this.
I shouldn’t go. I should stay and do the damn chores she wanted and lock myself in my room. She would make me pay either way. No way she would believe I didn’t arrange this. Gritting my teeth against the pain, I stumbled the few feet to my door, and shoved my way through, heading for the bathroom. Good thing I kept a stocked first aid kit.
A minute later I cursed as I dug through the kit only to realize I didn’t own a wrap. Shit! Now what? I leaned against the counter, staring at myself in the mirror. This morning I tied my blue bandana over my bright red hair, covering some of the earrings running up my left lobe. With torn tights under cut off jean shorts, motorcycle boots and a large, slouchy blue sweater, I knew I gave off a bit of a punk vibe. Inspiration hit, and I went over to my jewelry box, digging around until I found what I searched for. I wrapped the wide, royal blue leather strap around my injured wrist and pulled it snug through the catch. Embossed with flames and flowers, and long enough to wrap several times around my wrist, it made a halfway decent substitute for a wrist wrap.
Experimentally, I turned my wrist. Pain shot through it, but the squeeze of the leather wrap helped a bit. Unlike when I broke my ankle, my wrist only swelled a small amount. I likely wouldn’t be doing a whole lot with my wrist for a while, though. I popped a couple ibuprofen, using my hands to catch a little water from the sink to wash them down. A quick glance in the mirror assured me nothing stood out as odd.