by Desi Lin
“Behave, hot stuff,” Souta whispered and nipped my neck. I whined again and pressed into him. “The bond is new,” Souta panted softly. “It’s driving us right now.” Souta’s free hand stroked over my belly, and I moaned. “The first twenty-four hours are the hardest. It takes that long for the bond to settle.” A hand grazed my breast. “But know the fact I want this, want you, will not change.”
Souta’s mouth came back down on mine, tongue plunging in. He drew me tight against him, wrists still bound in his grip behind me, forcing our bodies together. Our mouths melded and meshed as our bodies writhed against each other.
And then Souta’s heat left.
Opening my eyes, I found Brooks, one hand gripping Souta’s wrist as he pulled him in.
Oh, Elements, what the fuck did I do?
Brooks’ arm slid around Souta’s waist and brought their chests together. Brooks gaze lifted from Souta and caught mine. I didn’t bother to stick around and define the emotion flaring in them.
Instead, I ran.
My foot hit the first stair toward the second floor, when a hand closed on my good wrist, and I stumbled.
“Wait.” Brooks soft, deep rumble spoke from behind me, an arm catching my waist to stop my downward momentum.
Ignoring the twinge of pain from my ribs, I tore out of his grip as soon as my footing stabilized and spun to face him. “I’m sorry.” My voice trembled, and I cringed. I wrapped my arms around my middle and stepped onto the first stair. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”
“Nothing, sweetheart. There’s nothing wrong with you.” Brooks stretched out his hand to me ,but I stepped up another stair.
Watching him snatch Souta away woke me up to the stupidity of my actions. Even as I stood there, horrified at my actions, the urge to find out what kissing Brooks would be like pushed at me. Would he be all dominating alpha, like Souta, or sheer need, like JJ?
“Please come here.” Brooks soft rumble came again, and I melted a little inside.
He never spoke without a purpose, preferred to stay in the background, but he saw more than anyone else. I walked back down the stairs, almost trancelike.
When I got within arm’s reach, Brooks gripped my hips and drew me against him. “I wasn’t jealous. I needed to tell him something.”
“What?” I wondered, confused by Brooks’ lack of fury.
He smiled, something slightly different than normal in it and lowered his head, bringing his lips next to my ear. His warm, moist breath sent a shiver down my spine.
“My turn.” Lips found my neck, drawing in the flesh and giving a hard suck, then moving over my jaw to find my mouth. One soft, swift press then he drew away enough to speak. “Tell me now to stop, otherwise I’m kissing you.”
I should tell him no, but I also knew I would regret not doing it. Instead I closed the tiny distance between us. Brooks kissed gently, our lips sliding together, slow and sweet. His hand cupped my cheek, the other still wrapped around my waist. Inviting him in deeper, I opened my lips. He traced my mouth with his tongue then gave a tentative thrust in. I met his tongue with mine, and they danced for a few slow, delicious moments before Brooks drew back.
Slowly coming out of my daze, I swayed toward him. I kissed all three of them, and I loved it. My brain seemed stuck on this one fact. It swirled around in my head, mixing with memories and trying to analyze feelings. I blinked, refocusing on Brooks.
He dropped his hands from me and stepped back, smiling. How he always knew what I needed, I didn’t know. “Go, beautiful. I’ll keep the wolves at bay for a little bit.”
On my toes, I pressed my lips to his in a brief thanks before turning and racing to my room. There was a need for time to myself to get my head together. Overnight I went from the girl no one wanted to the girl with three guys panting after her. I became accustomed to being alone, and now I needed to figure out how to be part of a group.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
If the mind is like a highway, mine had a lot of loops leading to nowhere. After locking myself in the room to ensure a couple hours of privacy, I decided I needed to know more than we learned in school. On my phone, I logged into the online site for the Elementum archives, otherwise known as the tabularium. Not everything contained in the archives could be found online but hopefully enough for my purposes. It didn’t take long to find what I wanted. Not as many as I hoped but I found enough to help me.
Joy coursed through me as I read a few accounts of polyamorous Genus’ and how happy they ended up being. No relationship can exist without a little trouble and these were well documented, in case others tried the same, but even with small conflicts they lived and loved happily. Then, I found a tale of a different kind. My breath came in short, quick gasps as I read. No matter how they tried, no matter what they wanted, it hadn’t been enough. They broke. A broken Genus, a Foederis, was the worst thing to happen to an Elementum, or that was what we were taught. Obliterating the earlier happy tales, I curled onto my side as the tale of the broken Genus ran through my mind.
There was no way to deny my emotions. No matter how nuts the Iunctura bond made me at the moment, when it settled I would still be incredibly attracted to all three guys. I still wanted to kiss them and try to date them but then what? If we tried a polyamorous Genus we risked a broken bond, we risked each other. If we didn’t try, what would happen then?
The attraction to the boys already burst into passion and blazed through me. What would we risk by playing it safe? And did I dare step out of my comfort zone? Being friends with them was a first, and I still needed to adjust to it, but to change the nature of our relationship entirely? Could I do it? Could I put myself out there in such a drastic way, risk my heart, for a chance at something incredible? With no answers forthcoming, I drifted into an exhausted, dream filled slumber.
I floated through the air, drifting along with no real direction. Wisps popped up around me with small lights shining from their centers. Warmth radiated from them, making me reach out in hopes I might hold one. They skittered away before my fingers reached them. I continued to float along, trying to hold one of the wisps.
A cluster of three caught my attention, and I drifted closer. They shone a bit brighter than the others around them. Their light pulsed, and I swore it pulled me closer. I reached out while holding my breath, their warmth infusing me, along with something more, the whisper of a promise.
My palm out flat, the wisps raced onto it, then down my arm. They whirled around my body, streaks of light glowing in their wake. I laughed, and they circled closer to me. Awed, I stood still and waited. They continued to circle my body, each rotation bringing them a little closer until they nearly touched me. I brought my hand back up, palm out. One of the wisps stopped, blinked a couple times then moved slowly to my open hand. The next one raced in, circling the first once before settling next it. The last wisp drifted down my arm making me shiver.
With my other hand, I extended a finger, wanting to touch them, to know them. They converged on my finger as one, circling it and skating along the length. They emitted warmth and happiness. They moved back and each started darting at my finger, over and over. Then they simply stood back and waited. Somehow I knew they wanted me choose, but choose what and why? I shook my head.
Red flashed in their centers and they darted at my finger again before darting at each other. I screamed, thrusting my hand between them in an effort to stop them. The red lights flashed faster and larger as they tried to reach each other around my hand. Warmth and promise no longer radiated off them. Instead only anger surrounded them.
After a moment, they went still, lights still flashing furiously. I held my breath, hope rising inside. The wisps bounced once, twice, and darted off in separate directions, their lights going out long before I lost sight of them.
The brush of soft hands, and the quiet whisper in my ear woke me. “Beautiful Seraphina, come back to us.”
A mass of blue tipped, blond curls encompassed my sleepy gaze, an
d I blinked to clear my vision. As the room came into focus, my gaze landed on Brooks perched on the edge of the bed, his fingers stroking lightly over the skin of my arm.
For a second, I wondered if he might be alone but then my eyes found JJ and Souta, both settled into chairs I knew weren’t in the room when I fell asleep. I found the distance between them interesting. In the short time I knew them, I realized they were close, and it showed in the way personal space didn’t seem to exist between them. Standing or sitting, it didn’t matter. They always stayed close to each other. Rarely did I observe a moment with Brooks and Souta in the same room and not touching. I sat up, careful of my injuries, and leaned against the tufted headboard. I still wanted to jump on Brooks, since he sat closest, but it wasn’t quite as intense as when we kissed on the stairs.
“I kept them away as long as I could, but they worried.” The soft rumble I found comfort in washed over me, and the tension leftover from my dream melted away. The scrape of wooden legs on floors told me the guys moved their chairs closer. “You seem upset.”
I sighed and drew my knees up, wrapping my arms around them. “I’ll be okay.”
Not wanting to burden them, I didn’t share my dream. What I wanted or what the best course of action was might not be clear to me, but it seemed as if the guys couldn’t wait any longer to clear the air.
“I guess we should talk.” I murmured, reluctantly. One thing needed to be addressed first. “How come you’re all sitting apart?”
Souta laughed and brushed back some his brown-black hair. “A fresh Iunctura messes with all bonds, not only between the newest person and the others. Unless you want to watch two guys making out, me touching Brooks is not the best idea right now.”
I chuckled and switched my inquiring gaze to JJ. “I don’t have the same issue as those two, obviously, but I am trying to keep my distance from you for the moment.” The desire in his eyes made me squirm on the bed and Brooks’ deep chuckle made me shoot a glare at him.
“What about you?” I asked.
“I have a bit more restraint than those two ever dreamed of having, but you may notice I’ve been careful to only touch you with my fingertips, and I’m nowhere near Souta.”
“This thing with the first twenty-four hours of Iunctura should really be taught in class,” I complained as understanding dawned.
Iunctura strengthened what already existed between members. It’s one of the main points they teach in the Iunctura class. It’s also the reason a group of Elementum bonded by Iunctura were called a Genus. Every emotion between Genus members ran deeper than for those outside the Genus. For that reason, romantic Genus’ pairings happened often, and the occasional failures ended badly.
However, in the first twenty-four hours of a new Iunctura, the bond needed to figure out those feelings, how the newest member connected emotionally with the others. Trying to figure out the new emotions between freshly bonded seemed to leave the Elementum on the world’s worst roller coaster.
“I don’t know why they don’t.” Souta stated, leaning forward and resting his arms on his knees. “I wished we at least got warned, though. Brooks and I were the first two, and we’d actually been on a couple dates when it happened and, well, let’s just say, neither of us is as innocent as he used to be.”
What did he mean by... Oh! As his meaning sunk in my gaze darted between him and Brooks. “You mean, you two? The first day? You—”
“Yeah.” For the first time ever, I watched as heat rose in Souta’s cheeks.
“That...Whoa.” I stumbled on what to say. That must have made things awkward afterward.
My gaze drifted to the silent form of JJ.
He grinned. “Luckily, they’d figured it out before my Iunctura. It wouldn’t have been the same for me to them, but they were careful to keep apart for the first twenty-four hours of mine. I love them, but I don’t need visuals of what they do behind closed doors.”
My laughter helped relax me a bit more. Silence fell, full of expectation. Ready to broach a topic I knew needed to be addressed, I took a deep breath. “Souta and Brooks you both, um...” I swallowed nervously, scared of their reactions.
“We know we both kissed you.” Souta grinned at me. “I know you're probably confused as hell, because you met us already in a relationship. Brooks and I talked about it, after you came upstairs. Before Iunctura, I already wanted you, but I never said anything to Brooks. If this hadn’t happened, I probably never would have. Nothing would come of my attraction after all since I already love Brooks. I’m surprised you didn’t notice my interest. I worried Brooks would notice and get upset. Turns out he knew but didn’t worry about it for two reasons: one, he trusted me, and two, he wanted you as well. Then Iunctura occurred and–”
“It was like someone turned the dial up to ten thousand,” Brooks rumble interrupted. “It’s hard to not touch you, to not kiss you when all I want is to dive in and drown in you.”
My breath caught at his words and the desire flashing in his eyes.
“They aren’t the only ones who feel that way.” JJ’s soft words drew my attention to him. He still sat, a bit stiff. “When I kissed you, in the hall, I almost didn’t stop when Souta interrupted us. I’ve never acted like that before with a girl. I’m sorry.”
I stared at him, shell-shocked. Why the hell would he apologize? I’d been right there with him every step of the way.
“Wow, JJ. I’m pretty sure you blew a fuse there, buddy.” Souta laughed, pulling me from my stupor and sending heat flooding my cheeks. I buried my face against my knees for a few moments in order to collect myself.
“I’ve only kissed a couple girls.” JJ shot Souta a glare promising retribution, which I caught as I lifted my head. “Not many girls ever sparked my interest, but I know my feelings, and let’s face it”—despite the confidence in his tone, a blush covered JJ’s cheeks—“my crush on you wasn’t exactly top secret.”
Souta nearly fell out of his chair, laughing. “Not top secret! Elements, JJ, you might as well have written in the sky in big, puffy white letters: JJ loves Sera!”
A red velvet pillow with gold tassels flew across the room and nailed Souta, and I giggled. “Fuck you, Sou.”
The unintentional rhyme made me giggle harder.
“As I was saying, I knew I wanted you before Iunctura. You were all I could focus on. Now, being in the same room with you might not be a great idea until the twenty-four-hour period is up.” My gaze met his, burning with desire. “What we’re trying to tell you, firefly, is we’d like to try it. We’d like to try all being with you.”
“I know you’re worried.” Brooks fingers brushed mine as he spoke. “But we talked about this before coming to you. None of us is at all uncomfortable with the idea of the others feelings for you. However—”
“There is me,” Souta spoke up. “As Brooks can attest, I seem to have a bit of a possessive streak, at least when it comes to him. I never expected to be able to act on my feelings for you, and I already knew how JJ felt, so I’m sure I can rein it in with these two. The idea of you and Brooks together, frankly, is hot as hell.”
His saucy wink made me shiver with pleasure. “I can’t promise to rein it in with anyone else. And I might get a little possessive of your time. But, hopefully, we’ll be spending a lot of time together as a Genus, and it won’t be a problem.”
“It depends entirely on you, beautiful. We’ll respect your desires” Brooks rumbled, fingers gripping mine in a light hold.
“I... I’m not used to friends or having anyone close. I don’t want to ruin our friendship but I can’t seem to stop from being attracted to all of you either. I don’t know what to do.”
I wanted this, but my fears screamed as loud as my desires.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
I cast my gaze around the room, before I caught sight of the letter left on my nightstand. “May left me this.” I reached over and grabbed the envelope. “It’s a letter from my mother. Would you stay while I read it?�
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I didn’t want to read it alone. Somehow I knew whatever the letter contained, I would need my guys with me. They nodded, and I tore the letter open, nerves skittering over my skin like a million tiny ants. The handwriting started out with strong sure strokes, but as it went on the strokes grew lighter, the lines on the lettering no longer straight.
You’re only minutes old and beautiful. I wish I could be there, to see what you look like now, a woman grown. But I caught the pity in the nurses glances when they think I’m not looking. I see the sadness in the doctor’s eyes. I won’t make it. I won’t be there to watch over you, to guide you, to tell you things I should. That’s why I’m writing this letter. There are so many things I wish I could tell you, so many tidbits of supposed wisdom I would have dished out, just to watch you roll your eyes because you knew I was wrong. So much I wanted you to know, to teach you, but there’s no time now. I’m sorry I wasn’t there, sweetheart. I’d love to leave all my lessons and wisdom in here for you but I know I won’t have time for that either. However, there is one thing I need to pass on to you.
I’ve asked the Sages to wait to give you this letter until you have a Genus or turn twenty-one, whichever comes first. I want you to have the support I never found when you read it. I hope you won’t be angry with me for holding out on you so long.
Your father was a good man. He was still grieving his dead wife when we were together. I was young and impulsive. I say it like I’m much older now, silly me. Neither of us was looking for anything more...permanent? Than a warm body and companionship. So, when I got a promotion that would move me across the country, he told me to go for it. I hadn’t found any of my Genus yet, and he was sure the move was meant to be, I’d find my Genus at last.