She’s not at all sure what to make of his strange reaction. “I don’t understand. Did something happen to you?”
Paul decides it’s best to just switch gears completely for now and get to the real topic they need to address—and he is now ready to face. “I think the real question is, are you okay? I went by to find you and saw Grace. She said you were upset. Then you left.”
“Yeah, I just started walking, not going anywhere in particular. I knew I just needed to go. But somehow I ended up here. Waiting for you . . . I’m sorry. I got your messages. I was concerned about you. But you seem, somehow, better . . . different?”
“Thanks. I am better. And different is accurate.”
“That’s good . . . Great.”
Sarah gathers some boldness, then looks straight at her husband. “Paul, I came here to apologize to you. I’m so sorry. . . . I’m sorry for how I hurt you.” She stares into his eyes, watching for any indication of a response to her heartfelt words.
The hope in Paul’s heart leaps up into his throat, but in his shock he can only look down in silence.
Assuming the worst about the look on his face, Sarah continues, “I’m just so . . . ashamed.” Her eyes well up and a tear rolls down her cheek. She quickly wipes it away as another starts to fall. And then another. Her normally bright countenance is now one of deep humiliation. Confession might well be good for the soul, but the pain in her heart disagrees with that saying right now.
Paul drops his bag on the sidewalk and sits on the step beside her. Instinctively, he takes her hand to reassure her. His fingers find their familiar place, intertwining and closing tightly inside hers, as he feels her fingers grip his hand in return. With his other hand, he tenderly wipes away a tear. The pain, regret, self-defeat, and betrayal begin to melt away as his love for Sarah is not only restored but also rising to a new place.
Sarah has come to have her final say, so she gathers more courage. “I loved you, Paul. I still . . . love you.” Her voice begins to break under the weight of the declaration and her actions coming to rest on her all at once. Unsuccessfully fighting back tears, she looks down, feeling she has said all she can and been completely transparent about her feelings and remorse.
Paul, still holding tightly to her hand, slowly turns to face her. She keeps looking down, as if trying to brace her heart for impact. He leans in to emphasize his words, saying with deep passion, “Sarah . . . I forgive you.”
Those were not at all the words she expected. She looks up, peering deep into his eyes, and reaches up to brush his hair back, like she’s done thousands of times before in so many of their intimate moments together. Not fully understanding the depth and finality of Paul’s expression of grace, almost in a whisper, she says, “Well, that’s all. I guess I should better get going.” She stands to leave.
“Wait, Sarah. There’s something else I need to say.”
She sits back down, confused, tears still streaming down her cheeks, then nods.
“What happened between us . . . I had a hand in it too. I made some selfish choices, got way too busy and distracted, and started shutting you out. Actually, I’ve shut everyone out. My struggles with my faith and my identity affected you in ways I’m sure I don’t even understand. So for my part in what caused us to fail, I’m sorry too. I apologize to you.” Before Sarah can respond, Paul presses, “I have to ask you something. Do you think you coming here today could be, well, is . . . some kind of sign?”
Sarah seems stunned.
“What do you think?” he asks.
She smiles as if to nonverbally voice a Yeah, maybe it is, but remains silent. His dramatic change has intrigued and mesmerized her.
He gathers up all his courage. “Do you think we could . . . Can we talk? Now?”
Sarah can’t restrain the flood of emotions any longer. She is full and ready to let the dam break, releasing the floodwaters that need to go under their bridge. Choking up, she looks into his eyes again, somehow deeper than she ever has before, and finally finds the words to respond. “Why, yes, I would really like that.”
Paul smiles, gazing at his wife in the hopes of somehow removing every ounce of pain from her heart—and his own. “Okay, great. Let’s go in . . . Let’s go home.” His heart is overwhelmed with emotions as well. But in this moment, they’re all the good kind, the kind that life, death, fear, betrayal, war, and pain had stolen and he thought he might never experience again.
Sarah stands and begins to take the final four stairs into the brownstone.
Paul descends to the street to grab his bag and helmet, but then stops. The realization of the past three days hits him—all the struggle, doubt, questions, and frustration he experienced in his interview with God. A wide smile sweeps across his face as he looks up to say, “Sarah.”
She stops in the doorway to look back.
Staring into her soul with a renewed sense of life lighting his face, Paul confidently confesses, “I love you too.”
Sarah wipes the last tears away, displaying the kind of smile that only the forgiveness of a covenant love can bring to a heart ready to receive and extend grace.
As she enters the foyer and disappears up the stairs to their apartment, leaving the door ajar for him, Paul hears Bobby, the super, call out to her from the hallway, “Sarah! Great to see you, and glad to see you’re doing well again from being under the weather. Miracles happen every day, don’t they?”
Paul laughs at the obvious irony in Bobby’s words. As their super, the joy-filled man always seems to be speaking in continual metaphor, inferring life lessons to them as a young couple. Paul suddenly has suspicions about the superintendent’s identity.
Nah, surely not.
Paul grabs his gear and bounds up the stairs, but at the doorway, he abruptly stops and turns, looking around as if someone had called his name. As he takes a new look at the world, he doesn’t see anything in particular, except the miracle of a life that may appear the same on the surface but will somehow be quite different from this moment on.
And now Paul believes for certain in his heart of hearts in the miracle of the intangible and the invaluable of this life. That God is there. Present. Available. Engaged.
He looks up and whispers a quiet prayer, faint but aloud, “God, I see that having faith isn’t worth much if you don’t actually believe. I was praying, but I wasn’t looking for You. I was talking, but I wasn’t listening to You. I was demanding answers of You but wasn’t expecting anything from Your hand. The one question You asked that impacted me the most is, ‘What could you possibly do that is beyond My power to forgive?’ . . . So, yeah, God, after today, and especially in this divine moment with Sarah, I see it, I get it now. Sometimes . . . we are the miracle.”
Paul closes his eyes, holding his bandaged hand up, palm open, as if to feel something. Just then it returns, the distinctive otherworldly sound begins again but is somehow different this time. The voices become a growing symphony of harmony, resolve, peace, and hope—a living, breathing, vibrant hope.
Paul smiles, turns around, and closes the door behind him. While he’s walked into this building at least a thousand times, today feels like the entrance to his new life. And new love.
Early on a bright morning, a Thursday to be exact, just as the sun is starting to make its appearance over the horizon to escort in a new day to New York, a man pulls his car over and parks on Paul and Sarah’s block. He hurriedly gets out and pops the trunk, then gathers an armload of newspapers and starts to walk down the street, tossing just the right number of copies on the stairs at each building.
When he reaches Paul and Sarah’s stoop, he drops a bundle there. The paper is The Herald. On the front page, column four in bold print: “An Interview with God by Paul Asher.”
And somewhere, an editor and the Creator are smiling.
***
“I’ve told you these things for a purpose: that my joy might be your joy, and your joy wholly mature. This is my command: Love one another the way
I loved you. This is the very best way to love. Put your life on the line for your friends. You are my friends when you do the things I command you. I’m no longer calling you servants because servants don’t understand what their master is thinking and planning. No, I’ve named you friends because I’ve let you in on everything I’ve heard from the Father.”
—John 15:11–15 MSG
Life and Death are Non-Fiction
The World Health Organization tells us that 800,000 people die each year from suicide across the globe. In the United States alone, every day there are over 120 suicides. For each of those, there are twenty-five people who make an attempt. That means each day in the U.S. there are over 3,000 attempted suicides.
In 2013, the United States Department of Veterans Affairs stated that twenty-two veterans die by suicide every day. That’s one in every hour and five minutes. So, of the 120 suicides each day in the general population of the U.S., twenty-two of those are veterans who gave up hope after faithfully serving their nation and returned home only to face an invisible enemy.
Mental health professionals report that the more intentional someone is about committing suicide, the more they hide their plans and offer no warning signs.
If you have lost all hope and are struggling with thoughts of self-harm, or are concerned about a loved one at risk, we ask you to please go to https://afsp.org/find-support/ or call 1-800-273-TALK right away. Help is available right now.
If you are a veteran who is struggling, or you have a loved one who has served that is at risk, we ask you to please go to veteranscrisisline.net right away.
Please know there is hope available even in your darkest day. Death may be a choice, but so is new life. Just as God told Paul Asher, “And miracles happen. Every day. And sometimes … sometimes, you are the miracle.”
About Robert Noland
Robert began his writing career as a songwriter in 1983, penning lyrics for Christian artists with the most notable being Glen Campbell’s 1994 radio single entitled The Best is Yet to Come. Robert also spent ten years as a full-time touring musician and three of those years as a producer.
Noland wrote his first series of Bible studies in 1988 and in 1991 his first Christian devotional book. Over the past 25 years, he has authored 75+ titles spanning across children, youth, and adult audiences. Since 2011, he has been a full-time author, writer, editor, and project manager for Christian publishers.
Projects where Robert has contributed his skills include: Think, Act, Believe Like Jesus by Randy Frazee, Do You Believe? 40-Day Devotional from the Pure Flix film, When God Shows Up: 40-Day Devotional from the Jon and Andy Erwin film, Living Among Lions by David & Jason Benham, How to Live in Fear by Lance Hahn, God’s Not Dead II 40-Day Devotional from the Pure Flix film, The Evidence of Faith by Tim Mahoney from the film Patterns of Evidence, Crossruption by Jacob William, Going Solo by Robert Beeson, I Can Only Imagine: A Memoir by Bart Millard from the film I Can Only Imagine, I Can Only Imagine 40-Day Devotional by Bart Millard from the film I Can Only Imagine, An Interview With God, the novelization of the film, Indivisible: One Marriage Under God 50-Day Devotional from the film Indivisible, and God Will Make a Way: Finding His Hope in Your Story by Don Moen.
Robert’s own projects are published by his ministry 517 Resources, Inc., with titles including The Knight’s Code and 3SG Men’s Small Group Series. Regardless of the target audience or mode of delivery via paper or digital, Robert writes what he calls, “practical application of Biblical truth.” He lives in Franklin, Tennessee with his wife of 30+ years and has two adult sons, both musicians. RobertNoland.com.
About Ken Aguado
For over 25 years, Ken Aguado has worked as a Studio Executive, CEO, Producer, Author and Screenwriter. He has worked in television, feature films, new media, and is also in demand as a speaker and educator all over the U.S. and around the world. He’s written dozens of essays and published articles on a wide variety of media-related topics for emerging filmmakers and industry professionals. Ken also co-wrote the top selling textbook The Hollywood Pitching Bible, now in its Third Edition, which is required reading at film schools across the country.
Starting out as a Development Executive, Ken quickly rose through the competitive ranks, developing dozens of scripts and supervising many films in production. In the 90s, he became the Senior Vice President of the Badham/Cohen Group at Universal Pictures where he developed and supervised several hit films including The Hard Way, Bird on a Wire, and Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story.
A few years later, Ken ventured into television as the President of Miller-Boyett Production, one the most prolific family television production companies in history, based at Warner Bros., with five hit series on the air at the same time, including Perfect Strangers, Family Matters, and Step by Step.
After years as a successful executive, Ken became a producer in the early 2000s and has produced numerous notable film, television, and new media projects.
Most recently, Ken has added screenwriting to his list of accomplishments when he wrote and produced the motion picture An Interview with God, as well as the feature documentary Miracle on 42nd Street, enjoying great acclaim on the film festival circuit prior to its worldwide release and broadcast premiere on PBS.
Ken lives with his wife in Los Angeles, California.
Visit AnInterviewWithGod.com
An Interview with God Page 12