The Reluctant Medium

by GG Anderson

  “What? Why did you do that?”

  “It’s a puzzle. An adventure? He said if you are truly the one who needs the box, you will know where it is.”

  “But I don’t! how am I supposed to know where to look?” Tyler got up and started pacing.

  “He said everything he said to me were clues. He said he gave you everything you needed to find it.”

  Tyler stopped and stared at me. “Seriously, why couldn’t he just tell me, look in the drawer left of thing below the other thing!”

  “He said he didn’t trust me. He didn’t know me, and he wanted to protect it.”

  Tyler grew angry, “Awesome, so while we are out playing hide the pickle, my asshole of an uncle is going to destroy everything.”

  “He also said how proud he was of you. He said it was just yesterday you were a little boy.”

  “So, he took enough time to tell you he was proud of me, but not to just tell us where the hell the box was?”

  “Tyler. He was very sweet. He really is proud of you, and he commented how fast time had gone. How he remembered you playing with cans and rocks.”

  Tyler stopped and looked at me. “He said that?”

  “Yeah.” I thought back through my memories. Thank gosh I had a recording too. “He said he remembered you collecting rocks and playing with empty bottles and tin cans.”

  “I heard you say that a minute ago in the recorder. It doesn’t make any sense. He didn’t let us play with tin cans. They were too sharp. They would give us tetanus. He always said we’d have to go out to the barn and use one of those big cow syringes. That kept me from any kind of rusted metal. Those needles were huge.”

  “The barn!”

  “Yeah, you said that too. The barn didn’t have stairs. It has a ladder, but no stairs. We weren’t allowed to go up there.” Tyler looked at me, “The loft of the barn? Could it be there?”

  “No, because he said something about being afraid of fire. He said it used to be under the stairs in the barn, but he moved it because of his fear of fire. Then he said he put it under the good linens in the house.”

  “Yeah, it’s not there, mom’s gone through everything in the house like ten times.”

  “Then it has to be outside the house. Where did you keep your rocks that you found?”

  “In my drawer in the attic bedroom. No way, we’ve been through there too.”

  I stood, pacing with him, simply to keep the adrenaline from making me bounce in place on the sofa. “Ok, what about the bottles? Where did they go when you were done playing with them?”

  “There was a wooden box that stayed in the barn. It isn’t big enough to hide anything. Besides, it isn’t closed, those old bottles get so dirty and filled with spider webs and dirt. Nah, it can’t be them.”

  “Then it has to be the barn. It must be someplace in the barn. Someplace you would be able to figure out with the clues he gave you.”

  “I have no idea.” He threw his hands above his head. “This is so frustrating. We are so close.”

  I touched his shoulder, “We’ll figure it out. He’s sure you have all the pieces; we just have to put them together.”

  “Yeah, except usually we know what the picture is we are trying to build. Here we just have random clues with no real picture.”

  “I still go back to what isn’t true. The tin cans.”

  Tyler leaned against the wall. “What do you mean?”

  “I mean you said you didn’t play with tin cans, he said you did. I feel that’s really the key.”

  “Ok, how so?”

  I sat back down on the sofa. “So, tell me again, what did he say about tin cans?”

  “He said you had to get a tetanus shot. He used to tell us the needles they used for vaccinating the cattle is the needle they would use. As a kid, that was so scary looking. It was like this long.”

  I rolled my eyes, “I have had a tetanus shot. It isn’t THAT scary.”

  “Yeah, now, but as a kid, that is one big scary fear,” Tyler smiled that playful smile I loved. He was so hot.

  “Well, it’s good you’re going into medicine,” I grinned back.

  His face clicked into recognition. “Medicine. We kept the medicine in the old fridge in the barn. That’s where all the vaccines are kept. If it was anything to deal with animals, it gets put out there.”

  “Is it in the fridge?”

  Tyler shook his head, “Nah, we used to check that fridge for beer when we were younger, there was no box, trust me we would have found it.”

  “But what about the freezer?”

  He turned his head slightly. “You don’t keep beer in the freezer, so we never looked. I think there was an ice pack or something in there, but honestly, it wasn’t really used. I think it didn’t work super well.”

  “So, it could be in there?”

  He shrugged, “Maybe. I need to call my mom.” He pushed off the wall and reached for my hands, “Thank you. I don’t know what else to say, other than thank you. You really are super cool.” He pulled me in for a hug. “And super-hot.”

  I laughed into his chest, “Yeah, not so sure about how hot I am, but you are very welcome.”

  Chapter Eighteen

  Tyler headed back to his room, already calling his mom before he had gotten out of earshot.

  I headed straight to the library. Nothing but homework on my docket of fun today. I figured I would spend the majority of the day stuck inside staring at my computer, trying to make sense of papers and assignments due.

  I walked into the dorm hoping one of the multiple issues were handled. After several hours in the library, I had put a large dent in my homework list and felt like we had made a huge step forward in the grandpa mystery.

  My feet were so heavy as I climbed the stairs. Each step took focus to keep going. I hadn’t realized how exhausted I was.

  The hallway was empty, and I couldn’t help but thank my lucky stars. I didn’t have the energy to go to the mat with Brock again. He needed to keep his distance tonight. I fell into bed, barely changing out of my clothes. I didn’t hear anyone come in; I didn’t hear Crystel’s alarm. I didn’t hear Camryn hitting snooze on hers four times before actually getting out of bed.

  The room was as silent as it had been when I had gone to sleep the night before. I got up, disoriented from the light filtering. I grabbed my phone. Yep, I’d slept through my first class.

  Awesome.

  Quickly, I grabbed my shower gear and headed to get ready.

  Class barely held my interest today. I felt wiped out, even though I’d slept deeply. My mind kept drifting to other places, tuning out the sound of the professors and even the other students. I couldn’t keep my thoughts far from Karson. I kept playing the movie script scene I had filmed in my imagination. Complete with screams, bloody walls, and terrified co-eds. I faded to the hospital with her parents crying over her young corpse. I wondered if she stood by in that vision. Had she watched her own parents come apart because of her tragic death?

  “Savanah.” My name came quietly from the hallway. I returned to the classroom, looking around to see if anyone else had heard that.

  Nope. Just me.

  I slipped out of my seat, leaving my books, hoping the professor would assume I had a bathroom emergency. I stood in the hallway looking both directions, listening intently. I walked towards the stairs that led to the basement, for no other reason than–well, aren’t ghosts supposed to hang in the basements?

  “Where are you going?” Karson stood on the stairs a flight above me.

  “I-well, I don’t really know.”

  “Come with me.” She turned back towards the stairs climbing slowly.

  When we reached the second floor, I asked her the most obvious question. “Where are we headed?”

  “Come on, it’s really cool up here. No one gets to get up here-well except me.” She went through a door that I so humanly had to open. It creaked with resistance, and it was obvious that students didn’t realize if you
pulled up just right it would open. We were in an attic type space now. “We’re almost there.” She climbed a rickety white ladder that hadn’t seen repair in a number of years. I wondered how concerned I should be about my safety, but it was fleeting and I continued to climb, being sure to avoid the slivers. At the top she walked hunched over toward a trap door in the very low wall. “You have to prop this open or you will be stuck. Trust me, you don’t want to have to explain why you’re up here.”

  I pushed the door open and stepped through. The day was cold, but it was completely clear. The sky was the kind of blue found in children’s drawings, with white puffy clouds and a happy sun. The view was beautiful.

  “Now, stay away from the edges and no one will know you are here.” Karson stood next to me, “This is where I hang out. No one knows about it, well except you now.”

  “This is amazing. I have never seen the campus from this vantage point.”

  She shrugged, “They use it for some marketing photos sometimes, but not much.”

  I gazed out at the campus with renewed appreciation. I looked over to Elizabeth’s house. I wondered how much had changed since she was here. Everything obviously.

  “I never thought he would hurt me” her words were thin, “I mean, yeah, he hit me a couple of times. He said he was really sorry. He loved me, he told me that all the time. He told me we would be together forever. And at first, there was nothing else I wanted more. I gave him everything.” She laughed a throaty chuckle, “But I started to think about the future, you know? Forever is a long time, obviously I know that now.” She smiled but it didn’t reach her eyes, “I started wanting new things. Different things. Things that I knew I would never have with him. Things he would never allow me to have. It took months for me to decide to leave him. Seriously, I felt so bad. I knew I was his entire world. I knew it would crush him, but I couldn’t keep sleeping with him when I knew I wasn’t in love with him anymore."

  "I finally got up the nerve right before I went to my symposium. I couldn’t wait. There was a visiting professor from Vassar, and Seattle University which of course I would have died to go to either.” She grinned at herself, “I hadn’t even told my parents yet that I was getting out of here for college. I knew I would have to. It would be too hard to stay close to home and have him around.

  I broke up with him right before I left for this camp. It was a big step, and I remember feeling so grown up, so in control of my own future. No longer worrying about what he would say, or what he would do.” She looked at me square in the face, “Never thought it would end up the way it did. Even when he stormed into my room, I never thought he would actually do it. I saw the knife and I remember thinking to myself, ‘what is he doing with that?’" She laughed again, “But he answered that question soon enough,” she looked down at her torso.

  All the wounds appeared, red and bloody like it had just happened, “He hit every artery. He skillfully made sure that I would never leave that room alive.”

  My eyes bulged from their sockets, frantically trying to figure out how to help, but logically knowing it wasn’t possible. “I – I,”

  She interrupted me, “You know we met in a science class? He was a senior, and I was a sophomore.” She smiled but no humor was present, “You know which class it was?”

  I shook my head.

  “Human anatomy. Ironic, huh?” She looked down and the wounds faded.

  “Karson, I am so so sorry. I really am.”

  “You know, you are the first person I have ever been able to tell my side to? After it happened, I tried to talk to my mom. I tried to get through to my dad, tell them to move on, that it was ok. But it didn’t work.”

  A thought came to me. “I could try. I mean, I don’t know if they will talk to me, but I could try and get through to them, maybe give them a message for you?”

  “They’re both dead.” She shook her head with frustration, “They couldn’t get past it. It destroyed them. Mom killed herself, overdosed on way too many pills, and dad drowned fishing.” She crossed her arms looking off into the distance, “Dad taught me how to swim.” She looked down at the rocks on the roof. “That left my brother. He’s still around but is in prison for driving drunk too many times. He didn’t even drink before I died.”

  I swallowed hard. The tragedy of this situation went so far beyond just the two people. It destroyed an entire family. “Karson, what can I do to help you?”

  She smiled looking down at my hands, “You need to get inside, it is too cold out here for you.” She walked to the small door, “Come on, before you catch a cold.” She walked through the door and I followed. It slammed shut behind me and I turned to look. She was gone.

  I retraced our trek up to the roof and remembered I’d left all my things in class. I hurried, not sure what time it even was.

  The classroom was empty, and my stuff sat on my desk, sad and alone. I gathered my things and quickly made my way out of the building.

  I worked through the entire conversation in my mind. It was nothing but tragic. She had grand plans of going away to college, changing her life while changing her zip code, and instead she was trapped here because of a mean violent boyfriend. Ex-boyfriend.

  Tyler scared me again by grabbing me from behind. “Holy crap you are freezing. Your fingers are like blue!” He jumped back after touching my icy hands.

  My heartbeat started to normalize. “You scared the holy bejesus out of me.”

  “Well, maybe that’s a good thing. You obviously needed a little blood flow to start up again, Jesus babe you are an absolute popsicle.” His face shifted as it clicked, “What happened?” He lowered his voice, looking around. He knew already it was supernatural.

  I smiled at his cuteness. His eyes searched around us like Casper would be hanging out over my shoulder. “I’m fine, really. I just spent some time with a friend,” I watched the people filter past us. “More importantly, how are YOU? Did you talk to your mom?”

  His face fell a little, “Yeah, but she isn’t finding anything. It has to be there, right?”

  “I assume so, it didn’t sound like he was lying.”

  He nodded solemnly. “Yeah, I think I’m going to have to go check for myself.”

  “Do you have time with baseball?”

  He shrugged, “I’ll figure it out. It’ll only take a day. If I leave here early, I can get over there and back in one day, it will be a long one, but I think I can do it.”

  “You shouldn’t do that type of drive by yourself; I mean you could fall asleep; you could get in an accident.” I knew my mind was on hyper mode with the conversation with Karson.

  “You wanna go?” He didn’t look at me now, he simply stared at the ground as we walked on. “I mean it could help things if I need to reach out to Gramps.”

  How could I possibly say no? He was right, honestly, I wasn’t sure why I hadn’t thought of it. “Sure. When?”

  “Really? You’ll come?” His face lit up like a Christmas tree.

  “Of course, why wouldn’t I?”

  He shrugged with a bounce, “I don’t know. I’m just so happy. That’s so cool. Thank you.” He kissed my cheek and then pulled back, “Seriously, you are frozen stiff.”

  We walked back to my dorm. The air burnt my face, and I realized how truly cold I was. We had about two hours before I met with Dr. Eyebright and he had practice. That should give me enough time to thaw out and fill him in on things.

  “I told you, I met up with a friend.” I met his eyes briefly. “Remember the high school girl Karson?”

  He nodded, running his fingers through my hair.

  “She came and got me out of class today.”

  “Wait, got you out of class? Dude, can I get in on that?” He chuckled low, “So she just found you in class?”

  I nodded, trying not to get lost in the green sparkle of his eyes.

  He stared at me, completely amazed, “Do you have any idea how cool you are?” He played with a wild lock of hair. “Most guys
have girlfriends that get all kinds of freaky, I have one that is an actual freak!” He laughed and pulled me into his arms.

  My face fell, and he must have felt it. “Hey, I was just kidding. I think you are like a superhero.” He pulled back to look into my eyes. He took my chin in his hands. Dang it, I couldn’t focus when he did that. “Savanah, I am very sorry if that hurt your feelings.”

  I wrinkled my brows, “No, I am completely aware I am a freak. That doesn’t bother me.”

  “Then what is it?”

  I buried my face in his chest, “The other guys have girlfriends that get freaky,” I looked up at him, “I’m sorry we haven’t done that yet, I just...”

  “You are sorry? Savanah that is not something that we need to rush. If and when you are ready, we will take that step. We don’t have to hurry. Seriously.”

  “I just know you are like super experienced, and I am sorry you are dating a complete novice.”

  He chuckled and shook his head, “Why must you worry about the stupidest things?” He kissed my nose and stroked my hair again. “You don’t think if that was all I cared about I wouldn’t have taken off by now?”

  I swallowed. No, he wouldn’t have. He needed my help with the box. I stayed very still.

  “Savanah, you don’t think that is all I care about, right?”

  I shook my head, knowing it wasn’t all he cared about.

  “I liked you the moment I saw you. You had this edgy vibe that you weren’t even trying to pull off. It was just you. And then I couldn’t handle your crazy mood swings, and then I find out that you are like a wizard. And THEN like every other guy on campus wants you and you still want to go out with me. Trust me, sex will happen,” he smiled at me impishly, “And it will be amazing I promise. But it isn’t all I care about. When you’re ready, is soon enough for me.”

  He meant it to be not pressure, but I swallowed hard to try and erase the lump in my throat. It wasn’t like I hadn’t thought about it, I had.