by Piper Rayne
Here we go. “Well, you know what? Don’t pay me the money back early then. Whatever. We’re even either way, okay?”
“I was going to pay you back,” Leilani says.
“Right. That’s why you disappeared and wouldn’t answer my calls. Well, you’re off the hook. So, show up or don’t to the court date, that’s your decision. I hope you do so I can get my money back and so that you can face this and then move on but I will no longer feel guilty for your poor decisions.”
She puts her hands on her hips and stares at me. “That’s how you’re going to play this?”
“Yes. I don’t want to be friends with you anymore, Leilani. You don’t care about anyone but yourself.”
Evan stands there, her head flying back and forth between us, trying to keep up.
“You’ve always been my girl,” Leilani says with a note of sadness to her voice.
“Only when you needed me. Whenever I need you, I’m hung out to dry. Bye, Leilani.” I slide past her.
Evan quickly follows me. The farther away I get from Leilani, the more weight lifts off me. I should’ve done that years ago.
When two arms wrap around my waist and a scratchy cheek runs along my neck, I close my eyes.
“Hey, beautiful,” Knox whispers in my ear, lowering my feet back onto the floor. I turn around in his arms, and his smile dims instantly. “What’s wrong?”
“Leilani is here,” I say.
His hands leave my body and he scans the area. I’m not sure if he spots her or not, but then he’s gone, winding through people, searching for her. My heart sinks into my stomach as I watch him frantically looking for her, watering that seed of doubt inside me. Is Knox really over Leilani?
Chapter Twenty-Six
Knox
After searching the entire bar, I question whether Kamea really saw Leilani. How could she vanish that quickly? Returning to the table, I take the chair next to Kamea. Thankfully, the conversation is on Blanca and Ethan’s wedding, and since they’re all distracted, I can ask Kamea what happened.
“When did you see her?”
She sips her drink. “A minute or so before you wrapped your arms around me.”
I note that she’s not looking directly at me. “And what did she say?”
She shrugs. “Just that these girls aren’t real friends. Made me feel like shit about her running away in high school and me not going with her.” Her eyes flicker across the table. “Evan heard everything.”
I glance over my shoulder where Evan seems to be recounting the entire conversation to Seth. He shoots me a look to say “fuck, man.”
My thoughts exactly. Because if it was only a minute before I arrived, that means Leilani now knows I’m with Kamea. And although I don’t give a shit what Leilani thinks, it could be why Kamea is presently a damn ice sculpture.
“I told her to keep the money and we’re even.” Kamea sucks back a large part of her drink.
“You what?” I yell. The group looks at me, so I lower my voice. “Why would you do that?”
“Because I don’t care about the money. All I care about is that she’s out of my life.”
I reach for her hand and she allows me to hold it, but even after I squeeze it, it lays limp. “True. That’s true. We want her out of our life.” I slide closer and kiss her cheek.
“I do, but do you?” she asks.
“Hey. Come with me.” I stand and tug her up by her hand. “Grab your jacket.” I look at our group. “We’ll be back.”
They all nod as if they weren’t eavesdropping.
I never let Kamea go as I guide us out of the crowded bar. Once we’re by the riverfront, I lead us down the path away from the bar, hoping like hell Leilani doesn’t show up. If I’m going to make progress with Kamea, I need Leilani far, far away.
“You ran after her,” Kamea says before I have a chance to say anything.
“Because we’ve been looking for her. You need your money.”
“Your face. Your eyes. You wanted to see her.” She sits on a bench as though she doesn’t have the energy to continue on.
“I don’t want her. I only went after her because she owed you money and I was going to get it back for you.”
Her stiff body language says she doesn’t believe me, and I have no idea how to convince her. I fist my hands at my sides.
Kamea says, “I’ve never had the self-confidence I should, but being with you, it was growing. But every time her name comes up or I have to hear how heartbroken you were over her, all those doubts creep in.” She stands and goes to the concrete ledge that overlooks the river.
I follow and place my hand on her back. Leilani fucked with my life long enough. I’m not going to allow her to fuck this up for me. “I like you. I’m with you.”
“Out of default?” She looks at me for a moment before looking back at the river.
“How could you think that? I wasn’t planning on falling for you. But everything about you—”
“Is it because I look like her?” she spits out before I can finish.
“God, no. And you don’t, by the way. You don’t look like her at all. But if you have to know”—she opens her mouth and I put my finger to her lips with the hopes she doesn’t snap it away—“let me finish this.”
She nods.
“I fell for the woman you are in here.” I place my hand over her heart. “Don’t get me wrong, you’re beautiful, gorgeous face, a total knockout, but it’s the way you are with people. Your kindness. The fact that you’ve allowed my friends to bombard their way into your life. How you let me snuggle close to you when we sleep. The way you run your fingers through my hair and down my cheeks. That you ask me how my day was and actually remember the things I told you. How you were ready to let my mom feed you olives and cheese and act like it’s a damn meal.”
She smiles and I think that I might almost have her. “God, Kamea, I’m not with you as a default. I’m with you because I should’ve always been you. From the beginning, I should’ve gone home with you. It’s not you being compared to Leilani. Leilani doesn’t hold a candle up to you.”
I place my hands on her hips and swivel her to face me. “I don’t want to scare you, but I’ve fallen for you. You’re everything I’ve been looking for. I think we have something really special.”
Her smile grows.
“Tell me you feel this too,” I say. “That it’s different than anything else you’ve ever experienced. That you fit perfectly alongside me. You feel it, right?”
She nods.
“Then believe in it and in me. Trust me.” I tug her toward me, and her hands fall to my chest. I place a hand on her cheek, and she tilts her face into my palm. “I never want you to feel second best.”
I lower my head and my lips meet hers. She rises up on her tiptoes, so I don’t have to strain too far down. Our tongues tangle and slide in the dance we’ve come to know.
Once it’s over, she draws back. “I’m sorry. I hate that I allow her to make me feel less than.”
“Ask me any time and I’ll reassure you about how magnificent you are.”
She sighs and her forehead falls to my chest.
“Now let’s go have fun with our friends.”
She steps back as I take her hand. “They’re your friends.”
“I don’t think so. Everyone at the table was looking at me like I was a moron for making you sad. Believe me, they’re your friends too.”
I hope she believes me. We’re in a weird situation, and I wish everyone would stop telling her what a mess I was when Leilani left. That only increases her anxiety and mistrust of what’s developing between us. I just need to make sure I’m extra attentive, so she knows my feelings for her aren’t even in the same realm of what I felt for Leilani. I mean hell, I haven’t fucked Kamea in a public area once. Doesn’t she realize that says it all?
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Kamea
Knox comes out of the shower. He had his detective interview yesterday, and
now we wait until all the applicants have been interviewed to see if there’s another round.
Today is Thanksgiving, and other than a text from my brother, I haven’t heard from my family. I assume my parents are still upset I decided to move away.
Even though we’ve had sex too many times to count, my boyfriend wearing just a towel still makes me vibrate with want. I can’t believe I allowed my insecurity over Leilani to show last night at the bar. Although Knox says I can talk to him about it, I can’t nag him to delve into how much he cares for me every time I feel the slightest bit worried about his feelings toward me.
“What are you thinking about?” He goes to his closet.
I place my computer on the bed. “That I wish we could eat Thanksgiving dinner in the bed, alone.”
He glances over his shoulder. “Me too. Believe me, I’m just thankful I’m off. After the entire Santa thing is over, we’re out of there.”
I can’t wait to see him play Santa for Jolie’s grandmother’s shelter. Since Knox’s parents always go to a different shelter to volunteer on Thanksgiving, they’re going to visit us there after they’re done. Then we’re eating at Rian and Dylan’s.
When he turns around to place his pants and shirt on the mattress, I slide down the bed. Placing my hands on his hips, I pull him to me.
One of his hands threads through my hair while the other one tips my face up to his. “What are you doing?”
I run my hand along the bulge under his towel and apply pressure. He groans and his fingers tighten in my strands.
“What do you think I’m doing?”
I unhook his towel and it falls to the floor. His dick is right in front of me, pointing north. I grip the base of his cock and leave my eyes on his while I lick up his length, then cover the tip with my mouth and suck.
“Hell, Kamea,” he says and rocks into my mouth.
I’ve only gone down on him before we have sex and never until he came in my mouth, but today is the day. I won’t allow him to deter me away. Unfortunately, I don’t have a lot of experience, but he’s never complained before.
I tighten my grip over his shaft and pump at the same pace as I do with my mouth.
The hand that was on my chin slides down the front of my T-shirt until he takes my bare breast and his thumb and forefinger pinch my nipple. “It feels so good.”
He rocks into my mouth. I keep a loose enough grip to move up and down, but I know he likes it firm. I bob my head at the same pace as my hand, but it isn’t until I use my free hand to cup his balls that he loses all control.
“Let’s fuck, so you can get my cock inside you.”
I shake my head, continuing to take him in and out of my mouth. And then I do something I’ve only ever seen in porn—I open my mouth all the way until the tip of his dick hits the back of my throat.
His hips retract back as if the pleasure is too much to take, then he thrusts inside my mouth again as if he misses it.
“I’m coming,” he says.
His fingers grip my hair so tight the pain/pleasure mix only makes me want to continue, so I don’t stop. He pumps into me then stills, his eyes falling closed. I’ve never felt so powerful. That might sound crazy, but the fact I got him so hot and horny he could barely control himself is satisfying not just to him, but to me.
I swallow, and his hands loosen in my hair, his finger sliding down my jawline until he cups my chin and turns it up toward him. “That was amazing. Today I’m thankful for blowjobs from my hot girlfriend.”
I laugh and he bends down, claiming my lips as he slides me back on the bed. “Oh no, we don’t have that much time.”
He tears off my pajama shorts and throws them across the room, nestling between my legs. From the first lick, I give up the fight.
We leave for the shelter ten minutes late, but sometimes Santa has to make sure the missus is taken care of first.
We arrive at the shelter and Frankie ushers Knox through the back door. “Kamea, you can go through the front. Jolie and my mom are there. I have to get the big guy ready since he’s late.”
Frankie has that mom look only real moms can pull off. The one that makes even a cop twice her size wince.
“Good luck.” I give him two thumbs up.
Walking into the shelter area, I find Jax already there with Jolie and Sandy.
“What’s up? Better mood since last night?” Jax asks.
Sandy hugs me, and I put on an apron and wash my hands to help pass out candy canes to the guests. Our job is to get the kids excited about Santa’s arrival.
“I’m fine,” I say.
“Yeah? Were those screams last night all the insecurity toward Leilani being let out of you?”
I hate that Jax sees and knows everything. He probably pegged this would happen. “I’m not proud of my insecurities, okay?”
He twirls his finger, and I circle around for him to tie my apron in the back.
I add, “It’s embarrassing.”
“Yeah, needy girls are the worst.”
I turn back around when he’s done, and my shoulders sink. “Thanks for making me feel better.”
“I’m just saying, you’re going to have to get over it.” He shrugs.
“Yeah, I get it.”
I walk away from Jax, not into having this conversation with him. I already feel stupid and immature. He passes around coloring books, and Jolie follows him with crayons.
A few minutes later, Jax is back at my side. “I didn’t mean to make you feel bad. I get it. Do you think guys don’t have insecurities?”
I huff, rolling my eyes at him.
He holds up his hand. “We do. Swear it. We doubt ourselves. Guys just hide it better. Like last night, I probably would have punched Leilani.”
“I’m not a physical person.”
“Mommy says no hitting,” Jolie says from behind us. I forget too often that she’s always listening.
“If someone hits you first, you hit back,” Jax says.
I stop and circle around. “No, Jolie, you do not. You listen to your mommy.”
Jolie nods, but she’s kind of badass like her mom. I have a feeling she might hit first.
“It’s cool though, you gotta get that shit out,” Jax says. “Just don’t make it a habit.”
I pass out four candy canes to a family at one of the tables. “I don’t remember asking you for your opinion.”
He laughs. “Since when do I wait for people to ask?”
“Never.”
“Exactly. Be more like me.”
I get that Jax is trying to be nice and, in his own special way, make me feel better, but I’m not one hundred percent sure Leilani is out of Knox’s mind. Ugh, I hate admitting that even to myself.
“Kamea!”
I look up to find Peggy, Knox’s mom, and his dad walking in with a big bag full of gifts.
I step aside so we don’t interrupt the guests from their Thanksgiving meal. “Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Whelan.”
She playfully slaps me on the shoulder. “Nonsense. Peggy and Tim, remember?”
I nod, but I don’t feel comfortable calling them by their first names.
“These are the gifts. Each one marked with an age and gender.” Tim holds the bag out to Jax.
“I’ll take them back,” Jax says.
“That was kind of you,” I say.
Peggy shrugs. “I don’t come to a shelter without gifts. I figure…” She stops when she spots Jolie between us. “You’re a cutie.”
“Jolie.” She holds out her hand. “Why are you bringing gifts?”
“For the children in a few weeks…” Her words trail off when she realizes Jolie probably still believes in Santa.
Between this and at Ink Envy the other day, Santa’s secret is gonna be blown.
“Santa brings the gifts,” Jolie says.
“Yes, but sometimes he asks me to bring extras,” Peggy says.
Jolie’s eyes widen. “You know Santa?”
“Well, me and the missus
were friends back in high school.”
How on Earth Peggy keeps up this show, I have no idea. She was probably an amazing mom because she can really think on her feet.
“I gotta go tell my mom! Can you get a letter up to Santa?” Jolie asks, practically vibrating.
Peggy nods. “Sure thing.”
Jolie runs away and into the back, where Knox is getting dressed.
“You just made her day,” I say.
“I’ll give the letter to her mom. Come on, I’ll help you.”
Peggy takes the candy canes and passes them out while Tim does the coloring books and crayons. Jolie returns, and Peggy puts the letter in her purse while Jolie goes back to dishing out crayons to the young kids. Tim is so great with her, I can’t help but think what great grandparents they’ll be someday. Which only pulls me back into my thoughts of my own parents. The odd time I do call home they either don’t answer or they do and it’s just a stilted one-sided conversation on my part. All because I chose to leave, they’re never going to meet their grandchildren. How stubborn can they be?
Once everything is passed out and almost all of our friends have arrived, Knox comes out in the Santa suit.
I take a seat next to Peggy.
“Look at him,” she says. “Smile, Santa!”
Knox looks up and fakes a smile, but as soon as a kid hops up on his lap, he does in fact smile. He talks with each child for a few minutes, then Frankie, who’s dressed as an elf, helps them back to their parents and gives them a letter and crayon to write their letter since Santa’s memory fails him sometimes.
“Where are your parents?” Peggy asks me when about half the kids have had their visit with Santa.
My throat dries up. Surely a woman who takes in her son’s friends won’t understand why I no longer speak to my parents. “They’re in North Carolina.”
“Oh, and you didn’t want to go home to celebrate the holiday? I guess it’s a short one. Will you be with them for Christmas?”
Just rip off the damn Band-Aid, Kamea. “I don’t really talk to my parents.”