He grinned. “It’s pancake day. I wouldn’t miss it.”
Pancake day? Shifters weren’t big on carbs or sweets. They ate meat and more meat and sometimes topped their meat with meat.
Living in the Compound ensured I had more protein in my diet than I could ever ask for.
But on rare occasions, whoever was on duty in the kitchens would cook something other than meat and twice now I’d had the pleasure of pancakes for breakfast.
They were light and fluffy with a hint of sweetness. I drowned them in so much maple syrup I usually needed a shower afterwards to combat the stickiness.
My mouth watered.
Declan jogged down the steps and then turned back, an evil glint in his eyes.
“Better hurry. Wouldn’t want you to miss out.” He winked.
“If you eat all of my pancakes, I will kill you.”
His laugh echoed through the stairwell.
“Promises. Promises.”
I raced after him, doing my best not to trip. Wouldn’t that be just my luck? I’d crash down the stairs, probably break my leg, and then find Declan with the last plate of pancakes.
Not today, buddy. Not today.
In my haste to catch up, I ran into a man as he was walking up the stairs.
“Sorry!” I bit out the words and kept going.
“S’okay. I was in the way.”
Something about the voice was familiar. I paused on the stairs and turned back to look at the man.
He was dressed in jeans, a white short-sleeved shirt, and red Converse sneakers. Worry was stamped across his features as his eyes flicked past me.
He must have seen Declan and expected a verbal lashing for running into his Alpha’s mate.
“Sorry,” he mumbled.
I struggled to come up with a name. I knew I knew him. How did I know him?
A light bulb went off. “Jonah? Jonah Mc… Mc something. I’m sorry. I can’t remember.” I cringed. As Declan’s mate I should know everyone within the Pack. But I was notoriously horrible with names and there were a lot of shifters to account for.
“McNeman,” Declan said. He’d climbed the steps that separated us and now stood just behind me. Good. It would make it easier to trip him on our way back down so I could get to the pancakes first.
Jonah stiffened.
I surveyed his downward expression and then looked at Declan, whose face bordered on icy rage.
A growl rumbled deep in Declan’s chest and Jonah’s eyes widened like a deer caught in headlights. He kept his gaze on the floor but a thin sheen of perspiration broke out across his face.
I was missing something but all I could think about were pancakes.
I smacked Declan in the chest. “Stop that.” We didn’t have time to stop just so he could intimidate shifters beneath him on the hierarchy ladder. Besides, Declan didn’t usually try to terrorize his Packmates. He held his position through solid leadership and respect. Sure there was a good dose of dominance and strength involved but I’d never taken Declan for a bully.
He glowered at me.
“Sorry. He’s in a mood—he hasn’t had his pancakes yet. It was nice seeing you again.” I turned and tugged Declan back down the stairs with me.
Jonah took off in the opposite direction as though wolves were nipping at his heels.
What the hell had all that been about? The last time I’d seen Jonah he’d brought me food. He was nice. He’d offered to help me if—Another light bulb went off in my head.
I am such an idiot.
I rounded on Declan. “You’re being a jerk because he hit on me back before we were mated!” I accused.
Declan’s face was an expressionless mask. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He tried to brush past me but I planted myself right in front of him.
Oh, he thought he was funny.
“Is it because he brought me food?” It’d only been once and he hadn’t been the only one to do it so I didn’t know what the big deal was.
“You’re my mate.” As if that answered everything. “Only I get the pleasure of feeding you.”
“You’re jealous,” I needled.
Declan harrumphed, “I’m above such childish emotions.”
Sure he was.
I snickered under my breath. “You do realize you’re the one who suggested the men in your Pack pursue me. He only hit on me because you—his Alpha—wanted him to.”
When shifters courted a woman, they’d try to prove that they could provide for her by bringing her food, ensuring she had a comfortable shelter, all very primitive stuff.
When I’d first come to the Pack, Declan had decided I was an asset he’d wanted a firm grip on, and what better way to ensure my interests aligned with his than for me to date one of the men in the Pack?
But boy had that backfired because shortly after, he’d decided to take matters into his own hands and mate-claim me himself.
“The why doesn’t matter,” he countered.
“Oh, it absolutely does. You can’t be mad now. He did nothing wrong.”
“I can be whatever I want to be. I’m the Alpha.” Gold flecks filled his emerald gaze.
I rolled my eyes. I’d have to remember to smooth things over with Jonah at some point and reassure him he was safe. I didn’t need the men in the Pack fearing for their lives because of me.
“Whatever you say, Alpha.”
I bowed when we reached the bottom of the stairs.
“What are you doing?”
“I was bowing. You’re doing your whole ‘I am Alpha, hear me roar’ bit. I felt it was appropriate.”
He didn’t seem to get the joke.
“Would it be better if I rolled over on the floor and showed you my belly instead? I’d be happy to accommodate you.” I gave him my sweetest smile and even fluttered my eyelashes a bit.
He glowered.
I snickered. It wasn’t my fault he didn’t have a sense of humor.
“Well, alright then. I’m off to get my pancakes!” I sprinted for the door laughing at his chagrined expression.
6
I’d just loaded my plate with four deliciously, golden fluffy rounds of heaven when Dia grabbed me by the arm and steered me toward the exit.
“Hey!”
“You can eat later. We have work to do.”
She took my plate from my hands and set it on a nearby dining table.
“But—”
“Later.” She dragged me into the hallway and toward the infirmary.
“But pancakes!” I whined. I couldn’t help it. I’d wanted those pancakes so freaking bad I could all but taste them in my mouth.
“Later.”
I twisted in her grip to look over my shoulder spotting a shapeshifter as he scooped up my plate and made off with my pancakes.
“I hate you,” I told her.
She flashed me a smile. “Right back at you.”
I looked over my shoulder again. I’d been so close. I should have just shoved them in my mouth before she could get the plate from me.
There was nothing I could do about it now, so instead, I stared daggers at the back of Dia’s head.
When we were back in the infirmary, she finally let go of my arm and closed the door behind us. A few short seconds later, Declan walked in with a plate in his hands.
“Pancakes?” I asked, hope blossoming in my chest.
He chuckled and handed me a plate with a lone pancake on it slathered in butter and maple syrup. My mouth watered.
“Last one.”
I greedily accepted his offering and started hacking off pieces with a fork and shoving them into my mouth before Dia could take the plate away from me.
“I have a few Pack meetings to attend this morning. Do you need—”
“She’ll survive without you.”
Declan leveled Dia with his Alpha stare. Clearly, she didn’t get the memo of what that meant because she wasn’t shaking in her boots. Instead, she had an annoyed expression stamped on
her face and she actually tried to reach for my plate.
I stabbed at her with my fork.
“If you touch my pancakes again, I will cut you.”
My words must have gotten through to her because she huffed and went to sit at the foot of Inarus’ bed.
Guilt whispered through me. I looked toward Inarus’ prone form. I’d never been a fan of pancakes, not until he’d made them for me. He’d saved my life and taken me back to his place. After cleaning me up, he’d tucked me into bed, and in the morning, he’d made me pancakes.
Why was that memory surfacing all of a sudden?
I ate the last piece of pancake and then set the plate aside. “Thank you,” I said to Declan, and meant it. I hadn’t realized just how hungry I was until that first bite. My stomach rumbled regardless of having been fed and I remembered I’d skipped dinner the night before. One pancake wasn’t going to cut it, but suddenly I didn’t want any more of them.
Enjoying them almost felt like a betrayal to my mate.
I shoved my feelings away.
“I’ll be fine. I’ll either talk sense into him or I won’t.” I shrugged my shoulders. “If he wants to be a child, that’s his prerogative. He can heal the good old-fashioned way and his body will wake up when it’s ready if he doesn’t want to give me the last anchor.” Even as I voiced the words, I knew I wouldn’t leave him like that. I couldn’t.
A smile curved Declan’s lips. Clearly, he’d prefer if I did.
“Alright then.” He leaned forward briefly, but then pulled back as if suddenly remembering we weren’t alone.
Disappointment radiated through me. Declan had never been one to shy away from public displays of affection in front of the Pack, but Dia wasn’t Pack.
“Lunch?”
I nodded. “Lunch.”
“It’s a date then.” He sank so much innuendo into that one sentence that heat quickly rushed toward my cheeks.
Calm down. It’s just lunch.
“It’s a date,” I agreed.
Declan left and I turned to find a wide-eyed Dia staring at me.
“What?” Was there syrup on my face or something?
“He really loves you?” She sounded surprised.
I folded my arms across my chest and glared at her. “I would hope so.” I was his mate and according to the shifters, it was more binding than marriage. A mate bond took the whole till death do us part to a completely different level. In many cases, if one mate died, the other soon followed. Not always right away. It could be a few hours and sometimes even days but the other individual almost always died. The loss of a mate was too much for their beast to bear.
Declan and I hadn’t jumped into this whole mating thing feet first. And it definitely hadn’t been all sunshine and roses.
No, we’d had our share of ups and downs. That was to be expected since his beast had chosen me and Declan had bitten me—forming the bond—without my consent.
In his defense, I’d been dying at the time. He’d saved me by claiming me as his mate and dumping a well full of Pack strength into me to keep me from walking toward that bright shiny light and the pearly gates but in the moment, I’d felt trapped. Forced into a relationship I hadn’t wanted with someone I didn’t even like.
A lot had changed since then.
Dia made a sound of disgust in the back of her throat, snapping me out of my thoughts. “It doesn’t matter. Let’s get to work.” Her eyes were worried. Did she not want Declan to love me? It shouldn’t matter to her one way or the other. Right?
I decided not to respond to the barb and instead took the seat on the opposite side of the bed, sinking my mind into Inarus’.
The sooner I did this, the sooner we could kick Dia out of the Compound. I looked forward to the days when I didn’t have to see her every single day.
It was easier this time. His mind was like a lighthouse, illuminating the way for me. There was no door to knock on. No question to ask. I was able to just walk into his mind and find him waiting for me.
Aria? Relief flooded into me.
Guilt flashed through me. I’d left him here, trapped in his own mind while I went and took a thirteen-hour nap. Some friend I was.
But before I could apologize, something tugged at my mind. A sense of urgency I couldn’t ignore.
“Pull me out.”
“I can’t. We need the sixth—”
“I know, dammit.” Agitation.
I waited. I could almost see him pacing in my mind’s eye.
“This will change things. I need you to understand I’m not going to do anything. I won’t interfere. I need you to understand that. To promise me this will stay here. Right here.”
He wasn’t making any sense.
“Inarus, it’ll be alright.”
“No, it won’t. Not if—”
“Not if what?”
A sigh. There was so much defeat in his next words.
“Not if I lose you…” his words whispered through my mind as he tugged me toward a beacon—the sixth and final anchor point I’d need. I didn’t have time to think about what he’d said before his memories stood before me.
He stared at me. It was the strangest sensation, looking at myself through his eyes. It took me a moment to place the time and location.
We were on the roof of the Compound. It was raining. A slow drizzle quickly morphed into a torrential downpour.
Inarus hated the rain. It was cold and wet. He was staring at me like I’d grown a second head because I loved it. I loved the rain and damp air. It was stamped across my features as I stood out in the open, arms spread wide and face tilted toward the sky.
My hair stuck to my face. My clothing hugged my body. And despite knowing that I was a complete mess, he thought I was more beautiful than I’d ever been.
The longer Inarus stared—the longer I stared through his eyes—the quicker the emotions change.
He was no longer annoyed I was making him stand out in the cold. He …
The memory faded but I’m still in Inarus’ mind. Still heading toward the sixth and final anchor. A new memory surfaced.
Inarus was sitting on a roof once again. Not that of the Compound, but one that looked out over the city. He was alone. It was raining.
He was waiting for something or someone, but I didn’t know who or what.
I gazed out through the streets, recognizing Sanborn Place a few blocks away.
The rain picked up. I saw my Civic drive toward the building. Longing pressed down on me, a deep ache in my chest.
I knew I wouldn’t see her but I waited anyway for the chance to glimpse her. The rain… it was a reminder.
This one faded away. But still I was being tugged forward.
I ported into a barn filled with straw, and narrowly avoided a dagger lobbed at my heart. She was angry. I liked her anger. It was better than her hate.
Another memory rushed toward me.
She was asleep. I looked down at her and fear burrowed its way into my chest. I leaned over her and rested my head on her chest. I listened to the steady beat of her heart. Still alive. I’d needed the reminder.
Exhaustion tugged at me and I closed my eyes, allowing myself this moment to rest while knowing her heart still beat.
Her hand lifted and careful fingers ran through the black strands of my hair. I jerked away from her and my eyes met her gaze. Her skin glowed. “Jesus. Do you have any idea what you’ve put me through?” The admonishment came out before I could stop it.
Then another—
I lay in her bed. She was going to return. She said she’d return. But she didn’t. I waited anyway, knowing she’s with him. That I’m losing her.
The memory faded and all I saw was black. I wasn’t asleep. I was still in Inarus’ mind but there was nothing left to see. I waited for him to say something. To do something. But it was ominously quiet.
I chewed my lower lip. That had been… I wasn’t entirely sure.
A build-up of memories and emotions al
l leading up to —
A jolt, and I wasn’t in Inarus’ mind anymore. I opened my eyes to find a wide-awake Inarus and a pissed off Declan staring back at me. When had he come back? I thought—
Fury flooded my veins. I choked on the emotions.
But Declan wasn’t angry with me. No, he was furious with Inarus and I felt his rage coming off him in thick turbulent waves.
One of the benefits—or in this particular moment, drawbacks—to the mate bond was that strong emotions were often felt by the other party.
Inarus’ feelings where I was concerned were strong and I had no doubt Declan had experienced them just as I had while in his mind. This wasn’t good.
“I thought you had meetings…” I trailed off and then flinched when Declan turned his attention toward me.
Oblivious to the tension in the room, Dia wrapped her arms around her brother. “It’s good to have you back.”
Neither man in the room had taken his eyes off me. I didn’t know what to say or how to diffuse the bomb I knew was about to go off. My mind kept playing the sixth anchor memories again and again. None of them were significant but each one built upon the one before it. Each one strengthened and deepened his emotions where I was concerned.
There was a click. The sound was so sudden, I jumped.
I followed the noise and watched as the spelled cuff on Dia’s wrist opened and clattered to the floor. We all stared in stunned silence and she rubbed at her now exposed skin.
You had to be fucking kidding me.
7
The spelled cuff falling off Dia’s wrist created the distraction I’d needed and allowed me to drag Declan from the room while Dia—along with the Pack healers—fussed over Inarus.
A small part of me realized I was abandoning Inarus. Here he’d just woken up after being in a coma for nineteen days, and I took off at the first opportunity. But what else could I do? Memories and emotions that weren’t mine kept rushing to the forefront of my mind.
I needed to get away. I needed to go somewhere quiet where I could shove them into a box and bury them in the farthest corners of my mind. I knew why he’d been worried.
This would change things.
Hell, it was going to change everything. But only if I let it.
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