by Erin Trejo
“Hey college girl?” I call out to her. She glances over her shoulder with a slight smile. Fuck me she’s my world. “How’s it
feel to be with an old man now?”
Carnie laughs and her cheeks turn pink.
“Feels fucking amazing. I’ll be waiting for you,” she calls back to me.
“I’ll be waitin’ for you too.”
EPILOGUE
VIKING
You sure you’re good?” I ask Fin.
He nods his head. His eyes are as tired as I’ve ever seen them.
“Yeah. I’m just glad she’s gettin’ clean brother. I don’t know how much more of this shit I can take,” he says running his hand through his hair.
I know this has been exhausting for him. I’ve watched him wrestle with his own past addiction to try to help her overcome hers. She’s drug him down for a while now. We were all worried about him. He spiraled right along with Molly and that wasn’t something any of us were prepared for.
“It’s not gonna be easy Fin. You love her and I know deep down that she loves you too. It’s been four years brother. It’s time for her to get her life right. You’re a good man and I’m glad you got yourself back from the addiction shit.”
Fin nods his head and takes a long pull from his beer.
“I appreciate that. I know she loves me too. It’s taken time, but she’s comin’ around. Losin’ Reaper and Drake in such a short period of time really fucked her up. I’m just glad she’s still alive and breathin’ at this point,” he tells me honestly.
“Can’t say that I don’t agree with you there. You ready for the party?”
Fin’s eyes light up. His head starts nodding rapidly. We’re all excited for this.
“Fuck yeah.”
“Good. I need to talk to Taz real quick before I head out.”
“She know you’re comin’?”
“No. She’s been so goddamn busy with everything that we haven’t talked a whole lot lately. I know she got that job offer in Georgia. I’m just hopin’ this will help change her mind,” I tell him.
My heart squeezes when I think about Carnie leaving the state. It’s one thing for her to leave for school, but to leave me altogether? I don’t know that I can handle that. We’ve talked a lot over the last four years. I’ve visited her more times than I can count. We’ve talked, texted, and fucked. I made her a promise before she left and I’ve kept it. I’ve not been with anyone but my goddamn hand in the last four years. It has been hell on earth, but I did it. I didn’t just do it for her either. I did it for us.
“She loves you Viking. I hated it at first, but you know you’re good for her,” Fin tells me.
“Her graduation was nice even though she was pissed. She didn’t see us there.”
“You let her think we weren’t there? What the fuck is wrong with you Viking? No wonder she won’t answer any of my calls,” Fin snaps.
It’s funny to watch him. We did show up to her graduation. We just stayed in the back where she couldn’t pick us out of the crowd. I had a photographer up front getting pictures of all that shit though. I wanted this little surprise to work to my advantage.
“She’ll get over it when she sees the party we have goin’ on.
Stop worryin’.”
Fin just shakes his head while I chuckle.
“You’re gonna get cut off brother. I’m tellin’ you she is gonna cut you off on all sex for the next year even if you do actually pull this off.”
I watch Fin as he chuckles and walks away. It doesn’t matter what he thinks.
“Hey Taz. You ready for this?” I call out to her when I see her across the room.
She spins around with a smile plastered across her face as she walks toward me.
“I can’t believe you did this. You bought us a school Viking. I can’t even tell you how much this is going to mean to her.”
Her eyes are bright and wide. I love seeing her happy. Taz means a lot to me and I know she means even more to Carnie.
“It’s a preschool. I hope she likes it. I’m just thankful you’ll be the one runnin’ all that shit. I don’t know if I can handle all them kids runnin’ around,” I tell her with a laugh.
“She’s going to love it. You’re an amazing man Viking. Now get out of here and go get our girl.”
I pull Taz into a hug and press a kiss to the top of her head before I head out. The ride to the college doesn’t take me nearly as long as I thought it would. I find a spot and park my bike. People are just wandering around all over packing up to leave. For the most part Carnie has already packed up and had her shit put in a storage that Fin and I filled up for her.
I stalk across the grass with my heart thundering in my chest. When I see her I gasp. Her back is to me, but I’d know her anywhere. I walk closer as she tells her friend goodbye.
“Congratulations on that job in Georgia,” her friend calls out over her shoulder.
“You ever thought about runnin’ your own school?”
My voice thunders through the air. Carnie slowly turns to face me with a strange look on her face.
“You have some balls to show up now and not even bother to come to my graduation.”
Her little pissed off tone does little more than set my cock to hard. I can feel it getting harder as stand here.
“I was there.”
“Lies Viking,” she snaps.
I chuckle and pull my phone out to show her some of the pictures the photographer took. I hold it up so she can see it. She looks stunned.
“Why didn’t you talk to me?” she asks confused.
“I was settin’ up a surprise for you. You wanna know what it is?”
She huffs before passing me my phone back. I slide it into my pocket. She glares at me.
“You’re an asshole.”
She crosses her arms over her chest.
“I’m your asshole,” I say as I pull out the paperwork for the school from my inner pocket. I hold it out to her, but she just looks at it funny.
“What are you doing Viking?”
“It’s your graduation present. Take it.”
Carnie watches me intently before she takes the papers from my hand. She looks down and opens them up. I watch her as she reads it over with a smile on her face until she looks up at me with teary eyes.
“A preschool?” she asks nearly in sobs now.
“I thought you and Taz could work your magic on those kids. You like it?”
The look in her eyes pierces my soul. She’s my entire world. Fuck I can’t be without her anymore.
“Is this your way of keeping me here?” she asks softly.
“Maybe. Is it workin’?”
“I don’t know what to say,” she says watching me again.
“Say you love me, you still want us, and that you will marry me and be with me forever. I want you Carnie. I want us.”
I slide the ring out of my pocket and drop to one knee in front of her.
“I love you more than I ever thought I could love anyone. I know that this isn’t your world, but you are my world Carn. You mean everything to me, and I don’t know that I can live without you.”
I hold the ring up to her as she cries even harder. All of those tears streaming down her cheeks are for me.
“I love you too.”
She drops to her knees in front of me and wraps her arms around my neck.
“Is that a yes baby girl?”
“Yes. It’s always been a yes Viking. It’ll always be a yes. I love you more than anything.”
I pull back and kiss her roughly before I slip the ring onto her finger. Carnie wipes her eyes and stares at the ring.
“You bought me a ring and a school?” she asks through a little laugh.
“I had to make sure you’d stick around baby girl. Fin was gonna cut my nuts off if you left,” I tell her while grabbing her face in my hands. Carnie laughs.
“You came to my graduation?” she asks not sure if I was really there or not.
> “We were there. We stayed in the back. I had a photographer gettin’ all the good pictures for the party.”
“What party?” she asks as I kiss her cheek, her neck, and her shoulder. I fucking love this girl.
“The party the guys are all settin’ up for you. It’s a graduation and an engagement party. That’s one hell of a party we’re about to have.”
“You did all of this for me?”
“No. I did it for us. I’ve never felt like this before. I want it like this all the time Carnie. You’re mine.”
“I’m yours.”
“You’re goddamn right you are.”
The End.
MONSTER
Chapter 1
Monster
Sweat drips from my temples. I’ve never been so goddamn sick in my life and this fever is bad. If I wasn’t so hardheaded this shit would have been handled a long time ago.
“Keep your arm straight asshole,” Viking grumbles next to me as Paul, our clinic doc shoves a needle into me.
“I don’t need this shit,” I snap back.
“Yeah, you’re lookin’ remarkably well,” Mason adds. Fucker.
“Hey, fuck off before I nail your girl,” I mumble. Mason just laughs knowing damn good and well that I wouldn’t touch Whit. That girl has lost her damn mind. There’s no way in hell I’d go near her.
As I lay my head back and let the doctor do his work, I can’t help but let my mind stray. I wonder what life is like back home in California. I was patched into the No Cal Chapter of the Soulless Bastards years ago, but my life is complicated. I had far too many ghosts haunting me back there, so I asked for a transfer. Declan wasn’t happy that I was leaving, but he understood. I needed to get away from that place and all of the bad shit that happened there. Viking welcomed me with open arms. They were a big family long before I got here, but this past year has brought us even closer together.
Since Fin and his woman had bowed out to go to rehab, his spot became mine. I talked to Fin first though. I didn’t feel right taking his place without seeing where his head was at, but he just couldn’t handle being here anymore. I get that more than anyone, so here I am. I’m a member of the Miami Chapter of the Soulless Bastards.
“How long is this shit gonna take?” I groan as the doc hooks up the IV.
“I’m running antibiotic fluids. The infection is bad Monster. I don’t know why you waited so long to get it treated.” I resist the urge to roll my goddamn eyes at him.
“He’s right. That gunshot wound could have been healin’ up by now,” Viking adds.
“Is this jerk my dick day? Fuck off,” I grumble.
“Can you put some happy meds in that thing too doc?” Mason asks with a chuckle.
I flip him off and close my eyes willing the goddamn world to just fade away if only for a few minutes.
“You’ll be staying here for a few days,” the doc tells me. I shove myself up, reach for the IV in my arm, and try to pull it out when Viking knocks my hand away.
“Don’t you fuckin’ do it,” he growls.
“I ain’t stayin’ in this fuckin’ hell hole for a few days. It ain’t even a fuckin’ hospital and it smells like a fuckin’ outhouse,” I snap as the guys laugh.
“Too fuckin’ bad brother. Doc says you need the antibiotics or your ugly ass could die.”
“Let me die then.”
“Lay the fuck down and be a good little bitch,” Mason teases. I lay down, but I’m ready to snap someone’s neck.
“If I have to be stuck here with you can you at least put on a sexy little nurse’s outfit?” I tease Paul. He eyes me suspiciously no doubt having heard about Ruger and his fucked up antics. The guys all laugh as Paul starts to really look scared.
“I won’t be here at night. I have a girl that can handle changing your bags and shit,” he grumbles looking anywhere but at me.
“I’m not gay Paul. You can calm the fuck down.”
“Ruger isn’t gay either,” he responds quickly. His reply causes me to laugh, as if he knew exactly what I was thinking.
“True, but I ain’t him either. So, who’s the girl? She a nurse?”
“You keep your hands off her. She isn’t a nurse, but she does help out around here. She usually stays in the back room,” Paul tells me as he moves around the room.
“You got little girls tied up in the back room now?” I know I’m pushing his buttons, but it makes me feel better. “And if she’s not a nurse how do you know that she knows how to do this shit?”
Paul sighs before he looks over at me, “I’ve taught her over the years that she’s been here. She likes to learn, she catches on quickly and helps out around here. She can handle you. I promise,” he says with a smirk.
I like the sound of her already.
“We’re gonna head out. I need to get shit set up back at the clubhouse for the Rebels. You get healed up so you can come home, yeah?” Viking nods at me.
“Yeah I get it,” I mumble as I close my eyes again.
I’d just like to sleep this fever off if that’s possible. I wish the Rebels weren’t coming so I could heal at the clubhouse, but with so much going on there right now our normal doc refused. I think the fucker has some beef with the Rebels that we don’t know about as of yet. I keep my eyes closed as the guys start leaving. The silence is welcomed, at least for now.
“Kyza will be here soon with food. If you need anything at all just ask her. She’s a nice girl, you shouldn’t have any problems with her. She’ll come in and give you the medication as needed,” Paul rambles on.
“Kyza? Like the roll?” I pop an eye open and ask as I glance over at him to see him shaking his head like he’s tired of hearing me already.
“Nowhere near the same, dumbass.”
“You have shitty bedside manners for a doc,” I quip before I close my eyes again.
“If I didn’t have to deal with your dumbasses all day I would be a lot happier,” he says with a hint of sadness in his voice.
“Why do you do it then?”
He doesn’t answer me and that has piqued my interest. I open my eyes and turn to look at him. He looks lost. Sad even.
“I lost my wife ten years ago. Right before she died she lost her sister. She couldn’t get adequate medical care because she couldn’t afford it, she didn’t have any insurance. She was living off disability payments, and just couldn’t cut it.”
“You opened your office in the shittiest part of town to help those that need it the most?” I ask.
“Yeah. Figured it was my way of giving something back. Ella, my wife, that’s all she ever wanted.”
“And now you get stuck treating assholes dealin’ in the illegal side of shit,” I murmur under my breath.
“Do you have insurance Monster?”
I narrow my eyes and shake my head.
“Then you’re just a person in need of help too.” He turns toward the door when I stop him.
“Hey Paul?”
He turns back to look at me.
“That means a lot. Not just to me. You’re doin’ your wife proud man.”
With a quick nod he’s gone.
Chapter 2
Kyza
Music blasts through my headphones as I dance my way down the road. Bad part of town? Shit, I grew up in worse than this. This isn’t bad to me, or maybe I just don’t see a problem with the way people live around here. I’ve seen it every day for the last twenty-two years.
“Hey Kyza,” one of the homeless ladies yells at me. I pull my headphones off and wrap them around my neck as I smile at her.
“Kelly, how are you? How’s the finger?”
She came into the clinic a while back with a cut that needed stitches. I’m not a nurse, but I could be. Paul made sure I knew enough about that kind of shit.
“It’s better. I was going to come and let doc take a look at it tomorrow, but since you’re here… can you?”
I nod my head, walk closer, and reach my hand out for hers. She place
s her small, frail hand in mine and my heart aches for her. Kelly was the mother of four kids but lost them to drug addiction. She lost her house, job, and everything that she loved. Now, she lives on the street just trying to make it day by day.
“It actually looks really good. Did you finish the antibiotics that doc gave you?” She looks away sheepishly before pulling her hand away.
“I was trying to save some money.”
“Hasn’t Paul made it clear that you don’t have to do that? You can always come to the clinic Kelly. Finish your pills,” I scold her.
She nods her head and as I turn to leave, quietly replies, “You’re a good girl Kyza.”
I wish that were true. No one knows why I’m here. No one knows why my life is what it is now. I’m just a ghost of the past me and that’s the way I like it. No one knows me, and I have no fears here.
I make it to the clinic and go in the back as usual. Paul had called and told me that there was a patient staying for the next few days. I like it when this happens. I don’t feel so alone. Although we don’t get clients staying overnight often, I tend to take advantage when we do.
I start doing my nightly routine. I clean up the front office, restock the supplies, disinfecting as I go, when my phone chimes. It’s time for more Motrin. Paul told me not to give them strong pain medication unless he’s here. I smile as I head to the back and grab the pills, a bottle of water, and the food I brought for him then walk back to the room he’s in. I knock first, but when no one answers I just walk in. The room is dark. Before I can even reach for the light switch a hand snakes around my waist. I’m about to scream when cold metal touches my temple.
“Who the fuck are you?”
His voice is deep, dark, and a whisper in my ear. My insides tremble as he waits for an answer. This isn’t anyone that would be looking for me I tell myself. It’s just the patient.
“I’m Kyza. I work with Paul,” I say shakily.
The man lowers the gun and moves around me in the dark. The only light is what’s coming in from the hallway. He sits in the chair in the corner. His face is blocked by shadows.