And why does this hospital allow people to torment me with friggin’ balloons – aren’t there rules here against this kinda stuff?
She talked to him a little, telling him about the hockey scores, the conversation she had with her parents earlier in the day, and anything else she could think of, just to keep talking.
Day blurred to dusk, and dusk faded to darkness. That night, she lay beside him again, falling asleep to the quiet thud-thud in his chest.
As the sun rose on day three post-accident, Lisa was still committed to the thought that AJ was going to wake up. If not today or tomorrow, someday. She was absolutely sure she’d hear his voice again.
I miss his voice.
She was starting to find a routine within the hospital walls. It felt easier to keep an order to her actions because she was often finding it difficult to organize her thoughts. She suspected his friends and family probably disapproved of her spending so much time in the hospital, for her own sake more than anything else. The medical staff voiced concerns about her well-being, but no one objected too loudly, as long as she ate, slept, washed and went outside for a little bit every day. And, since she didn’t interfere with AJ’s medical treatment, they allowed her to stay for as long as she liked.
I’m so lucky the university was so understanding about my ‘extenuating circumstances’. I can’t imagine having to leave him here like this.
Lisa waited for someone to arrive and relieve her for a little while. It was, as she expected, Jeremy. He was an early riser. And peppy too. While part of her was surprised at how loyal and reliable “Joker Jeremy” could be, she was relieved to see, with her own eyes, that he was a good of a friend to AJ as she had heard he had been to him over the years.
She showered and went for a quick walk around the hallways, taking the stairs down to the cafeteria to pick up some breakfast for the two of them. She was adding an extra flight of stairs back up, every day. Today, being day three, that meant she walked three flights of stairs and took the elevator the rest of the way. AJ was on the ninth floor, so, if he’d still not woken up by day nine, she’d be carrying breakfast all the way from the cafeteria to the ninth floor. That didn't bare thinking about, on either count.
Breakfast choices varied. Today was croissants, fruit salad and orange juice. She could murder a decent cup of tea, but American tea tasted so strange to her. Weird American milk, she thought as she made her tea.
“Oh, what I wouldn’t give for a proper Irish brew,” she complained as she sat down, handing breakfast over to Jeremy.
“Ugh. Would you shut up!” he told her playfully. “That’s literally all you’ve complained about since you got here. How weird our food tastes and how you want real tea!”
“Well, it’s true! Your food does taste weird to me, and at home I’d be drinking ten cups of tea, good tea, Irish tea, every single day. Not stupid wannabe American tea with funny tasting milk. Do you know they put ice in their tea down here, Jer? ICE? Tea is not supposed to be cold like that. It’s practically a crime against tea!” she ranted.
The days were starting to follow a pattern: visitors, check-ups, reading to him, doctors, nurses, physiotherapy – apparently so his muscles wouldn’t go to hell in a handbasket while he was asleep, and so he wouldn’t get bedsores. She had no idea how long it took for someone to get bedsores, but they insisted he needed to move.
The medical team took the time to show her a few exercises so she could help AJ between their visits. Today, she learned to work the smaller muscle groups. They asked her to help since he needed his muscles moved fairly regularly and she was there so much anyway. She knew when he woke up, he was going to be pissed that his muscles were deteriorating – he turned into quite the diva, when he missed even a couple days at the gym.
Jocks, she thought amused while they showed her how to work out his wrists, one at a time.
After a good session of moving AJ’s limbs, Lisa’s arms ached and she was tired.
When things quietened down in the afternoon, she sat with Ana, Britt and AJ’s mom. She was reading; Britt and Ana were talking, and his mom was doing a crossword puzzle in the paper. Lisa was enjoying spending time with them, talking to them and getting to know them. Despite the awful circumstances, this was a good opportunity for them to get to know her, too. She was loving hearing stories about AJ and Ana’s childhood, his teenage years, and even the more recent stories, filling in the gaps around what she knew from their constant conversations. They talked into the wee hours before Jeremy arrived to send everyone home and keep Lisa company.
Lisa and Jeremy sat chatting quietly. He was AJ’s best friend, and Lisa was happy they had found some kind of peace between them. Not that she’d admit it to him, at least not yet, but she was even starting to like him. She wanted to get to know him, too. When he fell asleep, she sat next to the bed, whispering quietly to AJ, who still showed no sign of waking up. After about an hour, she was convinced she felt his hand twitch again. When she saw his toe move beneath the sheets, she was almost certain her mind was playing tricks on her.
“Jeremy?” she whispered, as she stroked AJ’s forehead with her fingertips.
Nothing.
“JEREMY!” she hissed, “Wake up!”
Ok. Don’t overreact. Don’t panic. It’s just his toe. Just a reflex. Not a conscious movement. The doctor said it was probably just a reflex so it’s just a reflex.
Picking up her book, she chucked it at Jeremy.
You’re panicking. Stay calm.
“OW!” he exclaimed as he rubbed the spot where the book had hit him. “What was that for?”
“Shhhhh.” She snapped and then realized she’d just rudely, and probably painfully woken him from a deep sleep. “I’m sorry, but I couldn’t wake you. He moved his toe, Jer.”
“Lis-” he started cautiously.
“Jeremy. Seriously. I’m not seeing things. I’m not delirious from tiredness. I thought I was. But I’m sure of it. I’m sure he moved!”
He looked at her skeptically and lifted AJ’s other hand. They sat like this for thirty-five minutes. Jeremy was ready to go back to sleep and give up on watching for signs of movement, when he saw it, too. The sheets moved ever so slightly. Jeremy alternated his look of shock frantically between her eyes and staring at AJ’s feet.
She smiled at him – her best I told you so smile, tinged with relief. With one hand holding AJ’s hand and with the other, stroking his cheek, she spoke to him, softly. Jeremy did, too. For the rest of the night they sat joking between themselves, trying to quietly coax AJ to wake up. There was a renewed sense of hope to their chat.
Every now and again, AJ's eyes would open and shut. The nurses had already told her this was common with people in comas but Lisa obviously couldn't help but hope that this was the beginning of AJ coming out of his coma.
The next morning, the neurologist listened as Lisa and Jeremy recounted the previous night’s events. He repeated the test they’d conducted on AJ a couple days ago to determine the level of traumatic brain injury. The neurologist had explained that it was a scoring system called the Glasgow Coma Scale with three categories: eye opening, verbal response, and motor response. When AJ first came out of surgery, he had ranked a three, ‘severe’ on the scale, essentially non-responsive to any test.
I’m not sure anyone realized quite how bad he was on the scale. I don’t think I even knew there was a scale. Before all this, there was awake and coma as far as I was concerned.
Lisa watched as the doctor conducted a series of tests to see if AJ was any more alert than he had been. He asked a series of questions and gave commands to see if AJ could open his eyes, move, speak, or understand what was happening around him.
“AJ, can you hear me? Do you know where you are?” He paused. “AJ if you can hear me could you open your eyes?”
Nothing.
“Ok, how about your toes? Can you wiggle your toes?” Lisa held her breath as she watched his feet under the sheet. There was movement.
It might have been almost imperceptible, but it was there. Lisa clamped her hand over her mouth so she didn’t squeal. She glanced at Jeremy to see if he’d noticed, he had and gave her an encouraging thumbs up.
“Good. AJ can you wiggle your toes again for me?” the doctor asked again as he scribbled something on the chart.
Nothing.
“Ok, AJ, you’re going to feel a few pokes and prods now. It’s just to test your reflexes and responses and it’s nothing to worry about.”
She watched as AJ’s body flinched away from the doctor’s tests. His eyes flickered open a couple of times when he was poked, but, again, she wasn’t sure if it was a deliberate choice by AJ or a reflex. She couldn’t believe what she was seeing, or hearing – she’d heard AJ make an indecipherable noise, twice.
“From these results, it would seem as though AJ is improving slightly.” The doctor saw the excitement on Lisa’s face and quickly continued. “Slightly” he repeated, “but even if this is the case, Lisa, there’s a very long way to go. I’m going to order an MRI and an EEG to see if anything has changed in his brain over the last few days, and, not to give you false hope, but perhaps you should do some reading on what happens when coma patients do wake up. This is a good start. AJ seems to be moving in the right direction, but this is still considered a severe injury. Based on eye response, verbal response and motor response, he scores an eight now – this is obviously a marked improvement on his previous score. And I’m hopeful that over the coming days and weeks he’ll continue to move forward.”
Lisa’s spirits wouldn’t be dampened. She knew he was trying to wake up. She could feel it. She was researching how to handle it when it happened and, as the sun rose on day five of what was easily proving to be one of the most difficult times of her life, her resolve was stronger than ever. She was only leaving his side for a short while, a couple times each day. In the morning, just time for her shower, the breakfast run and to clear her head. She needed that time to gather her thoughts and psych herself up for the rest of the day. And, again in the evening, to decompress and wind down for the night.
As she stepped out of the elevator, she greeted the nurses. The same nurses, same greeting and the same, sympathetic, sad look on their faces, countered by the same cheery grin on hers.
“Hey, hockey boy!” she called to him as she entered the room, which, as usual, was pretty crowded. His parents, sister, Brad, Jeremy, Britt, Ana and a few of the players had stopped by early, before they took off for today’s game.
Chelsea had gone home the previous day, she couldn’t get any more time off work, but promised she’d be back down soon. Saying goodbye had been hard for both of them. Chelsea didn’t want to leave her friend alone to deal with the situation. She had been there for Lisa through so much, not just on this trip, but throughout their entire transatlantic friendship. Chelsea had been her rock since AJ’s accident, instinctively knowing when she needed to talk, or to be left alone. She was unimposing, yet always there.
Lisa knew she was being overly sensitive, but she felt like everyone thought she was a naive little kid for continuing to believe that AJ would be awake by now. When the doctor had mentioned it, she countered, “Maybe he’s just being a stereotypical boy. He’s loving being waited on hand and foot. Stop feeding him for a few hours, and he’ll wake up brave and quick – mark my words.”
“OHMYGOD!” exclaimed Ana, who had been holding his hand. Jolting Lisa out of her thoughts about her friend. “He moved! He moved his hand! It’s the first time I’ve felt it.”
Lisa was happy that his sister finally got to experience the moment for herself. She knew how excited she felt when she felt each small movement AJ made. It gave her hope, hope that he’d soon be awake again. She couldn’t imagine how it made his mom feel, or his sister. Obviously, they’d been completely derailed by his accident and were worried sick. If Lisa had completely neglected herself, Ana had been even worse.
“AJ? Can you hear me?” Lisa spoke.
“HE DID IT AGAIN!” she exclaimed animatedly.
Brad, sitting across the bed from them, lifted his friend’s hand, and indicated Lisa should speak again.
“AJ, these crazy people are starting to make me feel sane. It’s not the natural order of things so you gotta wake up and help me out here!” she told him.
Within seconds, the machines connected to him, started beeping, alarms ringing.
“GET THE NURSE!” Lisa screamed at Mike.
Or was that Marc? She wondered glancing at his back as he sprinted from the room. Hitting the call button on the remote, she tried to calm her panic. She instinctively shooed Brad out of the way and sat beside AJ on the bed, talking loudly enough to be heard over the various beeps and buzzing. She could see AJ’s eyes moving rapidly under his eyelids.
“Hey, hey, mister, calm down.” Her voice was level and calm. She spoke directly to him. She thought he was maybe having some kind of seizure, or maybe he’d heard her ask him to wake up and he was trying to do just that.
“Ok, you need to listen to me. I didn’t mean wake up right this second.” She soothed. “Stop trying so hard, you’re giving us all a headache! I’m sorry I called you lazy. I’m here with you, take a breath.” Squeezing his hand, she felt tears threatening. “Your mom is here. Your dad, too. Ana, Britt, Brad, Jeremy, Marc, Lindsay and Jared are on their way up – you’re freaking everyone out!” She paused, unable to stop her tears. “You’re scaring me, AJ.” Her free hand stroked the side of his face. “Don’t push so hard. I know it’s frustrating that you can’t open your eyes. You can’t move, or talk, or throw random objects at Jeremy and Brad. But it’ll happen, don’t force it. You’re not ready, you see? And that’s ok, babe. All these alarms ringing and machines beeping? That’s them telling you to knock it off, you’re just not ready. Quit trying so hard, Mister over-achiever. You’re going too fast and you need to slow down. I know that’s difficult for you, Mister-fast-paced-do-everything-at-warp-speed-Williams, but do it for me? Please? You can wake up when you’re ready. Just stop, AJ. Please, calm down, relax and listen to me. Listen to the sound of my voice. For crying out loud, work with me here!”
She spoke quickly as her tears fell heavily. She was filled with pain and grief seeing him shake before her on the bed. His mom had moved to sit opposite her and was holding AJ’s other hand. She was talking to him, too, trying to calm him down and reassure him that he was going to be ok. Lisa sobbed as she waited, holding her breath for some kind of sign that he’d heard her, hoping that the nurse would arrive soon. It felt like they were taking forever. She pushed the button again as she started to hear a ringing in her ears. Her head felt dizzy and she could have sworn she was seeing tiny little stars appearing at the edges of her vision. She was hot. She tried to speak but nothing came.
Aw shit, was the last thing she remembered as she tried to stand and everything went black.
Chapter 31
When Lisa came to, she was in the recovery position, in her pjs on a hospital bed, and there was a nurse standing over her, taking her pulse and blood pressure.
“I’m fine,” she grumbled, frantically trying to sit up. “How is he?” Someone was pushing against her to ensure she laid on the bed. Realizing it wasn’t actually the nurse’s hand, she turned to face its owner.
“Jeremy, I’m fine. Really, I’m ok. How is he? Did the machines stop beeping? Is he ok?” Panic filled her voice. He held up his free hand to silence her.
“He’s ok. But I’m not sure the same can be said about you. Lie down,” he ordered. She’d never heard him be quite so serious. “Don’t fight. Just lie there and let the nurse do her job. When she’s done, you’re gonna lie there some more, ok?”
She lay quietly.
“Ok?” he repeated.
“Fine.” She grumbled. “But-”
“No!” He was starting to get irritated. “No buts. Just lie there. You fainted. You need checked over, and rest.”
He seemed emotional, angry and worried.
“Yes, doctor Jeremy,” she replied trying to lighten the mood.
“It’s not funny, Lis. What good is trying to get AJ to wake up, when you’re driving yourself into the ground?”
“I’m fi-”
“Do not tell me you’re fine, Lisa.” His voice was definitely raised now. He was so clearly fighting to keep himself together. “You’re not eating properly. You’re getting no sleep. You’re stuck in the same room for twenty-three hours a day. You’re worried sick. Literally. And that’s not fine. That’s so far from fine, fine isn’t even in the same State as you right now.” He rushed on so she couldn’t interrupt him.
His voice was a little quieter now, “I know you love him. I know seeing him like this is breaking your heart. I know if it was my girlfriend lying there, it would take an act of God, or a crane, at least, to move me from her bedside. But he needs you in top form. Well,” he paused to sit on the bed next to her, “as top form as can be expected in this situation. And,” he took her hand, “I need you. We all do. Your positivity and your ‘spit and fire’ attitude, your blind faith that he’s going to wake up no matter what. You buck everyone up. You keep us all positive. When we doubt, your faith is enough for all of us. When we question, you always have some kind of answer, even if it’s sarcasm and sass. When we need a hug, or a flood-gate opening cry, you’re there for that too.” He smiled.
“You have to look after yourself. I have to look after you – you have to let me look after you. When he wakes up, I’m already planning on borrowing Mike’s pads to defend myself.”
Seeing the look on Lisa’s face Jeremy quickly added, “I know you don’t need looked after, I don’t mean that in a patronizing ‘poor little woman’ kind of way. It’s just what family does, we take care of each other.”
She giggled a little at the image of Jeremy standing at the foot of AJ’s bed, fully kitted-out in goalie pads, having AJ hurl random objects at him.
He continued.
Intimate Strangers (The Lisa Millar Series Book 1) Page 16