“Surprise!” my mom yelled, throwing her hands in the air. “Are you excited to see Bo? He drove your truck down here for you and got to town about the same time we did!”
I just stared back at her, unable to speak. She kept talking, clearly excited. “At first, I thought about telling you, but then I thought, no, Nikki loves surprises!”
I hated surprises.
I looked past my mom and sister to see Hattie and Irene coming up behind them. Irene took one look at us and knew exactly what was going on. “Oh Lordy, we just need a baby and we’d have a real life ‘Who’s yo daddy’ Jerry Springer episode.”
“Well, hello there,” Hattie said in a seductive tone as she pushed her way past my mom and Amber to stand next to Bo. She looked him up and down. “Show me your calves, farmer.”
Bo looked at me, his mouth open in shock…or was it horror... “What’s going on here, Nikki?” he practically yelled.
His booming voice thundered through the halls and everyone went silent. My mom and Amber looked at Bo, confused, then looked at Joe like they were seeing him for the first time. “Oh, Nikki,” my mom said, disappointment in her voice. “What have you done?”
“I have to go,” Joe said. He walked past me, his head down so he didn’t have to make eye contact with any of us.
The rest of us stood there for a moment, not sure what to do or say next. “I need some air,” Bo finally said. He looked at my mom. “I’m going to go for a walk.” She reached up and gently grabbed his elbow as she whispered, “I’m so sorry.”
When he disappeared down the hall, my mom looked at me, anger in her eyes. “So, I see you haven’t changed one bit!”
“Mom, this isn’t the time…”
She interrupted me. “You’re right. It isn’t. But we will talk about this later.” She took Amber by the arm and took a deep breath to calm herself before she went into Grandma’s room.
I stood there in the hall with Hattie and Irene. “Looks like you’ve really done it this time,” Irene said, shaking her head.
“You can’t blame her,” Hattie said. “I wouldn’t be able to choose either, they’re both hot. Lucky for me, they’re probably also both single now.” She looked at me. “Sorry, too soon?”
My eyes filled with tears.
Irene rolled her eyes. “Oh crap, are you crying?” She rummaged through her purse and I thought she was going to hand me a tissue, but instead, she pulled out her phone. “This is a job for Greta and Virginia.” She stepped away to make a call, leaving me with Hattie.
“Look on the bright side,” Hattie said. I waited for her to finish her sentence, but she didn’t.
“What’s on the bright side?” I finally asked her as I wiped the tears from my face.
Hattie smiled and patted me on the back. “I don’t know, I can’t think of anything. But you’re a fairly smart girl. I bet you’ll come up with something.”
Irene walked over and slid her phone in her purse. “Virginia’s on her way over. Greta can’t make it because she has some meeting about her anti-sex class.”
Ten minutes later, I stood in front of the hospital waiting for Virginia. I felt numb. Maybe I was still in shock. When she pulled up, I climbed in and looked back at the hospital. Was Bo still in there? Where had Joe gone?
“Here,” Virginia said, pulling my attention from the hospital. “I got you this on the way here.” She handed me a donut.
“Thanks,” I said taking the bag and placing it on my lap.
Virginia let out a gentle laugh. “You must be distraught if you’re not eating.”
“I never thought things would play out like this,” I said, looking at the hospital again. “I thought I was in control and I could just take my time and figure things out and then eventually tell Bo or Joe that it was over.”
“Honey, do you really think you would’ve done that? You can’t make a decision to save your life.”
I sighed. She was right. I hated to admit it, but who knows how long I would’ve strung them both along.
“What’s done is done,” Virginia said, pulling away from the curb. “All you can do is move forward.”
But I couldn’t move. I felt frozen. My life was crumbling around me, and it was all my fault.
I had Virginia take me back to Grandma Dean’s apartment and as soon as we pulled up, I remembered I had driven Grandma’s car to the hospital earlier and it was still in the parking lot. Virginia said she had to go back and get Betty anyway, so she’d have Betty drive it home for me. My truck was somewhere at the hospital too, but Bo hadn’t given me the keys yet so I assumed he would drive it back here…or wherever he was staying while my mom and sister were visiting. Or for all I knew, he was on his way back to Illinois in it.
I walked into Grandma’s apartment and was hit with the usual loneliness. I wanted to go to bed, crawl under the covers, and never come out. But as I made my way into my room, I knew I needed to take care of something. I needed to call Trevor. I had already upset two men in my life. Might as well make it three.
He answered on the third ring, right as I assumed it was going to voicemail.
He sighed as he answered the phone. “Nikki, I don’t want to hear a lecture from you right now.”
I was confused. “Why would I lecture you?”
“It wasn’t my idea to separate, okay? It was Amber’s. And I’m sure I deserved it, but right now, I can’t handle you lecturing me.”
“I didn’t know,” I admitted. “I only saw Amber for a minute this afternoon and we didn’t have a chance to talk.”
Now he was the one to be confused. “Then why are you calling?”
I took a deep breath and willed myself to be brave. “We need to talk about what happened between us.”
“Oh, Nikki, come on.” He sounded irritated. “That was a long time ago!”
“I know, but…I need to talk about it.”
“You women and your talking! Why can’t you ever just let things be?”
“Trevor, I need this. I just need to talk for a minute. You don’t even have to say anything. You can just listen.”
“Fine,” he said with a huff.
Suddenly, I didn’t know what to say. I hadn’t thought this through.
“Are you going to talk or what?” he grumbled.
“I…I…” I let out the breath I had been holding. “I don’t know what to say. Maybe this was a mistake. I just thought I could call you and talk about that night, maybe find out what happened…”
“You don’t know what happened? You weren’t that drunk, were you?”
“No,” I answered. “I know what happened. I just have a lot of guilt, I guess.”
He was quiet for a minute. “I do too. I’ve never talked to Amber about it, and I’m assuming you haven’t either because she’s never brought it up.”
“It’s not like we had an affair,” I said, trying to bring us both out of this pit of despair we were both suddenly in. “You two weren’t even seeing each other at the time.”
“That’s true. But it still feels like the sort of thing we should’ve talked about.” He was quiet for a minute. “But I guess that’s our problem. We don’t talk about a lot of things.”
Silence took over the conversation, and I didn’t know how to bring up the issue I wanted to talk about it. I was just about to let it go and get off the phone when he spoke.
“Nikki, that night in the cornfield… I didn’t hurt you or anything, right?”
There it was. He didn’t know what happened either. “No,” I answered. “I had a chance to say no, but I didn’t. There was no way you could’ve known. It’s not like you’re a mind-reader.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked. “If you didn’t want to do it, why didn’t you say something?”
“You must have known deep down or you wouldn’t have brought it up.” I sounded more defensive than I meant to.
He sighed. “All these years later, I can still see your face when I asked you if you want to st
op. You looked…conflicted. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve beat myself up over that night.” He was quiet. “Am I monster? Is that what all this means?”
I couldn’t believe he was baring his soul to me—that we were having this conversation after all this time. “You’re not a monster. We were young and stupid and had too much to drink. We both made mistakes that night. We were caught up in the moment, I guess. But I’m responsible for my own actions, and I didn’t say no. I have to forgive myself.”
“I’m sorry for my part in it,” Trevor said, his voice cracking.
“I’m sorry too.” I wiped the tears from my face and took a deep breath.
He tried to compose himself and I did the same. “So,” he said a little more upbeat. “I bet you were happy to see Bo.”
Thoughts of him standing there next to Joe flooded my mind. “Oh Trevor, I really screwed that up.”
I told him what happened and waited for him to jump all over me about it. He didn’t. Instead, his voice filled with compassion—something I’d never heard from him before. “You’re going to be okay, Nikki. One way or another, this will all work itself out.”
“Thanks,” I said, wiping away another tear. “You’re going to be okay too. You and Amber are going to patch things up.”
We were quiet for a moment then finally said our good-byes. I hung up with a sense of closure. I could let go of my guilt and put that moment in the past, where it belonged. I could forgive myself for the poor decisions of my youth. But could I forgive myself for my poor decisions as an adult?
I climbed into bed and Catalie Portman finally came out of Grandma’s room and jumped up with me. I held her close as I cried. Suddenly, I felt something touch my back. I turned to see that Kitty Purry had come to comfort me as well. No criticism, no judgement, just love.
29
The next morning, I got up before my mom or Amber. They had both slept in Grandma’s room, and the door was still closed. I had managed to avoid them the night before when they came home from visiting Grandma in the hospital. I stayed in my room all evening and was thankful for the donut from Virginia when I finally got hungry around midnight.
My plan for the day was to leave as soon as possible and go work at our shop. Hopefully, I would stay busy and it would keep my mind off things.
Before I left, I opened the curtains in the living room like Grandma did each morning so the cats could bask in the light that came pouring in. I started to turn around to walk back into the kitchen but as I did, something outside caught my eye. A cowboy hat. I looked out the window and saw a man sitting in a lawn chair with his back to me. All I could see was his hat above the back of the chair. Bo.
He must have been in the apartment all night and I didn’t realize it. I took a deep breath and opened the door to the back. I had to talk to him, to apologize.
I made my way over to him, my heart racing. I didn’t expect him to forgive me, but I hoped he would at least listen.
A deep breath did nothing to calm my nerves. If anything, it made me feel dizzy. “I’m sorry,” I said as I knelt next to him. “I never wanted to hurt you.”
“You’re sorry for what?” The strange voice shocked me, and I looked up to see that it wasn’t Bo sitting there. It was Lloyd.
I jumped up. “What are you doing? You nearly gave me a heart attack!”
He smiled. “I look that good, huh?”
My heart was throbbing in my head. For a moment, I felt like I couldn’t see straight. When my vision finally cleared, I looked Lloyd over, just to make sure I hadn’t lost my mind completely. I hadn’t. It was Lloyd all right. Not only was he wearing his typical Speedo and silky robe, he now also had on a cowboy hat and cowboy boots.
I narrowed my eyes at him. “Why are you dressed like that?”
Lloyd sighed, and I could see sadness wash over his face. “The ladies don’t want me anymore now that there’s a new guy in town.”
“What new guy?” I asked, confused.
“Hattie’s new boy toy. You should see him. He’s ripped. Got herself a real cowboy.”
I had never seen Lloyd so upset.
“I saw him last night,” he continued. “She was parading him around here, and the ladies were following him around. They didn’t pay any attention to me, Nikki! Can you imagine that! There’s no way he could be a better lover than me! He probably smells like manure! And who wants to sleep with someone with a farmer’s tan. It looks like they’re still dressed even when they’re naked!”
He shook his head and continued his rant. “And do you want to know the worst part? He’s probably your age!”
Alarm bells went off in my head.
“Lloyd, did you happen to get his name?”
He huffed. “I heard it, but I can’t remember it.”
My mouth was suddenly dry. I tried to stay calm. “Lloyd, was his name Bo?”
He thought for a moment, and I wanted to reach down and shake the answer out of him. He looked up at me. “Yeah, I think it was. Do you know him?”
So, he hadn’t gone home. He was staying at Hattie’s house! As if the poor guy hadn’t suffered enough already.
“Poodles, you have to help me get rid of that guy,” Lloyd pleaded. “This is my turf. I can’t let him swoop in and take my ladies. That’s all I have left in life! Look at this ridiculous getup I’m wearing today! I thought if it’s a cowboy the ladies want, then it’s a cowboy I’ll give them. But I can’t compete with him, Nikki! I just can’t!”
“Lloyd! Get a hold of yourself!” The poor guy was falling apart. “Don’t worry. I’ll help you.” Well, I was actually planning on helping Bo. But either way, I wanted him out of Hattie’s apartment just as fast as Lloyd did.
As I drove to the shop that morning, my mind was flooded with thoughts. The case had come to a standstill, Bo was sleeping in Hattie’s apartment and apparently being used as her boy toy, my mother was furious with me, and I had no idea where Joe was. I suddenly felt disconnected from everyone.
I thought about my conversation with Lloyd. Evidently, Bo slept at Hattie’s the night before. I was guessing his original plan was to sleep at Grandma Dean’s, but he decided not to after the blowup at the hospital. A quick text to my sister confirmed it.
Mom and Amber were going back to the hospital that morning to visit Grandma Dean and I decided to stay at the shop, as far away from my mother as possible. But I needed to talk to Amber. Well, what I really needed was to talk to Bo, but I just didn’t feel ready for that yet. I figured Amber could fill me in on how badly everyone hated me. I sent her a text telling her we needed to talk.
I got the shop ready to open and I sat behind the counter looking around the place. Everything was all neat and organized. The shop was always bright and cheerful. No matter how down I felt at times, the shop always cheered me up. And today, I definitely needed the boost.
Thoughts of Joe and Bo raced through my mind. I still felt numb from the shock of seeing them together. At some point, I was going to have to deal with this mess.
I kept busy most of the morning, a steady flow of customers keeping my mind off my problems. Around noon, my phone rang, and it was Annalise. She was working at Grandma Dean’s antique shop, Junk in the Trunk, just down the road from me.
“Hey, Annalise,” I answered as cheerfully as I could.
“Nikki,” she said with a hushed voice. “I had a customer in here a few minutes ago. She bought a dresser and she’s coming back with some help in half an hour to pick it up.”
“Okay,” I said slowly. “Is that bad?”
“No, I just think you should be here when she comes back.”
I was confused. “Annalise, what’s going on?”
“When she was paying, we struck up a conversation and she mentioned that her grandson was part of a crew and was visiting for a few days. I didn’t know what she meant by ‘crew,’ but I didn’t say anything to her about it. Then a few minutes later, she mentioned him again and said his group was in town. At fir
st, I thought maybe he was a musician or something, but then she said something really strange. She said she had just dropped off some cookies to him at the old sewing building. Nikki, I think her grandson is in a gang.”
“Well, it’s definitely a possibility. I don’t know why else he’d be in that building. But why are you telling me all this?”
She huffed a little. “Because, you know…the case you and Geraldine are working on. This might be a chance for you to talk to someone in the gang.”
It seemed like Annalise knew a lot more about the case than she should. Had Grandma Dean been talking to her about it?
We were back to square one on the case, and Annalise was right, talking to a member of the gang might be helpful. I wasn’t sure if we could do it in a way that didn’t make his grandmother suspicious of either him or us, but we could try.
“I’ll be there in thirty minutes,” I told her before hanging up. I didn’t want to go by myself, so I called Virginia. She said she’d meet me there.
Soon Virginia and I were standing inside the antique shop talking to Annalise. “She should be here any minute,” Annalise said from behind the counter.
“So, how are we going to go about this?” I asked Virginia.
“I’m not sure,” Virginia said, glancing out the large front windows. “Maybe I can distract her, and you can talk to her grandson.”
“This is so exciting,” Annalise said, clapping her hands. “I can’t believe I get to be a part of the investigation. “
“Someone just pulled up,” Virginia said. “Let’s keep this low key!”
“Got it!” Annalise said, suddenly serious.
The door jingled and in walked an older lady and an older guy. We looked at Annalise. Was this the right lady? Because if it was, that definitely wasn’t her grandson. Annalise smiled stiffly.
“Hello, Miss Nora! You’re back...and I see you brought help.”
The old lady smiled. “Yeah, was gonna grab my grandson, but he was busy with his friends. My brother came to my rescue, though.”
A Family Affair Page 13